


The Villain to Your Hero

by Thursdays_Angel



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Depression, Gen, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Identity Issues, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki (Marvel)-centric, Misunderstandings, Possession, Protective Frigga (Marvel), Protective Odin, Self-Hatred, Sick Loki (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:02:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 123,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23385682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thursdays_Angel/pseuds/Thursdays_Angel
Summary: The events on Jötunheim lead to more than Loki discovering the truth of his birth. He doesn't want to be a monster but he now understands he was alwaysmeantto be one. After Thor is banished to Midgard, Loki knows his idiot of a brother will never learn the lesson Odin wants him to. Thor needs to be a hero and Loki will provide him the villain he needs to fight to do so. Unfortunately, knowledge of his origins isn't the only thing Loki brought back from Jötunheim. Something worse lurks underneath his skin.
Relationships: Frigga | Freyja & Loki (Marvel), Frigga | Freyja/Odin (Marvel), Hela & Loki (Marvel), Loki & Odin (Marvel), Loki & Thor, Loki & Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 310
Kudos: 462





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Hope everyone is doing okay amid all of this craziness. On the plus side, telework allows for _so much writing time!!!!!_
> 
> So... I've had this sitting on my hard drive for quite some time. I went back, found it, then decided to throw in a new twist. I started this fic long before I began writing the Picking Up the Pieces series so the writing is just a little bit rough around the edges. I'd floated the idea that Loki's "villainy" was something he used as a means to help Thor regain his worthiness of Mjölnir. A lot of the first part of this takes place during the first Thor movie so much of the dialogue and actions are the same. Although actions and dialogue aren't an exact copy, otherwise this wouldn't be canon-divergence.
> 
> Also parts of this story were influenced by [Castles in the Air](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14226009/chapters/32798586) by [cosmic_medusa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmic_medusa/pseuds/cosmic_medusa) and [Unmasked](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1071889/chapters/2151349) by [Jocelyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jocelyn/pseuds/Jocelyn). Two awesome stories that y'all really need to read if you haven't already done so.
> 
> I don't have an update schedule like I did with my last fic but I do have a few more chapters already completed, they just need to be read over one more time before I post them. So, please bear with me on that.
> 
> Just a friendly reminder, I have no beta so all mistakes are my own. Tags will be updated as needed. Enjoy.

**_ The Villain to Your Hero _ **

**_One_ **

_“Don’t let them touch you!”_

Loki heard Volstagg’s warning just as he was running towards his next target. With a dagger in one hand and his other held up to deflect any blow, he swung for the giant. The Giant managed to grab Loki’s arm and he had just enough time to think, _shit_ , before his armor began to break away.

He watched in shock and increasing horror as, instead of burning as he’d expected, his arm turned blue in reaction to the touch. Once the color had completely taken over exchanged a look with his opponent. He quickly stabbed the Giant. Once it let go, Loki watched his skin return to its normal color.

The battle raging around him seemed almost inconsequential to the one being fought in his mind. Perhaps the change was his seiðr’s instinctive protection of himself, changing his skin to match the giants to keep its master from harm.

_That’s not true and you know it._

Forcing his racing emotions into submission Loki returned his attention to the fight around him. He knew the speed of time had not changed yet Fandral’s injury, their run from the creature released by Laufey to Odin’s sudden appearance and their subsequent return to Asgard, was little more than a blur to him. Everything came into sharp focus in the Bifröst Observatory with Odin and Thor’s raised voices drawing his attention.

“Why did you bring us back?” demanded Thor.

“Do you realize what you have done?” Odin barked, hand upon Heimdall’s sword. “What you’ve started?”

“I was protecting my home.”

“You cannot even protect your friends,” Odin ripped the sword from the pedestal and threw it at the Watchman. “How do you hope to protect the kingdom?” To Hogun, Volstagg and Sif he ordered, “Get him to the healing room. _Now!_ ” Sif and the Warriors Three scrambled to obey Odin’s order.

Thor, Loki knew, did not know when to keep his mouth shut. “There won’t _be_ a kingdom to protect if you’re afraid to act. The Jötunn’s must learn to fear me just as they once feared you.”

Loki took a breath to calm himself at Thor’s words. If what he had seen in Jötunheim was true (he knew it was as he could lie to himself only so much) and Thor found out, Loki knew the Thunderer would only see a monster. Loki couldn’t say he would blame him but he at least wanted some time to process this new knowledge of himself in peace. With the way things were going he knew it wasn’t going to happen.

Odin’s voice broke into his thoughts, “That’s pride and vanity talking, not leadership. You’ve forgotten everything I taught you; about a warrior’s patience.”

“While you wait and be patient,” Thor growled, “the Nine Realms laugh at us. The old ways are done and you’d stand giving speeches while Asgard falls.”

What little patience Odin appeared to have had, disappeared. “You are a vain, greedy, cruel boy!” the man yelled.

“And you are an old man and a fool!”

There was a beat of silence while the two stared each other down before Odin seemed to deflate. “Yes,” he said softly, “I was a fool… to think you were ready.”

Loki stepped forward to either intervene or try to be the voice of reason, he wasn’t entirely sure. “Father—”

Odin whirled on him with a growl, shocking Loki to silence. He had seen his father angry before but not like this. Loki reared back from it, not wanting at all to be the center of the Allfather’s ire. Loki trembled, whether from shock or fear or a combination of them both, he was unsure.

Odin looked away from him and returned his focus to his eldest. “Thor. Odinson. You have betrayed the express command of your king. Through your arrogance and stupidity you have opened these peaceful realms and innocent lives to the horror and desolation of war.” He lifted Gungnir and placed it in the control mechanism, lightening shot out, beginning the activation of the Bifröst.

Odin stepped from the dais to Thor, reaching for part of Thor’s armor. “You are unworthy,” he ripped off the left circular plate, “of these realms,” the right, “unworthy of your _title_ ,” finally, the cape, “ _you’re unworthy!_ ”

Thor looked just as shocked and confused as Loki felt. Odin’s expression was a mixture of emotions though sadness and regret fought for dominance.

Odin continued, “…of the loved ones you have betrayed.” Sadness won out as Odin returned to the dais. He held out his hand. “I now take from you; your power,” Mjölnir flew from Thor’s belt to Odin’s outstretched hand. “In the name of my father,” the right side of Thor’s armor fell away, “and his father before,” the left side fell now; Odin’s voice rose as he spoke. “I, Odin Allfather,” lightening from Mjölnir struck Thor as Odin’s voice reached a crescendo, _“cast you out!”_

The rest of Thor’s armor fell away and Loki watched in horror as his brother was thrown, flailing, into the Bifröst. He moved to the Bifröst portal, still trying to believe what he had just seen. The next thing he saw was Mjölnir following her disgraced master. Finally after all was said and done Loki followed silently back to the palace.

* * *

Once inside the palace Loki parted ways with his father. He made his way silently to his rooms where, once inside, he locked the door behind him. Numbly he changed out of his armor and into his everyday clothing. He rubbed at his left hand, half expecting to see that his skin had turned blue.

With a shuttering breath, he fell back against his bed, staring blankly at his ceiling. It had to be a lie, an instinctive reaction to protect himself. Loki knew he was denying the obvious truth but he couldn’t face it. If it was true… If it was true, then that meant he was…

The stories of the horrors brought about by the Frost Giants ran through his head. He shuddered and the fear of them he’d had as a child reared up. They were horrid _barbaric_ creatures who cared nothing for who or what they destroyed. While Loki had been prone to mischief and had played a number of pranks throughout his life, he’d never done anything that brought serious harm, let alone death to his, well, victims. At least, not outside of battle.

Nothing to Loki made sense though. He thought himself Ǽsir. He _was_ Ǽsir, there was no other explanation. There couldn’t be.

Loki mentally shook himself. Laying here brooding would give him no answers, which was something he desperately needed right now. He couldn’t go to his father, not now with Odin in such a foul mood. He could go to his mother but the thought of asking her such a horrid question turned his stomach. He both wanted and did not want an answer. He would ask his father once he had calmed down from his anger at Thor. Then Loki would get his answers.

Rubbing a hand down his face Loki stood. His head swam as he did so and he grabbed onto the bedpost to steady himself. His vision cleared a moment later. What had that been?

Deciding to ignore it for now, he began to pace the breadth of his room. He began to feel clammy the more his thoughts raced. Unable to stand it any longer, he rushed into his washroom to see his reflection. For some reason he was surprised to find nothing had really changed. His cheeks were flushed and he was a bit paler than normal but given what had just recently happened that wasn’t too much of a surprise.

Loki pressed he heals of his hands against his eyes. His head hurt something _fierce_ now. There were too many thoughts swirling in his mind, too many questions and not enough answers. His mind returned to the battle they had fought on Jötunheim, of the absolute _glee_ on Thor’s face as he killed the Giants…

Loki spun and just barely made it to the toilet before he began to vomit. Fear seized his heart once again. Thor could _never_ find out what he was. Thor would kill him! He would take Mjölnir and beat Loki until there was nothing left. Loki had ceased being Thor’s brother; he was nothing but a monster.

What was he going to do? He rinsed out his mouth and gazed once more at his reflection. He would have to pretend everything was normal. Well, as normal as they could be under the circumstances. For the moment, he would head to the common area between his and Thor’s chambers. Sif and the Warriors Three should be back from the healing rooms by now. He would see if Fandral and Volstagg had recovered.

Loki forced his hands to stop shaking because if he was a… He couldn’t even think the word, and he was soon to be heading into a room of warriors who would not hesitate to strike him down for simply being…

_Jötunn._

“No.”

_Frost Giant._

“Shut up.”

_Monster!_

* * *

Night was falling upon Asgard by the time Loki finally made it to the common area. Surprisingly he was the first to arrive though he was not alone for long. Sif stormed in first followed by Hogun and Fandral with Volstagg bringing up the rear. Fandral’s wounded shoulder was healed though apparently still sore as he groaned softly as he sat before the fire. Sif took a seat on one of the long couches and Volstagg took a seat in an oversized chair. Loki watched all of this silently then returned his attention to the view of the setting sun.

The silence reigned among them for a while longer before Volstagg broke it, “We should never have let him go.”

“There was no stopping him,” Sif replied softly.

“At least he’s only banished, not dead,” Fandral added. “Which is where we’d all be if that guard hadn’t told Odin where we’d gone.”

Loki swallowed, looking down at his hand again, turning it over to inspect it. So far, the blue had not returned.

“How did the guard even know?” asked Volstagg.

Loki turned to regard them now. “I told him.”

The others in the room turned surprised expressions towards him. None of them having obviously expected such an admission. “What?” Fandral asked.

Loki mentally sighed. He honestly should not be surprised no one believed him. “I told him to go to Odin after we’d left.” His frustration at the situation filtered into his voice. “He should be flogged for taking so long. We should never have reached Jötunheim.”

“ _You_ told the guard?” exclaimed Volstagg.

Loki picked absently at the skin of his left hand, turning to face them. “I saved our lives… and Thor’s. I had no idea that Father would banish him for what he did.” Which was the truth, not that any of them would believe him.

Sif rose from her seat to stand before him. “Loki,” her voice held a flicker of hope. “You must go to the Allfather and _convince_ him to change his mind.”

Of course she would ask that of him. All they cared for, all _any_ of them cared for, was their golden prince. Loki felt what little patience he’d had run out and his anger rise. “If I do, then what? I love Thor more dearly than any of you but you know what he is. He’s arrogant, he’s reckless; he’s dangerous. You saw how he was today. Is that what Asgard needs from its king?” Done with them all, he left the room before he did or said something he’d regret. He barely made it through the doorway before their voices reached his ears once more.

“He may speak of the good of Asgard,” the loathing in Sif’s voice was palatable, “but he’s _always_ been jealous of Thor.”

Volstagg’s response actually surprised him. “We should be grateful to him, he saved our lives.”

With a shake of his head, Loki continued on. He had other things he had to do, questions he needed answers to. He did not stay to hear the rest of their conversation.

* * *

Though the best course of action would have been to head straight to his father for answers Loki knew that not enough time had passed for Odin’s anger to cool. He was also unsure he would actually get an answer. Not only that, Loki found that he didn’t want to see his father, nor his mother. He felt lost, confused and betrayed. He knew his own anger was soon to follow but at the moment it was still waiting in the shadows.

To consider his actions from a logical perspective would have been the best of Loki’s options yet he found himself abstaining from it. He was running on emotion, something he was usually very good at keeping control of. His entire world had been turned upside down and he didn’t know how to deal with it. The two more prominent questions that circled through his mind were _is it true_ followed by _why didn’t they tell me?_

Without realizing it, Loki found himself standing outside of the entrance to the Vault. The guards were currently on their rove so at present he was alone. That was good because what he now thought to do he didn’t want any witnesses for.

Feeling his stomach twist into knots and his heart speed up further, Loki slowly approached the blue glowing object at the end of the Vault; the Casket of Ancient Winters. A relic Odin had taken with him upon his defeat of the Frost Giants. A war trophy. _Is that what I am as well? A spoil of war?_

He tried to steady his breathing once before the Casket. His hands trembled as he lifted them to grasp the object. As he lifted it off the pedestal he prayed his skin would not change.

Bile rose into his throat as first his fingers, then his hands began to turn blue. He could feel the cursed skin taking over his Æsir form, changing him into a monster.

“Stop!”

Odin’s voice startled him and he was surprised to find that his heart could indeed beat faster.

“Am I cursed?” _Please let that be what it is. Just a curse, something that can be cured._

There was a beat of silence before Odin replied, “No.” He sounded weary.

Loki’s heart sank at the single word. He placed the Casket back on the pedestal. “What am I?”

“You’re my son.” Odin spoke as if that was the only answer he need provide.

Loki turned to face the man he had called father. By now, his entire form had changed to that of the Jötunn scum. Now that he no longer held the Casket he could feel his Æsir form take over once again. “What more than that?” Loki needed answers and Odin was damn well going to give them.

He began to walk towards where his father, _not his father,_ stood on the steps leading into the Vault. “The Casket was not the only thing you took from Jötunheim that day was it?”

Odin was silent until Loki stood at the bottom of the stairs. In a resigned voice he said, “No.” Odin sighed softly. “In the aftermath of the battle I went into the temple and I found a baby. Small, for a Giant’s offspring. Abandoned, suffering, left to die. Laufey’s son.”

As if this day couldn’t get any worse. Not only was he born a monster, he was the offspring of their king. “Laufey’s son…”

“Yes…”

It was too much and what restraint Loki had on his fragile emotions was gone. He was hurt and confused not to mention terrified. It all came out in his voice, tears threatened to fall and he couldn’t _understand any of it!_ “You were knee deep in Jötunn blood. Why would you take me?” _Why didn’t you just kill me?_

“You were an innocent child.”

_There is nothing_ innocent _about them,_ but then he thought about it some more. Odin never did anything without a purpose. Anger began to overpower confusion. His breaths became harsher. “No, you took me for a purpose. What was it?”

Odin stared at him silently. Perhaps he was just now beginning to understand the creature he had brought into his home. None of it helped Loki though. None of this made sense. Why, why, _why?_

_“Tell me!”_ he screamed.

Odin seemed to snap out of his daze. “For a brief moment, I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day. Bring about an alliance; bring about a permanent peace… through you…”

“What?” Loki asked breathlessly.

“But I abandoned those plans long ago.”

The tears that he had held at bay finally fell. “So I’m no more than another _stolen relic._ Locked up here until you might have use of me.”

“Why do you twist my words?” Odin asked with a shake of his head. “That was not at all what I meant.”

“You could have told me what I was from the _beginning_. _Why_ didn’t you?”

“You’re my son. I wanted only to protect you from the truth.”

Loki wanted nothing more than to wake up from this nightmare. He wanted to scream, to cry, to crawl into a hole and never come out. “Wha-? Because I-I-I-I’m the monster parents tell their children about at night?”

“No…” Odin looked as if he was about to speak more but Loki didn’t give him the chance.

Anger surged through him and he watched as Odin seemed to falter. Loki’s voice grew louder the more the spoke. “You know it all makes sense now. Why you favored Thor all these years,” he began to climb the stairs, “because no matter how much you claim to _love me…”_ Odin had fallen back against the stairs and he tried reaching for Loki. _“…you could never have a Frost Giant on the throne of Asgard.”_

“You aren’t a…” Odin gasped. “No, not now,” Odin’s voice was barely above a whisper, “Not now.”

Odin’s hand fell back to his side, his whole body limp. For a moment, Loki stared down at his father, fearing that he had somehow killed him. He leaned down and was relieved to see the rise and fall of the elder man’s chest. He reached a shaky hand towards him, afraid that his cursed skin would harm the unconscious man. Nothing happened when he finally touched Odin’s hand except to affirm that the man was alive.

Heart in his throat Loki called out, “Guards!” They had to be back from their rove by now. The shock that had held Loki still disappeared and he called again. “Guards please help!”

The doors to the Vault opened and two of the Einherjar arrived. Loki stepped back and watched numbly as they attended to his father. One of them ran presumably to get the healers. Loki stood silent and empty as the Allfather was taken away.

* * *

Loki was not aware of how much time had passed before he finally left the Vault. His raging emotions had stilled, leaving him empty once more. Silently he made his way towards the royal chambers though not quite sure exactly where within he was going. He saw Lady Eir and a couple of her assistants leaving his parents room. They nodded to him as they passed and he saw that the door to the room was still open with his mother standing in the doorway. Loki stopped, unsure if he should continue. He had no right to be in her presence.

“Loki?” his mother called. She moved away from the doorway and over to him, her expression full of worry. “Darling, what happened?”

Loki’s eyes fell to the floor. He had lost all privilege to gaze upon her. Though that was not true, he’d never truly had it to begin with. How could she stand to have a creature such as him in her presence? Loki would give anything for this woman to truly be his mother but he knew it would never be. It had been a beautiful lie, one he desperately wished to hold on to.

She deserved an answer though. “I… we…” He swallowed thickly, trying to steady his shaking voice, “we were arguing. He… He uh…”

Frigga placed her hand on his cheek and tilted his chin up until their gazes met. “Your father has fallen into the Odinsleep. Come,” she took his hand and led him to the room where Odin lay.

Once inside and the door closed, he let his gaze move to where Odin lay with the protective glow of the Odinforce over his body. How had it all come to this?

He looked down at where Frigga still had hold of his hand. They were skin to skin and now he had to know. “Did I ever hurt you?”

“What?” she sounded confused and Loki was once more unable to meet her gaze.

“When I was younger,” his voice sounded weak even to his own ears, “did I ever hurt you? Did I ever burn you with my skin?”

“Dearest…” she took a breath and this time both of her hands came up to cup his face. She didn’t speak again until her eyes met his. “No sweetheart. Not once. When did you find out?”

Loki felt tears threaten again. “While on Jötunheim. One of them touched me and I—” He pulled away from her suddenly feeling trapped. “I’m a… I’m a…” His legs gave away and he fell back against the door, sliding to the floor. The true horror of his birth finally hitting him. Shaking hands covered his face. “I’m a monster,” he cried.

“No!” the fabric of long skirts swished to surround his feet. Delicate hands pulled his away from his bloodshot eyes. Frigga’s gaze was fierce, as if she was insulted by his statement. “No Loki, never. Do not _ever_ call yourself that. You are no monster.”

“But I—”

“No son of mine shall be called such a thing, even by himself. Do you hear me?”

“But—”

“No buts.”

Weakly and with a heavy heart Loki said, “I’m not your son.”

Frigga’s expression and voice softened. “Loki, you were mine the moment I laid eyes upon you. When your father placed you into my arms…” she seemed wistful at the memory, “I knew I was never letting you go.”

Loki’s tears finally spilled once more. His lip trembled and when he spoke, his voice was watery, “mama…”

“Oh sweetheart,” Frigga shifted her position to hold Loki to her. He cried into her shoulder taking comfort in her embrace. Her fingers carded through his hair as she gently rocked him. “I may not have carried you within my body but know that no matter how big you get you will always be my baby. I love you.” A shuttering sob escaped him at her words. “I will always love you. Never forget that.”

After a few minutes his cries subsided and Loki felt drained both emotionally and physically. He also felt slightly embarrassed, having lost his composure like that in front of his mother. He pulled away and wiped the last remnants of his tears from his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. His apology felt like it encompassed more than his loss of composure.

Frigga tucked a stray lock of hair behind his ear. “Do not be sorry dearest. I would worry if you’d had no reaction. Though I wish you could have learned the truth more gently than you had.” Leaning in, she placed a kiss to his brow. Pulling back, she stood. “Let’s move to the chairs sweetheart. We can continue talking if you like but the floor is not a comfortable place for it.”

Loki stood and followed his mother over towards the bed. He took the seat to Odin’s right while his mother took her seat upon the opposite side. Reaching out she took her husband’s hand. They were silent for a while as Loki tried to gather his thoughts. There were still so many questions he had yet to ask.

Frigga spoke before he was able to pick which question to start with first. “With your father in the Odinsleep and your brother banished, you will need to take up the mantel of king.”

Loki jerked and stared at her in surprise. Surely, he had misheard her. “What?” he asked.

She turned her gaze away from her husband to look at Loki. “I need to stay with your father. He has fallen deeper than ever before having gone so long between sleeps. Lady Eir said… she said there is a possibility, though slim, that he may not awaken. At least not for some time.”

Loki couldn’t become Asgard’s king. To rule was not something Loki had ever wanted. While he enjoyed the cunningness required of politics, and was good at it, he did not actually have any love for politics at all. He would rather be his own person, not burdened with the responsibility of ruling the Realm. Besides, he was _Jötunn_. Shouldn’t that automatically disqualify him for the throne?

“But… what about Thor? He is the next in line.”

Frigga was already shaking her head. “Even if we were to recall Thor from Midgard he would return as a mortal if he has not yet learned the lesson your father wants him to. With your father asleep, there is no way other than for Thor to become worthy once more or to return his power to him. Even if I were to wield Gungnir I would not have the ability to restore him.”

Loki pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling his headache from earlier grow in strength. “The people of Asgard will never accept me as their king. Moreover I cannot possibly have any legitimate claim to the throne.” He dropped his hand to gaze at her. “Not only am I not of your blood I’m…” He swallowed; he was still unable to say the name of his true race. He tried again, “I’m not even Ǽsir.”

This time when Frigga smiled, it was a smile Loki knew he had used himself many times before. It was a smile that said _I know something you do not._ “Your adoption is well recorded. Your father made sure that should something happen and any were to question it, there would be no doubt of your inheritance. You are, by law, a member of this house and an heir to the throne. Nothing short of us disowning you will change that.”

Loki squashed down the sudden childish urge to get up, stomp his foot and yell _no I’m not_ before storming from the room. He knew it would be pointless to continue arguing with his mother. “I can’t do this.”

“Yes you can.”

She said it with such conviction that Loki felt he had no choice but to believe her. He stood, feeling as if the weight of the Nine Realms was pushing down on his shoulders. With a slight shake of his head and knowing arguing with his mother was a futile effort, he made to leave.

He only made it halfway across the room before the doors to Odin’s chambers opened. Einherjar stood just outside the door in formation. His first thought upon seeing them being, _they know what I am. They’ve come for me._ That was not the case; instead, they bowed to him. The leader of Odin’s Council, Imir, appeared, carrying Gungnir. Silently the man approached Loki and knelt before him, holding the spear to Loki as an offering.

Loki’s brow furrowed in confusion and his eyes flitted between the Councilman’s face and Gungnir. Feeling a lump rising into his throat with bile not too far behind, he turned to look back at his mother. 

“Thor is banished,” she reminded him, her voice rang with authority, “the line of succession falls to you until Odin awakens. Asgard is yours.”

He looked back at the Councilman, unsure if he was actually going to vomit or not. Slowly he took Gungnir. The Councilman stood and backed away slowly.

“Make your father proud.”

Loki turned back to stare at his mother. This was all too sudden. The weight of the Nine Realms falling heavily upon his shoulders. This was a burden he did not want, a burden he wasn’t sure he could even handle. Especially right now, it was too much, too soon.

He opened his mouth as if to speak but panic took his voice. He swallowed hard, trying to find something to say but only knowing his fear was etched across his face.

“Leave us,” his mother commanded.

Distantly Loki heard the shuffling of feet and the clanking of armor as the Councilman and the Einherjar departed. The doors closed behind him with a heavy thud.

His mother stood, moving over to him and taking his face between her hands. “Breathe Loki.”

A rush of air escaped his lungs. Well, that would explain the spots dancing before his vision. He began to shake as his panic took over all other emotions. He felt as though he was going to be sick. “Mother… I can’t… I can’t, I can’t, I can’t—”

“You can and you will,” she said firmly. “Asgard needs a leader. Asgard needs you.”

“Asgard hates me.”

“Loki—”

He cut her off. “It’s true and the people will never accept this. They want Thor as their king if father is unable and I… I am everything a proper warrior is _not_ supposed to be.” Loki felt more tears run down his cheeks. “Everything that is wrong with me makes sense now. I could never be a proper Æsir because I’m not Æsir. I’m not strong, I’m not brave, I don’t run headlong into battle like a warrior is meant to, aiming for a glorious death. I use tricks and cunning instead of strength. I don’t… I’m not… I can’t…”

The look of horror in his mother’s eyes broke something further in Loki. “Loki… my darling _none_ of that is true. There is _nothing_ wrong with you.”

_You’re wrong,_ he thought. Loki was so tired now. He no longer felt as though he had the strength to continue arguing. _Can’t you see how weak I am? Can’t you see that I will never be a proper man, let alone a Prince of Asgard? But I’m not really a Prince of Asgard am I? I’m the Prince of Monsters._

“Perhaps you’re right,” Loki said, having forced his raging emotions into submission. “I’m quite tired after everything… I suppose I should…” he gestured towards the door.

“Of course.” She appeared as though she wanted to continue the topic but she refrained. “If you should need me I will be here with your father.”

Loki nodded and hugged her one more time before taking his leave. As he walked through the silent corridors of the palace, his mind raced. Even with his mother’s assurances, Loki still knew Asgard would never accept him as its king. The whole Realm expected none other than their Golden Son to be their ruler.

Loki also knew there was no way Thor was going to figure out the lesson Odin wanted him to learn, at least not on his own in any decent amount of time. In order for Thor to even begin to understand what was needed of him, he would need some kind of incentive. Loki’s steps slowed to a stop as he realized what he must do. It was not something he wanted but it made the most sense. Odin had taken him for a reason and it seemed as if that purpose was now coming to pass. In order for Thor to become worthy of Mjölnir again he would need to become a hero and for that he would need a villain. Taking a shuttering breath Loki steeled himself. He was born a monster and as much as he did not want to be, he would use that to his advantage. He would have to embrace his monstrosities to bring Asgard’s Golden Son back home.

* * *

Loki had intended to go straight to bed but found himself unable to sleep. He decided that he needed to be productive instead. After changing into his ceremonial garb and donning his helm, Loki made his way to the throne room, his mind abuzz. He had spoken with the Curia Regis shortly after leaving his father’s chambers instead of trying to sleep. Word had been sent to them by his mother informing them of his ascending to the throne until such time as Odin awoke. Which explained why Imir had presented him with Gungnir earlier.

Though no one said anything Loki knew from the looks in many of their eyes, they were not at all happy with this development. Loki wasn’t either if he were being honest. To have to take on the responsibility of king while still trying to deal with this new knowledge of himself was overwhelming. Too many things were coming at him all at once.

Loki walked up the steps leading to Hliðskjálf with his heart trying to make a new home for itself in his throat. Two of the Einherjar flanked either side of the throne and Loki nodded to each of them as he passed. He sat upon the throne and looked out across the empty room. It wouldn’t remain empty for long he knew. Come morning the people of Asgard would arrive to ask favors and for him to fix whatever grievances they came to him with. There were more important things he had to attend to.

The doors to the throne room opened sooner than he expected. He heard the footsteps approaching before he saw the four figures at the top of the steps leading into the room. One arm across their chests, heads bowed they moved forward, Sif spoke as they walked. “Allfather we must speak with you urgently.”

Loki mentality huffed. He was not the least bit surprised the Idiots Four were here.

Once at the top of the stairs they stopped and raised their gazes. All four of them had expressions of shock flit across their faces before schooling their features. Loki shifted in his seat affecting an air of relaxation he did not feel. “My friends…” they were no such thing and never had been.

“Where’s Odin?” Fandral demanded. The four of them descended into the room.

It was time for his act to begin. It was going to be very easy to become the villain in their eyes. All he had to do was simply exist. “Father has fallen into the Odinsleep. Mother fears he may never awaken again.”

They stormed forward as if they could make him cower before them. “We would speak with her,” Sif demanded.

It hit Loki suddenly just how _entitled_ these four thought they were. The liberties they had taken simply because they were friends of Thor was atrocious. They had no right to make such demands of him nor think that as Thor’s friends it gave them the right to order him, or either of his parents around. They had become too comfortable with a station they did not possess.

“She has refused to leave my father’s bedside.” They came to a stop before him. “You can bring your urgent matter to me,” he stood; it was time to strike them with the first blow. He felt a genuine smile form at the thought of delivering the first blow to them. The echoing of Gungnir’s end hitting the floor somehow sounded ominous, “Your king.”

Sif and the Warriors Three shared looks of shock and confusion. Volstagg was the first to take a knee followed by the others.

“My king,” he knew it had to gall Sif to call him that, “we would ask that you end Thor’s banishment.”

He had already known they would ask for exactly that. He remembered what his mother had said and he agreed that even if they were to recall his brother there was no way for either of them to restore Thor’s powers to him. It was better for him to remain on Midgard where he would hopefully learn what he needed to and return once his quest was complete.

Loki looked down, allowing a smirk to form. He began to walk towards them. “My first command cannot be to undo the Allfather’s last. We’re on the brink of war with Jötunheim,” that was no lie and another problem he did not want to deal with. “Our people need a sense of continuity in order to feel safe in these difficult times. All of us must stand together,” he finally stopped before them, “for the good of Asgard.”

Sif stood as if to lunge at him but Fandral and Hogun grabbed her arms to stop her. “Yes, of course,” Fandral said obviously not believing him.

“Good. Then you will wait for my word.”

“If I may,” Volstagg spoke, “beg the indulgence,” here he let out a humorless chuckle, “of your majesty to perhaps reconsider—”

“We’re done,” Loki interrupted. If he didn’t stop them now they would continue to argue for Thor’s return.

They stood and watched him silently for a moment before turning away. Sif glared, hatred for him in her gaze before she too turned away and left the room.

He watched them leave then dismissed the Einherjar. Loki knew it would not be long before Sif and the Warriors would betray him. Their love for Thor far outweighed their loyalty to Asgard. While it was noble of them, it was also going to get them in very serious trouble. Betrayal was not taken lightly and while he really held no love for any of the four, for his brother’s sake he would make sure they came out of this as unscathed as possible.

His current duty done, and with no desire to wait for Asgard’s people to flock into the throne room in the morning, he left. He decided to return to his mother, perhaps during a moment of quiet, he could get the answers he so desperately needed.

Returning to his room once more, he changed again into more comfortable clothing and left his helm and Gungnir behind. When he entered his parent’s chambers once more, he found his mother in the same spot she had been in before he had left. Loki silently took a seat across from her and they remained quiet for a few moments.

“Can’t sleep?” Frigga asked.

Loki shook his head no. “I never get used to seeing him like this,” Loki said in a low voice.

“He’s put it off for so long now,” Frigga reached out and took Odin’s hand, “but I fear…” she trailed off.

Loki knew exactly what she was afraid of. Even though he was angry with Odin and planned to have some serious words with the man, he too was afraid Odin would never again wake. “How long will it last?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Frigga’s voice was just as soft as his. “This time it’s different. We were unprepared.”

Was it because of the argument they’d had before Odin had fallen into the sleep? Had the added stress affected it somehow? They were questions he had no answers too. However… “Why did he lie?”

Frigga looked up at him. “He kept the truth from you so that you would never feel different.”

_Excellent job that,_ he thought. He’d always felt different, never having the lust for battle that Thor had. His use and learning of seiðr was seen as a disgrace. So to, was his love of books over battle. He had been called _Ergi_ many times behind his back and once or twice to his face. He’d _always_ been different. The truth of his birth was just a bigger shame it seemed.

Frigga continued, “You are our son, Loki, and we your family. We mustn’t lose hope that your father will return to us. And your brother.”

“What hope is there for Thor?” Truly, did she believe Thor would learn his lesson on his own? His brother had seen nothing wrong in his actions, only seeing them as just. Thor was arrogant. True it was a trait Loki was guilty of as well on occasion but even he could see when an action was misguided or should not be done.

“There’s always a purpose to everything your father does.”

_Like taking me,_ he thought. _A relic he planned to make into a puppet king of a barren realm of monsters._

Loki leaned away from the bed, a new plan beginning to form. Perhaps he could kill two birds with one stone. Thor needed someone to fight. Speaking of, maybe it was time to take a peek in on his brother, see how he faired. Loki had no doubt that Thor would at least be able to take care of himself on Midgard however what he did not know was the extent of the trouble his brother would cause while there.

“If you will excuse me mother,” Loki stood, “it is late and has been a very long day. There is much I have to do tomorrow.”

“Of course,” Frigga replied with a smile. “Goodnight darling.”

“Goodnight mother.”

In his room with the door firmly locked behind him, Loki collapsed on his bed with neither the will nor energy to change into nightclothes. It was true that the day had been long and both physically and emotionally exhausting Loki feared he would not find sleep. His mind still raced with thoughts of his new plan, or rather, an addition to his current plan.

If there was one thing he and Thor agreed upon it was that the Jötnar were monsters and should be wiped out for the good of the Realms. Loki just might know how to do it with no loss of life to Asgard. Once he had rested a bit he would check on his brother. Surprisingly, sleep took him much quicker than he’d expected.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki puts his plan into motion but, of course, things don't go as smoothly as he would have liked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I've complained about the MCU's inability to maintain decent continuity but as I was going through the _Thor_ movie I never realized before just how terrible it was in that movie. It has Loki going back and forth between the throne room and the Observatory multiple times in seemingly minutes. Um... why?

**_Two_ **

Even though sleep had come quickly, it was not restful. Loki slept fitfully and his dreams were nothing but nightmares. In nearly all of them, he would meet Thor but he was always stuck in the sickeningly blue skin. Thor’s expression would darken and Loki never had the chance to say a word before Thor was upon him. Loki would start awake just as Mjölnir was about to strike.

Loki jerked awake for the final time, covered in sweat. Moonlight shone in through his window, indicating that it was still the middle of the night. His bedsheets were tangled about his legs and Loki somehow felt both hot and cold. He moaned and dropped back to the bed. His whole body ached and there was a terrible burning sensation on his left forearm. Lifting his arm to inspect it, he saw that the skin where the Giant had grabbed him was an angry red. Maybe he had been burnt after all.

He lowered his arm. It didn’t matter if he had been burnt or not. It changed nothing. He was still a monster hiding under a false skin. Once more, Loki had the overwhelming urge to cry.

After what felt like days, though it was only a few minutes, Loki rose, cleaned himself up and decided to finally check on his brother. He would not be going down to Midgard himself. He couldn’t arouse any more suspicion than needed. He sat cross-legged on his bed and closed his eyes. He sent down a projection of himself, making sure to keep it invisible to both Heimdall and any mortals who were around. He did project his attire to something that would be worn on Midgard, just on the very slim chance someone did see him.

Loki followed his brother’s essence and saw him crouching down beside a brunette woman overlooking a compound of some sort. He could sense Mjölnir somewhere within. He wasn’t close enough to hear what Thor and the woman were saying but eventually Thor stood and began to make his way closer. Loki watched as Thor broke the fencing and waited for the guards to come investigate. Thor knocked both men out and continued on.

Suddenly alarms began to blare and more guards came running out. Lighting started to flash and rain came down in sheets. Mjölnir was beginning to react to Thor’s presence.

Thor ran along, a smile on his face, seemingly confident that he would obtain his prize. Loki flashed himself further along, not feeling at all like running after Thor if he didn’t have to.

Knowing Thor’s destination, Loki brought himself to the area where Mjölnir had come to rest. Thor and another man began to fight and they broke though the flimsy walls. Loki could hear the squelching of the mud they were fighting in and he grimaced at the sound.

Thor won, of course, and Loki watched as his brother seemed to swagger towards the hammer. Loki had a bad feeling about how this was going to play out. His suspicion was confirmed as Thor took hold of the handle and Loki watched as his smile faded when the hammer wouldn’t budge. Thor tried again and again and Loki felt his heart sink with his own despair that Thor was still not worthy. Thor bellowed with rage and anguish before falling to kneel before Mjölnir. More of the Midgardian security came and took Thor away.

Loki wiped away a tear he felt run down his cheek. This couldn’t be happening. He didn’t know why he was at all surprised to learn that Thor had yet to learn the lesson Odin wanted him to. He wanted Odin to wake up, wanted Thor to come home so _one_ of them could take away this crippling responsibility he was not ready to handle. He felt sick knowing what he had to do next.

An hour or so passed while the Midgardians secured Thor and Loki waited as patiently as he could for them to leave Thor alone. He couldn’t show himself to Thor and begin talking to him while one of the mortals was present. They would think Thor insane, though Loki wouldn’t rule out brain damage given how many blows to the head Thor had taken over the centuries.

Loki could feel his energy beginning to wane the longer it took. He shook his head in an attempt to clear it. All that did was remind him just how much his head ached.

The man questioning Thor finally left. As the door slid closed behind him, Loki made himself visible to Thor.

“Loki,” Thor said upon seeing him. He sounded relieved.

Loki knew he could not waiver with what he had to do. He schooled his features and hoped his emotions wouldn’t get the better of him.

“What are you doing here?” Thor continued.

“I had to see you,” replied Loki.

Thor began to look alarmed. “What’s happened?” He leaned forward in his chair. “Tell me, is it Jötunheim?”

If only it were that simple.

“Let me explain to father—”

Loki interrupted. “Father is dead.”

It took a moment for Thor to process Loki’s words. _I’m so sorry_ , Loki thought. _I wish it didn’t have to be this way._ There were so many things Loki wished were different.

Thor’s voice shook as he asked, “What?”

Loki worked passed the lump in his throat, hating himself for having to hurt Thor this way. He realized he couldn’t carry out that falsehood. He would have to find another means for Thor to show his heroism.

“Were I as cruel as you, I would continue that lie. Father has fallen into the Odinsleep but mother fears he might never awaken so… it may not end up being a lie after all.

“Your banishment, the threat of a new war… It was too much for him to bear.” He watched as Thor’s world slowly came down around him. A tear ran down Thor’s cheek.

Loki sighed. “It was so cruel to put the hammer within your reach knowing you could never lift it. The burden of the throne has fallen to me now…” A burden he did not want. He shook with barely contained rage, “and…” something inside him broke further, “and I hate you! How dare you place all of this on me?” he cried. “You need to _grow up_ Thor. The Nine Realms do not revolve around you! Once again _I_ have to clean up _your_ mess!”

Thor looked at up at him, a glimmer of hope in his eyes and yet not an ounce of regret. “Can I come home?”

_Oh but I wish you could._ “No, I can’t risk it. Especially if I want to try negotiating a truce with Jötunheim.”

“Yes but… couldn’t we find a way?”

Anger rose in Loki. “Are you even listening to me? It’s not safe Thor. Even if I did bring you home, not only would I be defying father’s order but I have no way of restoring your power. Should the Jötunns attack you would never survive.” Loki took a breath to calm himself, “I’m sorry.”

Thor shook his head. “No, I am sorry.” They were silent for a moment. “Thank you for coming here.”

_Please don’t thank me,_ Loki thought. _Especially since you don’t know what I have to do now._ Aloud he said, “Farewell.”

He turned away from Thor, wishing he had been able to keep the lie going but slightly thankful he hadn’t been. As he disappeared from Thor’s view, he realized it truly was goodbye. He didn’t expect for his plan to end well for him.

Loki returned to the area where Mjölnir rested. He kept himself unseen to the mortals as he approached the hammer. He had to hand it to the mortals; they knew they were dealing with something powerful even if they didn’t truly know what that power was.

Not that he expected anything to happen, Loki made his illusion solid and gripping the handle, tried to lift Mjölnir. The hammer didn’t so much as wiggle. _Of course, you’re not worthy,_ he thought as he tried harder. _I’m a monster,_ he let the hammer go. _I’m unworthy on that basis alone._ His task accomplished he let the projection fade, bringing his focus back to himself in Asgard.

A wave of exhaustion came over him. He fell back against his bed, letting his eyes flutter closed. Sending a projection so far and making it solid so he could interact with the world around him took a lot more energy than he’d realized. It didn’t help that he appeared to be coming down with something. He only needed to continue for a little while longer. Sweat poured off him but he didn’t have the strength to stand, let alone wash up. He could allow himself a few minutes to regain his strength. Just a few… minutes…

* * *

When Loki’s eyes opened again the sun was shining in through his window. He sat up and ran a hand down his face. A few minutes had turned into a few hours. More time than he had planned on wasting. At least he felt better than he had when he had fallen asleep, although the burning in his arm was still there. Loki rubbed sleep from his eyes as he regretfully left his bed. A knock at his door drew his attention. “Yes,” he called.

“Majesty,” a female voice answered. “I have brought you some breakfast.”

Loki’s stomach took that moment to remind him that, yes, food was good and that he was quite hungry. “Enter,” he called as he headed for his washroom. As he went, he caught sight of his reflection. Norns, he looked awful. He was still in the same clothes he had changed into he didn’t know how long ago and he desperately needed a wash. Perhaps he would feel just the tiniest bit better once he’d bathed, changed clothes and eaten. Loki doubted it but he could hope.

After making himself presentable and eating all of his breakfast, he’d been hungrier than he’d thought, he made his way to the throne room where his duties to the Realm awaited him. He would have liked to have visited his mother and seen if there was any change in his father. _But he’s not your father,_ that hateful voice whispered. _He’s your captor. You are nothing but a war prize to him and the only reason you weren’t kept in the Vault is because you are a living being. It was to his entertainment that he pulled at your strings to watch you dance. To shroud you in Æsir skin and see how well he could tame the monster._

Loki shook his head, trying to dispel his thoughts. All throughout the day his thoughts would circle back on themselves. As he held court, spoke with the curia regis and managed the day-to-day running of the Realm, he wondered how many people knew. How many of them knew he did not belong among them and were only humoring him until Thor returned or Odin awoke? Surely if any of them truly knew he would have been executed long ago, wouldn’t he?

Odin’s words came to him, providing a potential answer. _You were an innocent child._ How innocent could he possibly be? The Allfather had to have known what he would grow into some day. Loki himself had no way to know exactly when the monster inside him would rear up and destroy everything. Why hadn’t Odin just _killed him!_

“My king?”

The advisor’s voice broke into Loki’s thoughts. He’d gotten so lost in his own mind that he hadn’t heard a word the man had said. Loki mentally shook himself, shaking his head just the tiniest bit as well and instantly regretting the action as his head swam momentarily. Now was not the time to dwell on the origin of his birth. “My apologies,” he said, “I lost myself in thought. You were saying.”

“About Jötunheim.”

Of course, everything circled back to that dreaded place. It was as if the Norns were purposefully reminding him he was not of Asgard.

“We need to prepare for war,” Councilman Ulr continued.

“I would prefer to try negotiations first,” Loki said. “My brothers actions,” _and mine_ , but that wasn’t something he was admitting to out loud, “has shattered the peace between our two realms. King Laufey may not at present be amenable to negotiations however if cooler heads prevail we may be able to end this with no bloodshed.

“The Jötunns want war!”

“Which was only provoked by Thor’s temper. If he had not marched off to Jötunheim in a rage, we would not be having this discussion. Laufey may be willing to talk peace if we offer to return the Casket of Ancient Winters.”

Almost as if lightening had struck the councilors erupted in objections to his words.

“That is madness—”

“To do that—”

“—only bring death—”

Loki slammed his fist down on the table and yelled, “Enough!”

The room fell silent once more, all eyes focusing fully on him.

“My king,” Chancellor Imir spoke, “forgive me but, you were born at the tail end of the war with Jötunheim. You never saw firsthand the destruction wrought with the Casket. To return it to the Frost Giants only invites them to begin that destruction once more.”

Loki may not have seen it with his own eyes but he did know the extent of the Frost Giants evil. His tutors had taken great delight in describing the war in _great_ detail while he and Thor were growing up. He knew exactly what his monstrous race was capable of.

“That may be so,” he said, “and while I do want the Einherjar to prepare for the _possibility_ of war I would also like to try peace talks first.”

In this Loki would not be swayed. They could call him a coward all the liked, and they would, but if Loki could end this war with no loss to a single Æsir life, all the better. Besides, if Asgard’s armies marched on Jötunheim it would completely mess up his plans. The councilors did not need to know that negotiations would only be a ploy. He’d meant what he’d said about not wanting bloodshed, well Ǽsir bloodshed.

The rest of the councilors reluctantly silenced the remainder of their protests seeing that to continue was futile. Afterwards, the remainder of the meeting turned in to the monotonous day-to-day requirements of running the realm. Finally, around sunset the meeting ended.

Loki skipped his evening meal and leaving both Gungnir and his helm behind made for the Bifröst.

When he arrived, Heimdall watched him with an expression Loki was unable to read. He knew the gatekeeper did not like him. He hoped that for the moment it wouldn’t impede what he had to do.

“I wish to make for Jötunheim,” he said by way of greeting.

“You are still not dressed warmly enough,” Heimdall replied.

“I have no plans to stay longer than I need to.” He moved to the entrance to the Bifröst. “I simply hope to set the groundwork for negotiations.”

He heard Heimdall move followed by the thunk of Hofund being placed within the control mechanism. The Observatory began to spin right before the bridge to Jötunehim opened, taking Loki with it.

* * *

Loki landed with the sound of thunder echoing around him. He took a moment to really look around the desolate realm. _This is where I was born,_ he thought. There was no sign of a sun in the sky. Like the last time he was here, darkness pervaded everything. A fitting place for a race of demons. On the bright side, the cold air felt wonderful on his fevered skin.

He made his way silently to the ruins of what had once been a major city. Loki was actually surprised he had yet to be accosted. Once inside the city, he spotted crimson eyes watching him from the shadows. He had to suppress a shudder as his childhood nightmares played through his mind. Odin’s behavior towards him growing up suddenly made sense. By keeping Loki in Thor’s shadow, it was an unknown reminder to Loki of his origins.

His path remained open all of the way to Laufey’s throne room. He’d barely entered when Laufey said, “Kill him.”

Loki stopped, adopting a look of confusion. “After all I’ve done for you?”

Laufey looked surprised. Loki took a moment to silently study the Jötunn. _This_ was his sire. Loki was glad to note there was no familial resemblance. _Only because you hide behind Æsir skin,_ the dark voice inside him said, _underneath that, you look every bit this creature’s offspring._

_Shut up!_

The voice cackled, _no._

Laufey’s voice broke into his thoughts. “So you’re the one who showed us the way into Asgard.”

“It was just a bit of fun really.” This was the truth. The best lies are built on truth, he reminded himself. “To ruin my brother’s _big day._ And to protect the realm from his idiotic rule for a while longer.”

He’d been trying for years to tell Odin that Thor wasn’t ready but the old man wouldn’t listen. Loki had felt that only something drastic would open his eyes, or well, eye.

“I will hear you.”

Loki paced back and forth before Laufey, mindful of the other Jötunn surrounding him. It was time to truly play the villain. He’d hidden himself from Heimdall’s sight the moment he’d landed. Loki hoped the gatekeeper’s suspicions of him were raised.

“I will conceal you and a handful of your soldiers. Lead you into Odin’s chambers and you can _slay_ him where he lies.”

_Not that you will make it that far,_ Loki thought.

“Why not kill him yourself?”

Loki scoffed, _just take the damn bait._ “I suspect that the Asgardians would not take kindly to a king who had murdered his predecessor. Once Odin is dead I will return the Casket to you…”

Laufey suddenly rose from his throne. Ah, the right buttons had finally been pushed.

Loki continued, “…and you can return Jötunheim to all it ah…” he glanced at his surroundings, “glory.”

“I accept.”

“Shall we get started then?”

They discussed the terms and made their plans. Laufey would pick his soldiers and he and Loki worked out when to activate the Bifröst. Loki took his leave and made his way back to the Bifröst site. When he was close enough he dropped the spell hiding him. He called to Heimdall to return to Asgard.

The golden walls of the Observatory surrounded him upon his arrival. Though Heimdall’s expression seldom changed, Loki thought he saw suspicion in those golden eyes. _Good._ “What troubles you gatekeeper?”

“I turned my gaze upon you in Jötunheim but could neither see you nor hear you. You were shrouded from me like the Frost Giants that entered this realm.”

“Perhaps your senses have weakened after your many years of service,” Loki replied as he moved away from the portal.

“Or perhaps someone has found a way to hide that which he does not wish me to see.”

It was a bit startling how quickly people were to assume the worst of him. It did make things easier for Loki though. Loki was falling into his place as the villain and he knew Heimdall would help Thor’s friends bring the fallen prince home. Thor would be the hero and everything would return to the way it should be.

_And you’ll be dead,_ that damnable voice whispered. _Do not think for a moment you will survive this. All of Asgard will call for your head._

_Shut up!_

“You have great power Heimdall.” Loki walked around the raised dais, forcibly ignoring his inner voice. “Did Odin ever fear you?”

“No.”

Loki stopped, “And why is that.”

“Because he is my king and I am sworn to obey him.”

The gatekeeper’s statement only reminded Loki of something he already knew. None in Asgard would ever be loyal to him. Though he was king in both Odin and Thor’s absence, the people only tolerated Loki until one of the others returned.

Loki felt a sudden flash of anger. “He was your king and you are sworn to obey me now. Yes?”

There was silence between the two and Loki could definitely see anger in the other man’s eyes before Heimdall replied, “Yes.”

“Then you will open the Bifröst to no one,” Loki made for the exit, “until I have repaired the damage that my brother has done.”

_Even when you_ try _to do good, the people will only ever see your actions as evil._

_I said shut up!_

Upon his return to the palace Loki was approached by some of the councilors with last minute business which the king simply _must_ attend to. Loki mentally rolled his eyes. Seeing no other way out of the situation and knowing he did need a way to pass some time he followed.

Loki completely regretted his decision two hours later and left the chamber with a splitting headache. Laufey and his soldiers were due to arrive in the early morning. Things were not going the way he’d hoped.

Loki had thought he’d placed enough suspicion upon himself to have at least someone act against him.

_They’re all morons,_ he thought as he went out onto the wide balcony overlooking Asgard. From this viewpoint, he had a clear view of the Bifröst Observatory.

Loki took a moment to appreciate the view and leaned against Gungnir. Asgard truly was beautiful. The complete opposite of Jötunheim.

Loki blinked heavily. He’d had to use a glamour throughout the day to hide the symptoms of whatever illness he appeared to be coming down with. Earlier, when he could no longer ignore the pain in his arm he had inspected the wound only to find that the skin had gone from angry red to cobalt blue and it was spreading. Loki feared when the time would come that he couldn’t hide it any longer.

A flash of light caught his eye. _Finally._

Loki turned from the balcony and headed back inside. Next he would need to distract Heimdall long enough to bring Laufey and his men to Asgard. Loki knew he no longer had the strength to teleport them here on his own. He had to do this before Thor returned.

Loki froze in his tracks at the thought of his brother, ( _not brother_ ) and fear overtook him once more. In his mind, he could only see Thor’s angered gaze followed by the gleeful bloodlust as Thor beat him to death. _He’s going to kill me,_ Loki realized. Once Thor returned with his power intact and learned what Loki was the thunderer wouldn’t hesitate. Loki came to another realization, _I don’t want to die._

Turning in his heel, he proceeded to the Vault. He had to modify his plans a bit.

Loki stopped in front of the Casket, Gungnir thudding loudly on the floor. The wall behind the pedestal retracted, revealing the Destroyer.

The Destroyer walked towards him. “Be sure my brother does not return.” There would be no going back now. _Forgive me but I don’t want to die, not yet._ “Destroy everything.”

He watched the Destroyer leave the Vault. Turning he laid eyes on the Casket. With a wave of his hand, the Casket disappeared.

“Dammit,” Loki muttered. There was no way the Destroyer was going to get to Midgard on its own. He would have to send it himself. He would also have to do something drastic to prevent Heimdall from interfering. His stomach turned knowing what he had to do. He took a breath to try to quell his nausea. _There is no going back_ , he reminded himself. The monster within would truly be revealed.

* * *

Loki made his way back to the Observatory and found Heimdall was standing, sword held before him, right before the entrance.

“Tell me Loki, how did you get the Jötunns into Asgard?” the gatekeeper asked.

Ah, finally someone was using their brain!

“You think the Bifröst is the only way in or out of this realm?” Which to be honest was something they should have figured out long ago. Loki had been using the secret paths for centuries. “There are secret paths between the worlds to which even you with all your gifts are blind, but I have need of them no longer. Now that I am king,” his anger was beginning to bubble over, “and I say for your act of treason,” he wasn’t talking about letting Sif and the Warriors get to Midgard, “you are relieved of your duties as gatekeeper and no longer a citizen of Asgard.”

Loki could see anger plainly in the gatekeeper’s eyes.

“Then I need no longer obey you.”

Heimdall began to swing his sword to strike Loki down at the same time Loki called the Casket to him. In his hands, the Casket released a burst of ice at Heimdall, slowly freezing the man.

Loki could feel his Æsir form begin to fade due to the power of the Casket, revealing the monster underneath. Heimdall’s sword stopped just short of taking Loki’s head off. The fury of the blizzard abated and Loki sent the Casket away. His form remained that of the Jötunn and he could see that Heimdall remained conscious long enough to see it.

Loki’s vision suddenly returned to him and he found himself crumpled on the rainbow bridge. He’d passed out? For how long? His breaths were coming in short gasps. A cold sweat had broken out all over him and he let out a whine at the pain in his arm. He felt that he had returned to the form most familiar to him. He heard the thud of the Destroyer as it crossed the rainbow bridge and turned bleary eyes on it.

Using Gungnir he pulled himself to standing then opened the way to Midgard and watched the Destroyer depart. Loki teleported himself back to the palace so he could watch events unfold from Hliðskjálf. He collapsed upon the throne and watched through the Destroyers “eyes”. It was daylight at that location on Midgard and there were several black vehicles surrounding the Bifröst site. Loki could see several men in black suits studying the scene. Some had weapons drawn.

He could see two men stand from behind the closest vehicle and converse for a moment. The one with sunglasses was handed a megaphone and moved around the vehicle. _“Hello. You are using unregistered weapons technology. Identify yourself.”_

Even if Loki had been willing to answer, he could not. The Destroyer had not been built with the ability to speak. He felt power begin to build up within the Destroyer. He saw the mortals scramble back just before the Destroyer blew up one of the vehicles. It continued it’s attack then headed for the settlement in the distance. Loki hoped that no one had been too seriously injured. He knew he’d told the Destroyer to destroy everything but that had been more for the benefit of Heimdall than anything. He’d killed before, yes, but cold blooded murder wasn’t something he liked.

The longer Loki maintained the link between himself and the Destroyer, the dizzier he became. The link broke when Loki’s eyes rolled back in his head and his world went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Comments and kudos always welcome. See you soon.


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's ailment continues to worsen, Jötunheim must be destroyed and Thor returns. Loki just wants everything to _stop_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm probably shooting myself in the foot by posting these chapters so close together but I don't feel like waiting any longer. I have up through six completed (minus re-reads and editing) so... Depending on how these next chapters go will determine how quickly I update after that. I do know where I'm going with this story, I just have to get there. Now the real question will be, will the characters nicely work our way from point A to point B or are they going to take the scenic route like they did with Kansas? This is also the last chapter where we're in the "Thor" movie. After this, whole new territory!

**_Three_ **

Loki found himself sprawled uncomfortably across the throne. His head hurt, his body ached and the burning had moved from along his forearm to across his chest and shoulders. He looked at his left hand and was shocked to find the skin had darkened to an almost indigo color. The lines along the back of his hand appeared nearly white by contrast. He manifested a pair of gloves to hide the discoloration and had to take a moment to quell his rising panic.

Loki gripped the arms of the throne when his vision changed again. Instead of the throne room, he saw Thor stepping towards him, grabbed in Midgardian clothing, his expression a cross between confused and sad. In Loki’s peripheral vision, he could see damaged and destroyed buildings. Vehicles lay overturned in the road and smoke filled the air. When had all of that happened? How long had Loki blacked out for.

Whatever was wrong with him was escalating. He needed to be quick if he was going to see through the rest of his plan. He turned his focus back to Thor. Why wasn’t he fighting? Surely protecting the mortals would make him worthy of Mjölnir once more.

_Maybe he needs a real monster to fight,_ he thought. _If I fought him as a… surely, that would make him worthy._ Loki shuddered, both out of fear at the thought of Thor finding out the truth of his origins and the chills that were wracking his body. _Make up my mind_ , he thought in frustration. _Hot or cold. Pick one!_

The Destroyer and Thor slowly walked towards one another. It took Loki a moment to realize Thor was speaking.

_“Brother, whatever I have done to wrong you…”_

Loki couldn’t help but scoff. _Now_ Thor was apologizing to him and the imbecile didn’t even know what he was apologizing _for._ Loki damn near had a _list_ but… Loki’s brow furrowed in confusion. Was one supposed to apologize to a monster? Didn’t he deserve every torment he had received as a child due to that? He wasn’t Æsir, only playing at being one.

_I wish I was,_ he thought mournfully. _Maybe then, I could have become what everyone wanted me to be. I could have been a proper warrior, someone to make the House of Odin proud. Someone worthy of being a Prince of Asgard, not a monstrous ergi._

Loki shook his head, now was not the time for those thoughts. He had things to do and shaking his head had been a _bad_ idea. He became so lightheaded that he feared he would faint again. That was the last thing he needed.

_“…whatever I have done to lead you to do this, I am truly sorry…”_

Loki pressed his good hand to his mouth in an attempt to quell his sudden nausea. Thor thought he was to blame for Loki’s being a monster? _He doesn’t know yet but when he does…_

_“…but these people are innocent. Taking their lives will gain you nothing.”_ The two figures finally came to a stop before one another. _“So take mine and end this.”_

People had died? Loki hadn’t sent the Destroyer to take Midgardian lives. He’d sent it to prevent Thor’s return until after Loki had completed his plan while also providing Thor a means of being “heroic” so as to regain his powers.

The Destroyer powered down its weapon. He would have to find another way for Thor to learn his lesson.

_He’ll kill you once he returns. He promised to hunt down all of the monsters and slay them. You’re_ one _of them._

Loki’s heart sped up as his panic rose at the thought of Thor returning to Asgard with his powers intact. _I don’t want to die_ , Loki thought, his terrified breaths becoming harsh. _He’ll kill me, he’ll kill me,_ no!

Through the vision and sound provided by the Destroyer Loki heard the sickening crunch of bones breaking and saw Thor flying through the air. Thor should have taken that blow easily, why… then he remembered, Thor was _mortal._

Time seemed to slow for Loki. _No!_ his mind cried. Tears blurred his vision. _No, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it!_

Thor landed and skidded across the dirt road. He didn’t move.

_You killed him; you’ve murdered your brother._

Loki could take no more. He broke the link with the Destroyer. _I really am a monster._

Loki fled the throne room, fighting against the pain in his body and the pain in his heart. He had just killed the only brother he had ever known. He only needed a little longer then Asgard could have him. Loki didn’t want to die but after what he had just done, he deserved to.

He made his way painfully back to the Observatory, hiding any signs of illness behind a glamour. That didn’t take too much of his energy nor did it seem to make his symptoms worse. He was thankful for that. He just wanted everything to be _done._ After it was all over, he wanted to sleep for the next decade.

Loki stood upon the dais as Laufey and one of his minions exited the portal. He greeted them then led them past Heimdall’s frozen body towards the palace. For a brief moment, Loki wondered if the Giants recognized the magic of the Casket. It didn’t matter, they would be dead soon anyway.

They made their way silently down the palace hallways, Loki leaving them once they were close enough to Odin’s room. If the lack of Einherjar seemed at all suspicious to the Jötunn, they didn’t remark on it.

Loki watched invisibility, which took far more energy than he was expecting, as they froze the door then broke inside. Fear seized his heart when he saw Frigga. He’d forgotten she would be there. _How_ had he forgotten that?

Queen Frigga was a very capable warrior in her own right. She felled the first Giant to reach her, however Laufey easily batted her aside. Loki felt anger override fear. How dare Laufey harm his mother!

_She’s not your mother,_ the voice sing-songed. _She was never your mother. You owe her nothing._

_Yes she is! I do! I…_ Loki felt like he was going crazy. _What are you? Shut up! Get out of my head!_

Laufey’s gait was one of triumph as he made his way to the bed where Odin lay prone. The Jötunn crawled onto the bed and sat upon Odin’s stomach. With one hand, he opened Odin’s single eye. Loki was surprised to find the Giant’s touch wasn’t burning. Laufey’s raspy voice held a note of victory when he spoke.

“It’s said you can still hear and see what transpires around you. I hope it’s true, so that you may know, your death came at the hand,” Laufey formed an ice dagger and raised it high, “of Laufey.”

Loki raised Gungnir and shot a blast of energy at the Jötunn sending him flying across the room. Loki lowered the spear and used it to keep himself steady. “And your death came by the son of Odin.” Laufey stared at him in disbelief, gasping for breath. This… this was the monster who had abandoned him to die as an infant. Rage twisted Loki’s features and he raised Gungnir once again then blew Laufey’s head off.

The Jötunn king’s death didn’t feel as satisfying as he thought it would.

“Loki.”

Loki turned and saw his mother pulling herself off the floor. He rushed over to her at the same time she ran to him.

“You saved him,” she continued, throwing her arms around him in a hug. Loki allowed himself to take comfort in her embrace. He grimaced slightly. _You shouldn’t be thanking me,_ he thought, _I killed your real son. You should hate me._

There was only one last piece to his plan he needed to complete. He would enjoy his own last illusion for a little bit longer. “I swear to you, mother, that they will pay for what they’ve done today.”

Loki staggered and alarm flashed across her face. Her hand pressed against the area of his cheek that wasn’t covered by his helm. “Dear Norns, Loki what happened? What is this?”

Loki wasn’t entirely sure what she was talking about but he did know the burning sensation he’d felt since Jötunheim had begun to move up his neck now. He quickly recast his glamour. “It’s nothing, I’m fine.”

“You need a healer.”

Perhaps, once this was all over. “No, I—”

“Loki!”

Loki and Frigga both turned to see Thor standing in the doorway, Mjölnir in hand. Loki felt a mixture of emotions. He was elated that Thor was alive but also terrified of that exact same thing. _He knows. He knows what I am. He’s here to kill me!_

“Thor!” Frigga gasped. She rushed towards him. “I knew you’d return to us.” She embraced him but Thor’s angry gaze never left Loki. Frigga pulled back, “Quickly, your brother needs—”

Thor stepped past her and further into the room. “Why don’t you tell her that you sent the Destroyer to kill our friends, to kill me?”

“What?” Frigga asked in shocked confusion.

_They’re not my friends,_ Loki thought, backing away and putting Odin’s bed between Thor and himself. Thor jumping to such a conclusion only helped to reinforce the image of the villain that Loki was trying to portray. _That isn’t really why I sent it._

Instead, Loki said, “Why I had been enforcing father’s last command.”

“You’re a talented liar, brother, always have been.”

Contrary to popular belief, Loki spoke the truth more often than not. However when those truths were not what anyone wanted to hear, they called them lies and did everything they could to prove it. Not to say that Loki couldn’t spin a good lie, it was just most of the time he didn’t have to.

“It’s good to have you back.” Loki meant those words, not that Thor or anyone would believe him. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to destroy Jötunheim.”

Loki sent a blast from Gungnir at Thor, not powerful enough to harm him but just enough to give Loki time to make his escape. He glanced one last time at the two he had once called his parents then teleported away.

Normally when Loki teleported it was smooth, this time he tumbled out of the ether with a cry. His whole body was alight with pain. Gungnir fell to the ground with a clang and Loki had to take a moment to keep from passing out. He pulled his helm off, his sweat soaked locks sticking to his head. Some of the strands had begun to twist back into their natural curls.

Loki stumbled to his feet and saw Hofund lying on the stairs to the dais. Somehow, he managed to pick up the sword and place it in the control mechanism. The Observatory spun as it powered up. Loki called forth the Casket and set it with the mechanism just as the Bifröst opened on Jötunheim. Loki stepped back as lightning and ice encased the controls. With the added power of the Casket, there would be no way to turn the Bifröst off; at least not until after the Realm of Monsters was gone for good.

He allowed himself to smile as his legs gave out and he crumpled to the ground. The monsters would die and no Æsir life would be lost. _I did it_ , he thought as spots danced across his vision. _I saved Asgard._ That was his last thought before the darkness took him once more.

* * *

Someone was shaking him and it only caused the pain in his body to flare. He felt terribly lightheaded and if he hadn’t already been on the ground, Loki was certain he would have fallen over. He blinked bleary eyes open and at first, he couldn’t make out the form over him. He squinted his eyes until Thor’s form became a little less fuzzy.

“Loki, enough of your tricks! Shut it off!”

Loki winced at the loudness of Thor’s voice. “You can’t stop it” he slurred, “the Bifröst will build until it rips Jötunheim apart.”

Loki let out a cry as he was wrenched upwards. “Why would you do this?”

_To prove to father, to everyone, that I am a worthy son._ Aloud he said, “Because they’re monsters.”

“You can’t kill an entire race!”

Loki was confused and _so_ tired. Tears blurred his vision again. “Why not? It was what you were going to do not three days ago.”

“I’ve changed.”

Loki laughed and that turned into a terrible coughing fit. His eyes drooped and he let out another weak cry when Thor shook him. The burning sensation had spread across the entirety of the left side of his body. It felt as though someone was stabbing him in the eye.

“In three days?” he asked when he could speak again. “Unlikely.” _Not when I’ve spent decades trying to get you to see how self-centered you are._

“How do I shut it off?” Thor yelled.

“You can’t.” Loki turned his gaze towards the control mechanism. The ice had followed the path created by the lightning. It was rather stunning. He was surprised that something created by monsters could make something so beautiful.

Thor let him go and Loki fell back to the floor. He managed to at least sit up even if he knew he did not have the strength to stand. “Why does it matter?” he asked, truly confused. “I’m stopping the war you started and not a single Asgardian will die.”

Thor circled the mechanism, still trying to find a way to turn it off. “And what happens after Jötunheim is no more?” Thor asked as he moved. “The Bifröst can’t remain open indefinitely.”

Loki… hadn’t thought of that. His plan had only gone as far as destroying the monsters. For once, the oaf had a point; the Bifröst couldn’t stay on forever. His eyes fell on the control mechanism again. The Casket of Ancient Winters was what was supplying the Bifröst with its excess power. If the Casket were to be removed then it may be possible to shut everything off. Except now, the Casket was buried underneath a sheet of ice and Loki didn’t have the strength to retrieve it.

Gungnir was close by and Loki reached for it to try to use it to stand. Thor misinterpreted his actions and kicked the spear out of his reach. Thor harshly pulled Loki to his feet and the action caused Loki’s vision to white out from the pain. Loki weakly grabbed at Thor’s arm. “Thor…”

Thor shoved him towards the dais only for Loki to stumble and fall to his knees again. “Use your tricks and _shut it off!_ ”

“I-I can’t.”

“Stop lying!”

“I’m not…” he mumbled. This close to the Casket he could feel the cold that radiated out from it. A wave of cold washed over him and for a moment the pain and burning went away.

“What… what trickery is this?”

Loki lifted his head and felt his heart skip at the look on Thor’s face. Thor’s expression went from shock, to horror and finally settled on rage. He brought Mjölnir to bear.

“Answer me,” Thor demanded. “Who are you and what have you done to my brother?”

“I…” Loki caught sight of his reflection in the golden floor. The whole left side of his face had turned blue and his left eye was crimson. _No! No, no, no!_ He tried to scramble away from Thor. _He’s going to kill me!_

Thor stalked towards Loki. “Answer me monster!”

Loki cried out in fright, a scream caught in his throat when he tumbled from the dais. Knowing there was no escaping Thor, Loki curled in on himself, trying to make himself smaller. It was a futile gesture, nothing he did would save him from Thor’s wrath. “Please, don’t hurt me.”

“Where is my brother!”

Another voice rang out, drawing their attention. “Thor, stop!”

Loki peeked from beneath his arm and saw both Odin and Frigga in the entrance to the Observatory. Frigga rushed over to him while Odin made his way to the dais. Odin retrieved Gungnir and made a gesture with his free hand. The ice surrounding the control mechanism began to crack. The ice fell away allowing the Casket to be retrieved and the Bifröst shut down.

Loki whimpered when a hand touched his shoulder and he tried to curl up further.

“Mother,” Thor said, “stand aside. That’s not Loki.”

“Yes it is,” she replied sharply. Her tone softened, “Loki, dearheart,” she coaxed his arm away from his face and she gasped when she saw him.

Loki felt his eyes water and he was unable to keep himself from crying. “It hurts mama.”

“What are you talking about?” Thor cut in. “Loki isn’t Jötunn.”

“We will discuss this later,” Odin said. He made his way over and to Loki; he appeared on the verge of falling back into the Odinsleep. “We need to get him to the healers.”

Frigga nodded in agreement. “Can you stand?”

Loki shook his head no. His chest and throat felt tight. He could hear his breaths raddling in his chest. Everything hurt and he was so hot and tired. _I’m dying,_ he thought.

“Thor, return to the palace and inform Lady Eir that Loki is ill,” Odin ordered.

Thor went to protest, “What?”

“Do as I say boy,” Odin barked. “I have no time for your bullheadedness! _Go!_ ”

Thor appeared uncertain but given that he had only recently been on the receiving end of Odin’s wrath, decided it was better to listen. Thor left the Observatory and some of the tension left Loki’s body. “Don’t let him kill me,” Loki pled.

“Thor would never…” Frigga began but trailed off. She shared a despairing look with her husband. Her fingers ran through Loki’s sweat soaked hair in a comforting manner.

Loki’s eyes became heavy and he tried to fight to keep them open but… he had no energy left and now that Thor wasn’t there to kill him, Loki found himself once again feeling the full force of the pain he had been momentarily distracted from. His eyes finally fell closed and he surrendered himself to the darkness.

* * *

Frigga’s heart leapt into her throat when Loki went limp. “Loki.”

Odin knelt beside her and lay a hand on their son’s cheek. “He’s passed out.”

She turned to her husband. “How are we going to get him back to the palace?” She heard a whinny and remembered that Sleipnir stood just outside the Observatory. “Neither of us can lift Loki on our own.”

Odin stood, “Give me a moment,” and left the Observatory.

Frigga turned back to her son. The discolored skin she had seen on his neck earlier had spread to cover the left side of his face. Her heart broke seeing her baby in such pain. The scene they had come upon was not one she would forget anytime soon. Thor really had looked as though he was going to kill his brother. Loki had been terrified.

Odin returned, “Help me lift him.”

As gently as they could, they pulled Loki from the floor. Their son let out a painful moan at the movement and Frigga’s heart broke further. Somehow, they managed to maneuver Loki outside. There Frigga saw that Sleipnir had lowered himself to make mounting him easier. They helped Loki onto the saddle.

“Can you ride with him?” Frigga asked, “Sleipnir will obey you easier than me.”

While her husband was awake, she feared his forcing himself from the Odinsleep would not last. She could see him gathering his reserves before he climbed behind their son. Odin adjusted Loki as gently as he could. When Sleipnir stood, it was much smoother than she had expected. It was almost as though the horse was trying not to jostle Loki.

Loki’s head lolled against Odin’s shoulder. His face scrunched up and he let out another painful cry. Whatever was afflicting her baby was causing him so much pain.

Odin took up the reins and clucked his tongue, Sleipnir turned and they began the ride back to the palace. She knew the ride was going to be torture for Loki.

Frigga gathered her skirts and ran back down the Bifröst. Queen of Asgard she may be but, decorum be damned, she was a mother first and her son needed her. Once more, she wished she had Loki’s ability to teleport but that was not a skill she had been able to master.

It felt as though it took Frigga an eternity to reach the palace. Sweat had formed in some very uncomfortable places and she could feel some of it run down her back. She cared not for any of that as she rushed down the hallways. “Move!” she ordered, pushing past Thor’s friends.

“My queen, wait,” Sif called.

Frigga never paused, “I don’t have time,” she called over her shoulder.

Frigga could hear them following after her. “Is it true?” Sif asked, though her tone sounded almost like a demand. “Is it true Loki is not of Asgard?”

That stopped Frigga in her tracks. She spun to face the shieldmaiden. There was almost a look of triumph on the young woman’s face. Volstagg and Frandral kept their gazes lowered but Hogun appeared to mirror Sif’s expression.

“No,” Frigga answered harshly, “it’s not true.” She did not have time to waste. Frigga turned and continued her frantic run to the healing halls.

Again, she could hear the others following after her. She found both her husband and son standing outside one of the rooms. “Where is he?”

“Lady Eir has him in her care,” Odin replied. “She requested we wait out here while they stabilize Loki.”

“Does she have any idea what is afflicting him?”

“Not yet.”

“Mother,” Thor said, “how is Loki—”

Frigga slapped Thor across the face, hard. “You do _not_ speak until I say you can. How dare you, how dare you even try to say Loki is not of Asgard!”

Thor flinched, his cheek turning red from her blow. “I said no such thing.”

“Then why did Sif just ask me that question?”

Thor’s eyes glanced at the people standing behind her. “I never said Loki wasn’t of Asgard, I only remarked that he appeared to be taking on the appearance of a Front Giant.”

“Loki is a shapeshifter,” Fandral piped up softly. He seemed to deflate under everyone’s sudden scrutiny, “just saying.”

“Maybe he picked up an illness while we were there,” Volstagg suggested.

“But the Æsir can’t be afflicted by anything harmful to the monsters,” Sif argued.

Frigga’s hackles rose. _No one_ called her son a monster! _Ever!_

“That isn’t entirely true,” Odin said. “There are a number of shared diseases that can afflict every race within the Nine. Also the races aren’t as… pure as you may think. There was a time not so long ago when relations between the Æsir and Jötnar were _much_ closer. I would be surprised if you did not carry traces of Jötnar in your blood.”

Sif reared back as though she had been struck. “I carry no trace of that barbaric race in my veins,” she growled.

Frigga had half a mind to slap the shieldmaiden as well. She scoffed, Odin’s own mother was a Giantess yet that knowledge seemed to have been conveniently forgotten.

The doors to the healing hall opened before any more could be said. Lady Eir stepped through them. “Majesties, Prince Loki is stable for now, however…” Her gaze swept across all those gathered. “You may see him now if you like but I need to warn you that his condition has progressed.” As they headed inside Lady Eir stopped, “Only the king and queen. The rest of you will remain out here.”

Frigga stepped inside the room before she could hear the others protest. Once her eyes fell upon her youngest she couldn’t stop the cry of despair she let out.

Loki lay within the Soul Forge, his vitals displayed above him and a mask covered his mouth and nose to help him breathe. He had been stripped of his armor, a small cloth draped over his groin to preserve his modesty but that wasn’t what had made her heart sink and her eyes to tear. All but the lower portions of his right arm and leg along with a small patch around his right eye had turned blue. It wasn’t even the blue a healthy Jötunn had, he was almost purple in his fever. On his left arm, Frigga could have sworn was a handprint.

“Do you know what ails him?” Odin asked as he came up beside her.

Lady Eir moved to the other side of the bed. “He suffers from Jövannkopper.”

“Jövannkopper?” Odin asked in surprise. “Isn’t that a childhood ailment?”

“It is,” Lady Eir nodded, “however since Prince Loki did not grow up on Jötunheim he was never exposed to it before now.”

“I thought Jövannkopper was a mild fever and an annoyingly itchy rash.”

“In children, yes, but in adults it can be deadly. Had he contracted this as a child there would be little cause for concern and it would pass in a week or two. His body is trying to fight the infection and his seiðr is helping to slow the progression of the virus but… The infection is causing his joints to swell and fluid to build up in his lungs. There are also signs of encephalitis.”

“What is that?” Frigga asked.

“Swelling in the brain. I have administered medications to help with his pain and swelling however if his brain continues to swell we may need to consider trephination.”

Both she and Odin gasped. The thought of… she couldn’t stop her shudder. “Is there nothing else that can be done?”

“There is one thing that might help alleviate his symptoms. If we could obtain some Winter Root, more specifically, the flower that blooms on it, that has been known to help treat adults with Jövonnkopper. The problem is it only exists on Jötunheim.”

She shared a look with her husband. Their son needed a treatment they did not have access to. Trade wasn’t even an option either as Jötunheim had isolated itself from the other realms after the end of the war. How were they ever going to find Winter Root?

Odin must have read something in her expression. “Loki is strong; he will pull through this, one way or another. You stay with him; I will see what I can do to procure some Winter Root.”

Frigga embraced her husband then pulled up a chair alongside Loki’s bed to begin her long vigil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, according to Google translate "vannkopper" is Norwegian for chicken pox. I threw the "Jö" at the beginning and, bam, Jövannkopper. Yes, Loki basically has Jötunn chicken pox. Actually it would be more like shingles since it's a rash. I chose that for a reason, one: it was easy and two: chicken pox can be deadly for adults who never had it as kids. Loki's symptoms are what I was able to find when researching chicken pox in adults.
> 
> More random facts: encephalitis is swelling of the brain and trephination, or trepanning, is an ancient medical procedure where a whole was drilled into the skull to relieve pressure.
> 
> I had Loki teleport to the Observatory instead of riding a horse like he did in the movie because it made more sense. Seriously, in the movie he blasts Thor from the room then goes to the stables, saddles a horse and somehow manages to beat Thor there? Oh, and he also set the Bifröst on Jötunheim before Thor showed up to boot. Come on Marvel! Say it with me, "continuity".


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki continues to fight his illness. Frigga feels helpless as he falls further and further into depression.

**_Four_ **

Loki felt something cool brush across his forehead. His whole body ached but not as fiercely as it had before. He tried to remember where he was or what he had been doing but for the life of him, he couldn’t. Wasn’t there something he had to do?

Loki’s eyes fluttered and he immediately squeezed them shut at the bright light that assaulted his eyes.

“Oh, just a moment,” he heard someone whisper. The brightness behind his eyes dimmed. “Is that better?”

Loki carefully opened his eyes again and found the lights had been dimmed significantly. “Yes,” he sounded terrible.

A hand brushed through his hair. “Good. How are you feeling?”

Loki turned his head to the side to see his mother sitting beside him. Her fingers continued to card through his hair. “Tired,” Loki replied hoarsely. He tried to work some saliva in his mouth. His mother retrieved a glass then helped him to sit up enough to drink. The cool water felt wonderful on his dry tongue and throat. “My arm burns.”

“I know. Lady Eir is looking for something to help with that. Do you remember what happened?”

Loki’s memory was a bit hazy. He recalled Thor being banished, his father falling into the Odinsleep and him being forced to take on the mantle of king. At the moment, he didn’t recall anything beyond collapsing in his bed in exhaustion.

“Father banished Thor and he fell into his sleep.” They had argued in the Vault right before that. Oh, right, Loki was a monster. He wished he had forgotten that part. “I’m being punished?”

“What?” his mother asked in shock. “Punished? No dearheart, you aren’t being punished. Why would you think that?”

Loki didn’t have the strength to answer that. Instead, he asked, “What’s wrong with me?”

“You are very ill. Lady Eir is doing everything she can to help you and your father is looking to procure something to help as well. Are you in any pain?”

Loki thought about it. He ached everywhere, especially his joints, but it wasn’t the severe pain he could finally recall from earlier. “My eye hurts.”

“Your left one?” she asked and Loki nodded. “The rash has spread along the side of your face and it is near your eye.” She took the cloth she had been using and pressed it against his cheek. “How is that?”

It helped some and he told her so. It was getting harder to stay awake. Her continuing to run her fingers through his hair was only making him even drowsier. “Mama?”

“I’m not leaving you sweetheart. Go back to sleep.”

Loki did.

* * *

Frigga waited until she was certain Loki had fallen back to sleep. She continued to rub his head for a little while longer; knowing the action always soothed him as a child. She couldn’t help but smile a little at the way his hair had begun to twist into its natural curls. Norns, Loki _hated_ his curly hair.

She was glad he was sleeping again. She was not looking forward to when Loki saw his reflection. He had completely reverted to his Jötunn form a couple of days ago. Frigga looked up when she heard someone pacing outside Loki’s private room. Thor must be outside again. Neither she nor Odin had allowed their older son to see his brother yet. They hated that they didn’t know what Thor’s reaction would be.

She knew, of course, the best thing to do would be to explain everything to Thor however, she and Odin had both agreed not to say anything until they had spoken to Loki first. They had hidden so much from their boys, more than they would ever know, but Loki had a right to learn the truth of his origins before Thor did.

Frigga rose from her seat when the door opened. Some of the tension left her body when she saw her husband enter. He appeared as exhausted as she felt. Neither of them had slept much over the past couple of days and she was thankful Odin hadn’t succumbed to the Odinsleep again, though she wondered how much longer he could hold it off.

“Any change?” Odin asked softly.

Frigga returned to her seat. “He awoke briefly a short time ago. He said his pain wasn’t too bad but… he complained about a burning sensation.” She felt tears form. She _hated_ this feeling of uselessness. She hated that she couldn’t do more for her child, that she couldn’t take his pain away… it killed her inside.

Odin ran his hand across her back. “I have tried everything I can to procure Winter Root. I refuse to give up but I think we need to resort to less savory means of getting it.”

“What do you mean?”

“The council refuses to even consider opening talks with Jötunheim. Their realm is a mess and… I fear they may be right. After having the Bifröst set upon them, I doubt any surviving members of the royal family will want to speak with us.” There was an intense sadness in his eye. “Loki killed Laufey.”

“Yes,” Frigga was disheartened by that as well. “Thor said that Loki sent the Destroyer to Midgard to kill him and their friends. He seemed so convinced of it. Have we become so blind to our children that…” she wasn’t even sure how to finish that thought. “I don’t understand how Thor could ever think Loki capable of such a thing. Why is everyone suddenly so convinced Loki is evil? Have they forgotten who he really is inside? How strongly he cares?”

“Perhaps that is _why_ he did it,” ventured Odin.

Frigga couldn’t believe that. “Loki would never—”

“I don’t say that lightly Frigga,” Odin sighed and pulled the other chair closer. “Loki may have believed that he had no other choice. In the Vault, before I succumbed…” he shook his head, “poor timing all around. Anyway, he called himself a monster and I… I was never given the chance to tell him it wasn’t true.” Odin let out a huff, “If I had only been able to stave off the sleep for just a little bit longer, maybe none of this would have happened.”

His hand found hers and squeezed reassuringly. After a moment she took her hand back so she could re-wet the cloth she had placed against Loki’s cheek. “Lady Eir said the swelling in his brain has gone down but she doesn’t know if it will last.”

“Thor is wearing a rut in the floor of the hallway. He is worried and confused.”

“You saw the look on his face in the Observatory.”

“I did…” he frowned. “He may have become worthy of Mjölnir again but I don’t think he has learned his lesson.”

They fell silent, each watching over their son. After a time, Odin returned to his duties and Lady Eir came to check on Loki. The healer had administered several different potions in an attempt to slow the illness.

Lady Eir entered the room to check on Loki once again. “When was the last time you slept?” she asked Frigga.

“Too long,” Frigga replied, “but I don’t want to leave him alone.”

“You need sleep. Only for a couple of hours, I insist.”

Frigga wasn’t sure.

“I will alert you if anything changes,” Lady Eir said.

Frigga knew arguing would do her no good. She stood and pressed a kiss to Loki’s head then headed back to her rooms. As soon as she entered the hallway she was met by Thor. Her elder son appeared as harried as Frigga felt.

“How is Loki?” Thor asked.

Frigga linked her arm through his. “He is still very ill,” Frigga replied.

“Why will you not let me see him?”

Frigga paused and looked to make sure the hallway was empty. “Neither of you are ready for that yet. Loki needs to recover more—”

“But what if he doesn’t,” Thor argued. “I’ve heard what Lady Eir has said. This could kill him.”

“It could,” Frigga agreed, as much as she hated to. “But I wonder if you realize why and what the illness really is.”

“Does that matter? Loki is my brother.”

“So you do still consider Loki to be your brother?”

Thor’s mouth dropped open in shock. “Of course I do! Why would you think—”

“The last you saw him, you were willing to kill him.”

Frigga was glad to see the regret in Thor’s eyes. Perhaps he may not be so quick to judge, as she feared. “When the next Loki awakes for a significant amount of time, I will ask him if you may visit.”

“But mother—”

“No buts Thor. It will be Loki’s decision.”

Thor wasn’t pleased but he finally agreed. They parted ways at the doors to her rooms. She pulled the pins from her hair, rotating her neck to alleviate some of the tension. Her bed did look inviting and once she crawled in her body seemed to sink into the mattress.

Frigga managed to catch a few hours of sleep. When she awoke, night had fallen and it did not appear that Odin had joined her. She left the bed and dressed in something light. She pinned her hair back just enough to keep it out of her face then made her way back to the healing halls.

Frigga found herself thankful she had selected slippers to wear instead of her normal shoes as it made her steps silent. The closer she came to Loki’s room, the clearer the hushed voices became. Anger surged through her.

“I’m telling you,” came one low female voice, “there is no way _Prince Loki_ could be Asgardian. He carries all of the markings and coloring of the Jötunn.”

“If that’s true,” Sif’s voice reached Frigga’s ears, “how could he have come here? Why is he here?”

“I don’t know,” the other voice answered, “but what I _do_ know is that his heritage markings show him to be Laufey’s offspring.”

“Laufey’s son?” Sif gasped. “That means… Loki isn’t of the House of Odin at all. He isn’t Thor’s brother,” why did she suddenly sound happy? “He has to have been spying for the Jötunn. He let the Jötnar in to disrupt Thor’s coronation and used that as a means to gain the crown. Dear Norns, a Jötunn nearly had full control of Asgard.” Sif pulled a dagger. “We can’t risk him surviving his illness. Loki has to die.”

Frigga shook with rage. She stepped around the corner and made herself known. “How dare you!”

Both women spun to face her, shock written on their faces. Frigga recognized the other woman as one of Lady Eir’s senior healers. The woman had the decency to look abashed. “My queen—” the woman began.

“Be silent!” Frigga snapped. “I will inform Lady Eir you will no longer be working for her. That you would dare speak of one of your patients in such a way is abhorrent. If you so much as breathe a _word_ of what I have heard tonight to anyone else, rest assured I will not be merciful. _No one_ threatens my son.”

The healer turned to leave but Frigga held her in place with her seiðr. Frigga wasn’t about to risk the woman harming her son.

“Loki isn’t your son,” Sif said, drawing Frigga’s attention back to her. “By the sound of it, he’s not even Æsir.”

Frigga turned her angered gaze upon the shieldmaiden. The smug expression on the young woman’s face was one Frigga was sorely tempted to wipe off. She stepped up until she was nearly nose-to-nose with Sif. “Loki is my son, he is Odin’s son and he is Thor’s brother. You have forgotten your place and taken far too many liberties due to your friendship with Thor. Loki is a _prince_ and you _will_ give him the respect his station deserves.”

“He may be a prince, but it is definitely not of Asgard.”

“If you think your friendship with my son will keep you from repercussions, you are sorely mistaken.”

“You would harbor a traitor?”

“The only traitor I see is you. Exactly how quick were you and your companions to betray Loki and disobey his order to leave Thor on Midgard? An order, I remind you, which was originally issued by his father.”

“Everything we did was for the protection of Asgard.” Sif argued, “Thor was the rightful king, Loki stole the throne!”

Frigga laughed, “Loki did no such thing. The line of succession fell to him. His rule was fully sanctioned by law.” Sif’s expression finally shifted from a look of superiority to fear. “Guard,” Frigga called, her eyes never leaving the shieldmaiden. She heard the Einherjar approach. “Arrest these two for treason against the crown and the attempted murder of Prince Loki.”

Sif and the healer tried to protest but Frigga took their voices away. The guards confiscated Sif’s weapon and led them away. Frigga watched them all go.

She was sure she would hear about this later but she didn’t care. Sif had always had a chip on her shoulder, one she had developed quite early due to her choice to become a shieldmaiden. While Sif had had to work twice as hard to prove herself, and she _was_ quite the capable warrior, she had also seemed to think it required her to be ten times as cruel to anyone who _wasn’t_ a warrior or to anyone she believe didn’t measure up to an insane standard. Frigga had known Sif was jealous of Loki’s place in Thor’s heart but she had never realized just how vicious that jealousy would be.

Frigga stepped through the door to Loki’s room and took a breath to calm her anger. She didn’t need such raging emotions around her son. Her being upset would not help him at all.

To her surprise, Loki was sitting up and poking at something in his lap. She could only see his profile but by the droop of his shoulders, he was upset. She stepped closer, “You should be sleeping.”

Loki gave a start, his head whipping up to face her. He immediately winced and gripped the side of his head. “Mama?”

Frigga made her way to his side and saw that he held a mirror in his lap. Her heart sank. “Oh Loki…” she took the mirror from him. “Lay down sweetheart, I’ll see if Lady Eir has something for your head.”

“How can you stand to look at me?”

Frigga sighed, returning to his bedside. The anguish in his ruby eyes cut her. She tried for some levity. “I’ll admit, you do not look your best but that’s nothing a good bath won’t cure.”

Loki winced again and looked away. “Mother…” he let out a sound that was a cross between a laugh and a sob. “I can’t call you that anymore.”

Frigga gave him a funny look. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m not your son.”

Gently, she turned his head to face her. “I may not have carried you within my womb but you _are_ my son. You were always meant to be a part of this family. Your seiðr called to mine even before you were born.” She sat upon the side of his bed. “After Thor’s birth, it became near impossible for me to conceive again. I managed to, once, but I miscarried. It was after that, Lady Eir discovered I was unable to ever carry a child again. You being born to another woman was the Norns way of bringing you to me.”

Loki looked down at his hands, the left nearly purple from the rash and the right almost a pale gray. “Why would the Norns… Why was I born a monster then?”

She wrapped her arms around him, laying his head against her shoulder and running her fingers through his hair. “You are no monster Loki.” How she wished they could have shielded their sons better from the hatred that prevailed Asgard after the end of the war. “I wish I knew the right words to say to convince you of that but let’s face it, I do not have your silver tongue.”

Loki didn’t respond and she could practically hear the gears in his mind turning. She did not want him to begin brooding. “Your hair has begun to curl again.”

Loki squawked, pulling back to pat his hair down in a futile attempt to get rid of the curls. It didn’t work. He peered up at her from beneath said curls. “You did that on purpose.”

Frigga affected a look of innocence. “I know not of what you speak.” She sobered, “Loki, I do hope you realize that the color of your skin doesn’t have anything to do with who you are as a person.” She took his hand in hers and held it up, tracing the delicate patterns along the back of his hand. Unfortunately, she didn’t think her words were getting through to him. Perhaps he just wasn’t ready to hear them. “How are you feeling otherwise?”

“I’m still sore and tired,” Loki admitted. “I don’t know what it is Lady Eir gave me but it’s helped.”

Had someone managed to procure Winter Root? She hoped so. “That’s good. You should go back to sleep.”

“While I am tired,” Loki admitted, “I don’t think I could sleep just yet. I have too much on my mind.”

“Anything I can help you with?”

Loki shrugged. He did, at least, settle back down on the bed. “There is so much I just don’t _understand_. Why would Odin have brought me here if not to use me as some kind of bargaining tool against Laufey? He told me he’d thought to unite the Realms through me but,” confusion warred with despair, “I cannot possibly see how he would have done that. Make me some kind of puppet king perhaps?”

Frigga retook her seat beside the bed and ran a hand down her face. “You will have to discuss that more with your father but he never actually had any intention of doing such a thing. Your father brought you here to save your life. An unfortunate…” Frigga fought to find the right words for what she wanted to say next, “aspect of the Jötnar culture is their beliefs around size. It is an older system of belief and one that had fallen out of favor for a time. When Jötunheim began to fall into disrepair, they returned to those beliefs.

“In their culture, any Jötunn who is born small is seen as a punishment from the gods and the only way to appease the gods and return ‘honor’ to the family is for the child to be sacrificed and the mother to commit ritual suicide. Their belief is that sometime during the pregnancy, one of the parents committed a sin so great that the ‘strength’ of the Jötnar is taken from the child as punishment. It is a sign to all around that the family has done wrong.”

“So I was defective from the beginning?”

“Absolutely not,” Frigga said. “Loki, the reason you were born small had nothing to do with any kind of ‘punishment’ from the gods. You carry a _powerful_ seiðr within you. That _alone_ would not have allowed you to grow to the size of an average Jötunn. At one time, Jötunheim had a large number of seiðrmann and seiðrhunn but most were killed during the Mage War so long ago.”

“Mage War?”

“A war long before even your great-great-grandparents were born. It’s believed that is when the Jötnar adopted their belief system concerning runts. Up until your birth, I had thought their lines had died out entirely.”

“So I am a freak amongst even them.”

“You are a _gift_ ,” Frigga said forcefully, “and I would take you in all over again were the same decision brought to me today. Your father too and…” she laughed as a memory came to her, “You have been a mischievous little thing since infancy. You were always demanding to be held, which your father and I attributed to your abandonment, not that either of us objected. Do you want to know what you did when you first met Thor?”

She could see she had him intrigued. “What?” Loki asked.

“Thor was so excited to finally have a little brother. He asked if he could hold you so we set him up on the couch and placed you on his lap. He was telling you all of the things you two were going to do once you were old enough and you,” she tapped a finger against his nose, “peed on him.”

“I… I what?”

Frigga could see Loki fighting to keep a smile a bay. “Oh yes,” she said, nodding. “You let out a happy little gurgle and just… peed all over his lap. The look of shock on Thor’s face was priceless.” Finally, Loki wasn’t able to hold back a tiny smile. She was glad to see something other than fear and anguish on his face. She took his hand in hers once more. “Thor wishes to see you.” The smile instantly dropped from Loki’s face. “I told him it would be your decision,” Frigga said, “and that I would ask you once you were feeling better.”

“Have you told him what I am?”

“Your father and I haven’t told him much of anything actually,” Frigga admitted. “We decided we needed to speak with you first. If, in the morning, you are feeling up to it, we can talk.”

“He’ll kill me.”

“Loki—”

“You don’t understand,” Loki interrupted. “Mother, you didn’t see him on Jötunhiem. Since we were children he’s vowed to hunt down the monsters and wipe them all out, and he… It wasn’t a _battle_ that took place on Jötunheim, it was a slaughter and Thor enjoyed every _moment_ of it. He was killing them for _fun._ That one of them insulted him was only an excuse. When we were in the Observatory I thought… No, I _knew_ he was going to kill me and nothing I said would have stopped him. I may have been his brother once but…” Loki held up his hands, as though emphasizing their color, “no longer. To Thor, I’m nothing but a monster he needs to exterminate.”

As much as Frigga wanted to protest, to say Thor would _never_ hurt Loki, she had seen the same bloodlust in Thor’s eyes when she and Odin had arrived at the Observatory. It was only their arrival that had kept Thor from killing Loki. “We will talk to him and it will be your decision when you want to see him.”

“What if he won’t listen? Thor doesn’t take criticism lightly and I fear that he never really learned the lesson fa… father wanted him to.”

“Is it suddenly so strange to you to call us ‘mother’ and ‘father’ now?”

If Loki cared about her sudden change in subject, he didn’t say anything. She and Odin would have to work on Thor.

“It feels as though I’m disrespecting you for calling you that. I don’t deserve to have you for parents.”

“Why? And if you say it’s because you are Jötunn, Loki, ill or not, I will slap you.”

Loki turned his gaze to the ceiling and Frigga did not miss the tears that escaped his eyes. She reached out to wipe them away.

“I know what you have learned has been a great shock to you. It is a lot to take in, coupled with your illness and everything that has transpired of late… Loki, your father and I have failed you. We thought to keep the truth of your birth from you as a means of protecting you. Neither of us wanted the people to take their hatred of Jötunheim out on you. We _should_ have told you the truth once you were old enough and that is a failing on our part. I should have pushed to have you know the truth but the time never seemed appropriate. Eventually it… it became unimportant to us. You are our son and that was all that mattered.”

“How could it not be important?”

“To be honest with you, I forgot.”

He turned wide eyes on her. “How, by the Nine, could you have possibly forgotten this?”

“I suppose ‘forgot’ isn’t the right word. We never actually forgot but it…” She sighed, trying to put her thoughts into words was harder than she liked. “It seemed no more important than the color of your hair. Does that make any sense?”

Loki watched her silently and she saw his eyes grow heavy. “Maybe,” Loki said softly as his eyes closed. “‘m tired ag’in.”

“Then you sleep now. We’ll talk more in the morning.”

Frigga stayed by his bedside long after he had fallen asleep. There was a lot her family had to talk about. She knew Loki and Odin needed to have a conversation as well. Loki needed positive reinforcement and Frigga thought she might know exactly where to start.

* * *

Loki felt terrible. Whatever Lady Eir had given him the night before had worn off and his symptoms had returned with a vengeance. Loki shifted in a poor attempt to get comfortable. His head felt as though someone was trying to split his skull open, he was somehow both very hot and freezing cold and the burning sensation in his skin had spread across his chest and back. All in all, Loki would have welcomed a blow from Mjölnir as then afterwards he not would be conscious to feel like…

_Like shit,_ he thought, _I feel like shit._

He heard someone approach and opened his eyes. He was glad the lights had been kept low as anything brighter only aggravated his migraine. Lady Eir stepped up beside his bed and her hand gently pressed against his forehead. She frowned slightly. “How are you feeling my prince?” she asked softly.

Loki let out a low moan. His throat felt raw, as though he had been screaming. “Lady Eir,” his voice sounded as bad as he felt, “am I going to die?”

Her expression became angered. “Not if I have anything to say about it.”

There was still much Loki didn’t understand, much he couldn’t reconcile about himself now. “Why do you still call me ‘prince’?”

Lady Eir cocked an eyebrow and Loki had the sense that he was being chastised. “You are still a Prince of Asgard, are you not?”

“Am I? Or am I only a Prince of Jötunheim? Maybe I’m nothing.”

“What if you’re both?” Lady Eir offered.

“Both?”

“Yes. Loki, Prince of Asgard and also Loki, Crown Prince of Jötunheim.” She took his hand and began to rub a salve on it. The burning seemed to lessen. “I have been caring for you since your father smuggled you here after the war. Who your birth parents are, where you were born, has no bearing on who _you_ are. I know better than anyone the atrocities committed during the war, by both sides. You are not responsible for the actions of your birth parents nor are you responsible for the actions of others of your birth race. To think otherwise is utter foolishness.”

As much as Loki wanted to believe her words, he found it difficult to do so. “I will be blamed for it though, won’t I? Even if everything you say is true, I will still be blamed for it by virtue of being Jötunn.”

He could see by her expression that he was right. Not that he was surprised; he had been blamed for several things over the millennia the he had not been responsible for. Eventually it became easier to simply take the blame than to fight it.

“You may be Jötunn in body but your mind and heart are Æsir. Given your size, I would not be surprised if you had Æsir or Vanir in your ancestry. There has always been more to you, Loki Odinson, than what one can see.” She finished applying the salve to his hand and lower arm. “Do you think you could sit up so that I can rub this along your back?”

Loki nodded slowly and she helped him to sit up. She then helped him from his tunic so she could apply the salve. “It hurts to breathe.”

Lady Eir paused in her ministrations. “You had fluid building up in your lungs earlier.” She made some adjustments to the side of his bed and glanced at something out of his view. “It doesn’t appear as though that is the case now, which is good. It looks to be more muscle related. The fluid buildup was causing you to cough as well and you may have pulled some muscles. How much pain are you in?”

“I’m fine.”

“And yet, you were just complaining that it hurt to breathe. I cannot help you if you hide symptoms from me. Be honest my prince.”

“It’s… it’s manageable.”

There was the eyebrow raise again. “If you are making yourself endure pain needlessly as some form of self induced punishment, rest assured,” she bent until she was within his eyesight, “I will tell your mother.”

They stared at one another for some time until Loki relented. “I hurt everywhere,” he admitted. “It isn’t to the level of scream worthy but it is getting there.”

“Then I will find something for the pain.” She applied the salve along his chest and when she moved to his back, she let out a little hum in thought.

“What is it?”

“Hm? Oh, these heritage lines form a unique design, one I don’t recall seeing before. They must come from your birth mother.”

After she finished, she helped him back into his tunic then to lay back down. In the time it took for her to find something for his pain, his mother and father came to check in on him. They conversed for a little while before Loki began to grow tired again. He eventually dozed off.

Loki wasn’t sure how long he had slept but when he awoke he felt even worse than before. His pain was near excruciating, his skin felt as though it was on fire and he was so lightheaded that even though he was laying down he still felt like he was about to fall.

Through all of this, Loki knew he was not alone. He could make out the voices of his parents and Lady Eir and they sounded worried, more worried than Loki liked. _I am going to die._

Loki let out a cry of pain as he was rolled onto his right side. He felt someone, most likely Lady Eir, rub something into his skin. It was too loud, too bright and Loki just wanted it all to _stop!_

His thoughts felt muddled, only able to focus on the pain. While he could hear people talking, there was an angry tone to some of them; he couldn’t make out what was being said. He opened his eyes but everything was blurry. He blinked a few times in an attempt to clear his vision. When his vision finally did clear, he screamed and it wasn’t due to the pain.

Thor! Thor was here, he’d finally decided to kill Loki. Loki scrambled away, reserves of strength he’d thought depleted surging from the adrenaline in his veins. Hands grabbed at him, which he fought off. Loki fell from the bed, landing hard on the floor. Luckily, the blankets had been pulled from him earlier so his legs hadn’t become tangled. Someone grabbed onto his right arm and Loki let out another scream, his whole arm became cold and whoever had grabbed him let out a cry of their own.

Loki continued trying to flee, there had to be another way out of the room, when his father’s voice caused Loki’s panic to freeze.

“Frigga!”

Loki’s blood ran cold at the fear in Odin’s voice. Loki had managed to push himself into a corner of the room, still searching for an escape, when his eyes fell upon the others. His mother was gripped one of her wrists while the palm of her other hand appeared black. Loki felt his stomach twist as he recalled the other cry of pain. Had he done that? Had he burned his mother with his skin?

“You burned her.”

Loki hadn’t noticed the Warriors Three were in the room as well until Hogun’s low, accusatory, voice reached his ears.

“I’m sorry,” Loki gasped, “I didn’t… I didn’t mean…”

“It was an accident,” his mother said. She ignored her injury and Lady Eir’s attempt to tend it and made her way over to Loki. “It was an accident, I know.” She glared over her shoulder. “If someone had actually _listened_ to me and not come in here, scaring his brother half to death, this wouldn’t have happened.” She turned back to him and reached for him with her good hand. “You need to get back in bed Loki.”

Loki shook his head. He had _hurt_ her. He had burned his mother with his cursed skin. Loki curled himself up tighter, pushing himself more against the corner when everyone else approached. Tears of fright and horror ran down his cheeks.

“Brother.”

Loki’s eyes darted back and forth over each of them. Thor had seen, they had all seen, the monster hidden beneath his skin. “I didn’t mean to hurt her,” he said to Thor.

Surprisingly, Thor didn’t seem angry, more confused and frightened. Loki wondered what could frighten the Mighty Thor so. Actually, Thor appeared almost on the verge of tears. What by the Nine?

“Everyone, back away,” Volstagg said unexpectedly. He gently helped Frigga to her feet and maneuvered himself between Loki and everyone else. “All you are doing is scaring him even further.” To Frigga he said, “Please let yourself be tended to my queen.” To everyone else, “Just back up a few steps.”

Even more to Loki’s astonishment, they all _listened._ Once Volstagg was satisfied by their distance, he turned back to face Loki then sat on the floor in front of him. “That position looks extremely uncomfortable,” Volstagg said conversationally. “Are you sure you don’t want to return to bed?”

Loki’s eyes flitted between Volstagg and everyone else gathered behind him. If possible, he curled himself up even tighter.

“Ignore them,” Volstagg said with a wave of his hand, “they aren’t important at the moment.”

Loki stared at the other man in disbelief. Not important? They were going to be the architects of his execution and they weren’t important?

Again, it was Hogun who broke the silence. “Laufey said there was a traitor in the House of Odin. It seems Loki is Jötunn. The question we must be asking is; in what ways has he further undermined the royal house?”

“You’re joking!” Fandral cried. “You honestly think Loki is a Jötunn spy?”

The Vanir warrior’s eyes were hard. “Loki is a known shapeshifter and full of mischief and dishonor. It is not beyond the realm of possibility that he killed the real Prince Loki and took his place.”

Loki’s heart seized in his chest. If Hogun began to spread such a possibility, it would not be long before it became truth. Nothing Loki said would ever be believed. Maybe he would be better off if this disease killed him.

Loki’s eyes found Thor’s face and he could see Thor was weighing the possibility. His heart sank even further.

“Loki’s adoption is fully documented.” Odin growled. “He did not kill anyone and take their place. If you wish to lay blame anywhere, lay it with me,” he stalked towards the other man. “I brought Loki here as a newborn. His mother and I claimed him as our own. We hid the truth from him for this very reason. I’ll not have Loki blamed for actions that were either not his own or _never even happened_ just because he is Jötunn!”

“They committed many atrocities during the war. None of them are innocent.”

“So did Asgard, and Vanaheim and anyone else who fought. Loki was born on the very last day of the war. Exactly how was he supposed to have been responsible for any of that?”

“The king has a point,” Fandral said to Hogun. “Besides, you’re crazy if you think Loki has been some kind of Jötunn spy since he was _toddling._ From what his majesty said, Loki didn’t even know… oh…” Realization crossed Fandral’s face. He stepped up behind Volstagg “You discovered this when we went to Jötunheim, didn’t you?”

Loki watched Fandral for a moment before letting his gaze travel around everyone else watching him in return. Loki was terrified, in pain and he had hurt his mother. He nodded, not that he expected anyone to believe him.

“His knowledge, or lack thereof, changes nothing,” Hogun said. “Loki conspiring with the Jötunn to disrupt Thor’s coronation, even going so far as to provide them a means of entering the Vault, is obvious. So too, is his motive, to take the throne for himself. Another indisputable fact is that he has severely injured the queen. To ignore any of that is foolish.”

“What is wrong with you?” Fandral asked in shock. “First Sif gets herself arrested and now you are speaking near treason.”

Sif had been arrested? When? _Why?_

“That you would even _suggest_ Loki would ever harm his mother purposefully is beyond insane!” Fandral continued.

“None of you are helping the situation,” Volstagg said.

Thor stepped forward, “Brother.”

Loki threw his arms up to cover his head, not that it would do him any good once Thor began to beat him. The temperature of the room seemed to drop a number of degrees.

“You see, he attacks unprovoked,” Hogun declared.

“He’s not attacking!” Odin roared. “That’s fear.” Softer, and closer than Loki realized, “He’s unused to the powers granted to him in this form and his fear is causing them to manifest to protect himself.”

Volstagg let out a soft hum. “Your brother is frightened of you Thor. It may be best if you left the room.”

“But…” confusion was quite prominent in Thor’s voice. “Loki, I swear, I would _never_ hurt you. I… I don’t understand what’s going on or how this could have been kept hidden for so long but… I don’t _care_ where you were born. You will always be my brother.”

Loki wished he could believe that but he couldn’t forget the look in Thor’s eyes the first time he had seen Loki in the Observatory. If it hadn’t been for their parent’s intervention, Loki would already be dead.

“Volstagg is right,” Odin said. “Once things have calmed we can discuss you coming back later.”

Loki lowered his arms enough to see that Thor appeared as though he was about to protest. Thor pressed his lips together and nodded. “Get well soon, brother,” Thor said before standing and taking his leave. He dragged Hogun and Fandral with him.

“Will you allow me to help you back to your bed?” Volstagg asked.

With the adrenaline no longer racing through Loki’s veins, all of the pain he had forgotten in his fright returned. He slumped further against the wall, sliding until his head was resting on the floor. “Hurts,” he gasped. His vision narrowed and he became lightheaded once more. He wanted to ask about his mother. He wanted to beg for the pain to stop. He didn’t get the chance to do any of that as consciousness left him once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Loki was looking in a mirror before Frigga mentioned his hair starting to curl but I figured he wasn't paying any attention to his hair at all when he was looking at his face. 
> 
> I've always pegged Volstagg as actually trying to be a friend to Loki, Fandrall too even. Volstagg also has a butt-ton of children which is why I had him be the one to try and talk Loki out of his fear. Frigga and Odin are too worried about Loki to really think straight.
> 
> seiðrmann = seiðr man  
> seiðrhunn = seiðr woman


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All is not well within Asgard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've taken creative liberty on Odin's family tree.
> 
> Also... things have to go this way to advance the plot. Sorry...

**_Five_ **

Frigga returned to Loki’s room once her wound had been treated. The frost burn would heal completely, though right now her palm was still sore and bright red, as though she had held it too close to a fire.

Loki had been coaxed into returning to his bed by the time she returned and he’d been given something for his pain. The rash had spread so much that it nearly covered him entirely. His joints were visibly swollen and it broke Frigga’s heart to see him in such a state. All of her motherly instincts were railing against her inability to help her son.

She sat at his bedside for a time and had planned on remaining for the rest of the night only to have Lady Eir _suggest_ (read: demand) she return to her own rooms for some sleep. The healer reminded her that she would do Loki no good if she made herself sick from exhaustion. Reluctantly, Frigga agreed. While she did heed Lady Eir’s advice and took comfort in her husband’s embrace that night, leaving Loki’s bedside was a decision she would come to regret.

The following morning, after she and Odin had finished their morning routine and before Odin would be forced to put matters of the Realm before family, they both made their way back to the healing halls to check on Loki.

They heard Lady Eir’s enraged voice long before they saw her and nowhere near the halls of healing. Exchanging looks of worry, they raced down the hallway and came upon a heated scene.

“Where is my patient?” Lady Eir shrieked as she chased General Tyr. “Prince Loki was in no condition to be moved and you had _no_ authority to do so!”

“Orders for the prisoner transfer were sent last night. It is done and there is no way to bring him back nor will I send any if my men to try doing so.”

“Prisoner!” Frigga cried, “Loki wasn’t a prisoner. Where is my son?”

“Who authorized this?” Odin demanded.

“You did, my king,” General Tyr replied.

For a moment, Frigga felt betrayed but Odin reared back as if struck. “I did no such thing,” he said.

The general produced a parchment, which he handed to Odin. Her husband nearly ripped the parchment in half from how forcefully he opened it. Frigga read over his shoulder, her stomach dropping out from under her as she did. Her son was gravely ill and he had been sent off to the Norns knew where. Her eyes found her husband’s signature.

“That isn’t your handwriting,” she said, feeling a small amount of relief.

“No,” Odin growled, “it isn’t.” He glared at his top general. “Who handed down these orders?”

“The Council,” General Tyr replied, “on your authority.” Odin stormed past him, Frigga close on his heels. From behind them, General Tyr called, “He was a traitor to Asgard and a Jötunn! His machinations would have left Asgard vulnerable to attack. That he attacked his own home Realm as means to appear loyal to us means nothing. Everything he did was meant to destroy Asgard!”

Odin stopped in his tracks and slowly turned to face his general. It had been many centuries since she had seen such a look of absolute rage on his face. Her husband appeared ready to murder Tyr. “You had best pray Loki is found and returned here safely. If, Norns forbid, my son dies, I will have your head.”

“You would jeopardize Asgard’s safety?”

“Tell me general,” Frigga asked, “would you have followed Thor into war had the one he ignited come to pass?”

“Of course.”

“But not Loki.”

The general’s silence was all the answer they needed. Frigga felt sick. How had they never seen how differently their sons were viewed by the people? Why did everyone assume the worst with Loki? Her trickster had one of the biggest hearts of anyone she knew.

_Which is why they hate him,_ she thought. _Loki has never fit into any mold anyone has tried to force him into._ She spun on her heal and continued to follow Odin. Her husband’s rage was palpable.

Odin burst into the Chancellor’s office, flinging the door open with such force that it slammed back against its frame. He stormed over to the desk and slapped the parchment down on it. “Would you care to explain to me what _this_ is about?” he growled.

Chancellor Imir glanced at the parchment. “We were only following your orders—”

“I gave no such order!”

Imir’s mouth snapped shut and he slowly rose from behind his desk, “When we broke from council yesterday, your majesty stated that you wanted all hostilities with Jötunheim to be resolved. We have done that.”

Odin’s voice, though low, felt as though he were screaming, “When I said I wanted hostilities to be resolved, I specifically said that I wanted to negotiate peace with Jötunheim.” He glared at Imir, who had been a part of the council since Bor’s time. “Where did you send my son?”

The Chancellor sighed, “To Jötunheim.”

“You had no right to make such a decision!” Frigga yelled.

“Forgive me, my queen, but we did. We contacted Jötunheim after our meeting ended to begin talks. They will be sending a delegation in a few days to finalize our treaty. As a sign of good faith, they wanted to see Laufey’s killer. Given Loki’s… condition, we had no choice but to inform Laufey’s court of the true nature of their relationship. As such, Loki was deemed a kin slayer and they demanded his return as recompense.”

“For the past several days, the council has adamantly refused to even _think_ of beginning talks with Jötunheim and now…” His voice rose in pitch. “You have sent a _Prince of Asgard_ to another kingdom without any kind of trial, no known crime!” Odin bellowed. “You forged my signature, this document is completely invalid.”

“The document is valid and the crime Loki committed is very real.”

“What crime! Anything he did as king to prevent the war was legal!”

“The crime I speak of is the murder of his father.”

“ _I’m_ his father!”

“No, your majesty, you aren’t. Your reaction is precisely why we did not inform you my King. We knew you could not be objective in this decision and as such, the council has the authority to use a proxy to sign for your majesty. Loki was stripped of his titles and citizenship and his adoption was revoked so that his execution could not be used as a reason to continue hostilities.”

“ _Execution!_ ” Frigga screeched. Her head swam and she felt faint. Her baby, her Loki, had been sent to Jötunheim for execution. She stumbled back against the door, the only thing keeping her from falling to the floor were her husband’s arms wrapping around her. “Loki… Loki…” she cried.

“I am sorry majesties,” Imir said softly, “but this is the way it had to happen.”

Frigga let out a blood-curdling scream. Her world stopped. Thor’s banishment had been horrible but this was so much worse. Her baby was _gone_. She had been robbed of seeing Loki live his life, of watching him marry and father children of his own. Frigga clung to her husband, and cried, uncaring of anyone who saw her. She wanted her child back, she wanted both of her children here, safe and hale. Eventually Odin led her away to their private chambers where they clung to one another, both feeling Loki’s loss and knowing that their failure to protect their child had led to his death.

* * *

Frigga was unsure of how much time had passed. She knew Lady Eir had been summoned and had given Frigga a tonic to help calm her but ever since, she had been simply staring at the far wall grieving for her son. Odin remained by her side the whole time. He’d pulled the pins from her hair, allowing the golden tresses to fall around her shoulders. She knew he grieved as strongly as she did but he could never feel the severed bond she had had with Loki. In a moment of clarity, she had searched for his seiðr and found nothing. Any hope that Loki could be brought home was crushed with that knowledge.

“We have to tell Thor,” Odin said softly, running his fingers through her hair.

Frigga nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes. “Yes, I know. He’s going to be devastated.”

“We will have to be careful in how we do it. He’ll want to murder Imir.”

“ _I_ want to murder Imir.”

Her husband was silent for a moment. “Me too,” he admitted, “and not just him, the entire Council. The proxy law is old and obscure. To my knowledge, it has never been used before and its use is only allowed in times when no member of the royal family is available or able to make decisions. They have severely overstepped their authority.”

“Knowing that doesn’t bring Loki back to us.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

There was a soft knock on the door and Odin bid whomever it was to enter. Thor entered, followed by Lady Eir. The healer held a goblet in each hand.

“Mother,” Thor said, “father, what’s going on? Why are you not with Loki?”

Frigga exchanged a look with her husband, feeling her heart break all over again.

Lady Eir handed both Frigga and Odin a goblet. “Loki is no longer in my healing wing,” she said.

“He’s been released?” Thor asked hopefully. “He’s recovering in his rooms?”

Odin gestured to the sofa across from them. “Sit Thor, we need to talk.”

Worry crossed their eldest son’s—

_Only son,_ her mind supplied. _Thor is our only son now._

—face but Thor did as asked. “What’s wrong?”

Silence reigned throughout the room, neither she nor Odin knowing how to break the news to Thor. Frigga opened her mouth to speak but found her voice had escaped her.

Odin squeezed her hand, “I ordered the council to negotiate a peace treaty with Jötunheim. As a condition of that treaty, Loki was sent to Jötunheim for execution.”

“What!” Thor cried, shooting to his feet. “How could you agree to that?”

“I didn’t,” Odin replied and Frigga could hear the forced calm in his voice. “We didn’t learn about this until this morning, after he had already been sent.”

Thor fell back to the sofa, his eyes glistening with tears. “I don’t understand. W-why… but… negotiations can take _months_ , even years not… not a couple of _hours._ Why was the council so quick to accept such terms?”

“Because, unfortunately, Jötunhiem had one claim we could not deny.”

“And that is?”

“Loki killed Laufey.”

“To save you.”

“I know this but, Laufey was Loki’s birth father. Jötunheim claimed the right to prosecute him as a kin slayer.”

Thor reared back as though he’d been struck. “Laufey was… What, no! How… How could _Laufey_ be Loki’s father? Loki isn’t… he’s…”

Odin sighed heavily, “I found Loki abandoned in the Temple of Utgard on the last day of the war. He had been left upon the altar as a sacrifice due to his size. I could not leave him to such a fate so I brought him home. I knew he was Laufey’s son by his markings, brief though that I saw them, and thought that perhaps one day he could unite our two Realms. It was a fleeting thought, one that never left Jötunheim. I felt a fierce protectiveness of him and once your mother saw him, we knew he was meant to be our son and your brother.”

“Will they… will they give him back to us so that we can…”

“I don’t know for sure but I do not believe so.”

Thor stood again and began to pace. “We can’t _leave_ him there. Loki isn’t— Even if he _was_ born on Jötunheim to… to Laufey, Loki is _Asgardian_! Loki is a _Prince of Asgard_ and he—” Thor spun to face them, his tears spilling over. “I won’t let them desecrate him.”

“Who activated the Bifröst anyway?” Frigga suddenly asked. “Heimdall is still in the healing halls and,” she turned to her husband, “you ordered the Bifröst closed until things settle down. Hofund should be in the Vault.”

“There might be more going on than you realize,” Lady Eir said.

“What do you mean?” Thor asked.

The healer turned to face them. “You would be surprised to hear the things people say in the healing wing when they believe no one is listening. I heard the conversation between Sif and Helga the other night. Your mother intervened before I was given the chance.”

“What conversation?” Thor asked, clearly confused by the turn the discussion had taken. He turned to his mother, “Is that why Sif was arrested? She told me she had been falsely accused?”

“She threatened to kill Loki,” Frigga said. “She had even drawn her dagger when I caught her. When did you speak to her?”

Hurt flashed across Thor’s face at the idea that one of his closest friends would try to kill his brother. Frigga could clearly see in his eyes that Loki would forever be Thor’s brother in his heart and she was glad of it. “Early this morning,” Thor replied. “Sif was released, she said the accusation had been proven to be false so she had been let go.”

“That was probably the council’s doing,” Odin said. “After they made their decision concerning Loki and implemented it, there would have been no legal reason to continue holding her.”

Frigga’s blood boiled at the thought. Sif was free to live her life with no consequences to her actions and Loki was…

“About Prince Loki’s markings,” Lady Eir said, breaking into their thoughts. “I saw one last night while I was tending to him that I hadn’t gotten the chance to tell you about. It might be another reason for why things happened the way they did.”

“What about them?” Frigga asked at the same time Odin asked, “How so?”

“While I was administering the salve along his shoulder, I noticed a set of heritage lines that seemed quite familiar. It was a design I believe he inherited from his mother, although if that is the case, it brings more questions than answers.”

“What was the mark,” asked Odin.

“A frost bloom, wrapped around a dagger.”

Odin gasped, his single eye growing wide, “Are you certain?” Lady Eir nodded.

Frigga’s heart skipped, “What does that mean?”

“It means Loki is a direct descendant of Ymir Élivágar.”

“The first king of Jötunheim?” Thor asked. “Why is that surprising?”

“Because the true royal family of Jötunheim died out only a couple of generations ago. Laufey was not of that line. His family obtained their right to rule through battle.”

“That mean’s Queen Farbauti was of that line. How would no one have noticed that?” Frigga asked.

“I don’t know but,” his eye darted back and forth as his mind raced, “that would have made Farbauti… and that means Loki is…”

“Spit it out Odin!”

“My mother, Bestla, carried that mark. She was the last of that line after her brothers died, it was why she returned to Jötunheim, or so I was told.”

“Grandmother was Jötunn?” Thor asked in surprise.

“Yes.”

“Why were we never told this?”

“Because things began to change around the time she left,” Odin replied. “For some reason, people seemed to conveniently forget where she came from. Mother held an Ǽsir form the whole time she was here, I cannot recall a time I ever saw her Jötunn form but that marking manifested itself as a tattoo on her shoulder.”

“Neither of her brother’s had children,” Frigga said, “so how—” She gasped as the realization of what that meant hit her. “She had a child before Cul.”

She could see Odin had come to the same conclusion as she had. “Queen Farbauti was my sister.” He shifted in his seat, “If that is true and if mother had children with no one but father…”

“Then the line of succession would have fallen to Farbauti for Asgard’s throne before any of you,” Frigga finished, referring to Odin and his three elder brothers.

“And given Loki the strongest claim to the throne of both Asgard and Jötunheim,” Lady Eir added.

Odin stood and made for the door then stopped. His clenched fists shook with rage. “Imir and Karsten have been on the council since my father reigned, they would have _known_ about Farbauti.”

The room fell silent as the ramifications of that knowledge sunk in. The Council of Asgard had purposefully allowed Loki to be executed as a means of keeping him from the throne. A throne Frigga remembered Loki telling her multiple times he was glad he would not inherit.

“What do we do now?” Thor asked softly.

“For now, we wait,” Odin turned back to face them. “What was said in here does not leave this room. The Council has made a grave error. As much as I would like to completely dissolve it, I cannot. The Councilors serve a great purpose for Asgard and to remove them all would send the kingdom into chaos. I don’t believe all of them agreed with what was done so we will have to bide our time and learn which of the councilors are loyal and which have their own agenda. This reeks of something bigger.”

“I refuse to believe Loki is dead,” Thor said. “He may be ill but Loki would never just _let_ himself be executed. He…” Thor’s expression turned fond, “he always had a plan.”

While the link to Loki’s seiðr was gone, Frigga agreed with Thor. “We cannot risk reopening hostilities with Jötunheim nor forcing the Council’s hand until we are ready. We also cannot risk showing any kind of favoritism towards Jötunheim either. I fear rumors of Loki’s origins are already spreading. Old grudges with the Jötnar are surfacing. People are beginning to act as though the war is only just ending.”

“You’ve noticed that too,” Odin asked. “Honestly, now that I think back on it, Tyr’s behavior was strange. Even during the war, he never held such hatred toward the Jötunn.”

“Sif and Hogun are acting strange as well,” Thor added. “What could cause such a thing?”

“A drug, perhaps,” Lady Eir said. “There are a number of things that can alter someone’s personality. Spells too, I believe.”

Frigga nodded, “There are spells, yes, but one that would affect multiple people throughout the kingdom would take a _powerful_ mage.”

“I will need blood samples from anyone who appears affected,” Lady Eir said. “If it is a drug, it may take time to leave the system.”

“I will search the library for a spell,” Frigga said.

“I… I have no idea what to do,” Thor admitted. “I want to search Jötunheim for him.”

“You can’t,” Frigga said, though she hated to say that. “All that would do right now is open the door to further hostilities.”

Thor stood and began to pace the room. “I hate not being able to do anything. Everything in me is saying to go to Jötunheim and find Loki. I failed to protect him. He’s my little brother, I’m _supposed_ to protect him. I hate that all I can see anymore is the fear in his eyes. How could I have ever terrified him so?”

“If you want something to do,” Odin said, “keep your ears open. Listen to those around you. There is corruption in the Council, that much is clear. What we need to do if find out how far that corruption goes and what it is they are after.”

“What will you do?” Frigga asked her husband.

“I will do the same and I will conduct talks with Laufey’s priests. There is a void in the power structure of Jötunheim. The next in line would seemingly be Prince Býleistr. He is still young so it will be interesting to see if the priests coronate him or not.”

“Would they dare risk not doing so?”

“Jötunheim is fickle and has been for a long time. He may be our best chance of having Loki returned to us.”

Frigga did not like it one bit. She held the same sentiment as Thor, she wanted to charge Jötunheim and find Loki. She knew, though, that wasn’t an option. She would play her part as Asgard’s queen but she would keep her eyes and ears open and when the time came, she would dispatch the traitors herself and she would do so with _great_ pleasure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I chose the Chancellor's name for a reason. Any guesses?


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki awakes in a realm full of monsters, or so he thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't just keep things the way they were. Hopefully this chapter doesn't disappoint. After this (as of right now at least) I only have one more chapter completed so the updates will probably slow down a bit.
> 
> More creative liberties were taken but those will be explained at the end.

**_Six_ **

Loki was pleasantly warm, not the unbearably hot that he’d felt with his fever but comfortable. For the first time in many days, he wasn’t delirious from it, though Loki wasn’t sure how much of what he’d seen during that time was real. He honestly wasn’t sure if it had been days that had passed or merely hours.

He did remember the pain of being dragged from his bed in the healing halls. He remembered trying to ask what was happening only to be ignored. He recalled flashes of gold, the clanking of armor then the sensation of riding the Bifröst. After that, nothing but bitter cold for a time.

Loki heard movement and he realized his head no longer felt as though someone was trying to split it open. “Mama?” his voice was rough from disuse.

The voice that answered was not his mother’s, though it was female. “I’m afraid not, young one.”

Loki did not recognize the voice. He tensed beneath the blankets and attempted to open his eyes. Norns, he was still so tired.

“Here,” the woman said, “drink this. It will help.”

The woman, at least he assumed it was her, helped him to sit up and placed a glass to his lips. Loki drank and grimaced at the bitter taste.

The woman chuckled softly, “Yes, that is everyone’s reaction to the tea but it does help. Matter of fact, your condition has significantly improved since you arrived.”

“Where am I?” Loki’s voice sounded much better. He finally managed to open his eyes and he reared back in shock and fear when he saw his caretaker.

The giantess, who was actually more about his height, gave a rueful smile. Her silver hair cascaded down past her shoulders, a few locks curling around her cheeks. “You are safe here, young one.”

“Where is _here_?” Loki reiterated.

“A small village at the base of the Jökel Mountains.”

“This isn’t Asgard.”

She softly laughed again, “No, this isn’t Asgard.” Her expression turned somber. “I am sorry you had to return this way.”

Among all of the emotions running through Loki, confusion was making its way to the forefront. “Who are you? Why are…” _Why are you being nice? Why are you caring for me?_ “What do you want with me?” 

“My only wish is for you to be well again and, if you are willing, to allow me to get to know you.”

“Why?”

Loki flinched when she reached for him and she lowered her hand. He saw the color of his own skin, still that disgusting blue, when he’d brought his arms up. Slowly he lowered them, the urge to cry nearly overwhelming.

“You are not healthy enough to return to your Æsir form,” she said gently. “A few more days and, unfortunately, more Winter Root tea, you’ll be able to do so.” She rolled her eyes with a slight shake of her head. “Norns, why didn’t I think of this before? Here,” her blue skin began to change, shifting to near porcelain in color and her eyes faded to a pale green, “is this better?”

Loki gaped at her in shock, “You… you’re a shapeshifter.”

“I am,” she smiled and in this form, her features actually seemed familiar to Loki. She coaxed him into lying down and adjusted the blankets around him. “You need to rest more. We can talk later.”

Loki could feel fatigue sinking in and he cursed his weakness. He forced himself to sit back up. “No, why am I here? Why are you doing this?”

The look which crossed her face was so similar to his father’s, it was frightening. “I still have people loyal to me and my house who keep tabs on the goings-on of Laufey’s court. When word came that you were Laufey’s first born who had escaped the Æresdrap, that you had succeeded in _killing_ him and were being sent here for execution well, I would not allow that monster to take any more from me. My followers brought you here so that you would be safe.”

“You still haven’t told me who you are.”

“You don’t recognize me?” At Loki’s blank look, she sighed. “Honestly, I can’t say that I’m surprised. I’m sure any portraits of me in the palace depict me to be much younger.”

“I have never been inside Jötunheim’s palace.”

“I’m not talking about Utgardhall. The palace I’m speaking of is Evigborg, Loki. I am Bestla, your grandmother.”

* * *

Frigga watched with a heavy heart as the delegates from Jötunheim arrived. She watched not just them, but everyone else watching them arrive as well. The people murmured to one another as they passed. It had been over a millennia since the Jötnar had been in Asgard proper.

The Jötnar stood head and shoulders above even the tallest Æsir. The Priests were adorned with golden jewels along their horns, which signified their status among the court. They were bare chested but wore long skirt-like garments. The fabric was not a solid piece and it swished between their legs as they walked.

There were two Priestesses with the delegation, their long robes covering them from head to toe. Their hoods were pulled up, hiding their faces. The two sides greeted each other before making their way to the council chambers to begin talks.

Frigga kept herself behind them all, having no interest in speaking about how her son’s death was the price to be paid for peace. She stopped before the chamber and watched as her husband, the curia regis and priests entered before the doors closed. She was a little surprised the priestesses remained outside.

One of them approached her, bowing low. “It is a great honor to meet you, Asgard Queen.”

Only formality kept Frigga from scoffing. “The pleasure is mine, Priestess.”

Her companion glanced down both corridors before approaching as well. “May we have leave to speak with you?”

Confused, and a bit wary, Frigga nodded. She gestured down the hallway. “This way.”

“We cannot be long, lest the priests ask of our whereabouts,” the first woman said.

“They expect you to stand outside the council room doors the entire time?” Frigga asked.

“Not as such but we would rather not take any chances.”

Now Frigga was intrigued. She led them to a nearby receiving room and ordered that refreshments be sent to them.

Thor arrived at the same time as the refreshments. He had obviously not slept the previous evening, as there were dark circles under his eyes. The feel of the room became awkward at his arrival.

The two Giantesses began to speak in hushed tones, the language purposefully obscured so as to make Allspeak useless. Frigga was able to pick out a word or two, “brother” mainly.

Having seemed to come to a decision, the two women lowered their hoods. “I am Astrid and this is Wilhelmina. We have a message for you from our mistress. One we were told only to give to you however,” both pairs of ruby eyes found Thor momentarily, “we can see no reason why the prince cannot hear it as well.”

“Message?” Thor asked.

Frigga was intrigued by their words. “Who is your mistress?”

The two women shared a look. It was obvious the message they carried was of great importance and also a dangerous one at that. “How secure are these walls?” Wilhelmina asked.

Frigga made a small gesture. “The room is now warded. You may speak freely here.”

“Very well,” Astrid nodded. “Prince Loki is alive. We managed to smuggle him to the home of our mistress. She is caring for him while he fights his illness. Your son is safe, my lady queen. Our mistress will allow no harm to come to him.”

Frigga gasped as did Thor. She shared a look with her son, both of them unable to keep hope from sparking within. Frigga closed her eyes and stretched out with her senses, searching for the seiðr bond she shared with Loki. Tears sprung to her eyes when she felt that distant link.

“I can feel his seiðr.” She grasped Astrid’s hand, “Please, who is your mistress?”

“Our mistress is your svigermor.”

“I don’t know that word,” Thor said.

“It means mother-in-law,” Frigga explained. “Queen Bestla is still alive?”

Wilhelmina nodded, “She is.”

“Then we can bring Loki back home,” the excitement in Thor’s voice was infectious. He turned to her. “I will go to Jötunheim,” Thor said. “If what they say is true and Loki is alive, I wish to go retrieve him.”

“You can’t go to Jötunheim.” Astrid said. “That would raise too many suspicions. We will not risk our mistress being found out.”

“No disrespect Priestess, but Loki will not be comfortable there.”

“Loki did not handle the knowledge of his origins well,” Frigga explained. “Although there may be a way.”

“How?” Thor and Wilhelmina asked simultaneously.

“The Bifröst would be too obvious but… At the beginning of the war, the Jötnar did not use the Bifröst, they used a natural path that linked the two realms. It should still be there. The hardest part would be finding it.”

“So I travel to Midgard,” Thor said.

“Yes,” Frigga nodded, “on the pretense of say… checking in on your new friends.”

“Right and I’ll take Fandral and Volstagg with me. They don’t seem to have been affected by whatever is altering people’s behavior.”

“Of what do you speak?” Wilhelmina asked.

“There appears to be an increase in aggressive behavior among some of our people,” Frigga admitted. “We are still trying to understand why.”

“The same can be said of the people of Jötunheim,” Astrid told them. “It is as if someone or something _wants_ the old war to start again.”

Thor grimaced, “That may have been my fault.”

Thor received equally dry looks from the priestesses. “We know of your confrontation with Laufey at Utgardhall. No, your actions did not help the situation any.”

“Laufey was poised to try something desperate,” Wilhelmina added. “The offer of the return of the Casket of Ancient Winters was one he could not pass up.”

Frigga shared a look with Thor then sighed. _Oh Loki…_ “The delegates will demand it as part of the treaty, won’t they?”

“Most likely.”

“Father will never go for that,” Thor said. “Especially after the demand they made for Loki.”

Frigga agreed. “The negotiations will not be quick; Odin will make sure of that.” She nodded to Astrid and Wilhelmina. “Thank you for this information. Please give your mistress my thanks and… let my son know his mother loves and misses him.”

“We will pass your message,” Astrid said. “Should you make it to Jötunheim, head for the Jökel Mountains.”

They partook of their refreshments, to keep up appearances, and then the priestesses returned to the council chamber to await the priests.

Once they were safely alone again, Thor asked, “Do you truly trust their words?”

To be honest, Frigga felt as though what the two women had said was too good to be true. “I want to believe them,” she replied. “I felt Loki’s seiðr, that cannot be faked so he _is_ alive, although I don’t understand why I could not feel it earlier. For the time being, at least. Either way, the faster we can retrieve him from Jötunheim, the better.”

“I agree but is it safe to bring him back here right now? What if someone finds out he’s here before the treaty is finalized? Won’t the Priests demanded Loki be returned? Not to mention our own people, word of Loki’s origins is spreading and… Mother, I’ve never realized how poorly the people think of him. Loki has never done anything to warrant such hatred. Some of the things I’m hearing that he is being blamed for…” Thor shook his head, pain etching itself on his face, “…it’s impossible. It ranges from Loki cursing the crops to fail to undermining Asgard’s security so the Jötnar can invade and kill us all while we sleep. I even overheard one of the nobles say Loki was responsible for General Tyr losing his hand, that Loki cut off in a fit of anger.”

“Loki wasn’t even _born_ when General Tyr lost his hand.”

“I know that but it isn’t stopping them from saying it like it’s the truth. I hate it.”

Frigga did too. “There was never such animosity toward Loki before. Besides the truth of his origins being exposed, what has changed?”

“Could it have anything to do with whatever is changing people’s behavior?”

“Maybe, it does make sense, given the timing.” She ran a hand down her face and took a breath. “When your father emerges from the talks I will inform him of what we’ve spoken of. It may be best for you to head to Midgard as soon as possible. If this… _thing_ continues to spread it may begin to affect you the longer you are here. I will make inquiries myself.”

Thor rose from his seat. “I will find Fandral and Volstagg and we’ll try and find the path through Midgard.” He paused, “I will find him mother but if… if Loki doesn’t wish to come home, I’m not going to force him. Not that I would be able to anyway.”

She smiled slightly at that. “I do want your brother to come home. I want him to be safe but most of all; I want him to be _happy._ If what we are seeing in the people is how he has always been treated then I fear he may not find his happiness here.”

“Then, if it isn’t here then wherever it is,” Thor gave her a small smile, “we will simply have to visit.”

Frigga stood as well and gave Thor a hug. “Be safe.” She watched him leave, her heart breaking just a little more at the thought that both of her children would be gone. She had her own work to do and letting herself fall into a depression was not going to help anyone. First, she needed to consult the library. She had a bad feeling that neither of her boys were safe while whatever it was that swayed people’s hearts was still loose. She and Odin needed to find the source quickly, before they too succumbed to its effects.

* * *

Loki wasn’t sure what to make of everything. It had only been a few days since he had awoken to find himself on Jötunheim. He was healing, the rash and the pain associated with his illness were fading and his skin was returning to a “healthy” blue. It didn’t change that whenever he saw the color of his skin it made him want to vomit.

He also wasn’t quite sure what to make of Bestla, if that’s truly who she is. She kept an Æsir form around him, thinking it would make him feel more comfortable. In all honestly, it only reminded Loki that “Loki” was a lie. “Loki” didn’t exist, he never did. _I’m no one,_ he thought, tracing the lines along the back of his hands. _I’m nothing but a monster._

Depression fell hard upon Loki. He barely ate and found himself sleeping more often than not. This development was not one Bestla was happy about. While she tried speaking with Loki, he only engaged with her long enough to get her to leave him alone. Loki did force himself to eat some when Bestla had threatened to feed him herself.

Loki heard the door to his room open and he quickly closed his eyes. He was in no mood to argue with her right now nor was he particularly looking forward to drinking more Winter Root tea. It was so bitter; Loki was having trouble choking it down anymore. He would _kill_ for some honey.

“Are you awake?”

_That_ was not Bestla’s voice. Loki was conflicted on whether or not to open his eyes and confront this new person. He heard hesitant steps moving closer to his bed.

“Are you awake brother?”

_Brother?_

Loki’s eyes shot open and he saw a Jötunn boy, who couldn’t have been too far into adolescence, standing over him. He scrambled back against the headboard, wishing he could summon a dagger to his hand. His seiðr had weakened from working to heal his illness. It was beyond annoying.

The boy smiled, revealing sharp teeth. Loki instantly ran his tongue over his own teeth. He was relieved when he found them to be as he remembered.

“Oh, you are awake. Hi, I’m Helblindi. I’m your little brother.” The boy frowned, “Maybe not little. I am your youngest brother. Bý is here too but he’s all angry at mormor for something.” He shrugged, “Bý’s always grumpy.”

Loki couldn’t help but blink at the boy in surprise. The only other Jötunn he had met so far was Bestla. He’d never expected for someone, a _Jötunn boy_ , to be this excited to meet him. “Um…”

“Mormor said you’ve got Jövonnkopper.” The boy, Helblindi, frowned again. “I had it, like, two hundred years ago. It was itchy but I didn’t have to do my lessons so that was good. I hate having to read. Reading’s boring.”

“Depends on what you’re reading,” Loki said before he could stop himself. “I could easily lose myself in a book.”

Helblindi rolled his eyes dramatically and flopped down on the end of the bed. Loki pulled his feet to himself to make room. Judging by his size, Helblindi had to already be a head taller than Loki and Helblindi was barely out of childhood from what Loki could tell.

“But reading is _boring._ I’d rather go on an adventure, now that’s fun!”

Loki was reminded of Thor, who would drag Loki away from his books so they could go adventuring. When it was just the two of them Loki could forgive Thor, as they would have a great time. When the Idiots Four were involved, Loki was less forgiving.

A fierce wave of homesickness washed over Loki at the thought of his brother. _Are we even brothers anymore? Were we ever?_

Helblindi rolled onto his stomach, “What’s with the frowney face?”

Loki didn’t get the chance to answer before Bestla’s frustrated voice reached their ears. “Blindi, I _told_ you to leave him alone.” She stepped into the room and ran a hand through her hair when she took them in. “I’m sorry Loki, it has been hard keeping him from disrupting you but he’s been speaking of nothing else.”

“Mormor, can Loki _finally_ get up?” Helblindi asked.

“I think I could do with some fresh air,” Loki said. He adjusted his blankets and realized he had a slight problem. “I would need proper clothes first.”

“No problem!” Helblindi leapt from the bed and rushed from the room, calling behind, “Mormor had Bý get you clothes!”

“Please forgive him,” Bestla said. “He’s been excited ever since you arrived from the city. I think he’s hoping for more stories of Asgard.”

“You tell him stories of Asgard?” Loki asked in surprise.

“Of course, it is part of his heritage after all.”

Helblindi returned with a garment and another, much taller and slightly older Jötunn male. This new male was barely an adult. His horns were more developed than Helblindi’s, the jut of his chin much sharper. Whoever he was, he was the spitting image of Laufey.

Loki had the sudden urge to run his hands through his hair. Did he have horns too? Norns he hoped not. There was so much about this form he didn’t know, even less he _wanted_ to know. _I just want to be me again,_ he thought.

Another thing he hated and didn’t understand was the cold that had settled in his chest as his fever had gone down. He didn’t understand how he could be cold as a Jötunn and yet, he was. He’d refrained from asking Bestla though, as he really didn’t want to know. He had no intention of remaining in this form any longer than he had to.

“Here,” Helblindi said, holding out the garment to Loki, “Now you can go outside.”

Loki’s eyebrows rose when he took in the loincloth he’d been given. “Where’s the rest of it?” Loki had been purposefully ignoring how little the males wore.

The other male scoffed, crossing his arms over his bare chest. “We don’t have the extravagance you are used to, _your majesty._ ”

“Býleistr!” Bestla chastised.

“What?” Býleistr asked. “You have been giving him special treatment ever since he arrived. He’s not some Asgardian prince anymore, why are you treating him like he is?”

“Loki _is_ still a Prince of Asgard and you cannot begrudge him the circumstances of his life. If he had not been taken to Asgard, he would have died as an infant. Be thankful your uncle found him and raised him as his own.”

“Come on Bý,” Helblindi said, “be nice. I’m glad mother and father didn’t kill Loki.” He narrowed his ruby eyes at the older Jötunn, “I bet he’ll be a nicer brother than you.”

Býleistr reached for his brother, “You little!”

Helblindi let out a cry, part fright, part excitement, and dove onto the bed, somehow manageing to hide himself behind Loki.

“Enough,” Bestla yelled, “both of you, _out!_

“But mormor,” Helblindi pled.

Bestla cocked an eyebrow and even Loki reared back slightly at the motherly disapproval in her gaze. “Let Loki have some peace, he doesn’t need you climbing all over him or annoying him at all hours while he’s trying to heal.”

“I’m not annoying him,” Helblindi said, “right Loki?”

“Uh… um…” Loki wasn’t sure how to answer that. He hated to admit that he found the young boy’s attitude intriguing. None of them showed the behavior he had seen in any of the other Jötnar he’d met previously nor at all what he’d been led to believe.

Helblindi’s eyes grew wide, making his expression extremely pathetic, “You think I’m annoying?”

“Of course he does,” Býleistr said, rolling his eyes. “Little brothers are always annoying.”

“But you’re Loki’s little brother too so that means you’re just as annoying.”

Býleistr grabbed Helblindi and pulled him from the bed. “I am not annoying.”

Bestla let out a sound of frustration then her form began to change, becoming Jötnar in appearance and, to Loki’s surprise, grew until she towered over the other two. “I said _out!_ ”

Quickly, the boys scampered from the room. “Sorry mormor!” Helblindi yelled as they ran.

Bestla signed, rubbing her forehead as she returned to her Æsir form. “You don’t have to wear that,” she said, gesturing to the loincloth. “I have clothing your size that you would be more comfortable wearing.”

“Thank you,” Loki said.

“They are in the trunk whenever wish to change. There is a wash room through that door,” she gestured to a door opposite the bed. There was a crash heard in another part of the dwelling. “Now I need to make sure those two aren’t killing each other. I do hope you and Thor were never like this. Norns bless your mother if you were.” Another crash had Bestla rushing from the room.

Loki sat in silence for a time, debating the merits of actually getting out of bed. He cast his gaze around the room; it wasn’t over large and was quite well furnished. The bed sat against the wall to make room for the rather large desk in the corner. The room must have a dual purpose then.

Deciding it would be in his best interest to look around, especially when the time came that he needed to escape, he left the bed and inspected the garments Bestla had left for him.

The trunk contained a few sets of tunics and trousers, in varying shades of blacks and browns, along with a set of black boots. Loki made use of the washroom and changed. The wash and fresh clothes made him feel so much better. _Now if only I could banish this skin._

Steeling himself, he finally left the room and wandered through the house. He was surprised to find that the dwelling was able to accommodate people of all sizes.

There also didn’t seem to be any kind of security that he could see. Loki _was_ a prisoner, wasn’t he? He remained unopposed all the way to the front doors. They were unlocked and he made his way outside.

Loki shivered as cool air washed over him. He wrapped his arms around himself as he wandered further outside. He saw Bestla watching as Helblindi and Býleistr chased each other around the yard. Their antics once again reminded him of him and Thor. More than once had one of them done something that caused the other to give chase through the palace halls.

Loki tipped his head up to take his gaze away from the brothers. The sky was nothing but a sea of stars. The constellations were none he had seen before.

“It is wonderful to see you finally up and around,” Bestla said, coming to stand beside him. Her voice turned concerned, “Are you all right?”

Loki lowered his gaze to meet hers. “I…” He picked at the skin of his hands, still that Norns awful blue. “I want to go home,” he admitted. Loki didn’t know why he told her that. He had no reason to trust her and he had not known her long enough to really take her into his confidence. Yet, it felt freeing to admit such.

“I know this is all strange to you.”

“‘Strange’ doesn’t even begin to cover it. This,” he held up his hands, “isn’t me and yet I can’t… I can’t get _rid_ of it.” He clenched his hands into fists and sharply thrust them down at his sides. “This form is beyond uncomfortable, I’m cold and I don’t recognize it at all. Everything about it just feels _wrong_.”

Amazingly, she didn’t appear offended by his words. “You have not held this form since you were an infant, if I’m not mistaken. I’m not surprised you find it uncomfortable.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

“You’re my grandson and even if you weren’t I would still do what I could to help you.” She seemed to consider something. “Do you feel up to taking a walk?”

“I suppose,” what Loki really wanted right then was to return to the bed and bury himself under the blankets. _Norns_ he was cold.

Bestla smiled fondly. She returned inside momentarily and when she returned she held a cloak in her hands. She wrapped it around his shoulders and Loki instantly felt warmer. “Better?”

Loki nodded.

“Your temperature in this form is a few degrees lower than it is when you hold an Æsir form. I’m sure it will take time for you to become used to it.”

_I don’t want to become used to it,_ he thought petulantly.

She must have read something in his expression because she sighed heavily. “Loki, there is nothing wrong with how you were born.”

“I’m a monster.”

“No, you aren’t. The Jötnar are no more monstrous than the Æsir.”

Loki scoffed, “Right, because everything we were taught about the war was a lie.”

“History is written by the victors and even those who were defeated have their own stories to tell. I can assure you, the same stories parents told their children of the Jötnar in Asgard were the same ones told here to Jötnar children.”

Loki wasn’t entirely convinced. “The Æsir aren’t known for eating people.”

“Neither are the Jötunn and yet…” she spread her hands wide, “both sides tell the same tale.” Bestla’s arms returned to her sides. “The war saw atrocities committed by both Æsir and Jötnar. I will admit, Laufey and his court are responsible for quite a number of them and they truly do embody the meaning of the word ‘monster’ but the Jötunn as a whole do not.”

“Ah, so even if the Jötunn aren’t monsters, I still am by virtue of being Laufey’s spawn.”

“Who your blood father is has no bearing on who you are. Look at Býleistr and Helblindi, do they seem monstrous to you? They share Laufey’s blood, same as you do.”

Loki’s eyes returned to where the brothers continued to roughhouse. They were both laughing in their play. They didn’t… they _seemed_ to be just like everyone else. He returned his gaze to her, feeling even more lost than before. “I… I can’t…”

Her gaze softened. “I’m sorry Loki. I shouldn’t expect you to be accepting of your heritage so quickly. You have been given quite a shock. I would be a fool to think you would be comfortable with it so soon.” She adjusted the cloak around his shoulders. “I want to show you something.” They started down the path leading away from the house. As they passed by the brothers, Bestla said, “Loki and I are going for a walk. Býleistr don’t kill your brother while we’re gone.”

Býleistr looked up from where he had Helblindi in a headlock. “Yes mormor.”

“Good. Helblindi be good for your brother.”

“If I have to mormor,” Helblindi groaned.

“Why do they call you ‘mormor’?” Loki asked as they walked.

“It means ‘grandmother’,’ Bestla explained.

Oh, made sense. They continued on in silence until they came to what appeared to be a small village. Loki stopped in his tracks when his gaze took in what was before him.

There were Jötnar of every size, male and female, milling about. Some had hair, some had horns and some had both. Many were dressed as he was while others wore loincloths and other animal hides. It was… incongruous with everything Loki had learned growing up.

“You see,” Bestla said softly, “they are people, same as the Æsir. This village is the true Jötunheim. What Laufey and his court did to our culture is not who we really are.”

They wandered through the village, examining the different wares various vendors had for sale. Loki observed everything silently, waiting for the moment his identity was revealed, waiting for the moment he would be attacked. It never happened, much to his amazement.

Bestla exchanged pleasantries with some of the Jötnar they passed. It was amazing to Loki to see so many similarities between this village and the outlying villages of Asgard. There were parents trying to keep their children in line, an elderly couple out for a stroll and even a group of children playing some game with a ball. It was so _normal._

Loki kept silent, observing everything around them as they walked. What his eyes were telling him and the lessons he’d been given as a child did not match, at all. Had _everything_ in his life been a lie?

They returned to the house and Loki felt fatigue wash over him. The walk had taken more out of him than he’d expected. _It can’t all have been a lie,_ Loki thought as he crawled back into his bed. He pulled the blankets up and buried his face against his pillow. _The Jötnar are monsters,_ he reminded himself. He knew the atrocities committed by Laufey and his armies. That couldn’t have all been a lie.

_He left you to die,_ that vile voice from before reminded him. _He would have killed Odin, killed Frigga and led his armies to invade Asgard. It would have been a_ glorious _bloodbath._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Mormor" is Sweedish for "grandmother", "svigermor" is Danish for "Mother-in-law" and "Æresdrap" is Norweagen for "Honor Killings" or so Google Translate tells me.
> 
> I've taken creative liberties with characters physical ages. For Loki and Thor, I took the actors actual ages when the first "Thor" came out and flipped them since Tom is older than Chris. Go figure. So Loki is 28 and Thor is 30. For Helblindi and Býleistr I just made it up. Helblindi is about 12 and Býleistr is about 19.


	7. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and company return to Midgard, Odin contemplates murder and Loki is still trying to make sense of everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Morfar is Danish for grandfather on the maternal side. Turns out, there's two words for grandma and grandpa, one for your mother's side and one for your father's side. Thank's to Moonybird for the clarification on the language.

**_Seven_ **

Thor, Volstagg and Fandral walked down the ruined streets of Puente Antiguo. The Destroyer had caused a significant amount of damage to the town. Thor felt terrible for what had happened to the town but given what he now knew about Loki’s ailment and… everything else, he couldn’t help but believe Loki hadn’t been in total control of the Destroyer.

The three made their way to the building Thor remembered belonging to Lady Jane for her research. He hoped they were still there and hadn’t left to pursue the research mentioned by the Son of Coul. He felt a wave of relief when he saw movement inside.

It was Lady Darcy who spotted them first. She gestured wildly at them before sprinting over to the door.

“Thor!” Lady Darcy yelled. “You’re back.”

She was followed quickly by Lady Jane and Doctor Selvig. Lady Jane’s eyes lit up when she saw him. Thor felt his own heart flutter in his chest. Once again, her radiance took his breath away.

“What happened?” Lady Jane asked, breaking Thor out of his thoughts. “Is everything all right?”

She motioned for them to come inside, which they did. “I wish I could say all was well,” Thor said. “Unfortunately that is not the case. I am in need of your assistance.”

“Yeah, anything,” Lady Jane replied without hesitation. Her expression was one of concern. “What happened in Asgard?”

Thor exchanged a look with his friends then proceeded to tell the three Midgardians everything that had transpired since his return. The tale was a long one with still so many unanswered questions. The Midgardians listened intently and by the end of his tale, both Lady Jane and Lady Darcy appeared on the verge of tears. Doctor Selvig looked a cross between angry and flabbergasted.

“You actually want Loki back?” Doctor Selvig asked after a prolonged silence. He gestured towards the windows. “After everything he did here, after he _killed_ you, you want him back?”

“Loki was extremely I’ll at the time,” Thor repeated. “I doubt he had any real control over the Destroyer once it arrived here.”

“Yeah but…” Doctor Selvig stood from the table they had all gathered around and retrieved a book of mythology. Doctor Selvig flipped through the pages until he came to the entry on Loki. The picture was hideous and showed Loki to be menacing with a coiled snake hanging behind him. “Do you have any idea how our mythos portray Loki?”

Thor wasn’t sure he wanted the answer. If it was anything like what they were beginning to see in Asgard…

“Loki is a Trickster,” Doctor Selvig explained.

“Yes,” Thor replied. That wasn’t exactly news.

“Tricksters are the embodiment of chaos and evil.”

“My brother is not evil!” Thor roared.

“Well, according to this, that’s exactly what he is. He’s a destroyer of worlds. It’s said that Loki will be the one to usher in Ragnarök.”

Thor’s jaw dropped, Fandral and Volstagg let out exclamations of their own. “You can’t be serious?” Fandral asked.

Volstagg grabbed the book and read the entry. “This is utter garbage.” He jabbed a finger at the pages, “This also says Loki gave birth to Sleipnir. That horse is older than both princes.”

Fandral’s eyes bulged. He pulled the book to him, his eyes seemed to somehow become wider the more he read. “Wow this is… uh… quite graphic. Loki is not going to be happy when he finds out about this.”

“Give me that,” Thor growled, snatching the book and reading it too. “Where by the _Nine_ did Midgardians come up with _this_ load of bull? None of this is correct.”

“Wait, Loki gave birth to a horse?” Lady Darcy asked.

“No,” he, Fandral and Volstagg said simultaneously.

Thor read on, okay so maybe there was a grain of truth to some of the stories. Loki did have his mouth sewn shut although the circumstances behind which it happened were quite different from what was described. This book also made both Thor and Loki to be much older than they were. Mjölnir and Gungnir had been forged _long_ before either of them were born.

Thor felt sick as he pushed the book away from him. How long had Loki been seen in such a way. Thor racked his brain, trying to figure out when things had begun to change. Loki hadn’t always been so closed off, at one time he had been just as outgoing as Thor was. He suddenly recalled the sadness that would reflect in Loki’s eyes whenever his brother thought no one was looking. Why had Thor never seen it?

_Because you’re a self-centered asshole, that’s why,_ his mind supplied.

A gentle hand came to rest on his arm, “Thor?” Lady Jane asked with worry.

“I want my brother back,” Thor said, “but I fear I may have lost him a long time ago. I was just too self-absorbed to see it.”

“You said you needed our help,” Lady Jane reminded him. “What can we do?”

Thor mentally shook himself. He didn’t have time to be self-deprecating. He could mentally rip himself a new one later. “Loki was sent to Jötunheim to be executed,” Thor explained. “Mother and I received word that he is still alive. We,” he gestured to Fandral, Volstagg and himself, “need to get to Jötunheim.”

“Why not use the Biföst?” Lady Darcy asked.

“It would be too obvious,” Fandral said.

She grinned, “Oh, spec-ops mission then.”

“‘Spec-ops’?” Volstagg asked.

“Special operations,” Doctor Selvig explained. “It’s generally used by military and law enforcement when things can’t be done conventionally.”

“Oh, then yes, that’s exactly what we’re doing.”

“Infiltrating the enemy stronghold, sounds exciting,” Lady Darcy said.

“Sounds dangerous,” Lady Jane commented drily. “How do you know it’s not a trap?”

“We don’t,” Thor replied honestly, “but even if it is, Loki is my brother and I’m not about to just leave him there. He’s…” Thor recalled the terror Loki had had of the Jötnar when they were children. He’d had a fear of the dark for most of their early childhood, he absolutely _hated_ the cold and…

_“Don’t let the red eyes get me.”_

Whenever Loki had the “Bad Dream” where the “red eyes” would chase him, he had always ended up curled against Thor for the following nights. Thor thought he now understood where some of that came from. Loki had been abandoned by creatures with red eyes as a child and left to die. Even if the Jötnar as a whole weren’t monsters, something he was still trying to wrap his head around, the ones who had left Loki to such a horrible fate _definitely_ were. Loki himself was not a monster even if he was born Jötunn. Thor would _never_ think of Loki as such.

Thor wasn’t about to reveal to his new friends that Loki was Jötunn. That was too personal for Loki and it wasn’t Thor’s to reveal as it was. “He doesn’t belong there,” he said instead.

“So how, exactly, do you want us to help you?”

“A thousand years ago, Jötunheim invaded Midgard thinking to take this realm for itself. The Jötunn didn’t come here via Bifröst, they used a natural pathway. We need to find that pathway.”

The three Midgardian’s eyes widened in shock. “Earth is connected to other worlds through magic?” Lady Darcy asked.

“It’s not magic,” Lady Jane said with a roll of her eyes. “It has to be something else.” She turned to Thor, “What would we be looking for exactly?”

“I’m not quite sure,” Thor admitted. “Loki would know more about such pathways better than me.”

“Frost Giants,” Doctor Selvig said, “that’s another name for the Jötunn.”

“Yes.”

“So they would have to have someplace cold to live.”

Thor honestly wasn’t exactly versed on Jötunn physiology, however from the stories that were told, it was possible for them to survive in warmer climates. “Not necessarily but I think that’s where they would be most comfortable.”

“What are you thinking,” Lady Darcy asked, “Antarctica?”

“Too far south,” Doctor Selvig said, scratching his chin. “You have to take into account that there is a lot of lore surrounding Asgard, Jötunheim and the rest. If they’d shown up in Antarctica I doubt we’d have that lore. The best place to look would probably be Scandinavia. Norway might be even better.”

“That still doesn’t give me anything to actually look for,” Lady Jane said.

“Ley lines,” Lady Darcy said. Everyone looked at her. “What? I had a friend in high school who was pagan.”

“She might be onto something,” Doctor Selvig said. “It’s thought that most of the ancient structures were built in line with the earth’s magnetic ley lines.”

“Would they give off an energy signature similar to the Einstein-Rosen Bridge?” Lady Jane asked.

“Maybe,” Thor said.

Lady Jane stood from the table. “I’m glad SHIELD gave back all of the equipment they took,” she said. “Fingers crossed they’ll be sensitive enough to find this portal.”

* * *

Frigga waited for Odin to be finished with his meetings. They had been going on for days and her nerves were beginning to drive her mad. She had heard no word from Thor, not that she had expected to, and she knew she could not trust Heimdall’s sight so she wasn’t about to ask him either.

Frigga would deny the yelp of fright she let out when Odin stormed into their chambers. Her husband was absolutely _livid._ She watched him practically throw Gungnir across the room. Her anxiety grew. “Odin?” she asked tentatively.

“I have _fools_ for counselors,” her husband growled. “We have been talking in circles for days and… if I hear one more time how Loki’s ‘ _sacrifice_ ’ was for the benefit of both realms, so help me Frigga, I will murder them.”

Odin was shaking in his rage and she moved over to his side, hoping to soothe him some. The amount of stress he was under would likely force him into another Odinsleep. That he hadn’t succumbed once again after forcing himself from the last one was a miracle. Should he succumb this time, she would not be able to stay by his side. She would have to rule Asgard, or worse, Chancellor Imir would serve as regent.

She ran a hand across his shoulders. “Word has spread among the people of Loki’s origins. How the Regis is playing it…” she took a breath, “they act as though Loki was a stain upon our family.”

“What of the people?” Odin asked.

“Their reactions are mixed. Some are in disbelief; some are indifferent while others claim they now understand what was wrong with Loki all along.”

“There is nothing wrong with Loki.” Odin shook his head. “If I wasn’t sure it would do more harm than good right now, I’d remind the people of my own heritage.”

“I’m not sure they would believe it,” Frigga said.

“Unfortunately, neither do I,” Odin agreed. “All anyone can recall anymore is the war. It is as though the animosity between the realms is all that ever existed. I have even begun to hear such talk about our relationship with Vanaheim.”

“What?”

“I have heard many speak of the Æsir-Vanir War in the same way.”

“The Æsir-Vanir War ended millennia ago.”

“Yes, but those old grudges are coming back to the forefront.”

Nothing made sense. What was the cause of all this hatred?

“While the talk against Vanaheim is nowhere near as severe as the talk against Jötunheim, it may be safer for you to leave Asgard for a while,” Odin continued.

Frigga stepped around her husband to face him fully, one eyebrow cooked. “You think I would flee Asgard?”

“I want you safe, my love.”

“Do you think so little of my skills?”

“Not at all but, what would the boys think should they return home to find you have been injured?”

Hands on hips, Frigga shook her head. “That is playing dirty.”

“Will you find safe haven then?”

“I am safe here,” Frigga replied. “I cannot help my sons if I am in another Realm.”

“It isn’t safe for Loki here now as it is. We don’t know what his condition will be either. Loki may be safer with your brother on Vanaheim. The Vanir have never held the same kind of ill will against the Jötunar as the Æsir. I will not bring him back here just to have all of this happen again.”

It galled Frigga to realize her husband was right. That didn’t stop her from making her own point. “What would happen if I were to leave and you fall into the Odinsleep once again? You forced yourself from the one you should still _be_ in. If the boys and I are gone…”

“That would make Chancellor Imir regent until I awaken or either you or Thor returned.” Displeasure etched itself in his features. “I still believe you should go to Vanaheim and speak to your brother. At the very least, we can insure Loki will have a safe place to go until he can return here.” He took a seat in one of the chairs, his whole body sagging. “We also need to consider that Loki may not want to come home.”

Frigga refused to believe that. “Why wouldn’t…” she stopped herself. Her heart broke at the thought. “I hate this,” she said, sitting beside her husband and leaning against him. “I hate everything about this. I want my boy’s home.”

Odin wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “So do I.”

They sat in silence, their thoughts swirling around not just what was causing the changes in the Realms, but what the future held for their sons and their family as a whole.

* * *

Loki lay curled up underneath a mound of blankets. He had been ignoring Bestla and Helblindi ever since he and Bestla had returned from their walk. Luckily, Býleistr seemed to be going out of his way to avoid Loki as well. Býleistr had an attitude and Loki felt that if the two of them ended up in the same room together for too long, Loki may end up killing the Jötunn. Loki pulled the blankets further over his head. He should be used to people hating him for no reason by now.

Loki somehow managed to (valiantly he may add) suppress a groan when he heard the door to his room open again. It had to be Helblindi. Bestla at least had the courtesy to knock.

“Brother?” Helblindi asked softly.

Loki hoped that if he didn’t move, maybe Helblindi would think he was sleeping. He wasn’t holding his breath though.

Loki could hear movement in the room and he couldn’t help his groan when the blankets were gently pulled away from his face. Loki cracked an eye, hoping he could impart upon the Jötunn boy just how unimpressed he was.

“Oh, you’re awake,” Helblindi said happily.

“I am now,” Loki replied drily. He wasn’t about to tell the boy that he hadn’t been sleeping as it was.

Obviously not taking the hint, Helblindi sat on the bed. “You’ve been sleeping a lot. Mormor said you were almost better. Why are you so sad?”

“I’m not sad.”

“If you’re not sad then why do you look like it?”

Loki sat up. He realized there was no point in trying to explain his feelings to the boy since he was still trying to sort them out himself. “This is all new to me,” he eventually said. He held up a hand. Loki had been trying for the past few days to shift his form back to his Ǽsir visage but hadn’t been successful. His seiðr no longer felt weak so he couldn’t understand why he was unable to change back.

_Maybe it’s because it’s not your true form?_ that damnable voice sneered. _You are a monster after all._ It laughed, _You’re so-called_ Ǽsir _form never existed. It was another illusion Odin used to control you_.

He forced the voice to quiet. “I’m not used to this at all.” He pushed the blankets back and moved to sit on the side of the bed. “When I see this it turns my stomach. I’m not supposed to have blue skin. It feels wrong.”

Helblindi appeared very confused. “But you’re Jötunn like me, our skin is supposed to be blue. How can it be wrong?”

Loki sighed. “I’ve lived my whole life as an Æsir. In my mind, I am Æsir.”

“But…” Helblindi seemed to become even more confused. “But you’re not Æsir. Well, not completely. Morfar was Æsir so I guess that makes us kind of Æsir, but we’re mostly Jötunn.”

Loki decided to try a different approach. “Imagine living your whole life as a Jötunn, only to be told one day that you aren’t actually Jötunn at all, but Æsir and then your form is changed to one you don’t recognize.”

“Oh,” Helblindi looked at his own hands. “I guess that would be weird. I can’t imagine being stuck with pale skin.”

Loki hummed, “That is what I am going through right now.” They both turned their gazes towards the door when loud voices echoed from the front of the home. Loki frowned then slipped his boots on and went to investigate.

Helblindi followed after him. “What’s Bý yelling about now?” groaned Helblindi.

“Your brother doesn’t like me very much, does he?” Loki asked.

“He’s your brother too.”

As soon as they entered the main living area, Býleistr stopped yelling and turned his red-eyed glare on Loki for a moment. “I have to return to the city,” Býleistr said to Bestla. “With father dead, the priests are looking to crown me soon.” To Loki he said, “Thank you for that.”

“I killed Laufey,” Loki said. He couldn’t say he felt any guilt over the action.

“Good,” Helblindi said.

That surprised Loki. “You’re glad I killed your father?”

Býleistr snorted. “What father? We were nothing more than pawns to him. He’s the reason mother is in the state she’s in.”

“Farbauti is alive?”

Býleistr snorted again and folded his arms across his chest. “If you want to call her current state living, but now that father’s dead, Jötunheim is my responsibility. I want nothing to do with the mess Laufey left behind.”

“I know you need to keep appearances,” Bestla said, “but I still don’t like it.”

“Well, unlike one of us, I won’t have people falling over themselves to help me.”

“What by the Nine are you talking about?” Loki asked. “What is your problem? I don’t particularly care that you don’t like me but the constant animosity is becoming quite annoying.”

Býleistr dropped his arms and stalked towards Loki. Loki cocked an eyebrow at the poor attempt at intimidation. Býleistr may be taller than Loki but he was nowhere near as frightening as an angry Odin.

“My ‘problem’ with you is _everything_ about you.”

“Býleistr, enough,” Bestla yelled.

Loki held up a hand. “No, let him speak.”

“A thousand years. One thousand years you were living it up in Asgard, being waited on hand and foot, your every desire handed to you without a thought and the whole time you _never_ once considered what _we_ were going through. You never cared about _our_ struggle.”

“I didn’t even know you existed, let alone that I share a generic tie to you. As for my life in Asgard…” Loki paused. His life hadn’t been all bad. There were many good memories but also bad ones too. He’d never been as well loved as Thor, nowhere near as popular. Thor was the sun and Loki… Loki was the shadows cast by the light. “It wasn’t as perfect as you seem to think,” he finished.

Býleistr scoffed, “No wonder they call you the God of Lies. If I didn’t know better I would believe you.”

Loki rolled his eyes and pushed past Býleistr. “What you do or don’t believe is not my concern.”

“It should be. It wouldn’t be anything to tell them where you are.”

Loki stopped and slowly turned back around. “Am I supposed to be frightened?”

“Bý, stop,” Helblindi pled. “None of us knew Loki was our brother until he was sent here. Why are you angry at him about that? Mormor said Loki didn’t know either.”

“It still doesn’t change anything,” Býleistr said. There was pain in his eyes now. “You _left_ us here,” Býleistr’s voice shook. “You left us with _Laufey_.”

“Bý,” Helblindi whined.

“I refuse to feel guilt for something I knew nothing about,” Loki said evenly.

“Býleistr, Loki, enough,” Bestla said, stepping between them. She faced Býleistr, “I’ve told you, you cannot begrudge Loki his life.”

Býleistr let out a noise of disgust then left the house. Helblindi chased after him.

Bestla rubbed her eyes then pinched the bridge of her nose. “Did you have to antagonize him?”

“What would you have me say to him? That I feel guilt? Now _that_ would be a lie.”

She lowered her hand. “He’s not really angry at you, he’s angry at Laufey, you just happen to be an easy target. Up until the Asgard curia regis sent you here and revealed that you were Laufey’s missing first born, we only knew you to be their cousin.”

“How could you not have known?” Loki asked, suddenly curious.

Bestla heaved a full body sigh. She gestured to a nearby couch, which they sat at. “I didn’t know Farbauti had given birth until after she and Laufey had already take you to the temple. Even then, she refused to tell me anything about you beyond that her ‘blight’ had been removed. I went to the temple to try to find you but I was already too late. All I found were bodies and blood.

“I had no reason to suspect that you were Farbauti’s child when Odin announced your birth. The timeline of your birth fit with Frigga’s pregnancy announcement. I suspect she must have miscarried and never told anyone. I both mourned and celebrated your birth. When I learned you were the same grandchild I thought I had lost, I knew I could not let Laufey’s court to take you from me again.”

“I think Helblindi expects me to stay here.”

“He is excited to have another brother.”

“Except, he doesn’t,” Loki said. He felt as though he no longer had any control over his life, that he had to just accept, no _embrace,_ he was Jötunn and begin to live his life here anew. “We may share a genetic tie but we aren’t brothers. We aren’t family. I don’t _know_ any of you. I will admit, you aren’t anything like what I was taught the Jötnar to be but that doesn’t mean I can just embrace this.”

“I don’t expect you to.”

Loki blew out a breath, “You may not but…” His eyes flickered to the door the brothers had disappeared through.

“I will speak with him.”

Bestla squeezed his shoulder then stood from the couch. In the silence of the empty room, Loki let his mind wander. He looked at his hand and tried to call forth his seiðr and was glad to see wisps of green move around his fingers. He concentrated on shifting back to his Æsir form with no success. _Why can’t I change?_

Loki’s melancholy only worsened more and more with each failure. Loki couldn’t help his grimace when Bestla returned with a steaming mug in her hands. “Is there any way to sweeten that?”

She handed him the mug. “Ironically adding any kind of sweetener only makes it worse.”

Loki blew on the tea until it was cool enough to drink. For the first time, he thought about the powers he technically had due to his heritage. He mentally shook his head; the idea of possibly learning to control those powers turned his stomach.

He needed to focus on something more important right now, like managing to drink the tea without gagging. Bracing himself, he downed the entire cup in one go. A full-bodied shudder ran through him and he couldn’t help his exclamation of disgust. “That is vile,” he said.

Bestla chuckled. “Of course it is.”

Feeling somewhat restless now, Loki returned the mug to the kitchen then pulled on the cloak Bestla had given him and stepped outside. Loki honestly had nowhere to go but just being outside helped some. He still hadn’t gotten used to the stars nor the perpetual night. Did the sun never reach Jötunheim?

Loki inspected his surroundings to be sure he was alone then closed his eyes and concentrated. He’d never had such trouble returning to his natural form… his heart sank. He would always think of his Æsir form as his natural form, even though he now knew it wasn’t. He _hated_ that.

Loki took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. Returning to what _he_ considered to be his natural form should be as easy as breathing. It had never been hard before and Loki had taken many different shapes over the centuries.

His lips curled up slightly into a smile as he recalled one of the first times he had turned himself into a snake. When Thor had found him, he had been so excited that he had picked Loki up, not knowing that it was actually Loki, and rushed to show him. Loki had changed back, laughing at Thor’s look of surprise, and tickled him. Whenever Thor told the story, the tickling turned into a stabbing. Thor was just embarrassed that he had been fooled so easily. After that, Loki would constantly find new ways to fool his brother.

With his mind now turned to his brother, and Loki couldn’t help but continue to think of Thor as his brother, he wondered how Thor would react to see him now. His memories of his last few days in Asgard were fuzzy at best. He remembered _feelings._ Pain, anxiety, fear… those were at the forefront of his memory. He thought he remembered Thor entering his room in the healing halls but Loki couldn’t trust that the memory was real. The Thor of that memory did not have the rage that the Thor in the Observatory had held.

_If Thor finds you, he will kill you. You can never go back. You cannot stay here either. Do you really believe Thor will just let you go?_ The voice cackled. _Thor will hunt you down. Nowhere is safe._

Loki shook his head, dispelling the voice. His thoughts of late seemed as though they belonged to someone else. _I want to be me again,_ he thought, _it shouldn’t be this hard._

Loki recalled his seiðr lessons from long ago. He fought for the calm he was taught to have when he was casting spells. Loki hadn’t actually cast a spell in what seemed like forever. His skill had become second to none and in many respects, Loki only had to _will_ his seiðr to do something and it would happen. _So why can’t I change back?_

His sense of calm vanished and he let out a growl of frustration. There had to be something else going on. Maybe his illness was still impacting his ability.

_Except that Bestla said I was nearly healed._ His chest constricted at his next thought. _What if I’m stuck like this forever._

Loki moved to sit on a low rock wall along the front of the property and wrapped the cloak more around himself. The sky was cloudless, giving him an unobstructed view of the stars. He wondered which star belonged to Asgard. His homesickness grew the more he thought about the Realm Eternal. He wondered if anyone missed him. Frigga most likely did and maybe Odin but anyone else, not likely.

The sound of someone, or several someone’s, running up the road drew Loki out of his musings. He saw Helblindi and a couple of other Jötunn children running up the path.

“Mormor!” Helblindi yelled. “Mormor, come quick!”

“What is it?” Loki asked as they ran past him.

Bestla came out at Helblindi’s cry. He skidded to a halt right before the door. “Mormor,” Helblindi gasped, gesturing wildly in the direction he had come from, “th-there’s… there’s Æsir here! It’s… It’s… Come on!”

Helblindi didn’t wait for a reply before he and the other children began to run back the way they’d come. Loki and Bestla followed after them. Loki wondered _why_ there were Æsir in Jötunheim. Was Asgard invading?

They made their way quickly down the path leading to the small village, coming to a stop before entering the village proper. There were only three Æsir and Loki recognized each of them. _They’ve come for me_ , he thought. _Thor has finally decided to kill me._

For a moment, Loki thought to turn and flee but… he knew Thor. Once Thor got it in his mind to do something, _nothing_ could persuade him to change his mind. It was one of the reasons they had ended up in Jötunheim to begin with and how Loki had come to know the awful truth of his birth.

Thor’s eyes found him and Loki closed his own. He wasn’t brave enough to watch Thor kill him. He wouldn’t run, but he couldn’t have the last image of his brother be one of bloodlust.

“Loki!” Thor cried. Surprisingly, there didn’t seem to be anger in his voice.

Loki braced himself, waiting for the blows from Mjölnir to start. Snow crunched underneath Thor’s boots as he rushed for Loki. Loki swallowed, trying to slow his rapidly beating heart. He let out a yelp as Thor pulled him into a tight embrace, lifting Loki’s feet from the ground with the force of his hug.

“You’re alive,” Thor breathed. “When they told us… I still feared…” Thor’s arms tightened for a moment. When he pulled back, Loki saw tears in his eyes. “I’m so sorry brother.”

“I’m not your brother,” Loki said weakly.

Thor cupped the side of his face. Loki gasped as he felt himself _finally_ returning to his Æsir form. “I don’t care where you were born or to whom,” Thor said. “You will _always_ be my brother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we backtrack a little to see Thor's journey to Jötunheim.


	8. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor's journey to Jötunheim form his point of view.

**_Eight_ **

Thor sat in the Midgardian flying contraption, something they called an airplane, praying to the Norns that he wouldn’t be sick. Fandral and Volstagg were more at ease but unlike Thor, they couldn’t fly under their own power. Not having control right now was making Thor very anxious.

“Are you okay?” Lady Jane asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Thor nodded, forcing himself to smile. He didn’t exactly trust his voice at the moment.

“They say flying is the safest way to travel,” Lady Darcy said.

The plane shuddered and Thor gripped the chair tighter.

“The God of Thunder afraid to fly,” Doctor Selvig said with a shake of his head. “Who would have thought?”

“Our skiffs are a bit more smooth,” Fandral said.

“It’s just a little turbulence,” Lady Darcy said. “It’s not like the pilot is going to come running out yelling, ‘we’re going down!’”

“Darcy!” Lady Jane yelled. “My God, that’s not exactly helping.”

Lady Darcy smirked. “I’m just teasing.”

“How did you manage to procure our transportation?” Volstagg asked, changing the subject.

“A fellow scientist was nice enough to let us borrow one of his planes,” Lady Jane replied.

“I’m not sure ‘scientist’ is the right word,” Doctor Selvig said drily.

“His methods are a little… unorthodox, but so are mine. If we can track down this natural gateway, imagine what we could do with that data?”

“I am,” Doctor Selvig said, “and I’m not sure it’s a good idea to go poking at things that are so far outside our understanding. What if we do find a portal and go through it, what guarantee is there we could ever get back?”

“I would offer to use the Bifröst to bring you back here,” Thor said, “but if we do find the portal to Jötunheim, you can’t go.”

Lady Jane gaped at him. “You can’t be serious. Of course I’m going with you.”

“Jane—” Doctor Selvig began.

“Think about it Erik, we could actually find a way to another _world._ ”

“Jötunheim isn’t a realm you are prepared to travel to,” Thor said. “It is a realm of perpetual winter.”

“I didn’t exactly see any of you guys pack winter jackets,” Lady Darcy said.

Fandral gestured to the packs they had brought with them. “We are traveling light but Queen Frigga enchanted out cloaks to keep us warm.”

“We also don’t know where in Jötunheim we will arrive, nor how far away the Jökel Mountains are,” Thor added. “I will not risk your safety.”

Lady Jane narrowed her eyes at him. “Fine, but once this is over I want all the details.” Thor nodded his acceptance of her demand.

“How much longer until we arrive?” Volstagg asked.

“A couple more hours,” Doctor Selvig replied. “We should get to Norway by early evening, local time. I doubt you want to wait to begin searching so I would suggest everyone try and get some rest.”

“How did you even come up with where we’re going anyway?” asked Lady Darcy.

“A little over a thousand years ago there was a rapid freeze around Tønsberg but researchers still have no idea how the weather went from summer to winter literally overnight. It was like Pompeii, only instead of a pyroclastic flow it was a flash freeze.”

“The Casket of Ancient Winters,” Fandral said. “It has the power to do such a thing.”

Thor lay his head back against the seat, gripping the arms when the plane shuddered again. He closed his eyes, trying to calm his swirling emotions. His mind kept returning to what he had seen in Loki’s room, the absolute _terror_ in his brother’s eyes. Thor hated that he was the cause of Loki’s fright. He was supposed to _protect_ Loki, not make him cower in fear.

Thor wanted nothing more than to find his brother and bring him home, where he would be safe. So much had changed in such a short amount of time and, quite frankly, Thor’s head was still spinning from it. Thor wished for things to return to normal but deep down he knew, nothing would ever be the same again.

* * *

The plane landed in Norway in the early evening, as Doctor Selvig said it would. However, by the time they passed through customs, gathered their things and were finally on their way, it was well into the evening. They decided to spend the night in a nearby inn and begin their search in the morning.

They spent the next couple of days exploring the village of Tønsberg. Lady Jane kept adjusting one of the instruments she carried with her. One day, Doctor Selvig led them to a stone building. It was old, by Midgardian standards, but Thor thought there was something familiar in the architecture.

They stepped inside and whatever Lady Jane was holding began to beep. “I’m picking up an energy signature,” she said.

“Really?” Doctor Selvig and Lady Darcy asked simultaneously.

Lady Jane nodded and pointed to the back of the building. “That way.”

Thor wished he had a better understanding of seiðr so that he could be of more help to Lady Jane. He wished he had paid more attention when Loki had tried to explain his craft to Thor instead of jesting about it. Loki was the most skilled seiðrmar Thor knew. Why had ne never taken the time to praise Loki’s skill?

If they found Loki… _When,_ he thought forcefully, _when we find Loki…_ he would make sure Loki knew how proud of his ability Thor was.

_“Can I help you?”_

Thor turned and saw an older Midgardian approaching them. By the blank look on his Midgardian friend’s faces, they obviously didn’t understand what the man had said. Actually, the language felt familiar to Thor.

_“We’re looking for something,”_ Thor replied.

The man looked at them suspiciously. _“If you are looking to strengthen your connection to God, I can help you. If you are looking for money or something else, you will need to go elsewhere.”_

“Hey,” Lady Darcy poked Thor in his side, “what’s he saying?”

The man switched to English. “Is there something I can help you with?” he repeated.

“What can you tell us about the history of the church?” Doctor Selvig asked.

“It was built around 1000 AD and nearly destroyed in World War II when it was bombed by the SS in ‘42.” The man shook his head. “Apparently they thought there was a ‘great power’ hidden in the church. Something that apparently belonged to the Norse god, Odin.”

That drew everyone’s attention. “But you don’t believe that?” Lady Jane asked.

The man shrugged, “I’m a Man of the Cloth, ma’am. My belief is in God. What ancient Scandinavia believed is nothing more than myths and legends. The Norse Gods don’t exist, however… according to local legend, blue giants appeared here over one thousand years ago and froze the village, killing nearly everyone in the village and surrounding area. This church was apparently built upon the site they appeared.”

“Do you think your dad left something here to keep the Jötunn from coming back?” Lady Jane asked.

Thor shrugged, “Possibly but that doesn’t really make any sense. At the end of the war, Father took the Casket of Ancient Winters, effectively neutralizing Laufey’s power. He also had Heimdall keep an eye on Midgard to make sure Laufey never tried to conquer the Realm again.”

“So the portal may actually be in this building,” Volstagg asked.

“Well, if the king _did_ leave something behind,” Fandral said, “he… hey, look at this.” He moved over to an intricate carving along the back of the church. Thor stepped closer and saw it was a rather beautiful and quite detailed carving of Yggdrasil.

Thor recalled a similar carving in Asgard’s library, Loki had attempted to recreate as a drawing. Loki had only been a child at the time but Thor remembered Loki’s pride when he’d finally finished. Thor had praised his artistic skill for decades.

_If only I had done the same with his seiðr._

“That is an original carving,” the elder Midgardian said as he stepped up beside Thor. There was a knowing gleam to his eye. “It survived the bombing but unfortunately the item it contained was stolen. We were never able to recover it.”

“What are you talking about?” Thor asked.

“An item that was kept and protected by the keepers of this church for centuries, the Tesseract.”

Thor spun to face the man. Fandral and Volstagg gaped as well while the other three Midgardian’s only appeared confused. “The Tesseract?” Thor asked.

The man nodded. “Yes, it was stolen in the war and never recovered. Since then we have been keeping extra guard over the portal it had kept shut.”

“Wait a second,” Doctor Selvig cried, “I thought you didn’t believe in the Norse Gods?”

The church keeper shrugged. “I will admit, as a general rule I hadn’t, but every keeper of this church is sworn to guard the old traditions, no matter how ridiculous they may seem. When you mentioned the Casket, I knew you were not what you appeared to be.”

“What does this Casket have to do with anything?”

“The Casket of Ancient Winters is what the Jötunn used to freeze most of the surrounding area,” the man explained. “It’s also an item that is _not_ in any of the mythology. Only someone with intimate knowledge of this church or someone from beyond this Realm would know of it.”

“Talk about a quick change of heart,” Lady Darcy commented.

“You’ll have to forgive me miss, but it was quite obvious to me when your friend replied to my inquiry in the Asgardian dialect.”

“Is that what you were speaking?” Lady Jane asked.

The man nodded, “The villagers know the importance of the church but outsiders, not so much.”

“You weren’t speaking Asgardian,” Volstagg pointed out.

“Not exactly,” the man replied. “It’s a dialect that was created during the Ǽsir-Jötunn War that was passed down to our people. It’s more a mix of Allspeak, Asgardian and Norse.”

Which explained why Thor was able to understand it. “You say the Tesseract was kept here to keep a portal closed?”

The man nodded, “Yes. There is a natural pathway between Midgard and Jötunheim within this church. It has been our responsibility to guard it lest the Jötunn try invading again.”

Thor couldn’t believe their luck. The very portal they were looking for was _right here!_ They may not know how far from the Jökel Mountains they would be once they passed though, no idea _what_ they would find on the other side but it was one-step closer to finding Loki.

“I feel that is why you have come here,” the man continued. “You wish to make use of the portal.”

“Yes,” Thor replied, “my brother was sent to Jötunheim and I plan to get him back.”

The man hummed. “Your brother wouldn’t happen to be the Trickster Loki, would he?”

Surprised, Thor nodded, “Yes.”

“You should know; something dark circles your brother. If your bond with him is strong, you will prevail. If not, you will lose him forever.”

Thor did _not_ like the sound of that. “What is after Loki?”

“That I cannot say.”

“Can’t or won’t?” Fandral asked.

“Can’t,” the man replied. “All I see is a shadow. It wants Loki for its own ends and it will do whatever it must to take him for itself.”

“You’re a seer?” Thor asked.

The man shrugged, “I suppose you could call me that. Unfortunately, I am unable to control what I see, when I see something and much of the time, I’m unable to make heads or tails of whatever it is I do see.”

“Why are you telling us this?” Doctor Selvig asked suspiciously.

“Because this day, I did see. I knew that today the God Thor would arrive at my church seeking passage to Jötunheim and he would be in the company of two other Asgardians and three Midgardians.” He shrugged, “Don’t get me wrong, I am a Christian man myself and my faith hasn’t changed but even I can’t argue that there had to be some truth to the old religions, especially when the Old Norse deities make an appearance.”

“What’s your name?” Thor asked.

“Kvasir,” the man replied, gesturing behind Thor, “and the portal you are looking for is this way.”

* * *

After Kvasir had shown them where the portal was located Thor and his companions returned to the inn for their things. They thanked Doctor Selvig, Lady Darcy and Lady Jane for their help in tracking down the portal. Thor took a moment longer to give Lady Jane a special goodbye.

Inside the church, behind the carving of Yggdrasil was a hidden chamber where the portal lay. To Thor’s eyes it was nothing more than an empty room but to his limited senses where it came to seiðr, something stirred the air. There was also a noticeable temperature difference in the room.

“Do we just walk through or do we need to open it somehow?” Fandral asked.

Once more, Thor missed his brother. _Loki would know what to do._

Thor mentality shook himself. They were so close to Jötunheim, much closer to Loki and Thor was anxious to be on their way. “I don’t know,” Thor admitted.

“From my understanding,” Kvasir said from the entryway, “one must use a bit of magic to activate the portal.”

Volstagg’s shoulders drooped, “Something none of us possess.”

For a moment, Thor felt defeat begin to weigh heavily upon him. Volstagg was right, none of them possessed any proficiency at seiðr but…

A memory came to Thor, one from long ago, after he had convinced himself that he was not awed by Loki’s magic. That Loki’s use of seiðr during a battle was cowardly.

_“Me using my seiðr when fighting is the same as you using your lightning,”_ Loki had said.

Of course, Thor had refused to acknowledge that, _“No it isn’t.”_

Thor still remembered the scathing look Loki had given him. _“You are a first rate idiot, Thor. Where do you think your lightning comes from? It’s_ seiðr _, just manifested in a different form.”_

Thor glanced down at the weapon upon his belt. Taking Mjölnir in hand, he held her up toward where Kvasir said the portal was. If it only needed a spark of magic...

Lightning sparked around Mjölnir, arching out from the hammerhead and the energy seemed to be pulled away by an unseen force. It gathered together and the temperature in the room seemed to become even colder. Snowflakes fell from the dark mass now swirling before them.

“How did you do that?” Fandral asked in amazement.

Thor returned Mjölnir to his belt. “Loki once told me that my lightning is a form of seiðr.” He shrugged, “I didn’t think it would hurt to try.” Thor adjusted his cloak around himself and prepared to enter the portal. His heart was in his throat and he found that he was scared to step through. His fear had nothing to do with the portal itself or Jötunheim. No, Thor was afraid of what he wound find once they had tracked down Loki. He feared for the state his brother was in.

He felt a hand squeeze his shoulder. “You are not going alone Thor,” Volstagg said softly.

Thor nodded and turned to Kvasir. “Thank you.”

“Remember what I told you,” Kvasir said. “Do not let your guard down or your brother will be lost forever.”

Thor braced himself then stepped through the portal, Fandral and Volstagg following behind him. Thor’s vision went black for a moment and he felt as though he was walking against a current before he was hit with the bracing cold of Jötunheim. A full bodied shiver ran through him and he tightened the cloak around his shoulders a little more.

As soon as Fandral and Volstagg stepped through, the portal closed behind them. Thor was glad of it, he hadn’t felt comfortable with the thought that the portal would remain open. He would still have used it none the less either way.

Darkness permeated the area. There were no clouds in the sky so Thor was given a full view of the starry sky. One star shone brighter than all of the others and Thor thought perhaps that was Jötunheim’s sun. He dropped his gaze to take in their surroundings. They had appeared at the base of a cliff, having emerged from a crack within the wall. It was rather small and looking back at it again, Thor doubted anyone could have stumbled upon the portal by accident. This access to Midgard must have been known to Laufey long ago.

Thor pulled out the map his father had given to him before he had left Asgard. He studied it closely, looking for the Jökel Mountains and trying to determine how far from their current position it was. Of course, he had to determine their current position first.

Stepping away from the cliff side, Thor began to study their surroundings more closely. Thor was tempted to take to the sky for a better view but decided against it. He didn’t want to draw any attention to them if he didn’t have to. This mission required stealth, something he realized he was _terrible_ at. Usually Thor did everything he could to draw the enemy’s attention. This time, he wasn’t seeking an enemy and having any Jötnar loyal to Laufey catch notice of them would be a very bad thing.

Thor brought his attention back down to the map. He needed a point of reference and he wished he had thought to ask if either of his parents knew how close to Utgard the portal was. Thor looked up and, wow, that cliff was _extremely_ high. Casting his gaze side to side he saw that they extended for _miles_ in either direction.

“Have you determined our location yet?” Fandral asked.

Thor groaned, “No and I have no idea where to even begin. The stars are no help either in trying to find a point of reference.”

His companions both looked skyward. “The Jökel Mountains are some of the largest and most remote mountains in Jötunheim, are they not?” Volstagg asked.

“Yes,” Thor replied. “Father said the range’s tallest peak, Galdhøpiggen, stands higher than all others in Jötunheim.” He stepped away from the cliff side, hoping to find some kind of distinguishing trait about them. Fandral and Volstagg did the same.

“I wonder,” Fandral began, “could these be the Wijedfjord Cliffs?”

Thor studied the map then turned his gaze back to the cliffs. He did this several times before saying, “I think you may be right.”

“Really?” Fandral and Volstagg asked.

“Yes,” Thor couldn’t help his smile. The way the ice formed upon the cliffs, the sheer steepness of them, only helped support the idea. He walked further away and spun in a slow circle, spotting _massive_ treetops in the distance. He pointed to them, “That must be the Ironwood Forest.” Thor’s eyes darted across the map, finding each location along with the Jökel Mountains. Turning himself opposite the trees, he pointed, “The mountain range should be in that direction.” Once more looking at the map, he did a few quick mental calculations. “It looks like from here, the mountain summit should only be a few days walk. A week at most.”

They began their long trek, over fields of ice and snow. Luckily they didn’t encounter any Jötunn along the way. Thor wasn’t sure if that was actually a good thing or not. At night, or what they guessed was night, they took turns keeping watch, only resting for a few hours before continuing on their way. Eventually the terrain began to change, going from a flat plain to tall peaks and even small signs of civilization.

It was several days of travel before they stumbled upon a village. The three were surprised for find Jötnar of every shape and size milling about. Thor’s stomach twisted, knowing they were _so_ close but afraid of sparking any type of confrontation. The Jötnar watched them warily but so far they didn’t appear as though they were going to attack.

“Um… excuse me,” Thor called to the nearest Jötunn. “Sorry to bother you but we need some help.” The Jötunn appeared skeptical. “We’re not here for any trouble,” Thor quickly added, “we’re looking or someone.”

“You’re Thor.”

Thor turned and spotted a Jötunn who appeared to be little more than a child, barely into adolescence. “Yes, I am.” Thor replied. “As I said, I’m not here for any trouble. I just want to find my brother.”

The boy, and what appeared to be his friends, turned and sprinted down a road in the other direction. He began calling for someone.

“You say you are Thor,” the Jötunn Thor had originally addressed spoke. “Son of King Odin, grandson of Queen Bestla.”

Thor nodded, “Yes.” He gestured to his companions, “These are my friends, Fandral and Volstagg.”

The Jötunn gestured in the direction the boy and his friends had run off in. “Follow Helblindi.”

Thor wasn’t entirely what to make of these Jötnar. They were like none he had met before. It was strange to him to be trusted so quickly. “You trust us?”

The Jötunn laughed, “Not at all but if you were to try anything you would lose.”

Thor wasn’t about to argue. He had no intention of fighting any of these people. He nodded his thanks to the Jötunn then they followed after the boy.

Thor could hear the boy yelling in the distance but wasn’t able to make out what he was saying. His voice grew fainter then louder as he and his friends came back. Thor noticed they didn’t return alone. Thor was surprised to see an Æsir woman and next to him…

Joy washed over Thor when he realized Loki looked healthy. His eyes met his brother’s and Thor couldn’t understand how he had missed it before. Even with blue skin and ruby eyes, Thor still recognized his brother. He truly was an oaf and he would spend the next several centuries making up to Loki for his behavior.

“Loki!”

Loki closed his eyes and Thor saw an expression of resignation cross his brother’s face. Did Loki really think Thor was going to harm him? _It’s not like you gave him any other impression,_ Thor thought. He had so much to apologize to Loki for.

Mjölnir suddenly felt heavy upon his belt. He unhooked her and let her drop to the snow as he ran towards his brother. He saw Loki stiffen, as though bracing himself for an attack. Thor reached Loki and swept him up into his arms, Loki letting out a yelp as he did so.

“You’re alive,” Thor breathed, his sense of relief overwhelming. “When they told us… I still feared…” Thor tightened his arms. His eyes swam with tears of happiness and also regret. “I’m so sorry brother.”

“I’m not your brother,” Loki said weakly.

Thor cupped the side of Loki’s face. Loki gasped and Thor watched his brother’s skin turn porcelain and his eyes go from rubies to emeralds. “I don’t care where you were born or to whom,” Thor said. “You will _always_ be my brother.”

He hugged Loki again and smiled slightly when he felt Loki return the hug. Loki’s fingers gripped tightly at Thor’s tunic. “Brother?” Loki asked, voice wavering. “Thor, you came for me? You don’t… you don’t hate me?”

“Gods Loki, never, I could never hate you.” Thor felt his tears spill over and begin to freeze along his cheeks. “I’m so sorry. I’m an idiot,” Loki let out a choked laugh so Thor continued, “and I’m sure you’ll remind me of that for the rest of our lives. I’m sorry about everything Loki; about what happened in the Observatory, that I was too blinded by my own arrogance to see your pain.”

Thor pulled back slightly, thought Loki’s grip on his tunic didn’t loosen at all. In fact, it seemed to tighten further. The pain and hope reflecting within those green orbs broke Thor’s heart. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to be my brother anymore,” Thor said, “but like I said before, you will _always_ be mine.”

A whine escaped Loki and his arms wrapped around Thor, his fingers digging into Thor’s back. Loki pressed his eyes against Thor’s shoulder. “You would claim a monster as your brother?”

“You aren’t a monster Loki,” Thor could feel Loki shaking as he cried silently. “You are many things but a monster is not one of them.”

“You will always be my brother too.” Loki replied. “Thor,” Loki sounded insecure but still hopeful, “can I come home?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Galdhøpiggen is the tallest mountain in Norway and Wijedfjord is Norway's longest fjord, according to Google.
> 
> Please bear with me as this was the last chapter that I'd had completed. I do hope to have the next chapter out by the end of the week though. 
> 
> Comments and kudos always appreciated! See you soon.


	9. Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Thor learn a little more about Loki's abandonment and Odin begins to root out corruption.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Head-cannon; Loki is a cat person.
> 
> Note edit 2340 UTC: OH MY GOD! I _just_ noticed that I'd had a dyslexic moment with the title and villain had been spelled wrong. 😱 I'm dead! 😅🤣

**_Nine_ **

They eventually returned to Bestla’s home where Thor began to explain the strange behavior that had fallen over the people of Asgard, along with the peace talks that were still being held. Loki found himself tucked against Thor’s side, finding comfort in his brother’s presence. He had feared never having that again.

Loki pulled the blanket Bestla had given him tighter around his shoulders. In his Æsir form, the cold of Jötunheim was even more noticeable. Loki hated the cold but at least it was no longer centered in his chest and he was more than thankful to once again be in the form most familiar to him. “I’m surprised Sif and Hogun didn’t come with you,” Loki said after the conversation had ebbed. He didn’t miss the way the three warriors winced. “Thor?”

“Sif and Hogun are not themselves,” Thor replied. “Whatever it is that is spreading across Asgard has already affected them. Mother said she caught Sif ready to murder you. That is why she was arrested.”

Loki snorted, “Sif has wanted to kill me for a long time.”

Thor turned to him in surprise. “Loki…”

“You act as though that’s surprising,” Loki said, sitting up so that he could face Thor more fully.

“It’s just… I thought…” Thor’s brow furrowed with confusion and pain, “I thought we—”

“If you’re about to say that you thought we were friends, I’m sorry to disappoint. Sif and the Warriors are your friends Thor, not mine.”

Fandral and Volstagg suddenly seemed to find the floor before them to be quite interesting. Neither of the men could meet Thor’s questioning gaze.

“Is that true?” Thor asked his friends.

“I cannot speak for Sif and Hogun,” Volstagg said, “but, I will admit that at first I felt I had more in common with you than Prince Loki. I would like to think we are friends now, however looking back I can see how we were all more prone to following you than your brother.”

“Fandral?”

Fandral winced, “You have to admit the age difference at first was a little hard to get over.”

“It’s only fifty years!” Thor cried.

“We were children,” Fandral tried weakly.

Loki rolled his eyes at their poor attempt at justifying the bullying from their childhood. He refused to feel hurt by the memories and told himself once more that none of it mattered, that he never needed friends and preferred his solitude to being forced to socialize with those with far less intelligence. So many repeated blows to the head would have to have inflicted brain damage to _some_ extent.

“You say Laufey’s priests have gone to Asgard to negotiate peace?” Loki asked, forcing his mind to focus on what Thor had told them. “How much damage did the Bifröst do to Utgard?”

“Not enough, unfortunately,” Bestla said, much to their surprise.

“How do you mean?”

“The boys were here so I had hoped the energy of Bifröst would tear the capital apart. Once, Utgard was the jewel of Jötunheim but over the last several millennia, it has become nothing but a blight upon our Realm. It was from Utgard that the practice of sacrificing those of our children born small was reestablished. The practice was abhorrent the first time it became a tradition but Laufey and his _priests_ made it even more so. The amount of violence they inflicted on the children,” Bestla shuddered, “is beyond sickening.”

Loki knew he was going to regret asking the question but, “Why didn’t Laufey just give me to the priests to kill instead of abandoning me in the temple?”

Helblindi curled in on himself at Loki’s question and he saw the boy’s cheeks darken. “Laufey’s pride wouldn’t have allowed it,” Bestla said after a moment, her gaze shifting to her youngest grandchild. “Helblindi, why don’t you head to bed?”

“I’m not tired,” Helblindi said petulantly.

“Helblindi.”

Helblindi scowled but did stand and leave the room. He mumbled something under his breath that Loki didn’t quite catch. After he left Thor asked, “What was that about?”

Bestla sighed. “Both Helblindi and Býleistr have known since they were very young about a sibling who died shortly after birth. While I did want to shield them from the truth, I knew I could not do that, especially since Laufey would use the threat of killing them too in order to keep them in line. I did everything I could to protect them and teach them how to be good people.

“It has not been easy, teaching Býleistr and Helblindi to see the truth. There have been so many lies on both sides that convincing anyone of the truth was going to be very hard. Our Realms have a deep history together but much of it has been lost to time.”

“Why would Laufey’s pride have any bearing on whether or not he gave me over to the priests to kill instead of doing it himself?” Loki asked.

Bestla ran a hand through her hair. “Laufey could never admit that he had fathered a runt. To do so would be to admit the Gods were displeased with him, if one believes the old religion. He couldn’t afford to have any challenge to his power.”

“What about Farbauti? You said she was the one to put me in the temple.”

“Why are you asking such things?” Thor asked. “Does any of this actually matter? They _failed_ and for that I will be forever grateful.”

“I have to know.”

“But _why_?” Thor asked. He stood and moved a few paces away. The tightness of his shoulders showed just how angry he was now. Fandral and Volstagg looked as though they would have rather been anywhere but there. “Why are you torturing yourself like this? Isn’t enough to know that—”

“You don’t understand,” Loki interrupted, standing and turning Thor to face him, “I _need_ to know. I need to know what made me so defective that my own _parents_ tried to kill me.”

“You are _not_ defective and they aren’t your parents!” Thor yelled. “They may have given you life but they are _not_ your parents.”

“Your brother is right,” Bestla said.

“See,” he and Thor said to each other.

Loki felt Bestla rest a hand on his shoulder. “Thor is right,” she said gently, “Farbauti and Laufey may have given you life but they are not your parents, nor is there anything defective about you. I have heard about Prince Loki’s great prowess with seiðr. If what I have heard about your power is true, you never would have grown to average Jötnar height. Your seiðr never would have allowed for it.”

Her words made no sense. “What does my seiðr have to do with my size?”

“The kind of seiðr inherently wielded by the Jötnar and the kind wielded by the Æsir and Vanir are of different types. The seiðr in your blood leans more towards your Æsir traits and so does your form.”

“So you’re saying that if I had inherited more Jötnar traits than Æsir I wouldn’t have been abandoned.”

“Unfortunately, I cannot say that,” Bestla replied, sadness reflecting in her eyes. “I feel the only reason Laufey hadn’t done the same to Býleistr and Helblindi was due to his needing an heir. Otherwise, Laufey would have left them both to die as well. His treatment of the boys was a large part of the contention between Farbauti and Laufey.”

“If… if you have been teaching Býleistr and Helblindi about their Æsir side you must have done the same with Farbauti. Why would she be so quick to kill me then?”

“That is a complicated answer,” Bestla replied.

“Why does Father not remember her?” Thor asked. “Why does no one in Asgard remember that Farbauti was a Princess of Asgard as well as of Jötunheim?”

“That,” Bestla said, heaving a great sigh, “is a story for another time. One I think would best be told with the whole family together. For now, I suggest you all get some rest. You have had a long day. We can continue speaking in the morning.”

“How can you tell night from day?” Fandral asked. “I have yet to see the sun and we have been here for several days.”

“There are subtle changes between night and day. It will become more apparent later in the year once we orbit closer to the sun.”

“Oh.”

“It is rather late. Unfortunately I don’t have enough rooms for you all to have your own so you will need to double up.” She looked at Thor, “I assume you wish to stay with Loki.”

“Yes,” Thor replied. To Loki he asked, “If that’s okay.”

Part of Loki wanted to refuse but he knew he wouldn’t. He hated that he wanted the comfort of Thor’s presence. He found himself agreeing to Thor’s request despite himself. Bestla furnished them with more blankets and bed rolls for the others. Loki was grateful he was keeping the bed he had been sleeping in since his arrival.

After changing into proper sleeping attire, Loki and Thor found themselves lying side by side. Loki hadn’t realized until then that the bed was larger than he’d thought. He tucked himself against Thor’s side, hating himself even more for needing the comfort of his big brother.

After a long period of silence, longer than Loki had expected Thor to hold out, his brother spoke. “I’m sorry I upset you earlier. That was not my intention.”

Not entirely sure what Thor was referring to, Loki asked, “Which time?”

Thor shifted onto his side, but still kept Loki tucked against his arm. “When you were asking about your birth parents.”

“Is this where you remind me to ‘know my place’?”

“What?” Thor groaned, “Norns, did I really say that to you?”

“Yes, you did.” Loki replied. “When I tried to get you to leave Laufey’s court before fighting could break out.”

“I am so sorry Loki and I feel as though I’m going to be apologizing to you for a very long time.”

“Well, my place is in your shadow, isn’t it?” Loki asked angrily. He hated that he wasn’t able to keep the hurt out of his voice either. “Always behind you, always _beneath_ you.”

“No, never!” Thor sighed and he sounded on the verge of tears. “Norns, I am a _terrible_ brother.” They fell into silence for a while, both lost in their own thoughts. “I love you Loki,” Thor said, his voice low and this time Loki could tell Thor was weeping. “I have not said that nearly often enough. Your use of seiðr,” Loki stiffened slightly, “is the most skilled of anyone I have ever seen, even Mother, and your skill with a blade is beyond compare.”

“Why are you saying this?”

“Because you _need_ to hear it. You’re my brother and I should have encouraged and praised your skills not… not demeaned them the way that I had.” Thor shifted and Loki could feel his brother’s lips brush against his forehead. “I thought to raise myself up by putting you down and I should _never_ have done that. Why you didn’t lash out at me, I’ll never understand. You would have been well within your right to give me a good thrashing and you more than likely would have beaten me too. I’ve never seen anyone fight with blade and magic the way you do.

“Your seiðr has always fascinated me and the things you can do with it are amazing. Because I wanted to impress everyone, I convinced myself that I wasn’t interested in your seiðr and that your fighting style was cowardly. That to use your mind and strategize during a fight was less noble than simply rushing your opponents and fighting to the last but it has been your abilities that have saved us more often than not. I should have acknowledged that instead of ignored it.”

Loki wasn’t sure what to make of Thor’s words. He wanted to call Thor a liar but he knew Thor could _never_ lie so convincingly. What Thor had said was something Loki had _desperately_ needed to hear for a very long time. _Better late than never I suppose,_ he thought.

“You’re right about your birth parents,” Thor continued, returning to the previous topic of conversation. “You do have a right to know why they did what they did. I just fear how that knowledge will hurt you. Is it really necessary to bring yourself that kind of pain?”

“I need to know. I have to try to understand if I am to begin to heal. Thor, you have no idea what it’s like, to be told you’re one thing then learning it’s all a fiction. I don’t know who I am anymore. Am I Asgardian, am I Jötunn? Am I neither, am I both? Who is ‘Loki’?”

“Does any of that actually matter? No wait,” Thor continued before Loki could object, “just listen. You’re right, I cannot imagine what you are going through but does this knowledge actually change who you are? You’re still my brother, that hasn’t changed as far as I’m concerned. I… what I did in the Observatory is inexcusable. I suppose it was easier for me to believe you were some imposter causing such destruction and that it wasn’t really you. I didn’t _want_ to believe what I was seeing.”

“Understandable,” Loki replied, turning his gaze away, “you didn’t want to see that what you thought was your brother was actually a monster.”

“Would you stop calling yourself that? You are not a monster, Loki.”

“Not according to what we were taught. The people of Asgard certainly think I am. I’m actually surprised it took your friends longer than it did to betray me.”

“Why did you do it? Why try to convince everyone that you are evil? Why the Destroyer? Why attack Jötunheim?”

Loki gave a small shrug. “It wasn’t hard to convince your friends, all I need do is exist. As for Jötunheim, I thought that if I destroyed the home of the monsters then it would prove to everyone that my loyalty lay with Asgard. That I wasn’t actually one of them.”

“And the Destroyer?” Thor prompted after a moment.

“That… I knew there was no way you would figure out, let alone _learn,_ whatever lesson Odin wanted you to without a little help. When I visited you on Midgard, I was going to tell you that Odin was dead and that your actions were what caused it but… I couldn’t go through with that lie.

“I sent the Destroyer to give you something to fight, a way to prove yourself a hero. You needed a villain so I decided to become one. Also… I was terrified of what you would do once you found out what I was. By then my fever had spiked and I wasn’t exactly thinking clearly but, Thor, I never meant for it to cause the destruction it did. I never actually meant for it to kill you. I was just… I figured that once it was all over I would die anyways so, why not become the villain you needed to fight?”

Loki chanced looking up at Thor and was surprised to see tears sliding down his cheeks. “Loki, I…” Thor wrapped his other arm around Loki, pulling him tight against his chest. “I don’t even know where to begin. I’m sorry you felt you needed to do something like that. Even as times have changed, whenever I picture the future, you have always been at my side. You are my friend as well as my brother and while it would hurt to lose Sif and the Warriors, your loss would _kill_ me.

“You are no villain and no one could ever convince me otherwise. The same with the idea of you being a monster. You don’t have the heart for such a thing.”

“You don’t know that. You don’t know what is inside of me.”

“Loki,” the tone of Thor’s voice conveyed his frustration as well as his affection, “you hate injustice. I have seen you both physically beat and verbally eviscerate those who attack the weak, especially children. Besides, no one who smuggles kittens into his rooms because they ‘need a home’ could ever be evil.” Thor chuckled, “You have ‘kittynapped’ more than your fair share of cats.”

Loki felt his cheeks flame. “Shut up.”

“Why are you so adamant that you are evil?”

Loki pressed his lips together, not truly wanting to bring voice to what he was feeling. “Forget it.”

“Loki—”

“Just leave it be Thor,” he snapped.

“Fine,” Thor said testily, “but this discussion isn’t over.” He pressed a kiss to Loki’s forehead. “You aren’t a monster Loki nor are you evil. I refuse to believe that.”

Loki clenched his jaw tightly and pressed his face against Thor’s chest. He bit his lip in an attempt to keep himself from crying. He managed to keep silent however; he was unable to keep his tears from escaping. Thor just didn’t understand, no one did. There was a darkness inside of Loki, one that was growing larger every day. He didn’t know when it would consume him but when it did…

_…death will only be the beginning…_

* * *

Odin sat at the head of the long table, Frigga at his side, listening to the conversation going of their dinner guests. Jötunheim’s Priests along with Asgard’s Curia Regis were still negotiating peace between their two Realms. Every day that passed with little to no progress made, had Odin imagining in vivid detail the different ways he would like to murder every one of them then dispose of the bodies. Only Frigga kept him from actually going through with his plans. Well, she and the fact that such a thing would be political suicide. By the time the dinner ended, Odin was seriously considering killing them all anyway, repercussions be damned.

He escorted Frigga back to their chambers but was too restless himself to even try sleeping. He worried about his sons, especially Loki. Odin constantly berated himself for falling into the Odinsleep before he’d had the chance to properly speak with Loki, to reassure his youngest that there was nothing wrong with him. He’d never gotten the chance to explain that Loki would always be his son, regardless of who he was born to and that he would _always_ be loved.

Odin took to wandering the hallways. They were relatively empty and he passed the occasional Einherjar who were doing patrol or standing guard along the ways. He nodded to them as he passed.

Odin left the royal suites and continued on to the gardens outside. The night air was crisp and most refreshing after being cooped up in meetings all day. He wandered the gardens, allowing the fresh air to clear his mind. He passed a fountain, the water soothing his nerves further and he felt himself smile a little as he remembered days gone past. Their family was in turmoil at the moment but there were good memories, of days when Odin had managed to pull himself away from being king to only being a father. He had chased the boys through the garden and even around the fountain many times when they were children. Loki had always been at Thor’s heals even though, more often than not, it was Loki’s ideas which would allow the boys to escape Odin’s pursuit.

How he wished things could return to how they had once been. Not everything and there were a number of things Odin wished he could change, like hiding Loki’s origins from him for so long as well as the people’s view of the Jötnar. If he hadn’t been so afraid the people would take their hatred of the Jötunn out on Loki, he may have considered telling Loki of his adoption sooner.

Odin continued around the garden but paused when hushed voices reached his ears. He moved closer to where they came from, making sure to keep silent and straining his ears to hear what was being said.

“We had an agreement,” a guttural male voice said.

“It is not our fault you lost the boy,” replied a voice he knew quite well, Councilwoman Karsten. “We handed him over as agreed. It is not our responsibility to get him back.”

“If you wish for our _negotiations_ to succeed,” the first voice replied, “then you will find him.”

“And how do you propose we do that? I doubt it would do much for your image to send our warriors to Jötunheim.”

Odin was finally able to put a name to the first voice. It was Laufey’s high priest, comparable to Chancellor Imir, Priest Vörnir. “I don’t care how you find him, but _find_ him.” There was a brief pause and the sound of someone moving. “It is not only our Realm that would suffer the consequences of his continued existence. As I recall, _your_ Realm would die as well.”

Odin peeked through the foliage, seeing Vörnir towering over Karsten as a means of intimidation. Both were glaring at one another, their wills battling for dominance. Finally, Vörnir let out a growl and stalked away. Odin waited a moment longer to be sure the Jötunn had departed before making himself known to Karsten. “Lovely night, isn’t it?” Odin asked conversationally.

Concilwoman Karsten startled, barely managing to cover up her fright at his appearance. “My King,” she replied, bowing low. “What has you out at such a late hour?”

“I could ask the same thing?” Odin replied stepping closer to the woman, effectively blocking any escape she might try to take.

“I was simply out for a stroll,” she replied.

Odin was growing quite tired of the deception, especially among those he should have been able to trust. He had suspected for a long time that portions of the Council were corrupt but hadn’t been able to garner proof. To learn that a councilor that had been on his _father’s_ council was plotting against them was… disheartening didn’t even begin to cover it.

“Yet, that was more than just pleasantries you were exchanging with Vörnir.”

Her back stiffened and she had the gall to appear indignant. “It _was_ only but simple pleasantries, your majesty.”

“Do not play me for a fool, Karsten,” Odin snapped. “What is this ‘agreement’ you have made with Vörnir? It has to do with Loki, that much I was able to discern from your conversation.” Odin grinned, “Loki isn’t dead and he’s somehow managed to escape Laufey’s court. Better news could not have come to me tonight.”

Karsten’s face twisted with rage. “You should have left the boy to die,” she sneered. “You should never have brought him here, let alone make him a part of the royal family. The Jötnar are our enemies but you have allowed your… your _bias_ to cloud your judgement. The people would never allow a Jötunn to sit on the throne of Asgard!”

“You have been on the Council since my father was king. Have your forgotten my own heritage? As I recall, the people loved my mother.”

“Be that as it may, because of her, the royal line was almost wiped out!” Karsten thundered. The distain in her gray eyes was unmistakable. “As you know, you were the youngest of Bor’s children but what you do not know is that the council insured your succession to the throne not because you were the only one to survive but because you were the only other of Bestla’s children, aside from Cul, to be born with fully Ǽsir traits. Honestly, the only one we could finally tame.”

“What are you talking about? You’ve been…” Odin was barely managing to reign in his anger. “You’ve been _conspiring_ against this House since my father was king!”

“The Ǽsir should rule Asgard.” Karsten shot back. “Queen Frigga being of Vanir descent, while not what we had hoped, was acceptable. The Ǽsir and Vanir are sister races which places Prince Thor’s genetics closer to Ǽsir than Jötunn. He will be less influenced by that blood.”

“You are not alone in this; there is no way you can be. Who are the other traitors to this House?”

“What we have done, we have done for the good of Asgard and I will tell you nothing.”

“I have heard that _excuse_ long enough and I am _beyond_ tired of it. Is it your doing, you and your conspirators, who have turned the people of Asgard against one another?”

“The people are not set against each other,” Karsten stated, “it was Loki they are against and he who needed to be dispatched and he has been. That the Jötnar have lost him within their Realm is not our concern. Asgard can now begin to heal from the evil he has brought here.”

“What… What evil?”

She smiled, but it was cold. “The complete destruction of Asgard.”

“You’re talking about the so-called ‘prophecy’?” Odin gaped. “The one some seer once said would be the means, by which, Asgard would be destroyed, ushered in by a ‘Trickster of Jötunheim’.”

“And what is Loki but a trickster, born of Jötunheim?” she asked.

“Loki is of Asgard,” Odin reiterated. His son may have been born in Jötunheim but that changed nothing. Loki _was_ of Asgard and no one would ever be able to convince Odin otherwise.

“The prophecy you’re talking about also said the ‘trickster’ would also father the Fenris wolf which would eat the sun. Fenrir is dead and has been since long before Loki was born.” Odin said drily.

Karsten waved a hand, “Prophecy’s are not perfect, I’ll grant you that, but it is clear that Loki would be the one to usher in Ragnarök. We have indulged you long enough with the boy, we cannot do so anymore.”

“Karsten, I have known you for as long as I can remember,” Odin began, “and I have long thought you to be a loyal friend but this… This I cannot forgive. You have betrayed me, my family and all of Asgard with your actions.”

“No, my king, it was _you_ who betrayed Asgard by bringing back Laufey’s spawn and raising it as your own.”

Odin had had enough of hearing Loki spoken of in such a manner. Were it within his power he would arrest the entire Council for treason and sort everything out later. As it was, Asgard would fall into complete chaos should he do such a thing. He may not be able to arrest the _entire_ council but he could at least remove this one blight.

“Councilwoman Karsten,” Odin intoned, “for treason against the Royal House of Asgard, the unlawful banishment of Prince Loki and, until officially stated otherwise, the murder of Prince Loki, I hereby strip you of your rank and titles, you will be held in the dungeons until the full extent of your punishment can be determined.”

“You cannot do that!” Karsten protested.

“I am king!” Odin bellowed, “I assure you, I can and I did. Guard!” The Einherjar who patrolled the gardens were quick to arrive at his call. “Take Karsten to the dungeons. She is allowed, no visitors and I want her in isolation. Is that understood?”

The Einherjar saluted, “As you command,” the ranking man said. _Former_ Councilwoman Karsten was escorted to the dungeons, her angered protests fading the further away they went.

Odin walked away from her. He knew there would be questions come morning and that he may have just tipped his hand, as there was no way that Priest Vörnir would not figure out that Odin had overhead their conversation. He could only hope the Jötunn thought that Odin knew less than he did. Granted Odin still didn’t know as much as he would like, but it was a start.

Odin turned back to return to the royal suite. He had much to do but first, he had to explain what had just happened to his wife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely pleased with this chapter. I suck at political intrigue but I needed something here to set up what's happening in the future.


	10. Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki & Thor learn a bit more of their family history. Asgard's history comes into question and Odin begins to spring his traps, with unexpected results.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first part of this chapter was taken in part from a conversation I had with Moonybird in chapter 6.

**_Ten_ **

“I don’t get it.”

Loki agreed with Thor but Helblindi just rolled his eyes in frustration. “She’s my mormor,” Helblindi said, “and she’s Loki’s mormor but not yours.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Thor said. “Bestla is my grandmother too.”

“Yeah,” Helblindi replied, “but to you she’s ‘farmor’.”

“‘Farmor’ means grandmother as well?” Loki asked.

“Yes.”

Loki and Thor exchanged confused looks. “So what’s the difference? If both words mean ‘grandmother’ then what does it matter which ones he uses?”

Helblindi dropped his head, “Because she’s grandmother through different parents.”

Thor gestured between himself and Loki. “We’re siblings.”

“No, you’re cousins.”

Thor and Loki burst out laughing. “Trust me, we are _not_ cousins,” Loki said.

Helblindi groaned and tipped himself over until he flopped down onto the floor. “Mormor,” he called, “Thor and Loki are being stupid!”

“Helblindi, don’t call them stupid,” Bestla called back from the other room.

“I would suggest giving up Helblindi,” Volstagg chuckled. “You’ll never get them to admit that they understand you.”

“No,” Helblindi said, sitting back up. He shot them a stubborn look. “She’s Loki and my mormor because she’s our mother’s mother. She’s your farmor because she’s your father’s mother.”

“By that logic, she is my farmor too,” Loki said.

“No she’s not.”

“Odin is my father and unless there are some _extreme_ family secrets I don’t even _want_ to consider,” Loki shuddered, “then Bestla is my father’s mother.”

“Laufey is your father.”

“Laufey is _not_ my father!” Loki snapped, causing the boy to jump. “He may have sired me but I refuse to acknowledge that _thing_ as my father.”

“But—”

“There is no ‘but’. Laufey tried to kill me, why would I _ever_ call him father?”

“What about mother?”

“Farbauti may be your mother, Helblindi, but she is not mine.”

Helblindi stood from where he’d been seated on the floor. “But she is,” he insisted. “She is your mother too and I know…” his eyes lit up suddenly. He grabbed Loki’s arm, yanking him from his seat, “We’ll go see mother and you’ll see, she loves you too and she’ll be so happy that you’re home.”

Loki sincerely doubted that, especially if what he had been told was true then Farbauti was the one to leave him in the temple to begin with. He couldn’t imaging any mother doing such a thing if she actually loved her child.

He wiggled his arm out of Helblindi’s grip. “Helblindi,” Loki said, speaking in a much gentler tone than he had before, “what are you trying to do?”

“Nothing,” the boy said. It was obvious from his averted gaze and the slight hunch to his shoulders that he was lying. Loki continued to wait and finally Helblindi said, “Mother has always been nice to me and Býleistr and she will be so happy to see you, I know she will. I just want you to meet mother.”

“There’s more to it than that.”

“No there isn’t.”

“You’re hoping that if Loki meets Farbauti,” Thor said, coming to stand beside Loki, “that he’ll want to stay here.”

Helblindi scowled, “It’s his home.”

“No, Helblindi, it’s not,” Loki said. “Jötunheim has never been my home.”

“You were born here.”

“That may be so but it still doesn’t change anything. My father found me only hours after I was born and brought me back to Asgard. Asgard is where I was raised, not here. This Realm is still foreign to me and, honestly I can’t stand the cold.”

Helblindi crossed his arms, his scowl deepening. “Well if you stopped making yourself look like a stupid Ǽsir you’d be fine.”

“‘Stupid Ǽsir’?” Thor asked.

Loki shrugged, “He’s not entirely wrong. You and the Idiots Two aren’t exactly prime examples of smart Ǽsir.” Loki managed to maneuver away from Thor before his brother could smack him. Loki sobered and turned back to Helblindi. “I’m not ready to maintain a Jötunn form and I may never be. I feel the cold even _worse_ in that form. As for Farbauti, give me just a little more time. I will meet with her if you wish but I need to do it on my own time.”

Helblindi’s shoulders drooped. “Okay but… do you think it could be soon? I think if she knows you’re here, she’ll start to get better.”

“Býleistr mentioned there was something wrong with your mother,” Thor said. “Is she ill?”

Helblindi lowered his arms, his expression becoming pained. “I really don’t understand it. She’s not the mama I remember, she’s different. When I was really little, she tried to take Býleistr and me away from father because she didn’t like how he was treating us. He did something to her but I don’t know what. Whenever I go see her it’s like she’s not really there. She doesn’t smile, or laugh and she barely talks anymore. She used to play with us, sing us lullabies and…” His ruby eyes glistened and they watched him blink back tears. “I want my mama back.”

Farbauti may have given birth to Loki but in his heart, Frigga would always be his mother. He couldn’t imagine what he would do if something ever happened to her. He reached out and gently gripped the boy’s arm. “We can go in a few hours, how about that?”

Helblindi wiped at his eyes, “Okay.”

A few hours was much sooner than Loki would have liked but he couldn’t take the dejected look on Helblindi’s face. While he may not think of Helblindi as his younger brother, he did like the boy, strange as that sounded.

The extra time would also allow him to formulate exactly which questions he wanted answered and Farbauti was the only other person alive who could answer them. He’d never given Laufey the chance and he briefly wondered what the Jötunn king’s reaction would have been to learn that the child he’d tried to kill had been saved and raised by his enemy.

He exchanged a look with Thor then returned to the living area. He had so many questions but the easiest answers may come from Bestla. He felt he needed to understand what Laufey had done to Farbauti to give him an idea of what to expect.

They found Bestla making small talk with Volstagg and Fandral. “Would you be willing to answer some questions,” Loki asked without preamble.

“I will do my best to try,” she replied.

“Would you like for us to leave?” Fandral asked.

Loki shrugged, “If you want, my questions right now aren’t all that personal to me.” He turned his focus to Bestla. “What did Laufey do to Farbauti?”

The look which crossed her face told Loki just how much she despised Laufey. Whatever it was the former king had done, it was much worse than abandoning his first born to die. Then again, Loki wasn’t quite sure what could top that.

“Where’s Helblindi?” she asked.

Loki gestured behind him, “Back that way.”

Bestla sighed, “I suppose it is no big secret but I don’t like to speak of it around either of the boys. When Laufey learned Farbauti planned on divorcing him and taking the boys away, he tried to kill her. Laufey was King of Jötunheim in name only; the real power lay with Farbauti. A divorce would have taken away his kingship; her death would have cemented it. He poisoned her; however, whatever he used apparently hadn’t been strong enough. She survived but… her mind was never the same.”

“And no one thought to remove Laufey for attempting to murder his queen?” Thor asked.

Bestla shook her head. “The Priests power and influence grew the same as Laufey’s did. They have been working together to consolidate their power for over a millennia. I do fear that the Priests will try to control Býleistr but he knows all too well what they are capable of. He is young, yet he knows how to play the game.”

“Did Laufey know she lived?” Loki asked.

“Yes,” Bestla replied, “however in the end he didn’t try again because he had gotten what he wanted, to be king in all ways, not just as king consort.”

There were things that still made little sense. “If Laufey was only king consort at the time of the war, then how did he have the authority to start it in the first place? Couldn’t Farbauti have stopped it?”

“Laufey had persuaded her that trying to subjugate the Midgardians would be beneficial to Jötunheim. I warned her against such actions but… she loved Laufey and I think that love blinded her to his _many_ faults. When her pregnancy forced her to step back from decision making for her own protection, it gave Laufey his first true taste of power. He grew drunk on it and was unwilling to give it up.”

“You said he brought back the practice of killing runts,” Loki said, “was that because of me?”

“Loki,” Thor’s voice was exasperated but Loki stopped him before he could continue.

“I don’t mean it the way you think Thor. Bestla just said Laufey’s place as King was in name only and that all of the power of the throne belonged to Farbauti. _Any_ child she bore would have a greater claim to the throne should something happen to her. Laufey craved power and I doubt he would have allowed any challenge to it. Even if I had been born normal sized for a… for a Jötunn he most likely would have found a way to be rid of me.”

“Then what about Býleistr and Helblindi,” Volstagg asked. “Why would Laufey have allowed them to live?”

“That was Farbauti’s influence,” Bestla replied. “She protected those boys fiercely—”

_But not me,_ Loki thought, _me she couldn’t wait to get rid of._

“—and also the people of Jötunheim would not have stood for it.”

Loki saw Thor exchange looks with his friends. Thor voiced the question they were all thinking, “Why wouldn’t she have protected Loki?” Thor asked. “How could any mother just…” he trailed off, unable to complete the thought.

Bestla seemed to understand anyway. “You have no idea how many times I have asked her that same question,” she said, “but she refused to answer. There are differences between her pregnancy with Loki than with her other pregnancies. Because of the war, when she became pregnant it was hidden for her safety so it could not be used against her. With the boys, I made sure there was an announcement as I refused to lose another grandchild.”

“Yet mother’s pregnancy was announced,” Thor said.

“The fighting was not taking place in Asgard,” Bestla replied. “Frigga was well guarded and it would have been beyond foolish to try to use her pregnancy against her. All who have tried to storm Asgard have failed and met rather grisly ends.”

They couldn’t exactly argue that. His mother’s pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage… _I’m a replacement,_ Loki thought, _a poor substitute for the child she lost._

Something must have shown in his expression because Thor wrapped his arm around Loki’s shoulders. “Brother, what’s wrong?” Concern laced Thor’s voice.

Loki felt an overwhelming sense of sadness as he realized the magnitude of his loss. He had to take a breath to steady his voice. “I’m sure by now all of Asgard knows the truth of my parentage.” He felt his eyes water but refused to let his tears fall. “I can never go home.”

“What,” Thor cried, pulling back to stare at Loki with wide eyes. “What— why would you think that?”

“The Council sent me here to be executed, did they not?” He smiled but there was no mirth to it, “I played the villain so that you could be a hero and regain your power. That’s all I’ll ever be to both Asgard and Jötunheim. I have…” Against his will, a few tears slipped free, “I can never come back from this.”

“Loki, there is no way father and mother would ever bar you from returning home. We all wanted to kill Imir for using an antiquated law to send you here.”

“Who is Imir?” asked Bestla.

“The Chancellor,” Thor replied.

“Asgard’s Chancellor? Chancellor Haldor has stepped down?”

Loki wiped his eyes and turned to her. “Imir has been Chancellor since grandfather reigned. We’ve known no other to hold that position.”

Bestla’s eyebrows shot up. “Bor never had a Chancellor by that name. None of his counselors went by that name either. There was once an ambassador named Mimir, but he was killed shortly after the first Æsir-Vanir War.”

“The ‘first’ Æsir-Vanir War?” Fandral asked.

“There was only the one,” Volstagg added.

Bestla shook her head. “No, there were two. The first was when the Vanir broke away from the Æsir to create their own society. The Æsir and Vanir are the same race although their beliefs differ. The Æsir are warriors while the Vanir are more scholarly.

“At the end of the first war, Mimir was sent to stay with the Vanir and Njord went to the Æsir while a peace agreement was forged, as a sort of hostage exchange. There was a faction among the Vanir who didn’t believe peace was attainable so they killed Mimir. Legend has it; his severed head survived and began to give prophecies, even going so far as to detail how Ragnarök would come to pass.”

Fandral looked at Loki, “Is that true?”

Loki shook his head, “Not according to any book I’ve read.”

“And you’ve read nearly every book in the library,” Thor said, “twice.”

Bestla sat forward in her seat. “This history is not taught in Asgard?”

“It’s not taught anywhere,” Loki replied. “It’s not a part of the Vanir histories and it’s certainly not a part of Asgard’s history. I’ve never heard of the war you speak of.”

“Could such lost history have anything to do with what’s happening now?” Volstagg asked.

“ _How_ could that kind of history be lost?” Fandral asked.

“Probably the same way that our family history was,” Loki said. He had to suppress the sudden rush of anger. “If you had just told Father that the Jötunn Queen was his _sister_ maybe—” _maybe I wouldn’t hate myself so much._ “—things would have been different between the Realms. Maybe then Odin wouldn’t have been terrified of telling me the truth, he wouldn’t have been afraid Asgard would take their hatred of Jötunheim out on me.”

Bestla sat up straighter in her seat. Gone was the grandmotherly figure she had presented, now she was every bit the Queen she was born to be. “I will not apologize for protecting my children. Odin _did_ know Farbauti however he was still very young when she left, too young to really remember her.”

“Why did Farbauti leave when she was set to inherit Asgard?” Thor asked.

“For her safety.”

“Her safety? I thought at that time there were no real hostilities between the Realms. What threat was she under?”

“Beyond the ones that come with being heir apparent, her twin brother, Cul.”

* * *

Odin rode down the bridge leading to the Observatory, doing his best to keep his anger in check. It seemed he had been blind to more than just one son’s pain and the other son’s arrogance. He had grown too complacent, becoming blind to those he had called friends and allies.

Sleipnir came to a halt and Odin dismounted. Heimdall stood at his post, having been released from Lady Eir’s care some time ago. Heimdall turned at Odin’s entrance.

“To what do I owe this visit, your majesty?” Heimdall inquired.

“I have need of answers,” Odin replied, stepping onto the dais, “and you are going to give them to me.”

“What do you wish to know?”

“Where do your loyalties lie?”

While Heimdall’s expression barely changed, Odin could see the man was taken aback. “With you and Asgard, of course.”

Odin hummed, clasping his hands behind his back. “Remind me again, what your purpose here is.”

“To listen and observe the going-ons of the Nine Realms and to protect Asgard against invaders.”

“Really?” Odin stepped around Heimdall, making a slow circle along the dais. “You are sworn to obey the orders of the King, are you not?”

“I am.”

“Then explain why you have disobeyed the king’s orders not once, not twice, but three times over these past few weeks?”

“I have done no such thing,” Heimdall said. “You ordered that I open the Bifröst to no one. I have followed your command, as instructed.”

Odin nodded, continuing his circling of the dais, “I suppose, in a way, you have. _You_ did not open the Bifröst, at least not the second and third time. However, abandoning your post so that others may use it instead is the same as you opening it yourself.” Odin stopped and turned back to Heimdall. “I realize I have miscounted. You have opened the Bifröst once again. Who did you let through and where did you send them?”

Heimdall’s golden eyes watched him. “I was given instruction by the Council to allow Sif and Hogun through to Jötunheim.”

“The council,” Odin stepped from the dais, “has far overstepped its boundaries. You will open the Bifröst once more and _only_ once more, to retrieve my sons and their friends from Jötunheim when they call. From now on, the Bifröst will only be activated with either my or the queen’s express permission. If you fail to obey or abandon your post, you will be executed for treason. Am I clear?”

“As you command,” Heimdall said with a bow.

Odin swept from the Observatory and mounted Sleipnir to return to the palace. Odin had things to do, traps to spring. He had given the council and nobility enough rope, it was time they hung themselves with it.

* * *

Odin arrived to the Council chambers long before any of the councilors or Jötnar Priests had arrived. He knew enough to know that both sides had allied themselves with one another; however, there were questions he had yet to have answered, like, what was the purpose? What were they after?

The doors opened to admit Frigga and he shared a look with his wife as she moved to take her place at his side. The nobility knew enough to fear him but they would learn that he was honestly not the one they should be most afraid of. They had not simply threatened Loki; they had taken steps to actively try to kill him. Frigga was a fierce warrior in her own right but when she was protecting her children, even the Eternals would quail.

The councilors and priests entered the chamber, a few stopping short when their eyes fell upon Frigga and him.

“My king,” Chancellor Imir said, giving a small bow, “this is unexpected.”

Odin conceded that fact. In general, the king enered the chambers once everyone else had gathered. It was why he had decided to arrive before the rest of them did.

“Sit,” Odin said, “all of you.” His tone brokered no argument.

Once everyone had entered and taken their seats, the doors to the chambers closed with a resounding bang.

“Where is Councilwoman Karsten?” Councilman Alfr asked the chancellor. “It is unusual for her to be late and we cannot begin without her.”

“Karsten has been stripped of her titles,” Odin replied before Chancellor Imir could speak, “and she currently resides within Asgard’s dungeon.” He watched their reactions, his eye briefly glancing up at Hugin and Munin who were perched upon the windowsills along the far end of the room. The two ravens chittered softly to one another.

“Councilwoman Karsten has been arrested?” Councilwoman Ingrid asked in shock. “Whatever for?”

“Treason.”

Multiple voices cried out, aghast at what Odin said. “Treason!”

“Yes, treason.”

Priest Vörnir stood, his fellow priests following suit. “If there is corruption among your court—”

From his side and standing tall, Frigga said, “Sit down Vörnir. I see no reason for you to become offended, especially since you were in league with the former councilwoman.”

The Jötunn let out a huff of indignation. “How dare you accuse me, a visiting dignitary, of… of…”

“Can’t think of a good lie?” Odin asked. “You have been plotting from the moment you learned of _Prince_ Loki’s origins. You would all be the _Heroes of Jötunheim_ should you bring your king slayer to ‘justice’.” He let his eye travel across all those present. “Never mind the fact that you would, in essence, be eliminating Jötunheim’s true heir. When Queen Farbauti died, the rule of Jötunheim would have passed to Prince Loki, not Laufey, as he would have been old enough at the time to rule. I suspect age is the only reason you did not instate Prince Býleistr as king instead of Laufey, since you had not known of Prince Loki’s existence.” _Not that I would have given him back to you if you had,_ he thought.

Priest Vörnir straightened and to Odin, his eyes appeared to turn a darker shade of red. “If only it were that simple,” Vörnir replied. “This is not about Jötunheim at all; the Giant’s are only a means to an end.” Vörnir twitched and blood began to drip from his nose and ears. He laughed as the twitching morphed into full-bodied convulsions. Everyone around him stood and backed away when a black mist began to emanate from his body. Vörnir let out one last choked laugh before he stilled and fell to the ground. The mist coalesced above Vörnir for only a moment before dissipating completely.

One of the other priests went over to their fallen comrade and pressed his fingers to Vörnir’s neck. “He’s dead,” the priest said, shock and horror echoing in his voice.

Like everyone else, Odin couldn’t believe what had just happened. He shared a look with Frigga. It was obvious Priest Vörnir’s death was not natural. “Summon Lady Eir,” Odin called and an Einherjar rushed to carry out his order. Whatever was going on was much larger than simple corruption among his nobility.

Odin had no intention of abandoning his investigation however, the death of Priest Vörnir would put a bit of a delay on it. He felt the Priest’s death did in some way tie into everything that was happening. If they could discover what had killed him, it may shed more light on everything else that was going on as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh... Plot twist?
> 
> Odin's "Yes, treason" I feel was basically another form of "did I stutter?"


	11. Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bestla has secrets she refuses to divulge, Odin confronts an old fear and Loki meets his birth mother. The thing influencing the people finally shows itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, sorry for the delay in updating. The one year anniversary(?) of my main series hit and I wanted to have a little something to celebrate. That's done so I can put the series aside for a bit to concentrate on this. Hopefully the direction this story is going in doesn't disappoint.
> 
> *Anxiously awaits to hear what everyone thinks*

**_Eleven_ **

“Her own twin tried to kill her?” Volstagg asked incredulously.

It wasn’t necessarily unheard of, especially among the ruling classes. “Farbauti has a twin?” Loki asked, grasping onto that other tidbit.

Bestla nodded, “Yes, Cul.”

Thor’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Why is there no record of that?”

Cul had died before either of the boys were born so neither of them had met their uncle but… now that Loki thought about it; he could hardly recall Cul ever being mentioned. Was he another of their family’s dirty secrets?

“Because Bor and I removed all record of what he had done,” Bestla replied.

That sounded like a recipe for disaster. “Why?” Loki asked. “If it was so terrible, wouldn’t you want people to know so it could not happen again?”

Bestla stood abruptly, her body language radiating anger, “I am not discussing this.”

Loki’s own anger took hold and by the sound of thunder outside, Thor’s had as well. “Now I understand where father gets his inclination to keep everything hidden. How much longer do you think you’ll be able to keep anything to do with Cul a secret?”

“Cul is dead and buried,” Bestla replied tersely, “and that is the end of it.”

Loki shared a look with his brother, Fandral and Volstagg. Clearly none of them were convinced. Forcing himself to use a gentler tone, he said, “If you hadn’t wanted to discuss him, then why bring him up?”

“Whatever it was you have done,” Thor said before she could answer, “it’s why father doesn’t remember Farbauti, isn’t it?”

“We had no choice but to erase Cul’s deeds,” Bestla said. “It was for the good of the Realms, as well as our family.” She squared her shoulders. “If you must know the short of it, Cul tried to kill Farbauti because she was set to inherit the throne. Having been born only hours before Cul, it automatically placed her as next in line. Cul was jealous he had been born second and tried to rectify that. It was why Farbauti was eventually sent here, to keep her safe.” Obviously having consided her explanation good enough, Bestla left the room, leaving them to ponder what little information she had given them.

“There is more to it,” Loki said after a few moments of silence. “There is still much she is hiding.”

“I don’t believe she will reveal any more,” Fandral said, “no matter how polished your silver tongue is.”

Loki had to agree. “There have to be records _somewhere_.”

“But where?” Volstagg asked.

“It does seem a bit farfetched to think that whatever events she is trying to hide, if they were as realm impacting as she seems to imply, could have been erased from the memory of everyone within the Nine,” Fandral added.

“We’d be looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack.”

“Maybe not,” Thor said. All eyes turned to him. “I think we’re ignoring an obvious source. I know both Bestla and Helblindi have implied that her mind is not entirely sound but…” he shrugged, “could it hurt to ask Farbauti?”

That was how, only a short time later, Loki found himself standing outside of the home in which Farbauti was staying. Loki wasn’t entirely why she was not staying with her mother and son. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to be with someone who could watch over her?

Helblindi was nearly vibrating with excitement. “Mother is going to be so happy to meet you,” he said.

Loki wasn’t so sure. His heart had decided to take up residence in his throat. _I can’t do this_ , he thought.

Thor’s hand gripped his shoulder, causing Loki to startle slightly. “Do you want me to come with you?”

Some of the tension left Loki at Thor’s offer. “Would you?” he asked softly. Norns, he sounded pathetic even to his own ears.

“Of course,” Thor hugged him. “You’re not alone brother.”

Loki bit his lip, pulling back from the embrace and looking towards the house once more. He took a breath, squared his shoulders and promptly turned on his heal. “I can’t do this.”

“What?” Helblindi cried. “Loki, you promised.”

“I know and I’m sorry,” Loki said, feeling himself begin to panic. “I’m just not ready.” _I’ll never be ready._

Thor grabbed him, not so much to restrain him but to get his attention. “Then you aren’t ready. There’s nothing that says you have to do this now. We can come back when you are ready.”

“I’ll never _be_ ready,” Loki said. “How… _why_ should I face someone who so obviously hates me?”

“She’s your mother!” Helblindi yelled. “She doesn’t hate you.”

Loki spun on the boy. “She left me to die!” he roared. “That’s not exactly the best start to a mother-son relationship.”

“But—”

Thor held up a hand, “You want Loki to meet your mother but, Helblindi, you need to think about what’s best for Loki. You need to consider how Loki feels and if he’s not ready to meet Farbauti then he isn’t ready.”

Loki cast surprised eyes on Thor. “Who are you and what have you done with my brother?”

Color darkened Thor’s cheeks. “I have wronged you in so many ways brother and, unfortunately, I’m only now seeing just how badly I have done so. I want to make it up to you, though I honestly don’t know how. Whatever decision you make,” he gestured with his head towards the house, “I will support.”

Loki paused, turning his gaze back towards the house. The woman who had carried him in her belly, the one who was supposed to have loved and nurtured him and instead left him on a cold slab to die, was in that house. _If she hadn’t tossed me away, Odin would never have found me and I wouldn’t have grown up with Frigga as my mother. Thor wouldn’t be my brother and… and Odin wouldn’t be my father._

It surprised him how much the thought of _not_ having his family as his family hurt. Who would he be, had he not had their influence? Who would he be if they had not loved him the way they did?

_Love you?_ That damnable voice cackled. _You honestly think they love you. Your own_ mother _couldn’t stand to look at you, couldn’t stand the shame of having given birth to such a_ monster _. You are a beast, Loki_ Laufeyson _; you will never be anything more than a mindless beast, unwanted by all and only good for the entertainment of others._

Loki reached up and pulled at his hair. _Shut up, shut up,_ shut up!

“Loki?”

Loki opened his eyes and unclenched his hands from his hair. “I’m all right.”

“No, you aren’t,” Thor said gently. “Would you prefer if I went and spoke with her? You don’t _have_ to meet her.”

Loki swallowed, “No, I… If I don’t do this now then I’ll never do this.”

“I don’t want you getting hurt.”

He appreciated his brother’s concern. “I don’t think it can be avoided,” he replied. “No matter what I do. If I don’t speak with her then I’ll spend the rest of my life wondering why she threw me away. If I do see her, I can ask her _why._ ”

Thor pressed his lips together. “All right,” he said with a nod. “If this is what you want.”

Honestly, Loki didn’t know _what_ he wanted. All he did know was he couldn’t remain as he was. He supposed he didn’t necessarily want answers, he _needed_ answers. With a nod to Thor and Helblindi, they entered the house.

* * *

“It’s almost as though he burned from the inside,” Lady Eir said upon her examination of Priest Vörnir’s corpse.

Odin and Frigga, the remaining Priests and Priestesses of Jötunheim along with the members of Asgard’s council stood around the edges of the room. Priest Vörnir’s body lay within a Soul Forge and while Odin wasn’t a medical expert, even he knew the priest’s internal organs shouldn’t look like _that_.

“How can that be?” asked Priest Heidrek.

“That is what I am trying to determine,” Lady Eir replied. “I can see no signs of infection but I would still like to test all of you just to be sure.” She walked around the body, slowly removing the headdress and various other articles of clothing. She frowned at something she saw. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but Jötnar Priests are barred from having inked tattoos, yes?”

“Yes,” Priest Heidrek answered. “However if one was acquired prior to entering the priesthood, exceptions can be made. Why do you ask?”

She gestured the priest over and pointed to what she had seen. “This looks quite new.”

“It is,” Priest Heidrek said in surprise. “Vörnir had no tattoos but this…” he pressed his lips together. “I’ve never seen this before.”

Odin stepped forward to see the mark for himself. It sat along the back of Priest Vörnir’s neck, right below his left ear. To Odin’s eye, it appeared to be an ouroboros, a serpent biting its own tail. He had seen a mark like that before, long ago but… it couldn’t be _that_ mark because all references to _that_ particular marking had been destroyed ages ago.

Frigga stepped up to inspect the tattoo as well. “It appears to be a brand of some kind,” she remarked.

“Aren’t brands generally burned into the skin, not inked?” Priest Heidrek asked.

Frigga nodded, “Perhaps ‘brand’ isn’t the right word but…” she narrowed her eyes as she continued to inspect the marking. She stood, “Lady Eir, do you have a magnifying glass?”

“Yes,” Lady Eir replied, retrieving the item. She handed Frigga the magnifying glass, “Here you are.”

“Thank you,” Frigga said. She took the glass, enlarging the brand. “There is something written along the body of the snake. Rä… Rädsla Ormen.”

“Fear the Serpent?”

Odin’s blood ran cold. He knew that phrase. “No,” he muttered. It couldn’t be! Spinning on his heel, he left the healing chambers. He heard Frigga call after him but he ignored her. He made his way swiftly to the Vault then to the hidden chamber _underneath_ it.

Scones lit up within at his approach. There, rows upon rows of Asgard’s honored dead lay. Towards the back was the body of a gigantic wolf. Fenris lay unmoving, having died of grief at the loss of her beloved master. Hela’s mount did not concern him now. He moved past the wolf, allowing himself a brief moment to mourn the loss of his daughter, and entered the rooms the wolf guarded.

Once brilliant armor lay dull and rusted, much of it having fallen apart due to time. The body in which it encased long decayed; the bones barely more than dust. Only the skull had remained perfectly intact and around the left eye socket, the very same marking that had adorned the Jötunn priest’s neck.

“We bound you,” Odin said to the skull, his voice seeming quite loud within the chamber. “There is no way you can come back.”

The empty eye sockets of the skull seemed to glow red momentarily and Odin could have sworn he heard someone laughing. He inspected the warding surrounding the body, confirming it was still intact.

Odin’s own eye fell upon the other corpse to occupy the chamber. The second corpse was in much better condition than the first. He stepped around the first body and over to the second. Gently, he reached out and brushed his fingers through the woman’s ebony hair. If he hadn’t known any better, Odin would think his daughter to only be sleeping. He did know better though.

“I couldn’t kill you the first time,” he said, spinning around to face the first corpse, “and I was still too weak to try the second,” his hand gently squeezed Hela’s shoulder, “but I’ll be damned if I fail a third time.”

Giving his fallen daughter one last look, he stormed from the chamber, sealing it behind him once more. War was coming, he knew that now, and Asgard would not be the only realm to suffer. Should he fail to stop the Serpent’s influence, _all_ the Nine would be drenched in blood.

* * *

Loki followed Helblindi into the house with Thor not too far behind him. Loki glanced around the dwelling, noticing how _homely_ it appeared. It was hard to imagine a former queen lived here. Then again, Bestla’s place didn’t scream royalty either.

Helblindi’s excitement had returned as he led them through the house. “Mother,” he called. “Mother, are you awake? I’ve brought visitors.”

They heard movement as they neared what Loki guessed to be a bedroom. “Maybe we should wait out here,” he said.

Helblindi shook his head. “Mother doesn’t leave her bed often.”

Did Farbauti suffer a physical ailment as well as a mental one? The closer they came to the bedroom, the more frazzled Loki’s nerves became. He felt Thor squeeze his shoulder again in reassurance and it just _barely_ managed to keep Loki from bolting.

“Mother,” Helblindi said again as he opened the door. “How are you today mother?”

“Helblindi,” Farbauti replied, “I am doing well my darling. Come, sit with mother.”

Loki froze in the hallway at her voice. A rush of emotions tore through Loki, the tone of her voice was one he recalled near instinctually. She sounded loving. He couldn’t reconcile the tone of her voice with what he knew she had done. He could almost picture her (not that he knew what she looked like), swollen with child and speaking to her unborn babe while caressing her belly. It was at complete odds with what he knew. _Why did you throw me away?_ he wondered once again.

“I’ve brought guests,” Helblindi said. “They can’t wait to meet you mother.”

Loki wasn’t anywhere near as enthusiastic as Helblindi was trying to make him out to be.

“Oh?” Farbauti asked.

“Yes,” Helblindi returned to the doorway and pulled both him and Thor inside.

Farbauti had moved to sit on the edge of her bed. Her long dark hair was tied back in a neat braid, her skin a pale blue and her heritage lines looked so delicate one would be afraid they would be ruined should they be touched. Loki looked for any similarities between her and himself and realized, from what little he’d seen of himself while stuck in his Jötunn form, he did share features with her. He had her eyes and sharp cheekbones. He gripped Thor’s wrist, digging his fingers in to ground himself. Helblindi was grinning with excitement while Loki felt as though he would pass out at any second.

Farbauti’s expression was kind as she gazed at them, though confused. “You are Ǽsir,” she said.

They nodded.

“You’ve heard mormor speak of Uncle Odin’s sons?” Helblindi pointed, “That’s Thor,” Thor gave a little wave, “and that’s Loki.”

Loki’s cheek twitched but he was unable to form a smile.

“My nephews,” Farbauti said. “I am glad to meet you.”

“You remember our father?” Thor asked.

Farbauti nodded, “I remember Odin,” she frowned, “but he no longer remembers me.”

“Why is that?”

“Who cares right now?” Helblindi said with a roll of his eyes. “You’re never going to believe what we learned mother. You remember the baby father made you give away, the one mormor said you were going to name Loptr if it was a boy?”

_Loptr?_ Loki thought. He was glad he’d dodged that one.

Helblindi gestured to Loki. “That’s Loki. Uncle Odin saved him mother, Loki’s your son, he’s my brother.”

Farbauti’s expression went from open and pleasant, to twisted with murderous rage. “What!” she exclaimed.

Helblindi appeared confused by her outburst. “Mother?”

Farbauti’s eyes fell upon Loki and she stood from the bed. “No, no,” her voice rose as she spoke, “I killed you!”

He felt his back press against the wall as Thor pushed Loki behind him; his brother’s back pressed against his front.

“Mother!” Helblindi cried again, trying to get her attention.

Farbauti ignored him. “Monster!” she yelled. “ _Evil One! Destroyer of Worlds!_ ”

She rushed for him only for Helblindi to grab at her arm. “Mother, stop!”

She batted Helblindi aside, the boy falling back against the bed with a cry. Thor pressed against Loki, bringing Mjölnir up in defense. “I do not wish to hurt you,” Thor said.

“You are a monster,” she said to Loki, ignoring Thor, “the bringer of Ragnarök!” Loki refused to acknowledge just how much her rage _hurt._ She grabbed Thor’s arm and tossed him across the room as though he were nothing more than a child’s plaything. Her large hand gripped Loki around the neck before he’d had the chance to call forth his daggers, raising him from the ground. “I should have bashed your skull in the moment you left my body,” Farbauti growled.

Loki could feel his Ǽsir form shifting in response to her freezing touch. Her ruby eyes widened the more his pale skin gave way to azure. He struggled against her grasp. He kicked out at her side, hoping the strike would cause her to let him go.

Instead, Farbauti only tightened her hold. “You took everything from me. My reputation, my husband, my _home._ Not once did Laufey ever let me forget I had birthed a disgraceful _runt_ , more Ǽsir than Jötunn and then,” she laughed, “ _then_ there was the _prophecy_. That my first-born would be the one to bring about our destruction. I did not want to believe it at first, it was the only reason I carried you to term. How wrong I was since you were _born_ evil. You _cursed_ us; your very life is an abomination for the longer you live, the faster Jötunheim dies. You should not exist,” she raised her free hand, an ice dagger forming, “and I am going to rectify that mistake. The monster must die for the worlds to live. I should have known you still lived as only when your life ends will Jötunehim flourish.”

Farbauti let out a cry as she was struck from behind. Her grip on Loki loosened, allowing him to drop to the ground. Thor pulled him up and pushed him through the doorway. “Run!” Thor yelled.

Loki did and he heard Thor following behind. “What about Helblindi?” Loki asked, his voice rough.

“He’ll be fine,” Thor said, ushering Loki from the house. They burst outside to find Bestla rushing towards them.

“What did you do?” Bestla yelled at them, her ruby eyes hard with anger. “Are you daft boy? What were you thinking?”

“Helblindi wanted Loki to meet Farbauti,” Thor said, his tone defensive.

“Farbauti isn’t right in the head,” Bestla said. “All you have done is make her condition worse!”

Loki couldn’t hold back his whimper once she disappeared inside the house. He’d known, he’d _known_ his birth mother had tried to kill him as an infant but to have her try it again, to hear her call him a monster, an _abomination,_ hurt like nothing ever had before.

_You were supposed to love me,_ he thought. Thor reached for him but Loki brushed him aside. He needed… He didn’t know what he needed. He needed to be alone, he needed to be held, he needed… Loki ran back towards Bestla’s home, though he didn’t know why. His vision blurred and he reached up to wipe his eyes only to see blue skin. He nearly tripped. _No, no I refuse!_ It took no effort to return to his Ǽsir skin. _I’m not like her, I’m not like him._

 _Are you sure about that_ Laufeyson?

_I’m not Laufeyson!_

 _You cannot deny it. Your very_ skin _marks you as his. Conquering one Realm, destroying another…_ the hideous voice laughed, _To kill is in your blood boy. Embrace it!_

_No!_

“Loki,” Thor ran to catch up with him. “Loki, wait.”

Loki stopped but didn’t turn to Thor. What would his brother think of him now? Unless he was deaf, there was no way he hadn’t heard what Farbauti said. _And I’m hearing things._ Perhaps he was the one who was mad? He held up his hands, looking at his thin wrists. Maybe he is the one who should…

Thor’s hands wrapped around his wrists. “Whatever you’re thinking, stop.” There was desperation in Thor’s eyes. “Please Loki, don’t do anything rash. I’m supposed to be the idiot who makes reckless decisions, not you.”

Loki’s voice caught in his throat, “T-thor.”

“I’m here brother,” Thor said, wrapping Loki in his arms.

Loki wept against Thor’s shoulder. Everything he’d feared he was had been confirmed by the very woman who birthed him. He’d been born evil and every time he’d tried to do good it only ended up making the situation worse. Why had he been allowed to live?

“Come,” Thor said gently, “let’s go inside.”

Loki followed after Thor and when they entered the dwelling, they were met with Volstagg and Fandral’s concerned gazes. “What happened?” Volstagg asked.

Thor shook his head and led Loki back to their shared room. Thor carefully removed Loki’s boots and coaxed him to lay on the bed. “I’ll be right back.”

Thor left and a moment later Loki heard Volstagg angrily exclaim, “She did _what!_ ” The amount if parental anger in that tone honestly confused Loki. Volstagg and Fandral hadn’t been hostile to him but he still couldn’t fathom that they actually _cared_ for him. Anything they did had to be for Thor’s benefit.

Thor returned a short time later. He stripped off his boots then lay beside Loki, pulling him against his chest and holding him tight.

Loki’s eyes fell to a spot on Thor’s tunic and stayed there. He felt both numb and wrung out. He couldn’t understand what he had done to make everyone hate him so, beyond exist. _I didn’t ask to be born,_ he thought. _I didn’t ask for any of this._

“I’m almost afraid to ask what you’re thinking,” Thor said, his voice low. His fingers began to card through Loki’s hair, twisting around the curling locks Loki had neglected to tame.

Loki had no answer for him. His mind went from questioning and hating everything about himself to completely blank. He also knew he could not tell Thor any of the thoughts he did have. Thor would only argue against the way Loki saw himself. Loki couldn’t stand the thought of having just the tiniest spark of hope any reassuring words Thor might say would give. He could no longer stand the disappointment when it all was proven to be untrue. He pressed his face against Thor’s chest, thinking, _I don’t want to be evil._

Loki had heard the tales of Ragnarök, the event that would bring about the total destruction of Yggdrasil but never had he known _he_ was the one who would be the cause of it. Because of him, the World Tree would burn and all who dwelled within it would die. He could almost smell the coppery tang of spilled blood, taste it on his tongue and feel it, hot and thick, against his hands.

He whimpered and Thor hugged him tighter. Hot tears fell from his eyes and he hated that he couldn’t get them to stop. He hated everything, hated his births parents, the prophecy, his _destiny_ , his very _life,_ but most of all, Loki hated himself, hated everything that made Loki, _Loki._

Loki removed his hands from Thor’s tunic, one hand grabbed at his hair and pulled while the other dug deep scratches along his face. He wanted to hurt, he wanted to _bleed_ , something physical, anything to take his mind from the raging torrent inside him.

Thor let out his own cry, stilling Loki’s hands, “Loki what are you doing? Stop.”

_I’m not supposed to exist,_ Loki thought, _I’m supposed to be dead._ He looked up at Thor, a plea dying on his lips. No, he couldn’t ask that of Thor. He cared for his brother—

_He’s not your brother._

—too much.

He heard a sigh of frustration that was neither Thor’s nor his own. It was the voice he’d heard ever since their first ill-fated trip to Jötunheim, the one that had just decried Thor as his brother. _You know what you are. You know what you are destined to do. Why fight it little beast? You are a Prince of Death, the Worlds Ender. Embrace it and all of your pain will_ finally _end._

“Loki, please,” Thor pled, “don’t hurt yourself. I know you’re in pain but this isn’t any way to deal with it.”

Perhaps not, but maybe that was his problem. Instead of forcing the pain away as he had in the past, he’d let it overwhelm him. He needed to return to the uncaring Loki everyone had thought him to be before, he needed to embrace that false Loki and make it true.

Loki closed his eyes, suddenly feeling lightheaded. His swirling emotions were creating nothing but chaos within him. He just wanted to sleep, he wanted to flee from his reality and never return. He could already feel the blessed darkness pulling at him. He knew he should fight it but he just didn’t care. Let it take him.

“Loki,” Thor’s voice sounded distant and his thumb brushed at the side of Loki’s neck, just below his left ear, “what is this?”

The darkness engulfed him.

* * *

Night darkened the corridors of the palace and Frigga had felt nothing but dread since Priest Vörnir’s death. The spirts were whispering that something awful was coming and she feared for her family like never before.

She spotted her husband and made her way over to him. She had wanted to know where he had disappeared to earlier, why he had reacted as he had when she had read the inscription within the oroborus. Odin was keeping things from her and she did not appreciate it but neither could she think of how to broach the subject with him.

“Odin,” she said once she’d reached his side, trying to get his attention. Her husband didn’t turn at her voice, instead his single eye remained on something further down the corridor. Frigga followed his gaze and her eyes found the pale figure she had not noticed earlier. She felt a wave of relief and stepped forward, smiling, “Loki.”

Odin’s hand caught her arm, stopping her movement. She turned confused eyes on him, noticing for the first time the look he was giving their son. “Don’t Frigga.” Odin’s head shook just the tiniest bit. “You must flee, _now._ ”

There was no way she had heard him correctly. “Flee? Odin, what are you—”

“That is not Loki.”

She whipped her head around to take in their youngest, ready to protest. Odin was wrong, that _was_ her Loki but… her earlier relief swiftly changed to dread once she allowed herself to examine her son.

Loki smiled; the grin that split his face one she had never seen before. There was something unnatural about it but even worse than that were his eyes. His normally green eyes _glowed_ crimson. Those blood red eyes trained on Odin. “Hello brother,” the thing masquerading as her son said, “did you miss me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely satisfied with Farbauti's rantings, they felt almost forced. She does believe everything she said but... 
> 
> I also feel Loki may be a little OOC but he has been through quite a lot in such a short amount of time and would be worried if he wasn't acting a little different. Plus, he's had that voice messing with his head for a while too...


	12. Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cul returns to Asgard and he's already leaving a bloody trail behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've come to realize as I'm writing Cul that his personality is a strange mixture of the Gou'ald (Stargate SG-1), Lucifer (Supernatural) and Moriarty (BBC Sherlock). Cul is a character from the comics but I'm only really using the bare bones of him when it comes to who he is in comic canon. The rest I'm making my own.
> 
> We do backtrack just a little bit. Also, updates will probably be on a weekly basis from now on. If I try to do the every other day thing again I'll feel rushed and the quality will suffer and nobody wants that. The only reason I'd gotten away with it earlier is because I'd already had several chapters written.

**_Twelve_ **

“She did _what?_ ”

Thor felt somewhat relieved by Volstagg’s anger. He knew that, being a parent himself, Volstagg could never imagine leaving one of his _many_ children to die. The very idea was anathema to him. Volstagg continued to sputter with indignation on Loki’s behalf.

“How is Loki doing?” Fandral asked tentatively. “He can’t have taken such a reaction well.”

Thor scrubbed his hands down his face, fighting off the insane urge to burst into tears. “You didn’t see his face,” Thor replied. “Norns he… he was _crushed_. Farbauti was supposed to love him, nurture him and instead she… she tried to choke the life from him. The things she said…” Thor had only given them the barest of an explanation of what had happened during their meeting with Loki’s birth mother. “They were horrible but worse than that, I think he truly believes every vile thing she claimed him to be.”

His words caused his friends to flinch once more.

Volstagg’s face was nearly the same shade of red as his beard, so great was his anger on Loki’s behalf. Volstagg visibility forced himself to calm. The heavyset man placed a hand on Thor’s shoulder. “Your brother needs you now,” Volstagg said. “Give him comfort; reassure him Farbauti’s words are untrue.”

Thor nodded; he had been away from Loki for far too long as it was. Given the severity of Loki’s reaction, Thor was honestly afraid his brother might try to hurt himself. He returned to the room he shared with Loki. He wished more than ever that their mother were there. Frigga would know just the right words to say to help Loki. Thor felt woefully inadequate.

He returned to find Loki curled up upon the bed, his shoulders shaking from his quiet sobs. Thor’s heart broke further at the sight. Loki should never have to endure such pain.

Thor removed his boots and cloak then crawled next to his brother, pulling Loki into his embrace. Loki’s eyes opened, his green eyes shining from his tears. His vacant gaze worried Thor. “I’m almost afraid to ask what you’re thinking,” Thor said, breaking the silence.

Thor only now began to realize just how deeply Loki would bury his feelings. Thor had always taken Loki’s smiles and “I’m fine’s” at face value. How many times had his brother been hurting and Thor was too self-absorbed to bother digging deeper when needed. He wished Loki would rage, or scream, or cry, Hel _break things,_ as this silence was disquieting. Thor began to run his fingers through Loki’s hair to give himself something to do.

Loki didn’t react, continuing to stare blankly at some point on Thor’s tunic. Eventually Loki let out a whimper so Thor held him tighter. When Loki reached up to tug at his own hair and rake his nails down his face, Thor panicked, letting out a cry of his own. That was not the reaction he’d been hoping for.

“Loki what are you doing? Stop.” Frantically he grabbed Loki’s hands to still them. They struggled for a moment. “Loki, please, don’t hurt yourself. I know you’re in pain but this isn’t any way to deal with it.”

Loki ceased his struggles and Thor held him tightly with one arm while his other hand resumed brushing through Loki’s hair. _I’m terrible at this,_ Thor thought. _How do I help you? Oh brother, I wish I could take all of your pain away._

Loki’s eyes fell closed and Thor felt the tension finally easing from Loki’s body. He did not stop his ministrations, instead scratching lightly at Loki’s scalp. It was as he did this that he noticed something. Frowning, Thor sat up a little so he could better see the discoloration on his brother’s neck.

“Loki,” Thor asked, rubbing his thumb over the mark to see if it would come off, “what is this?”

Loki smiled and yet, it was not a smile Thor recognized. A crash from the other room drew Thor’s attention. There was a cry of shock followed by the sound of metal on metal, swords clashing. He sat up further only to stop at a sudden pain in his chest. The coppery tang of blood filled his mouth and he looked down to see one of Loki’s daggers protruding from his chest. “L-loki…?” Thor gasped.

That smile still plastered on his face, Loki sat up and opened his eyes. Like the smile, Thor did not recognize Loki’s eyes; they were no longer green like emeralds, but crimson like blood.

Thor dropped back to the mattress, trying to breathe through the blood filling his lungs. Loki dipped a finger into the blood running down Thor’s chest and placed that finger in his mouth, sucking the blood away.

“Blood always tastes best when it’s fresh,” Loki said as he stood. “It has to be warm, cold blood,” he shuddered, “it just doesn’t have the same flavor.”

Thor tried reaching for Loki again. Why would he do this? “Loki…”

Loki’s gaze turned towards the other room when the commotion out there continued. “They just couldn’t be quiet about it, could they?”

Thor had no idea what he was talking about, let alone what was going on or why Loki had stabbed him in the chest. He tried reaching for his brother again. It was becoming so hard to breathe. “L-lo…”

“What? Oh,” laughed Loki, “oh no, no, no.” The grin turned into a pout and yet Thor knew he was being mocked. “Loki? Is that what you’re trying to say?” He bent down and Thor was once again met with those crimson eyes. “So sorry to disappoint you but…” he straightened and shrugged, “Loki is dead. His body belongs to me now. Speaking of dead, your two friends should be making their way to the afterlife. Don’t worry, you’ll join them soon.”

“What… what are you?”

“Who, dear nephew. The question you mean to ask is; who are you? I’ll be kind and answer since you are about to depart this world. My name is Cul.” He put his hands on his hips. “Now I’m sure I know what your next questions are so save what little energy you have left. What am I going to do? I’m going to take what is rightfully mine, the entirety of the Nine Realms and beyond.” Cul shrugged nonchalantly. “Why am I doing this? Because I want to and I can. For too long have I had my birthright dangled before me with no means of taking it, all because Farbauti pushed her way out of the womb first.”

Thor found he could still scream when Cul pushed the blade further into his chest and twisted it just the tiniest bit. “Loki!”

For a brief moment, Loki’s eyes flickered to green but only for a moment. The crimson returned. “I told you, the little bastard is dead, however you can take heart that it is by his hand you die. His face will be the last that you see and when you do pass into Hel, do give your sister my regards.”

Thor’s vision swam, this couldn’t be happening, _it couldn’t!_ Loki wasn’t dead, he refused to believe that. Thor tried to get up but the pain was too great and he had lost too much blood. Was this really how it was going to end? _No!_ Thor thought venomously. He wouldn’t allow it. He had failed to save his brother once, he’d be damned if he failed again.

Thor was determined to rise; his body on the other hand had other ideas. He barely registered Sif and Hogun’s faces as his consciousness left him.

* * *

Cul stepped out into the main area. His mother hadn’t returned from Farbauti’s home and as much as he wanted to confront her, he had no inclination of doing so right that second. He had other things he needed to attend do, like returning to _his_ palace.

He saw that the flamboyant playboy and the overlarge idiot were on the ground, blood seeping from underneath their bodies. He felt his lips turn up in a smile, ah blood, how he’d missed that smell, the taste. Unfortunately what scent of fear there had been in the air had completely dissipated with their fall.

The shieldmaiden and Vanir warrior returned to stand over the bodies. When the woman’s eyes found him, they blazed with hatred. How much of that hatred was aimed at him and how much of it was for Loki, he neither knew nor cared. He stepped over to her and ran a finger down her cheek. He breathed deep of her hatred.

“Dispatch the other three,” he ordered them. “Then make your way to Utgard and kill Býleistr. Report back to Asgard once you have finished.”

They both saluted him silently then left the dwelling. Cul followed them outside and cast his gaze to Jötunheim’s sky. He knew Heimdall would not answer his call so instead he tapped into his vessel’s memories for his knowledge of world walking. He cracked his neck then let the seiðr flow. It still amazed him just how much raw _power_ Loki possessed. Reality seemed to part for him and Cul stepped into the ether. When he emerged, the golden spires of Asgard’s palace rose before him.

Cul’s smile returned as he made his way towards the palace. He couldn’t wait to see the expression on his brother’s face once Odin realized what had happened. Cul knew he had already beaten Odin and laughed as he recalled his younger brother’s earlier declaration. Odin would lose because he did not have the strength to kill him. Loki would die; it was only a matter of time before his spirit faded away, but to have Odin be the one to try to deliver the killing blow? Odin hadn’t been able to kill Hela, there was no way he would be able to kill Loki.

Cul breathed deep, it had been so long since he had had actual lungs in which to take in the fresh air of Asgard. While he preferred the scent of fear and blood, he could appreciate the crisp, clean Asgardian air. He allowed himself a moment to savor it, knowing the air would soon become all the sweeter once it was filled with the scent of blood.

Cul finally made his way inside, his path unimpeded. In no time at all, he found himself within the royal apartments. He stopped when a figure entered his path. He let his eyes rove over Odin. Cul was almost disappointed, Odin was _old_. Cul had wanted one last grand battle against the so-called _Allfather_ but knew such a battle would never come.

He was not disappointed however, when it became obvious his brother knew it was not his son who stood before him. The quick scent of fear along with the fleeting look of sadness Odin was quick to suppress only invigorated Cul. Odin’s expression hardened.

When a second figure entered the hallway, Cul felt his stolen heart shudder. Frigga had only grown more beautiful in her age and he savored the look of happiness she gave him upon seeing him. Granted it wasn’t _him_ she was glad to see but he didn’t care. She would come to see him in this visage and not the boy she had once called her son.

Frigga made to rush to him only to be stopped by her husband. Her look of confusion then despair was not something Cul savored. Frigga’s pain was something Cul had never taken pleasure in.

“Hello brother,” Cul said, finally breaking his silence, “did you miss me?”

“Cul,” Odin replied, his voice and expression hard.

Frigga’s voice was incredulous. “Cul?”

Odin pulled Frigga behind him, “Run Frigga.”

Cul’s smile dropped. He was not about to let his brother deny Cul another thing that was rightfully his. With a mental gesture, the corridor filled with Einherjar. Several soldiers grabbed the former king and queen, restraining them. One pulled Gungnir from Odin’s hand and presented it to Cul.

“What is this?” Frigga cried. “Unhand us.”

“They will not listen Frigga,” Odin told her. “Cul has them under his thrall, they cannot hear you.”

Frigga stopped struggling and turned her gaze back to him. Her eyes searched him, probably hoping to find some sign of her son. “Loki.”

Cul twitched as the spirit inside him responded to her voice. He forced the boy’s spirit back into submission before it could fully emerge. “Loki is dead,” Cul said. He ran his hands down along _his_ sides. “I have to say, for a beast he does have a wonderful body. Much better than my last one to say the least and,” he let out a sigh of pleasure, “full of such _power_.”

“Where is Thor?” Odin asked.

Cul dropped his hands. “Are you speaking of tall, blonde and stupid? He’s dead too. I put a blade through his heart.” Cul laughed. “You should have seen the look on his face when ‘his brother’ stuck the blade between his ribs. Dumb bastard whined like a little bitch.” His voice took on a falsetto tone. “‘Loki, Loki why are you doing this?’” Cul savored the looks of horror Odin and Frigga failed to hide. He motioned to the Einherjar who held his brother and sister-in-law. “Bring them.”

Cul led the way through the palace and down to the Vault where he knew Asgard’s most powerful artefacts were housed. They bypassed all of the lesser items, to include some that were complete fakes, to where a large flame sat burning within a low scone. He made his way over to the fire and reached his hand inside of it. The fire didn’t burn him, instead it sent a wave of pleasure washing through him.

When he removed his hand, a small portion of the flame remained floating above his open palm. “I suppose I don’t need to remind you of the power of the Eternal Flame,” Cul said as he started back out of the Vault. He spoke over his shoulder as they walked. “Has my brother ever told you what lays underneath the palace?” he asked Frigga. “Or, for that matter,” he gestured around them, “where all of this gold came from?”

“I know about the wars,” Frigga replied tersely. “I know all about _your_ part in them.”

“My part,” Cul laughed. “Ah, yes, I suppose I did have some small part in them. However, you cannot always believe the history books. I was not responsible for Odin’s part in it.”

“But you were for Hela,” Odin growled. “You took her purpose and twisted it to suit your needs.”

Cul hummed. “The Goddess of Death; appropriately named once I showed Hela her true calling.”

Odin yelled, “Hela was meant to guide newly deceased souls to the afterlife—”

“She did guide them if I recall correctly,” interrupted Cul.

“You turned her into a murderer!”

Cul laughed again, “That’s right. She took to bloodshed quite nicely.”

They continued on their way, the group slipping into a passage that led under the Vault. Scones blazed to life upon their entrance, lighting up rows upon rows of corpses.

“While the living can be brought under my control, there is always the possibility they can break free. The dead on the other hand…” With a flourish, Cul sent out the Flame to engulf the entirety of the lower chamber. It swept over the corpses and soon their empty eye sockets began to glow an otherworldly green and the bodies convulsed. When the convulsions stopped, the newly reanimated bodies rose from their resting places.

Fenris howled her rebirth and Cul found great satisfaction at the sound Odin let out when Hela emerged from the antechamber beyond. Her lovely corpse twitched as it seemed to fight against the renewed life the Eternal Flame had brought to it. Her spirit, however, remained firmly planted in Hel.

Cul turned back to face Odin and Frigga. “For too long I have been cast aside and denied that which is rightfully mine. Asgard and the rest of the Realms belong to _me_ and I fully intend to remind all of Yggdrasil of that. My armies shall once more travel out across the stars and bring all of the Realms to heel and I do not plan to stop at nine.” He stepped up until he was nearly nose-to-nose with Odin. “I will wait to kill you though, brother, because I want you to see everything you have built fall apart. I want you to live long enough to see _everything_ that should have been mine returned to me and when the day comes that I finally do kill you… It will be a pleasure to witness your final moments as you see the power of the Allfathers come to me, as it should have long ago.”

“There is a reason father passed you over for the throne,” Odin said. “You do not have what it takes to be king. You have no care for anyone in these Realms but yourself.”

“I am a god,” Cul replied, “what care do I need to have _but_ for myself?”

“We’re not gods Cul. We’re born, we live, we die, the same as everyone else.”

“Some of you die,” he shrugged, “after several thousand millennia or so. Those of us who have become true gods live forever.” He stepped back and spread his hands wide, “I have moved beyond such mortal constraints.”

“You are no god,” Frigga growled. “You’re nothing but a parasite.”

Cul lowered his arms, resisting the urge to strike her for her insolence. “This wouldn’t have been required had my original body not been destroyed.” He gestured to the body he now occupied. “I am not to blame for this. If anyone is to blame, it is Odin. If I had just been given what is rightfully mine, well, so much could have been avoided.”

With a gesture from him, Hela led the armies of the dead from beneath the palace while Cul and his entourage made their way to the council chambers. He gripped Gungnir tight, a smile playing on his lips. A formal transition of power was only a formality. By the end of the night, _all_ of Asgard would bow before their true king and those who refused, well, off with their heads.

* * *

Loki curled up tighter, hoping to stave off the cold that surrounded him. It was dark, wherever he was, but he could make out the steady drip, drip, drip of water nearby. Loki’s eyes had adjusted to the dim light enough for him to see that he was locked in a cell, the iron bars too strong for him to break. Not that he could have broken them anyway with his small size. The spacing between the bars was also too small for him to try crawling through also. He was scared and he hugged his knees tighter as a soft whimper escaped his lips.

So many questions buzzed through Loki’s mind. Where was he? Why was he here? Where were mama, papa and Thor? Were they locked up too? If they were locked in here too they would be able to hear him if he called. Maybe… maybe he wasn’t as alone here as he thought.

Loki uncurled himself and crawled towards the bars. “Mama. Papa,” he called, “Thor, are you here?”

Loki reached for the bars but as soon as his hands touched them, he let out a scream of pain. He pulled his hands back but not before they had been burned. Fat tears ran down his cheeks as he began to cry.

Loki’s cries caught in his throat when he heard the sound of a rusty door open then close. He scurried back away from the bars, the pain in his hands forgotten as he tried to push himself into a far corner of the cell. If whoever was coming couldn’t see him, then they couldn’t hurt him.

He was somewhat relieved when the person, a tall woman, finally came into view. She didn’t look scary in the dim light, although her clothes were torn in several places. Her long ebony hair hung loose, with a small portion covering the right side of her face. She stopped outside of the cell, her eyes examining the heavy iron door and she frowned in displeasure.

Even in the darkness of the cell, her eyes seemed to find him anyway. Loki sat frozen, his hands in extreme pain, trying to remain silent and praying to the Norns that whoever the woman was, whatever she wanted, she wouldn’t hurt him.

“I know you are there, little one,” the woman said gently. “I will not harm you but you have been hurt, haven’t you? Come here and let me see.”

Loki, for reasons unknown to himself, found himself complying with her request. She looked so kind and yet, so sad. Loki approached the bars with apprehension, holding his burnt hands close to himself.

The woman reached in between the bars and held her own hands towards him, palms up. “You are not yet strong enough to withstand the power of these bars little one,” she said, taking one of his hands in hers and brushing his palm with the tips of her fingers. The pain went away and Loki gasped as he felt his hand heal. She repeated the action on his other hand. “You cannot allow yourself to despair for it only gives strength to the bars.”

“Where am I?” Loki asked tentatively.

She continued to rub his hands and Loki felt warmth begin to seep into him. “Do you remember what your mother told you to do when you are afraid?” she asked instead.

Loki shook his head, his eyes welling with tears. “I want mama. Where is mama?”

“She is very worried about you,” the woman replied. “She and papa are trying to find you. You just need to give them a little more time.”

Loki sniffled, taking one hand back to rub at his face. “I wanna go home.”

“I know you do little one. Now, what did mama say for you to make when you are frightened?”

“M-my light?”

“That’s right. Can you do that Loki? Can you make your light?”

Loki took his other hand back and held both up before him. He squinted at the area between them, willing the light mama had taught him to make to come into being. It was small at first, just a spark, but finally the spark grew into a green witchlight. He smiled, his fear temporarily gone as the cell lit up. “I did it!” He looked to the woman and gasped. He dropped his head shyly. “You’re pretty,” he mumbled.

She laughed softly, “Thank you little one and you should be very proud of your light, it is very beautiful.”

Loki looked back at the light hovering above his palms. It was comforting to have his light. He pulled it close to him.

“I need you to do something very import for me Loki, do you think you can do that?”

“What?”

“Do not let your light go out. Work to make it brighter and brighter.”

“Why?”  
“Because if your light goes out, mama and papa won’t be able to find you and you will be trapped in here forever.”

Fear raced back into Loki, his light dimming just the tiniest bit as his eyes darted around the cell. If that happened, he’d never see mama, papa or Thor ever again. “I’ll make it brighter,” he promised. “I won’t let my light go out.”

The woman smiled, “Good.” She pulled her hands back through the bars and stood. “I have to leave for now but I will come back as soon as I can.”

The thought of being alone again terrified Loki but he looked down at his light and felt the coldness of the cell and his fear retreat just the tiniest bit more. “How long will you be gone?”

“I don’t know but...” she pulled a small wriggling item from her tattered clothing and placed it in the cell.

Loki watched the item, which was actually a small animal, stand and let out a yip. Loki found himself smiling, “Puppy.”

The dog, no the wolf, turned its green eyed gaze upon him and let out another yip. The wolf looked up at the woman then trotted over to the far side of the cell, seeming to grow as it moved. By the time it reached the wall it had grown well beyond puppy size. Loki tentatively moved over to it and reached out to pet the wolf.

“Fenny—”

The wolf huffed.

The woman rolled her eyes. “ _Fenris_ will stay with you until I can return. She is a good wolf and will keep you safe. You are not alone little brother.”

The woman left and Fenris lay on the ground and let out little woofs at Loki until he finally moved to lay down against her. Her fur was soft and so _warm_ and Loki found himself rubbing his cheek against her shoulder. He curled up against her warmth and cradled his light against his chest. It was as he was settling down that her last words finally hit him.

“Little brother?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, I've changed the circumstances behind Hela's actions back when the Realms were conquered. Also, Loki's mind at the end of this chapter has reverted to that of a young child because lets make things more confusing! *throws glitter _everywhere_ * 
> 
> The light thing is something I'd used in another of my fics "Another Man's Treasure".


	13. Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cul stakes his claim, Thor has a pain in his chest and Loki meets a sinister figure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear God, Cul likes to talk.
> 
> I'm not entirely satisfied with this chapter. I felt like I was going around in circles with the same topic over and over again.

**_Thirteen_ **

Cul led their party through the palace corridors until they came upon the council chamber. The councilors and Jötun Priests had been roused and ordered back to the chamber. Their entrance was met with varying degrees of shock by those already in attendance. Every one of the Councilors rose, some more swiftly than others.

“What is the meaning of this?” demanded Councilman Alfar.

“We’re here to right a grievous wrong,” Cul replied, taking his place at the head of the table.

“Why do you have Gungnir?” Councilman Ulr asked.

“You would do well to address your King properly,” Chancellor Imir replied.

“Our king? Imir, what is going on?” Alfar tone displayed a forced calm. “You’re the one who told us the king had stripped Prince Loki of his titles and that he be sent to Jötunheim so that he may face Jötnar justice for the death of Laufey-King. We would like some clarification on that and also why the king and queen appear to be under arrest.”

“They are under arrest,” answered Cul, “for treason against the crown.” He cast his gaze across at those gathered. “Where is Karsten?”

“She was ordered imprisoned,” Imir replied. “She will be here shortly.”

“Excellent,” Cul sat, draping himself over the king’s chair. He gestured to them all, “Sit so that we may get started.”

Reluctantly, the councilors and priests sat. There was still a fair amount of confusion on their part and Cul saw no reason to drag things out. He would not risk his victory turning into a defeat. He turned his attention to the priests. “You will return to Jötunheim and inform the Realm that Laufey and Farbauti’s long lost son has returned to claim the throne.”

His declaration was met with looks of disbelief. “Pardon?” Priest Heidrek asked, his ruby eyes wide.

“You heard me.”

“I know that is the justification Vörnir claimed to have been given as to why you were sent to Jötunheim but we never received any proof beyond your Chancellor’s word.”

“Is my word not enough?” Chancellor Imir asked haughtily.

“In this instance, no,” replied Heidrek. “We require something a bit more substantial when it comes to the line of succession for our Realm.”

“How’s this, then?” Cul asked, shifting Loki’s visage to that of his Jötunn form. He couldn’t help but grin at the sharp intakes of breath this new form produced, to include several poorly hidden looks of disgust. Cul continued, “I, Loki Laufeyson,” and oh, did Odin not like that one bit, “do hereby claim my birthright, the thrones of both Jötunheim _and_ Asgard.”

“Asgard?” Councilwoman Margit cried. “As Laufeyson, you have no right to Asgard’s throne!”

Cul felt his grin return. He gestured to Imir. “Mimir, please enlighten the councilwoman.”

Confusion once again permeated the chamber. Cul rolled his eyes as he returned his body to its Æsir form. “Yes, I said Mimir, not Imir.” He turned his gaze to the man. “You remove one letter from your name and suddenly no one knows who you are.”

“I did more than just change my name,” Mimir replied.

Cul winced, “Right, the beheading.” He rubbed at his own neck. “I suppose that’s a decent enough reason.”

Mimir hummed in agreement. “Not an experience I ever wish to repeat.”

Their attention was drawn to the chamber doors when General Tyr entered with Councilwoman Karsten at his side. Cul rose from his chair, his lips splitting into a wide grin. “Karsten, so wonderful to see you. I hope your temporary accommodations were not too horrible.”

“My lord,” Karsten replied with a bow. “They were… not the best place I could have resided.”

Cul waved a hand, “An unfortunate set of circumstances that shall not be repeated, I assure you. Though, now that _everyone_ is gathered; Mimir, Karsten, please explain to them why I am the lawful ruler of the Nine.”

“Queen Farbauti of Jötunheim was born Princess Farbauti of Asgard. Queen Bestla’s first child was not our Lord Cul,” Karsten explained, “but Farbauti.”

“A Jötun?” Councilman Bjarni exclaimed. “Absurd!”

“Alas, it is true,” Cul said. “Show of hands, who here remembers that Bestla was Jötunn?” Cul raised a hand and cast his gaze around the room. The only others in the room to raise their hands were Karsten and Mimir. Cul wasn’t bothered by a non-response from Odin and Frigga. He had no doubt they knew that truth. Cul placed his hands on his hips as he turned his gaze to the Jötnar priests. “None of you? Now that’s just sad. There is no way you have forgotten the names of all of Ymir’s descendants. If you have, well, that is _so_ disappointing.

“Well, whether or not any of you remember, the truth of it is that Farbauti was the true heir to the throne of Asgard and not Odin. When she died, the line of succession passed on to me. None of you can deny the heritage lines you saw, can you?”

The Jötnar exchanged looks then Heidrek, somewhat reluctantly, replied, “No.”

“Great!” Cul clapped his hands together. “Now that that is out of the way, lets return to the business at hand, shall we. You,” he gestured to the priests, “will return to Jötunheim as I said earlier and make your announcement. Have whatever is left of Laufey’s court, and whatever passes for nobles among you beasts, make their way to Utgard so they can swear fealty to their king.” When he received no reply, Cul moved away from his seat. “I’m sensing some reluctance. Is it the youth? Do I appear too young to rule over all of Yggdrasil?” Slowly, Cul began to circle the table. “I admit, barely over one thousand years old is quite young, all things considered, but don’t let this handsome face fool you, I am more than old enough for the task.

“Also, send word out among the Realms to begin preparing their armies for war. Asgard has suffered under Odin’s rule. It has become… weak. The Ǽsir are a warrior race, pray tell why the glory of war has been abandoned?” He came to a stop before Odin. “Why did you stop at Nine Realms? Yggdrasil’s lesser branches are no less important. However, I should think our first order of business is to remind Midgard who their gods are and that our… benevolence, shall once again be bestowed upon them.”

“You have never been benevolent, _Cul,_ ” Odin said.

At the use of his name, Cul backhanded his brother. Much to his displeasure, Odin didn’t fall but he did stumble back slightly.

“Cul?” someone behind them asked.

Cul saw no point in continuing to pretend to be Loki any longer. He turned back to those sitting around the table. “Alas, my brother has spoiled the surprise. Yes, though the body you see before you is that of Loki, the spirit residing within is _not_ Loki. I am indeed Cul Borson, returned from my exile to take back that which rightfully belongs to me.”

“That’s impossible,” Ulr said.

Cul pulled his hair away from his neck long enough to expose the mark of the oroborus. “Whether or not you believe is irrelevant,” he dropped his hand, “the fact of the matter is, I have returned and with Loki’s body as my own, I have every proof of my claim to the throne.”

“None would dare oppose you, my king,” Karsten said.

Cul stepped away from Odin and made his way over to the woman. “No, they wouldn’t.” Before Karsten or anyone else in the room could react, Cul manifested one of Loki’s daggers and used it to slice open Karsten’s throat. Cries erupted from those at the table.

Karsten immediately grabbed at her throat, “M-m-my k-k-king…” she gurgled as the blood gushed from the severed artery. “Why?”

Cul watched her collapse, the blood pooling around her. He shared a look with Mimir, the only one at the table who had not reacted, then turned back to the dying woman. “You tried to have my vessel killed. You bought into Mimir’s prophecy a little too much. Ragnarök will come but it won’t be at the hands of pathetic little Loki.”

“It wasn’t hard to change the prophecy once Loki was brought to Asgard,” Mimir said.

Karsten gave one last pathetic gurgle, then she stilled forever. Cul dipped a finger in her blood to have a taste. She had extruded _wonderful_ fear as she died. He spat the blood out the moment it hit his tongue. “What a waste,” he said to the corpse, “you couldn’t even do that right.” He sighed in disappointment then motioned to Tyr. “Remove this trash.”

Tyr moved quickly to carry out the order.

“Why Loki?” Frigga asked, speaking for the first time since entering the chamber. “Why change the prophecy to name him as the bringer of Ragnarök?”

He knew her real question had nothing to do with Ragnarök and everything to do with Loki himself.

“Do you have any idea how hard it was to break him down?” Cul asked instead. “I knew I would have to wait until his body was strong enough to house me without burning out. While I waited, I was able to begin breaking his spirit.

“The boy was surprisingly stubborn on that front. I started with the little things, pulling forth any kind of jealousy, inciting his peers to bully him, making him feel inadequate. His pursuit in the arts of seiðr proved to be an easy mark. It helps that seiðr is still considered taboo among men here. Did you really have to encourage him? Things could have gone so much faster if you had you only disapproved.”

Cul let out a long sigh. “Every time I broke away a little bit of his spirit one of you two or _big brother_ would do or say something to reassure him. Don’t get me wrong, I pounced on any insecurity I could, reinforcing them with the help of the warriors.” He pursed his lips. “I have to say, that one friend of Thor’s was all too easy to manipulate. All I needed was a hint of fear, jealousy or any negative emotion and I more often than not had my way in. Sif is quite obsessed with Thor. I’m fairly certain she would murder those she calls friends if they had taken too much of Thor’s attention from her. She absolutely _hated_ Loki.

Cul made his way back towards Odin. “Would you like to know what Loki’s breaking point was? It was learning he was Jötunn.” Cul laughed, “If I had known all I needed was for the boy to learn the truth I would have made sure he found out ages ago. So thank you, brother, for taking such good care of my new body and the exposure of your lies be what I needed to stake my claim. I shall be sure to make good use of it.

“Take Odin to the dungeon and make sure his accommodations are as unpleasant as possible.” The guard closest to his brother hauled Odin off.

“What will you do with Frigga?” Mimir asked.

“Lock her in her chambers; though be sure to remove anything she could use for spell work.” To Frigga he said. “I won’t have you trying to escape, my dear.” To Mimir once more, “Also, draw up a divorce decree for her and Odin. Can’t have her still legally married when I take back my bride.”

“Bride?” Alfar asked

Cul hummed, standing before Frigga. “Yes, another thing Odin stole from me. Once their divorce is finalized, send out a wedding announcement. I will take my queen with all due haste.” Frigga glared at him. “You were meant to be my bride,” he said to her, “and I mean to take _all_ that belongs to me.” With that, he grabbed her chin and kissed her.

* * *

Awareness came to Thor suddenly and he shot up only to cry out and fall back against the mattress. He struggled to breathe around the pain in his chest. His eyes darted around trying to understand where he was and why he was in such pain. Then he remembered the dagger that had been imbedded in his chest and he reached for the wound, his fingers pulled at bandages instead. Someone grabbed his hand to stop him.

“Easy Thor,” Volstagg said, pulling Thor’s hand away to keep him from opening his wound. He called out for someone and an elder Giant entered Thor’s vision.

“You must lay back down and try to relax Asgardian,” the Giant said. “You are lucky to even be alive, another fraction of an inch to the left and you would be dead.”

“Wh-what happened?” Thor asked between breaths.

“You were stabbed,” Volstagg replied. “Sif and Hogun attacked us. Fandral is recovering while poorly attempting to woo the giantess who is nursing him.”

“Where’s Loki?” Thor was terrified of the answer.

Volstagg’s expression turned sorrowful. “He was gone when I came to. I’m sorry Thor; I don’t know where he is.”

“Enough talk,” the Giant gave Volstagg a look that Lady Eir would be proud of. “You need to get back in bed, and you,” he turned back to Thor, “it wasn’t a suggestion when I said you need to relax. The dagger broke your sternum and you are going to be in a lot of pain while it heals.”

Thor’s eyes returned to Volstagg and his large friend waved a hand. “It pays to be voluminous,” Volstagg replied, patting his stomach. “The fat took the brunt of the blow.”

“And if you pull your stitches, I will not be gentle in replacing them,” the Giant said to Volstagg. “Back to bed with you.”

Volstagg gave Thor’s shoulder a gentle squeeze before complying with the healer’s demands.

It hurt to breathe, even when he took slow breaths but Thor did as instructed and lay back against the pillows. The healer gave him something to drink to ease the pain. It helped but it also put Thor to sleep as well.

When he awoke the next time, he was in far less pain but no less confused. Thor gently sat up and, yeah, _that hurt!_ He pressed a hand against his chest and took a moment to gather himself.

“Gorbon distinctly said you should be resting,” Bestla said from where she sat at Thor’s bedside. “Such movement will only cause you more pain.”

Thor swallowed around the pain in his chest. Yes, it hurt, but he would suffer through it so he could get answers. “No more secrets Bestla,” Thor said through gritted teeth, “you need to tell me _everything_ about Cul.”

“Cul is dead,” Bestla said, folding her arms across her chest.

“Then what happened to my brother? That _thing_ who stabbed me was not Loki. He said his name was Cul and, Norns help me, I believe him. Loki had a mark on his neck, a snake eating its own tail. That mark had not been on him earlier.”

At the mention of the mark, Bestla stiffened. “Cul’s body was destroyed long ago,” she finally said, “but his spirit remained very much alive. He can reside in the ether but prefers to inhabit hosts.”

“Are you saying he’s been jumping from body to body ever since? Why take Loki?” Thor hated how his next question was going to sound. “What makes him so special?”

“The King of Asgard rules over more than just Asgard, as you know. The King of Asgard is also the High King of the Nine Realms. By all rights, Loki is heir apparent to the Nine Realms. By birthright, Loki has a much stronger claim to the throne than you. Cul knows this and will most likely use that to his advantage. Plus, the amount of magical power Loki possesses will keep his body from burning out with Cul inhabiting him.”

“How do I save Loki?”

Bestla sighed. “You don’t.”

“There has to be something!” Thor cried. He swung his legs over the bed and made to stand. His breath left him as the pain in his chest increased to the point he nearly blacked out. He didn’t recall falling back to the bed but when his vision cleared, he was once more lying down and there was a distinct line of crimson marking his bandages.

“There is nothing you can do,” Bestla’s voice was gentle. “Loki has to expel Cul himself.”

“How do we kill Cul?” Thor asked once he was able.

“I’ll not help you to kill my son. I’m sorry but, Loki is already lost.”

“How can you say that? Why are you so quick to give up on Loki?”

“Cul cannot simply take someone’s body at will. Someone can invite him in but that rarely is the case. He requires a means if entry, some break within their spirit, a… a sense of giving up on life. Loki was not strong enough to resist him.”

Thor shook his head, hating her words. He wanted to rage against her, to tell her Loki was strong and even though Cul had Loki now, there was no way Loki would ever just give up. He had been delivered a severe blow, there was no arguing that. “There has to be a way to free Loki from Cul.”

“Loki has to want his freedom. If Cul is in full control then I fear Loki is already irrevocably lost.”

Thor couldn’t believe Bestla was giving up on Loki so quickly. She didn’t know his brother, she didn’t know just how strong Loki was. Yes, Loki had not taken the truth of his heritage well and honestly, Thor couldn’t blame him. Thor doubted he would have taken the news any better had he been the one born to Laufey.

“I refuse to believe there is no saving Loki. We were told he was lost when he was first sent here and I refused to believe it then.” He turned his head to glare at her. “Earlier you said Cul was dead and buried and now you say his spirit has taken Loki for his own. You’ve also just said you wouldn’t help me to kill him so which is it? Is Cul dead or alive?”

Bestla turned her own glare to him. “I cannot help you where Cul is concerned. He has made many mistakes, done acts of great evil but he is still my son and I will not be responsible for his loss again.”

“He tried to kill his sister and if I recall my history correctly, he was responsible for the deaths of Vili and Vé and he paid for those crimes with his life.” Thor softened his tone. “Cul should be dead, yet his soul has held on to this world. It is unnatural Bestla.”

“Regardless, I won’t harm my son. He lives on now in Loki.”

Thor felt as though he was talking to a wall. Actually, he would probably have better luck with a wall. “Ah, so while Loki is your grandson as long as you didn’t give birth to him his life means nothing to you, I see.”

“Don’t you dare put words in my mouth boy!” Bestla cried. “I have been watching the both of you from afar since you were small boys and I do love you both.”

“Then prove it! Help me save my brother.”

“I told you, there is nothing any of us can do for Loki, he is already lost. His body will eventually burn out and when it does, Cul’s spirit will return to the ether.” She stood, “This discussion is over and I will not entertain such ideas any further.” She left the room and if it wouldn’t cause Thor extreme pain, he would have screamed.

Thor lay there fuming, wanting nothing more than to chase after Cul and demand he give Loki back. There had to be a way to free Loki, some way to communicate with him long enough to convince him to expel Cul.

Thor feared even if they should manage such a thing, Loki wouldn’t listen to him. Thor wished he had fought against his sense of embarrassment when it came to his fascination with Loki’s magic. Instead, he had teased his brother for his interests in _womanly pursuits_. Maybe if he had encouraged Loki more as they were growing up, then maybe his brother wouldn’t have falling into such a depression. If Thor hadn’t been such a coward mayhap he could have helped Loki avoid it entirely.

Thor didn’t know how long he lay there after Bestla had left before the healer, Gorbon if Thor remembered correctly, returned to check on him. After changing Thor’s bandages Gorbon said, “Your wound is healing nicely.”

“How long until I can leave?” Thor asked.

“It will be several weeks before your wound heals completely.” Gorbon handed a confused Thor another pillow. “Hold this against your chest and cough. It will be painful but it will help in the end.”

Thor did as he was told and immediately regretted it. He felt as though he was suffocating when the pain made it nearly impossible to breathe. “Don’t you have some way to speed up the healing?” Thor asked when he could speak again.

“Unlike Asgard, we no longer have any working Soul Forges here. At the end of the war, any means we had of obtaining and advancing our healing arts was lost. Asgard is partly to blame for our decline but at the same time, we did it to ourselves. We allowed Laufey to become corrupt in his power. The old religions were brought back as well. Personally, I believe our decline is the Norns’ way of punishing us for our hubris.”

“I can’t stay here waiting weeks to heal. My brother… he is in danger and I have to help him.”

“Ah, so that is why her majesty was so upset.”

Thor huffed, ignoring the pain the action caused. “She doesn’t care about Loki; it’s only Cul she’s worried about.”

Gorbon frowned then took a seat in the chair Bestla had occupied earlier. “I have cared for Queen Farbauti ever since she first came to live on Jötunheim. I helped her through all three of her pregnancies and, runt or not, I was glad to learn was the child I had thought lost to the old ways had been saved from such a horrible fate.

“You have to try and see this from Queen Bestla’s point of view. Prince Cul is her son and she feels responsible for him.”

“He tried to murder his family and did kill at least two of his brothers,” Thor replied. “She seems convinced there is no hope for Loki. I do not believe that to be the case. It’s like she doesn’t even want to try. Why does Loki need to suffer, why should Loki be lost because she wants Cul back?”

“He shouldn’t,” Gorbon said and Thor felt a bit of relief that _someone_ agreed with him. “However until you have children of your own you won’t understand a parent’s need to protect their child.”

“Can you think of any way to save Loki?”

Gorbon sat in silence for a while. “When Cul first became what he is now, the king and queen were devastated. I don’t need to remind you of the dangers that any heir to the throne faces but to learn that one of those threats is your own child,” Gorbon shook his head, “neither of them wanted to believe Cul capable of murdering his own siblings, let alone his own twin. Queen Farbauti was sent here for her own safety. After the deaths of Vili and Vé, they had no choice but to name Odin as heir apparent and order Cul’s execution.”

“Why does no one remember any of this? Bestla said they’d had to erase Cul’s deeds from history but how could we have ever prepared for the danger he possesses if no one knew of him. My father doesn’t even remember that Farbauti is his sister.”

“Odin was still young, probably about your age, when Farbauti was sent away. They were very close and it crushed him when she was forced to leave. Odin and Farbauti acted as though they were twins instead of Farbauti and Cul. I believe your father lost a part of himself when he and Farbauti were separated, therefore it was decided to remove her from Odin’s memory completely.”

Thor thought that was beyond extreme. He couldn’t imagine if someone had suggested he remove all memory he had of Loki. How could a parent force one child to forget another? _How could any parent try to kill their child?_

“Your grandparents did what they thought was best for everyone,” Gorbon continued, breaking into Thor’s thoughts. “Were they correct in those actions? Probably not but what’s done is done.”

“You said Cul was sentenced for execution. Was that sentence carried out?”

“Yes, but although his body was dead, his spirit somehow refrained from crossing over into the afterlife.”

“How is that possible?”

“Back during the first Æsir-Vanir war there was an ambassador from Asgard, named Mimir, who was sent to Vanaheim as a sort of hostage exchange while a Vanir man was sent to Asgard during that time. Throughout the negotiations, Hœnir was oft seeking Mimir’s advice. The Vanir people were not happy about that and thought Mimir was deceiving them. They beheaded him and sent his head back to Asgard. It’s said the head survived through arcane magic and began to prophesize. If the tales are to be believed, Cul found Mimir’s head, listened to the prophesies and Mimir taught Cul the same arcane magic that kept him alive.”

“Can that magic be countered?”

“Such knowledge is beyond me,” Gorbon admitted, “but I don’t see why not.”

It was one small spark of hope in all of this. Thor decided to change the subject for now. “How are my friends doing?”

The full-bodied sigh Gorbon let out was one Thor had seen Lady Eir give on many occasions. “Well I’m fairly certain your blonde friend is going to find himself missing a piece of his anatomy if he does not stop trying to woo Vesta. The large one has been entertaining the children. The other two I’m not entirely sure what to do with.”

“Other two?”

“Two warriors from Asgard tried to attack Bestla, Farbauti and Helblindi. The villagers were able to subdue them before they could make it to the house. It’s surprising they thought they could make it through the village unnoticed. You Æsir stick out like sore thumbs.”

“Sif and Hogun have been acting strange for a while. I don’t understand why they would do this. They wouldn’t just attack your people unprovoked. They’re not…” Thor trailed off. Not too long ago he _did_ attack Jötunheim all because he’d been embarrassed at what was meant to be his coronation. He’d left Loki shouldering a burden he wasn’t ready for, with people who would sooner betray him than help him.

“I’ll leave you to rest,” Garbon said, standing. “You will be no good to anyone if you don’t allow yourself to heal. You rush it and you’ll end up dead.”

When he was finally alone, Thor’s mind began to wander. He couldn’t help but feel useless. He wished he’d been able to help Loki before any of this had happened. Thor regretted his actions, wishing now he had never rushed to Jötunheim in his anger. It was his fault Loki was suffering so.

“Please don’t give up Loki,” he prayed. “You are so much stronger than anyone gives you credit for. Don’t let Cul turn you into something you’re not.”

* * *

There were no two ways about it. Loki was _bored._ He still didn’t know where he was and he was still frightened but with Fenris there his fear wasn’t as overwhelming as it had been before. He hoped that when the pretty lady came back she would have news on mama, papa and Thor. He was confident they were looking for him, he just wished he had some other way of helping them find him besides making sure his light remained bright.

Loki sat up straighter when he heard the rusty door open again. Excitement coursed through him only to fade when he realized the tread of whoever the person was, was much harder than the lady’s had been. Fenris stood and placed herself between Loki and the cell door. She began to growl and Loki glanced down at his light. He’d promised the lady that he wouldn’t let his light go out but Loki just knew that whoever it was that had entered should not see it. Quickly, Loki hid it away and ducked into the darkened corner of the cell.

A large man came into view. The aura the man gave off was nothing short of menacing. His silver armor glowed in the faint light of the hallway, his long black hair and beard appeared greasy and hung limp around his head. None of that, nor the rather large axe at his back was what caused Loki to rear back in fright. It was the man’s eyes, his glowing _red_ eyes. Loki covered his mouth in a vain attempt to suppress his whimper of fright.

“I know you’re in there boy,” the man growled.

Loki flinched; he recognized the man’s voice.

Fenris started barking but that didn’t seem to frighten the man at all. The man made a gesture and suddenly, the entire cell lit up. For the first time, Loki could see everything; the blood covered stone walls, skeletons hanging from the ceiling and Loki reared back when his eyes fell upon the body he hadn’t realized was in the cell with him.

The body lay slumped against the far wall and his green and gold leathers were torn in several places. Cobalt blood matted his dark curly hair against his head in stark contrast to the man’s blue-gray skin and his dulled red eyes stared out at nothing. Silvery lines ran across the man’s head, disappearing underneath the torn leathers. Loki recognized the Jötunn figure from books but what frightened Loki the most was that the figure felt familiar to him. He _knew_ that Jötunn.

The man in the hallway chuckled darkly. “I do always find it so entertaining when one sees their own dead body. Do you not like the sight little beast? I do.”

Loki’s gaze broke away from the Jötunn and shot back to the other man. His body, the figure lying on the other side of the cell was his body? That made no sense, Loki wasn’t Jötunn! A sudden coldness overwhelmed him and when Loki looked down at his hands, he screamed. His hands had turned Jötunn blue!

“You should just give in little beast,” the man continued. “Once you perish, your body will be mine. Do not struggle against me.”

“Who are you?” Loki cried. “Where am I? Let me go!”

“I am Cul, little beast. This,” Cul gestured to their surroundings, “is your tomb.”

Fenris rushed the bars. To both Loki and the other man’s surprise, she phased through them and began to attack the man. Her teeth dug into Cul’s armor, the sound of metal rending echoing throughout the cell. Cul was eventually able to free himself from Fenris’s bite but could do nothing to prevent the wolf from returning to the cell to place herself protectively in front of Loki.

Part of Cul’s armor was missing and blood ran from the bite in his arm. “Do not fight me beast. You are a monster, remember?” Cul gestured to the body, “Recall the evil you have done, the people you have hurt?” Cul grinned and Loki shrank back further. “The brother you murdered.”

The cell disappeared from Loki’s vision, replaced with another room. He was lying beside Thor, his brother holding onto him tightly. Loki was upset and Thor was trying to comfort him. Why was Loki upset? Because… because his birth mother had tried to kill him. She’d said he was a monster and was destined to destroy the universe. There was more, Loki recalled his blue skin. He _was_ Jötunn, he was a monster and he’d… he’d…

Blood dribbled down Thor’s chin. _“L…Loki…?”_

Loki recognized the dagger that now protruded from Thor’s chest. He could feel himself pushing the dagger further into his brother’s heart.

The cell returned. “No!” Loki screamed. “That wasn’t me! _That wasn’t me!_ ”

“Oh, it was little beast and you enjoyed it remember? The blonde brute finally getting what he deserves for every slight he has made against you. It’s a shame you couldn’t drag out his suffering further.” Cul shrugged, “His death was too quick to be enjoyed but you can savor all the others. Odin… yes, Odin’s death will have to be slow. He told so many lies and kept too much hidden from you. He draped you in Ǽsir clothing and laughed as he watched you dance. He took pleasure in watching you try to drag yourself from the shadows. His death will be among the sweetest to witness.”

Something warm and wet landed on Loki. Droplets of blood rained down upon him until he was soaking with it. Fenris began barking again and used her body to shield Loki from the onslaught. It was of no use, as the cell seemed to become flooded with the substance. Loki’s scream cut off as he disappeared beneath the fluid. As he struggled to pull himself above the surface, he could still hear Cul’s laughter echoing in his mind. That laughter and Fenris’s barking was the last thing he heard before the darkness enveloped him completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The pillow to the chest and coughing thing I remember my dad having to do after his open heart surgery.


	14. Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki executes a jail break and Thor confronts his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if I've made it very clear though it's kind of hard to do so in the story without outright stating it but Loki is currently trapped within his own mind. As a means of protecting itself, his mind has regressed back to that of a small child, somewhere between 6 and 8 years old (if he were mortal) and that's also how he sees himself at the moment.

**_Fourteen_ **

Loki awoke with a start and scrambled back from the slickness he felt against his cheek. His eyes darted around the now darkened cell and he called forth his light so he could see better. Fenris whimpered, drawing Loki’s attention to the wolf. She had her head cocked to the side as she watched him. Loki felt as though she seemed worried about him.

Loki looked down at himself. There was no blood on him and his skin was back to its normal color. Casting his gaze around, he was relieved to find that there was no blood anywhere in the cell and the body from earlier was gone. Loki sank back against the wall but jumped a little when Fenris nosed at his cheek once more. So that’s where the slick feeling had come from, her wet nose.

Loki wrapped his arms around the wolf, seeking comfort. He clenched his jaw when he felt his lips beginning to tremble, not wanting to cry any longer. He felt as though that was all he had been doing lately, crying but… he’d been so frightened, fearing he would drown in the blood.

Fenris rested her head against his shoulder, allowing Loki to cling to her fur. Once he had calmed down a bit, he pulled back and wiped at his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he told the wolf. Fenris licked his face in response, causing Loki to giggle. “Thank you,” he said when his laugher subsided. He stood, one hand absently petting Fenris’s head and occasionally scratching behind her ears. Her tail wagged happily.

Cradling his light against his chest, Loki slowly made his way to the cell’s bars. Taking the hand he’d been petting Fenris with, he carefully extended it towards the bars. He pressed one finger against one of the bars and just as quickly pulled it back when it burned him again. Scowling, Loki put the injured finger in his mouth. There had to be some way that he could touch them. He felt that, once he could touch the bars safely he would be able to escape his prison.

Loki sat beside the bars glaring out into the hallway. He couldn’t continue to stay here and he didn’t want to risk having that evil man come back. Loki had to escape, but how?

Fenris laid down beside him, her head now resting on one of his crossed legs. Loki moved his gaze away from the bars and to the wolf. She had been able to pass through the bars and the pretty lady had been able to stick her hands between them. Maybe… Maybe Loki could escape without touching the bars at all. If he could pass a hand _between_ them then maybe he could turn himself into a snake or some other small animal and pass through them as well.

Loki turned back to the bars and carefully moved a hand towards them again though instead of trying to touch them he made to pass his hand between them. Before he could do so, Fenris grabbed his tunic and pulled him away from the bars. “Hey,” Loki exclaimed, “what are you doing?”

When Fenris had decided he’d been pulled a sufficient distance away she let go of his tunic then planted herself between Loki and the bars. She gave out little not quite barks, clearly stating in no uncertain terms that Loki was to stay away from the bars.

“I have to escape,” Loki told the wolf. Softer, he said, “I want to go home. I miss my family.” He turned his most pleading eyes upon Fenris. “I have to try and… when the bad man said I hurt Thor, I could… I could see it. I need to know Thor’s okay.” Fenris let out a low whine. “He’s my brother.”

For a wolf, Fenris’s face was quite expressive. The frustration she felt was clear, so Loki turned his lips down into a pout and made himself as pathetic looking as he could. It always seemed to work on his brother and his mama… well, sometimes on his mama. Fenris groaned and reluctantly moved aside. Loki scratched behind her ears. “Thank you.”

Loki once again stepped over to the bars and tentatively stretched out his hand. He was ready to pull it back should he be burned as though he was touching the bars instead of trying to place his hand between them. Loki bit his lip, willing his hand to stop shaking. He pulled his hand back and clenched his fists at his sides. Loki stomped his food, “Stop it,” he told himself. He took another few deep breaths to calm himself. When he felt his shaking had lessened enough, he reached out for the bars again.

Bracing himself for pain, Loki let out a cry of joy when his hand passed in between the bars with no ill effects. He pulled his hand back and bounced excitedly towards Fenris. “It didn’t hurt me,” he said, hugging the wolf. “Let’s get out of here.”

Fenris made her way to the other side of the bars. Now that he wasn’t being terrified beyond measure, Loki realized Fenris hasn’t phased through the bars, she had shrunken and grown almost instantaneously to allow herself to pass through the bars. Loki had to decide which small animal to turn himself into so that he could make his escape. Fenris sat on her haunches and waited for Loki to make his move.

Loki thought about turning himself into a snake but with the way he would have to move in that shape, he feared he might end up touching the bars. Instead, Loki turned himself into a small mouse and quickly scurried through the bars. Once he was safely on the other side, Loki returned to his normal shape.

Loki glanced up and down the hallway. He was surprised to find that his cell was the only one in the area. Where more cells should have been was nothing but stone walls. Behind him was a dead end and before him was a heavy metal door. Loki hoped he wouldn’t be burned by the door like he was by the bars. If the door burned, then his escape was finished before it could really begin.

The two of them made their way toward the large iron door. There was quite a bit of rust on the hinges and Loki doubted he would be able to open the door without it making any sound, even with seiðr to muffle any noise. They would just have to hope the bad man, Cul he’d said his name was, wasn’t anywhere nearby. Loki had no doubt Cul would cause Loki severe pain should he be caught escaping.

There was a small window within the door but Loki was too short to see through it. He doubted he would have been able to see much of anything, given how tiny the window was.

“I think we’re just going to have to run for it,” he whispered to Fenris.

Stepping over to the door, Loki reached up for the knob and was pleased to find that he could safely touch the door. It took a fair amount of strength to twist the knob and pull the door open. It was a little brighter on the other side and Loki tentatively stuck his head out to look around. The door led out into a different hallway but Loki was able to see light shining in from another door. The scent of fresh air hit him and Loki felt excitement course through him. He waved to Fenris, “Come on.”

He stepped into the corridor and was nearly knocked over when something nudged at his back. Afraid they’d been caught, Loki spun around to find that Fenris had _grown_ to stand almost taller than he was. Loki’s jaw dropped in amazement. “Are you a shapeshifter too?”

Fenris shook her head before dropping to the ground and making another motion with her head. Loki didn’t quite understand.

“This isn’t time for a nap,” Loki said.

Fenris rolled her eyes, something Loki didn’t know the wolf was capable of doing. She gestured again and Loki frowned.

“Do you want me to get on your back?” Loki asked. Fenris nodded. Loki shrugged and did so, making sure to keep his light close to him. She rose once he’d settled. Loki’s gripped her fur. “Is this too—” Loki yelped and clung tighter when she took off.

They burst down the hallway, Fenris seemingly knowing where she was going. Loki had no idea and he was honestly a little frightened by that. He found he did trust the wolf and he leaned forward a bit to keep himself from falling from her back.

Fenris did not slow until they exited whatever building they had been in. Sunlight blinded Loki momentarily but he found he didn’t care. He’d never been so happy to see the sun in his life. The fresh air was a Norns send compared to the stale scent of the cell.

“Where are we going?” Loki asked once she had slowed to a trot.

Fenris didn’t respond with words, she couldn’t, but she did make a gesture with her head, indicating the vast field ahead of them. Loki twisted back around so he could see the building they had escaped from. He gasped in surprise. “Wait,” he said, tugging on her fur, “that’s… that’s my home.”

Loki couldn’t believe where he had been trapped, deep within the bowels of the palace. That… that couldn’t be right. Loki cast his gaze about once again. The palace didn’t sit in an area like this. Maybe at one time the land had been nothing but a vast field but that would have been _long_ ago. Long before Loki had been born.

Casting his gaze back to the structure, Loki put his shock aside and really looked at the palace. While the design of the structure was the same, he realized he wasn’t really looking at the place he called home. This palace was not made of gold, instead it appeared to have been constructed of onyx and ice. A shiver raced up Loki’s spine.

“You’re right,” he said to Fenris, “we should leave as fast as possible.” Taking that as her que, Fenris started off again. Loki held tight, even leaning forward some to lessen the risk of falling off. “I hope the pretty lady won’t be mad. Do you think she’ll be able to find us?”

Fenris yipped and Loki took that to be an affirmative. While he did hope the lady would find them, he was afraid it would mean Cul could track them down too. Loki just needed to get home. He knew that once they managed to do that, he’d have nothing to fear. He would see that Thor was fine and that what Cul had shown him had been nothing more than a lie. _Nothing_ could hurt his big brother, especially with mama and papa around.

The pretty lady had said mama and papa were looking for Loki and that he needed to keep his light bright so that they could find him. Loki’s light hovered beside him, keeping pace with Fenris’s speed. Loki willed it brighter.

_I’m here mama, papa… I’m here, please, please find me._

* * *

“Gorbon says you’re being a terrible patient.”

Thor cocked an eyebrow at Helblindi, who had decided to practically glue himself to Thor’s side once he had been told that Thor had awoken. The boy felt terrible for what had happened with Farbauti. He’d apologized profusely and blamed himself for what had happened to them all, especially Loki.

“He can compare notes with Lady Eir,” Thor replied. “Once this is all over, I’m going to suggest reopening relations between our Realms.”

“You are?” Helblindi asked in surprise. “Even after what I did?”

Thor sighed. The action hurt his chest, which was beginning to annoy him more than anything. He gripped the pillow Gorbon had given him against his chest to help relieve the pain. “That wasn’t your fault Helblindi.”

“But I brought Loki to mother and she…” Helblindi frowned and Thor could see the boy struggling with his emotions. “She tried to hurt him. I never wanted to believe what I was told, that she and father had both left Loki to die. Mama loves us… it made no sense.”

“I do not understand it either,” Thor admitted, “but you should know that Loki is loved. Our father rescued Loki and without a thought, brought him into our family. Loki has been by my side for as long as I can remember and I can’t imagine my life without him.”

“I just wanted my family to be whole.”

“I imagine everyone wants that for their family but it can’t always be that way. Loki… Loki wasn’t meant for Jötunheim but that doesn’t mean that, some day, you two cannot be brothers as well.”

Helblindi looked up, tentative hope reflecting in his eyes. “Do you really believe that?”

Thor shrugged, then winced. That had been a bad idea. “I don’t see why not. Perhaps you can come to Asgard sometime. I’m sure mother and father would want to meet you.”

“Truly?”

“Yes. Besides, we are family,” Thor grinned at Helblindi, “and I think it’ll be fun to watch Loki suffer being the elder brother for a change.” Thor put the pillow aside and motioned to Helblindi. “Help me up.”

“I don’t think Gorbon wants you out of bed yet.”

“Maybe not, but this bed is very hard and my butt is numb.” He gestured again. “I’m getting out of this bed with or without your help but it will be easier with it.”

Reluctantly, Helblindi did as asked. He steadied Thor once he was standing. “Are you supposed to turn that white?”

“I’ll be fine,” Thor replied. “I was told the ones who attacked you are still here. I want to see them.”

“Yes, Gorbon and several of the village soldiers are keeping an eye on them. They haven’t spoken a word since their capture from what I’ve heard.”

“Maybe they’ll speak to me.”

Helblindi led Thor to another room where Sif and Hogun were being held. Thor didn’t know why he was surprised to find them there but he was even more amazed at the amount of _hurt_ he felt at their actions. They had attacked their friends and had tried to attack his family and, wow, when had Thor started to think of Helblindi and Bestla as family. He knew now they were blood but blood did not always constitute family. Thor doubted he would ever consider Farbauti to be a part of his or Loki’s family.

Sif and Hogun were each shackled to a bed and neither of them appeared pleased by that. Thor stepped closer to them but found nothing that resembled the friends he knew in their eyes. There was an anger, a darkness, in them he had never seen before.

“Why did you come here?” Thor asked. “Why did you attack Fandral and Volstagg?” He didn’t ask why they had attacked the Jötnar, he knew their reasoning. They needed no other reason beyond that the Jötnar were Jötunn.

Norns, had he truly been the same way only a short time ago? Thor was sickened by the thought. He realized now just how wrong in his opinion he had been. The Jötunn weren’t monsters as he’d been taught to believe growing up. Thor thought about the offer he’d extended to Helblindi about visiting Asgard. Thor would have to work hard if he was going to try brining the Realms back together. Both sides would have to learn to let go of old prejudices.

Sif struggled against her restraints, her eyes set firmly on Helblindi. “They were consorting with the monsters,” she growled. “They deserve death for betraying Asgard.”

“They are your friends.”

“No friend of ours would befriend the Jötnar,” Hogun said.

Sif’s expression was nothing but rage, though her gaze softened somewhat when it fell on him. “Free us Thor and together we can slay the beasts.” She made a gesture with her head, “That one should be easy to dispatch.”

Thor’s eyebrows shot up. “What is _wrong_ with you?” he cried.

“There is nothing wrong with us,” Hogun replied. His own gaze turned scrutinizing. “What is this newfound sympathy for the beasts?”

“I’ve changed,” Thor said. “I’ve learned that things were not as we were taught to believe. The Jötunn as a whole are not monsters. They’re just like us!”

Sif scoffed. “Hardly. Think about it Thor, Loki is Jötunn and it explains _everything._ Loki was always prone to cruel tricks. He’s underhanded and there is no honor in his fighting, if you can even call what he does fighting. He delights in the pain of others. In his lust for power he stole your throne and killed you. It was only by the blessing of the Norns that you were revived.”

“He is a traitor to Asgard,” Hogun added. “He will try to take Asgard once more, dispatching of the King and Queen to do so and he will not stop there. Loki will be satisfied with nothing less than the entirety of the Nine bowing to him. Those who resist, he will kill and take pleasure in each agonizing death.”

That wasn’t Loki at all! Loki abhorred violence for the sake of violence. Loki had the biggest heart and was the kindest person of anyone Thor knew. Yes, Loki hid much of that side of himself but Thor thought he now understood why that was. It was to protect himself from the bullying he’d suffered from becoming worse.

“Loki has enchanted you somehow,” Sif said, “that is the only way to explain why you have not freed us so that we may slay the monsters.”

“They’re not monsters!” Thor bellowed. Thor grimaced, pressing a hand against his chest. Thor locked eyes with Sif. “Helblindi,” he gestured to the boy, “is my cousin, he’s my _blood._ My grandmother is Jötunn which means I carry Jötnar blood and I don’t feel any different. It doesn’t change who I am just as the revelation that Loki was born Jötun doesn’t change who he is.

Sif’s mention of an enchantment gave Thor pause. His friends had been acting strangely for some time now. He wondered… Stepping closer to the bed, Thor took Sif’s chin in his hand and turned her head to the side. There, just below her left ear, was the same mark he had seen on Loki, though less detailed as Loki’s mark had been.

He checked Hogun to find the same marking. “I’m not under an enchantment,” Thor said, stepping away from the beds. “You are and it’s not Loki’s doing. I _will_ save my brother and…” he swallowed hard, “I won’t let your jealousy and _hatred_ of Loki stop me. I’m not… I _refuse_ to give up on Loki. I don’t care what I have to do to save him.

“Whatever Cul has done to ensnare you, I will do everything I can to free you from his thrall however, if it comes down to the choice between you and Loki… I will choose Loki, _every_ time.”

* * *

Loki had no idea how long they had been traveling but it seemed like it had been a considerable amount of time. The false palace had disappeared in the distance a while ago and yet the sun did not appear to be traversing the sky. Loki tipped his head up and squinted at it. He sighed and lowered his head. “I’m tired,” he said to Fenris. As though to emphasize his point, he yawned.

Fenris gave a low hum and Loki leaned forward until he was laying across her back. He wrapped his arms around her neck. Loki only remained in that position for a few minutes. It was actually very uncomfortable to lay like that.

Loki sat back up and rubbed at his eyes. “Can we stop for a little while?” he asked.

In reply to his question, Fenris took them into the forested area they had been heading towards. Loki’s eyes were becoming heavier and he feared he would fall asleep on her back. He risked falling off if he did.”

Loki jerked when Fenris barked. It wasn’t an angry bark like it had been when Cul had come to the cell. This bark was excited. Loki smiled when his eyes fell upon the pretty lady. They’d found Fenris’s master!

Her hair still covered half of her face but Loki could still make out her look of surprise when she spotted them.

When Fenris stopped, Loki hopped from her back and ran over to the pretty lady. He wrapped his arms around her waist in a hug, his face pressed against her stomach. “We found you.”

“Yes I… I can see that,” the pretty lady replied. “How did you escape that cell?”

Loki, finally realizing that he was still hugging her, pulled back sharply. He could feel heat flooding his cheeks and he looked to the ground in embarrassment. He twisted his hands together. “I knew I couldn’t touch the bars but then I remembered you were able to put your hands through them so I tried that. When that didn’t hurt me I turned myself into a mouse and went through.”

She laughed, “That was very clever Loki.” She tousled his hair. “You should have waited until I came back though.”

Loki shook his head, his mind flashing back to what Cul had done to him. “I couldn’t stay there anymore. I was afraid the evil man would come back.”

“Evil man?” Her hands clenched. “Cul,” she growled.

Loki flinched at the man’s name. “He came sometime after you left,” he told her. “He showed me things and…” his breath caught in his throat as his fear returned, “he said I killed Thor and that I’m a monster. He said I’m a Jötunn and that I had done bad things. Then he showed me…” His whole body shook as he recalled the body he had seen. “He said it was my dead body.”

The lady knelt and pulled Loki into a hug. “You need not be afraid. I will do everything in my power to protect you.”

Loki hugged her back. Exhaustion swept over him again as his raging emotions sapped what little energy he had left. He suddenly remembered something she had said the last time they had met. He pulled back slightly. “You called me little brother earlier, why?”

She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Because you are my little brother. Odin is my father as well. I am your older sister Hela.”

Loki’s eyebrows drew together in confusion. “Papa is your papa too? Why have you never come to see us? Why didn’t papa tell us about you?”

“Something happened to me long before you or Thor were born,” she explained, “and I had to go away. It hurts papa to talk about it but I have been able to watch you all. You and Thor are growing to be great men.”

Loki frowned down at his small hands. “I’m still just a boy.”

“Only for now,” Hela replied. She took his hand. “Come, let’s find some place where you can rest. You will need your strength for what is coming.”

Loki followed her and Fenris padded softly behind them. Dread settled in his chest at her last statement. Loki didn’t want anything to come, he just wanted to go home. They stopped when Hela deemed their local sufficient as a place to rest. Loki lay on the ground and Hela sat beside him, running her fingers through his hair in a soothing manner. Fenris lay on his other side, prodding him until he moved enough so that she could place herself far enough between him and the ground that she ended up being his pillow.

Loki’s exhaustion swept him away, leading him to dreams of home. If Loki hadn’t known better, he could have sworn he heard his mother’s voice calling out to welcome him back where he belonged.


	15. Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Odin and Cul talk, Loki learns something about Hela and Thor decides it's time to return to Asgard.

**_Fifteen_ **

Odin paced his cell. Unlike common prisoners, he had been given a cell of his own. It had come as a surprise but then again, it made sense. Cul wanted him to suffer and placing Odin in with the rest of the prisoners risked cutting Cul’s satisfaction short. Norns forbid Cul be robbed of his pleasure.

Odin had taken to pacing his cell, more to burn off energy than anything else. He felt helpless and it was a feeling he loathed. He was witnessing history repeat itself and, just like last time, he was unsure if he would be able to do what he needed to. He was worried for his sons. Cul may claim the boys were dead but Odin knew better. Thor was stronger than Cul realized and so was Loki. Odin knew for a fact his youngest would not have simply given in. Something else must have happened to allow Cul control of Loki’s body. He refused to believe Loki’s spirit was gone.

Odin worried for Frigga as well. He had not seen nor heard any news of her since they had been separated in the council chambers. How long ago had that been? Odin was receiving meals, couldn’t have him die of starvation after all, but there was no consistency with them. It made tracking the passage of time rather difficult.

He feared for Asgard and the rest of the Nine too. Cul would not be satisfied with just Asgard under his rule, he wanted it _all._ That had been the reason behind the conquests of old. Odin had been far too blind back then to see just how his older brother had twisted things to his advantage. It hadn’t been until it was too late to save Hela that Odin began to actually see.

It was as he was making his way across the cell for the umpteenth time that he spotted a figure watching him. If it weren’t for the glowing red eyes and malice in the expression, Odin would have believed Loki had returned home.

Cul smiled, twisting Loki’s features into an expression his son would never wear. “Enjoying the accommodations?” Cul asked.

Odin stopped to face his brother. He crossed his arms over his chest, “And if I said I did?”

Cul frowned, “Well that would take all of the fun out of it, wouldn’t it?”

“Can’t have that, can we?” Cul scowled at Odin, who rolled his eye. “What do you want Cul?”

“You know _exactly_ what I want.”

Odin waved a hand, affecting an air of nonchalance. “Take for yourself that what is rightfully yours. Yes, you’ve mentioned that many times. You have always been angry you were passed over for the throne. Did you ever stop to think there might be a _reason_ father never named you heir?”

“There was no reason for him to pass me over. I was the first born male!”

“The line of succession falls to the first born, regardless of gender,” Odin replied evenly. His calm demeanor was only causing Cul’s anger to flare. Odin hoped that if Cul lost control of his emotions, Odin might be able to call out to Loki. “Even if you had been born first father would still have passed you over for the throne. You do not have what it takes to rule. You are nothing more than a would-be king.”

“I am a king!” Cul bellowed. “It was father, the twins, _you_ , who took everything from me.”

Odin scoffed. “Please, we never took a damn thing from you and you know it. What happened to you was due to your own poor choices. Besides, what of mother? She cared deeply for you and you attempted to kill her as well.”

“Mother,” Cul spat, “that bitch only cared about her precious daughter. She favored Farbauti more than anyone else since Farbauti was the embodiment of Jötunheim.” Cul laughed again. “It was so much fun to twist Farbauti into believing Jötunheim’s old ways. Everything mother had preached to her about embracing life and how even the runts were precious. When Farbauti gave birth to one,” he shook his head, “even I could not have planned that out more perfectly.”

Cul began to pace the front of the cell. “I have to say, things didn’t necessarily turn out the way I had expected. I’d planned on her and Laufey killing the infant but that still left me with the problem of Farbauti being alive. Her life meant my claim to the throne was still one-step further away than I wanted. Then she gave birth to the other two brats, who were born normal sized Jötunn and I knew I had to modify my plan. I began to whisper to Laufey, little things to make him suspect she planned to use her spawn to usurp him.

“With Farbauti, I made her think Laufey was abusive to the boys. It was simple to convince the brats their father was hurting them. Children are so easily manipulated.

“When she told Laufey she wanted a divorce, ah, there was my opening. She’d already dishonored him by birthing a runt and now she was going to take his crown away from him.” Cul paused and wagged a finger, “He couldn’t abide that so I convinced him to poison her. I’d _hoped_ it would do the trick but it turns out the poor bastard actually _loved_ Farbauti and he had enough of his own mind to keep from fully going through with it. Worked out in my favor though, the poison destroyed Farbauti’s mind in the end.

“I knew you’d saved Loki from death and while his life was one more obstacle I had to overcome for my throne, I realized I could use him to my advantage. Since you destroyed my body I would need another one.” Cul returned to his pacing, “The biggest challenge I needed to overcome was finding a body that could hold my spirit without burning out. Gaining access to a body was easy, most times. All I needed was a spark of fear and hatred and I could easily whisper to whomever I wanted. I would stoke their insecurities; make them greater and greater until they simply gave up. Once they did that, their body was mine.”

“What about Vörnir?” Odin asked, genuinely curious. “How did he fit into this?”

Cul shrugged, “Vörnir was a pawn, easily discarded. He was one of the few who let me in of his own volition. I promised him greatness, that Jötunheim could crawl out from the darkness and take back what was theirs. That was a rather easily manipulation, not very fun actually.”

“And Karsten?”

“Another pawn, one I began to make use of centuries ago but, again, easily discarded. Once she helped Mimir alter the history books and the people’s perception of history she was, honestly, no longer needed. Now Mimir… Mimir has been my greatest ally in this.” Cul’s expression turned contemplative, “Mimir has a bit of a grudge against grandfather.”

“Buri? What does Buri have to do with any of this?”

“You recall the first Ǽsir-Vanir War? Well, Mimir had been sent to Vanaheim as Asgard’s ambassador and, well let’s face it, political hostage. He and the Vanir ambassador were to be exchanged once peace negotiations had been completed but they never got that far. Mimir was beheaded for ‘influencing’ the Vanir leader and his head sent back to Asgard as a message. Buri enchanted Mimir’s head to learn what had actually happened. Buri had promised to return Mimir to his death once that was complete but once Mimir began to prophesize, Buri broke his promise. Mimir’s head served at Buri’s whim until I found it.

“We made a deal, Mimir and I. He wanted revenge on Buri and his house and I wanted a throne. He taught me the same magic that preserved his life and I released his essence from his head.”

“Are you saying that Imir— _Mimir_ is as you are? A foreign spirit residing in a body not his own?”

“Yes, has been for a while. He no longer risks burning out the body he’s wearing though. It was a very interesting trial and error process in the beginning. Many thought Asgard had a murderer on the loose when burned out corpses began turning up.”

Odin vaguely remembered that. It coincided with the vague memories of Farbauti that were beginning to resurface. Had it been Cul who had removed her from Odin’s memory or had it been their parents? Odin wasn’t entirely sure how many of his early memories were true and which had been altered.

Odin mentality shook himself, now wasn’t the time for such thoughts. “You are of Buri’s line, why would Mimir ally with you if he wanted revenge on our family?”

“The enemy of my enemy I suppose,” Cul replied. “I was never really a part of this family, always the outcast after all.”

“You were always prone to dramatics,” Odin scoffed, purposefully turning away from Cul. “You were never an outcast, you simply hated whenever anyone else was given attention.”

“Don’t you turn your back on me!”

“Why not? This,” Odin gestured around them, “all of this is because you were not the center of mother and father’s attention. This takes sibling rivalry to a whole new level brother.”

“Shut up!” Cul roared. “You have no idea what you are talking about. I don’t need attention.”

“You’re right,” Odin agreed. He turned back to face Cul, “You need to be worshiped.”

“And what of you _Allfather_ ,” Cul sneered. “You manipulated an entire Realm to worship you as a God among gods.”

“How Midgard came to view us was not our intention. The humans were a young race who couldn’t understand Asgard’s advanced technology and magic. We are nothing more than myth to them now. They have grown and I can assure you that were you to visit Midgard now and claim to be a god, they would laugh at you.”

Cul’s whole body was tense in his anger. “My armies are readying themselves for battle. We will take Midgard and if they do not capitulate, I will raze their entire Realm until there is nothing left.”

While Odin knew the strategic advantage of controlling Midgard, it being located in the center of Yggdrasil after all, he did not see the mortals giving in so easily. It did not change the fact that whoever controlled Midgard controlled the Nine. “So that’s your plan then? Destroy everything until even Yggdrasil itself burns? Svartalfheim is already a barren wasteland. Jötunheim is a dying Realm,” which Odin would admit was partially his fault, “and the rest are protectorates of Asgard. There’s no need to ‘conquer’ them.”

“Who said anything about ‘need’?”

Odin stepped closer to Cul, the energy barrier of the cell the only thing that separated them. “It’s always been about need. You _need_ to be worshiped, you _need_ to be first, you _need_ to be feared. You care about nothing but yourself Cul and even if you should win, should you finally be worshiped the way you wish it will never change the fact that you will always be _alone._ ”

Cul lashed out, seeming to forget about the energy barrier. The ensuing shock sent Cul stumbling back with a cry. For a moment, his expression turned confused and _green_ eyes darted around the cellblock. “Loki,” Odin called.

“Papa?” Loki asked, his voice frightened and confused. “You found me?” His expression turned to panic as his gaze took in the area. “No, no, we escaped. We got away!”

“You need to fight him Loki,” Odin said, trying to catch his son’s gaze. “Cast him out!”

“Fenny!” Loki cried, “Where are you? Hela!”

Odin flinched at his daughter’s name and that of her mount. How did Loki know it?

Loki’s eyes finally landed on Odin. “Papa, help me.” Tears ran down his cheeks, “Please.”

“You have to fight him,” Odin repeated. “Loki, listen to me. You have to fight Cul; you have to cast him out!”

Loki shook his head, breathing hard. “I— He’s… He’s…” He screamed.

Abruptly, Loki’s scream cut off. When he stood, his eyes were red once again.

“Damn,” Cul said, wiping at his cheeks in disgust. “That boy’s a wily one.” He shrugged, affecting an air of nonchalance Odin knew he didn’t actually feel. “So the boy’s still alive in here. It won’t be for much longer though. His fear feeds me and I shall delight in snuffing out the last of his essence. Once his spirit is finally gone, this body will truly be mine and unlike the others, this one won’t burn out.” His smile was cruel, “Enjoy your stay brother and bask in the knowledge that what was once yours is now mine.”

* * *

Loki awoke with a start, arms and legs flailing and his breath catching in his throat. His eyes darted around frantically and it took him a moment to realize he had not been returned to the cell. He shrieked when hands grabbed his arms.

“Calm yourself Loki,” Hela said, “you’re safe.”

“Hela?” Loki asked. At her nod, Loki gripped her tightly. “I thought the bad man had found me and put me back in the cell.”

Fenris wined, her nose poking at Loki’s side until he moved his arm enough for her to nuzzle comfortably against him. He pet her head while still in Hela’s embrace.

“You were dreaming,” Hela reassured.

Loki frowned; it hadn’t felt like a dream. “Papa was there,” he said after a moment. “I saw papa trapped in the cell. He said… He said I needed to cast Cul out.” He looked up at her imploringly. “What does that mean?”

Hela sighed, one hand rubbing his back soothingly. She reached up to push his hair from his face; it was longer than he remembered. “Do you know where you are Loki?” she asked.

Loki shook his head, “No.”

Hela sighed again and remained silent. Loki lay his head against her and felt his eyes beginning to droop the more she rubbed at his head. She eventually broke the silence, “How is your light?”

Loki glanced over to the orb he had created. How long had it been since he’d brought forth his light? They’d been traveling for what had seemed like days but with no movement of the sun, it was impossible to tell for sure. Loki frowned slightly when he realized that from the moment he had awoken in the cell until now, he had not felt hunger or thirst. He should have required food and water long ago.

He tipped his head up and another thought occurred to him. “Why are you always hiding part of your face?”

Hela looked down at him and yet, she moved in such a way that he had no glimpse of her through her hair. “I do not wish to frighten you.”

“Does it have to do with why you had to go away?”

“A little.”

“Oh.” They continued to stare at each other. “Did he hurt you?” Loki had no doubt Hela knew who he was talking about.

She nodded, “He did but he is not entirely to blame for what happened to me. To lay the blame for my fate completely upon Cul would be a lie. I made poor decisions and I paid the price for it.”

“How do you mean?”

“You know how…” She stopped and pressed her lips together. Loki could feel her drum her fingers along his back. “There is no easy way to explain this I’m afraid.” Hela carefully pulled her hair back. The portion of her face she revealed caused Loki to rear back, it was decaying, as though she were half-dead. “I hold dominion over the dead,” she explained, letting her hair drop to cover the side of her face again. “I was my duty to see that the souls of the dead went to their proper resting place.”

“A Goddess of Death?” Loki asked, beginning to panic. “I’m dead?”

“No,” Hela said quickly. “You are very much alive Loki.” She motioned to his light, “I told you to make your light as bright as possible and to not let it go out, remember? As long as your light remains lit, you will live.”

Loki’s panic slowly morphed into fear at the thought. “You’re dead, aren’t you? That’s why you had to go away?”

“Yes,” Hela affirmed. “I am a spirit. I can only watch over souls now, I can no longer guide them to their resting place as I was meant to.”

“I don’t understand.” He could feel himself beginning to tremble. “I should have been hungry and thirsty by now. If I don’t need to eat or drink then how can I not be dead?”

“It’s this place,” Hela replied. “You are _not_ dead, I would know if you were. This place, Loki, is your mind. Cul has taken your body and trapped your mind within itself.”

“What?”

“Before you awoke in the cell for the first time, what is the last thing you remember?”

Loki tried to think but his mind came up blank. “I don’t know.”

“Push aside your panic and your fear; it will only give Cul strength. Take a moment and breathe,” Hela took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She did this a few more times and Loki followed along with her. Slowly, his fear began to abate. “Now, what do you remember?”

“Jötunheim,” Loki replied softly as the memory of the cold came back to him. “We were on Jötunheim. Thor found me and…” The image of the body Cul had shown him flashed through his mind.

_I do always find it so entertaining when one sees their own dead body._

Loki looked down at his hands and watched as the skin changed from porcelain to cobalt. When he looked back up at Hela, she seemed smaller now. He turned his gaze back to his hands to find they were no longer small like a boys, but large like an adult. He heard the rustling of fabric as Hela moved and Loki closed his eyes tightly, his head hanging. When he spoke, the timbre of his voice had deepened, “I’m a monster.”

“No, _Cul_ is a monster,” Hela said fiercely. “He manipulated your fears to make you vulnerable to him.”

“Oh, so I’m a _weak_ monster.”

When he glanced up, the dry look he saw in her one visible eye rivaled Odin’s. She even cocked her eyebrow the same way their father did. “You are not weak Loki. You’ve honestly held him at bay far longer than anyone else. The revelation of your birth was a blow you were not ready for. Combined with everything that happened afterwards, Thor’s banishment, your illness. It’s no wonder he was finally able to break you down.”

“I just wanted it to stop.”

“I know,” she took his hands in hers. The contrast in their color was jarring and Loki felt almost sick from it. His breath shuddered in his chest when his skin became pale once more. “No one would blame you for wanting that.”

“I’m trapped inside my own mind,” Loki said after a brief period of silence, “and Cul has control over my body.” Hela nodded. “No doubt whatever he is doing with my body will come as no surprise to Asgard. No one will notice a difference between us. I should just let you take me and be done with it.” Loki winced, letting out a cry when she squeezed his hands, digging her nails into his flesh. If he was just a spirit now too then _why_ did that hurt?

Hela’s expression was angry, “I did not come here to take you to the afterlife.” She let go of one hand to grip his chin. “I will _not_ let Cul do to you what he did to me. You will _fight_ , Loki Odinson, do you hear me?”

Loki tried to answer but she was gripping his jaw so tightly he could barely move it. He ended up nodding, or trying to at least, instead.

“Good.”

She let go and Loki worked his mouth to relieve the ache. “How exactly do I go about fighting him?” Loki asked. She stepped around him and when Loki turned as well, he was startled to find that Fenris had grown again. Loki’s jaw dropped at the wolf’s size. Fenris was easily two, no, _three_ times larger than Sleipnir.

Hela climbed onto Fenris’s back. She held out a hand to him. “It won’t be easy,” she replied as Loki climbed up behind her. “It’s not as though you can say ‘I cast you out’ and he’s gone. He’ll have found a way to root himself within you.”

Drily, Loki said, “That doesn’t sound creepy at all.”

Hela ignored his remark. “We’ll need to find that root and destroy it.”

* * *

Thor looked out across the darkened planes of Jötunheim. The wound to his chest was healing and it no longer hurt to breathe although some movements still caused pain to flare. Thor knew if he could just get his hands on some healing stones, things would move a lot quicker.

The villagers had begun to pack their necessities and evacuate. The Bifröst had activated a few times, its loud boom echoing even here, and word had spread around the Realm of the armies that were coming through. Warriors, both living and dead, were slowly making their way across Jötunheim, dispatching all within their path.

Býleistr had returned from Utgard in a hurry, relaying the message he’d received from the Priests who had returned from Asgard. While the village had originally been intended as a refuge for runts and their families, Býleistr had ignored the need for continued secrecy. It was only a short time after that that the armies had arrived upon the frozen realm.

Thor, Volstagg and Fandral along with Helblindi and Býleistr had been helping the villagers pack. They planned to move further into the mountains but Thor had no intention of following them. He needed to get back to Asgard but he knew, given what had already happened, the task would not be an easy one.

Thor turned back to help an elderly runt into the back of a wagon, where others were already seated. “Thank you, young Ǽsir,” the man said.

“You’re welcome,” Thor replied. The driver clicked his tongue and the wagon set off. Thor watched them go. They had been on Jötunheim for what had to be weeks now and it still surprised Thor at how quickly he’d gone from thinking of the Jötnar as beasts to thinking of them as people. He spotted Bestla making his way towards him. He was still angry with his grandmother for what she had said concerning Loki and he tried to be civil with her. He was doing a pretty damn good job all things considered.

“Are you going to come with us?” Bestla asked.

“No,” Thor replied. “I need to get back to Asgard. I can’t just hide while Cul tries to destroy the Nine. I’m not going to hide and leave Loki to suffer.”

“Loki is—”

“If you say lost, so help me Bestla…”

She stared at him before her whole body seemed to sag. “You know I cannot help you with Cul. Even with all he has done, he’s still my son. What I was going to say; Loki is my grandson and, you’re right, it’s not fair to sacrifice him for the sake of Cul. I know of no way to save him though Thor. Loki will have to cast Cul out himself. There is nothing you can do.”

“I have to try.”

“I know. It’s an irritating trait you share with your cousins.”

“Come again?”

“How do you plan on returning to Asgard?” Bestla asked instead.

Thor sighed. “We can’t go via Bifröst that much is clear. We used a natural path to come here from…” Was there any real point in hiding it anymore? “Midgard. The Bifröst hasn’t always been there so there had to be a way that we traveled between Realms before that. I just need to find it.”

“The natural paths would be your best method,” Bestla replied. “Midgard, being situated at the center of Yggdrasil, would have the most connections to the other Realms.”

“So back to Midgard then find another path to Asgard?” Volstagg asked as he and Fandral joined them.

“Seems like.”

“Bý and I want to go to,” Helblindi said.

“No, you want to go,” Býleistr said to his brother, “and I’m not about to let you go by yourself.”

“What makes either of you two think I’ll let you?” Bestla asked. She blew out a breath at the stubborn looks on the boy’s faces. “I swear all of your stubbornness came from Bor,” she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“I don’t know,” Thor said, “seems like an all-around family trait.” Thor smiled at her when she turned frustrated eyes on him. Loki would have been proud. He turned to his cousins. “Can you shapeshift?”

“Why?” Býleistr asked.

“If we’re to try sneaking back into Asgard, you’ll kind of stick out in your natural form.”

Helblindi shook his head, his lips drawing down in a pout. “No, we can’t.”

“Wait here,” Bestla said and left them. When she returned, she carried two small charms along with several bundles of clothing. She handed a charm to each of the boys. “Wear these and you will assume an Ǽsir appearance.”

Helblindi eagerly placed the charm around his neck. Thor watched as his skin paled and his eyes turned a bright green. Helblindi’s horns retreated and dark hair sprouted from his head. His body shrank until he stood no taller than Thor’s stomach. Helblindi’s teeth began to chatter instantly and he wrapped his arms around himself. “Wh— why am I— I’m _cold_?”

“Of course you’re cold,” Bestla replied, handing him one of the bundles of clothing. “The charm doesn’t just make you look Ǽsir, you become Ǽsir in every aspect while you wear it.”

Helblindi dressed quickly, scowling up at his grandmother. “You didn’t tell me that… Hey! I _shrank_!” he shrieked.

Býleistr laughed and even Thor couldn’t help letting out a chuckle his own. Helblindi was almost the spitting image of Loki as a child. If there had been any doubts the two were brothers by blood they were gone now. “Now you really are a munchkin,” Býleistr said to Helblindi.

“Oh yeah, see how much _you_ shrink,” Helblindi retorted.

Býleistr shrugged and placed the charm around his neck. He took on the same coloring as Helblindi, though his eyes were brown instead of green and his height was almost the same as Thor’s. Thor was still slightly taller though, which was somewhat strange when Thor thought about it.

"Oh come on," Helblindi cried, “That’s not fair!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do I feel like Helblindi is becoming like a Loki mini-me? 
> 
> Hela's half living face, half corpse face is taken from her mythological counterpart Hel.


	16. Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is relatively short but I was hit with the writers block and whenever I would sit down to work on this my mind would go blank. I just let my mind wander trying to get the words flowing again. They finally did and this took another turn I wasn't planning.

**_Sixteen_ **

Cul stormed into the kings chambers, absolutely livid. His meeting with Odin had not gone entirely as planned and his brother had somehow managed to distract Cul long enough for the boy to emerge. It had only been for a moment but it was long enough to be concerning.

“Trouble in paradise?”

Cul turned to face Mimir who was lounging on one of the couches. “I’m in no mood for your sarcasm.”

“You were gone for quite some time,” Mimir said, seemingly unconcerned with Cul’s anger. “I assume you were speaking with Odin.”

“You would assume correctly.” Cul forced himself to sit in the king’s chair, _his_ chair now. That thought still gave him pleasure. “My brother is infuriating.”

“It’s more than that.”

Cul hated that Mimir was able to read him the way he was. The two had been working together for so long that it was impossible _not_ to read each other. “The boy surfaced while we were speaking. It was only for a moment and I was able to regain control without a problem but I would rather not risk it happening again. I have him subdued but his spirit remains strong.”

“That was to be expected, given his blood and how long he’s resisted your whispers.”

“Annoying brat,” Cul complained.

Mimir shrugged. “If you destroy his spirit too quickly, his body will burn out along with it. You know what happened to my first vessels. You need to burn away his soul slowly, a few years at least.”

“A few _years_!” Cul exclaimed.

Mimir raised an eyebrow. “Why do you think I’ve managed to maintain this body for so long? It took me years to burn away his soul and convince his body that my spirit was the one meant to reside in it instead of its original owner. If you truly want to keep Loki’s body for your own, you have to take it slow.”

“Well he’s trapped in a cage for now.” He wasn’t about to admit to Mimir that Loki had slipped from the cage Cul had created in the boy’s mind. Something Cul was _not_ pleased about. Loki was still trapped within the larger cage and there he would remain. The small dungeon Cul had created had been mainly for fun. However, it may be prudent to put him back inside of it, chain him to the proverbial wall as it were.

Mimir hummed. “Well since we’re on the subject of Loki’s body, I need to speak to you about your future nuptials.”

“The divorce has been finalized?”

“No, the queen refuses to sign the document and, unlike with Odin, we cannot simply stamp her seal upon it. Then there’s the perception.”

“The perception?”

“Well, you are inhabiting the body of her son. For all intents and purposes, to Asgard’s citizens, you appear to be marrying your mother.”

“There is no blood relationship between them.” Cul shrugged, “We’ll just announce the truth of Loki’s birth.”

“The truth of Loki’s origins has already spread across Asgard. Besides, it’s already a little late for that, isn’t it? You’ve already revealed your identity to the Council along with the Jötnar priests.”

“The Curia Regis is still in the dark as are the citizens of the Nine.”

Mimir didn’t look convinced. In fact, he appeared annoyed. “I don’t see any point in either of us maintaining the charade any longer.”

“It’s fun.”

Now Mimir rolled his eyes. “Your ‘fun’ is dangerous. Yes, your armies are beginning to head out into Yggdrasil but you still need to solidify your power. You cannot do that until Odin is dead and there is proof Thor is dead as well.”

“I put a dagger through his heart. There’s no way he would have survived.”

“Is that a chance you are willing to take? There has been no word from Jötunheim as of yet about the deaths of Býleistr and Helblindi and it’s been weeks since you sent those warriors after them. Even the other Realms have yet to capitulate.”

“They will,” Cul assured the other man. He’d put his focus on Jötunheim for the time being. The two warriors he’d left behind had not yet returned with news of Bestla and Farbauti’s deaths either. As much as he hated to admit it, Mimir may have a point. Without bodies, there was no assurance their obstacles were dead. The shieldmaiden and Vanir should have reported back to him long before now.

“Fine,” Cul said, “we’ll send a message to the forces on Jötunheim to report that status of the Realm and also to search for the bodies. If any of them are still alive they will be branded as traitors to the crown and summarily executed.”

“I wouldn’t underestimate how much the people love Thor. It won’t be easy to convince them he’s a traitor.”

“I don’t actually need to convince them of anything,” Cul replied. “The people will come to see the wisdom and _benevolence_ of my rule. Any who sow discord shall be sent straight to Hel.”

Mimir stared at him silently for a few long moments. “You have no intention of leaving anything Odin built intact, do you? You plan to tear it all down.”

Cul shrugged. “I must have a good foundation with which to build my empire on. We conquered the Realms, destroyed entire civilizations who resisted us. If my brother had not become soft and stopped my Goddess of Death from performing her duty, then a sturdy foundation would have been put into place long ago. As it is, I have to rebuild that which Odin tore down.”

“You haven’t by chance been collaborating with Thanos without my knowledge, have you?”

“The Titan?” Cul scoffed, waving a hand through the air. “Please, Thanos had no _vision_. It was all, ‘find the Infinity Stones and bring balance to the universe’.” He paused, “Thanos may have been onto something with the Infinity Stones but to use the Stones would be to remove all the fun from the _conquest_. Leave the Stones where they are, we have no need of them.”

Mimir’s eyes narrowed. “You spoke of him in the past tense, why?”

Cul bit his lip. “Truth be told, I’d once thought he would be my perfect vessel. He did manage to last longer than most but in the end, his body could not handle my power. He burned out just like the rest of them. I will admit, some of his ideas had merit but,” Cul shook his head, “where is the fun in a simple snap of the fingers?”

“It is a simple demonstration of power.”

“True but again, there’s just no fun in it? To cover myself in the blood of my enemies is much more satisfying than a quick end to their lives. It’s hard to savor the taste when no blood is spilled at all.”

“Has it ever occurred to you that you may have a problem?”

“I thought we were in this together.”

“Oh, we are, don’t get me wrong. Unlike you, however, I don’t exactly enjoy being covered in blood. Much too sticky. You are free to ‘bathe in the blood of your enemies’ as it were. Besides, blood stains _terribly_ and it so hard to get out of your clothing let alone,” he inspected his fingers, “from underneath your nails.”

Unable to help himself, Cul laughed. “You have always been such a priss when it comes to getting dirty.”

“Tends to happen when your body is thrown in a ditch and your head sent back to your master as a message.”

“Fair point, fair point,” Cul conceded. He rose from his chair. “Send more troops to Jötunheim and have Tyr go with them. The Jötunns should remember his ruthlessness from the war. It would do the General good to stretch his legs again. _I_ am going to go visit my bride.” With one last nod to Mimir, Cul went to find Frigga.

* * *

Frigga braced herself when the doors to her chambers opened. She had to school her features into a cool mask, burying her feeling deep when Cul stepped inside. Frigga wanted to cry, her son was so close and yet so far away.

“Hello wife,” Cul said upon entry.

“I am not your wife,” Frigga replied, turning away from him.

“Not yet.”

“Not ever.”

She heard Cul move over towards her. The tread of his steps differed from those of her son. While she could see Loki’s face, there was no mistaking that the _thing_ controlling his body was not her Loki.

Cul gripped her arm and spun her around to face him. “Why do you resist? You should have been my wide, not Odin’s. Thor should be my son.” His eyes roved over her. “I will enjoy creating our heir.”

Frigga laughed. “That is never going to happen. First of all, I will _never_ perform such an act with my son—”

“Then it’s a good thing you hold no genetic tie to this body.”

“And second,” Frigga continued, “I am unable to bear children anymore.”

Cul’s expression twisted with rage. “You lie.”

Frigga drew herself up and allowed the emotions she had surrounding her inability to carry a child to surface. “For a woman to be told she is unable to carry a child within her womb, it is some of the most devastating news a woman can be given. I have lost a part of myself that makes me a woman and I would not lie about that.”

Cul stared at her silently for a few moments. “I suppose not but if you are unable to give me an heir then what use have I for you?”

“Even were I still able to have children, you would never allow an heir to live.”

Cul shrugged, “You do have a point. I can’t have any challenge to my throne. Then question now becomes, what am I to do with you?”

“Give me back my son.”

“I grow tired of hearing about the boy,” Cul said, his anger returning. “Loki is _dead!_ This body is mine now, _all_ of Yggdrasil is mine now, to do with as I please.”

Frigga remained calm in the face of Cul’s anger. She put power behind her voice when she said, “Loki.” She reached out with her seiðr, seeking that of her son’s. “Loki.”

“Shut up,” Cul snapped. “What you are trying to do will not work. I told you, he’s dead.”

He may claim that but Frigga saw uncertainty in his eyes. “Loki.”

With a roar, Cull gripped her by the neck, forcing her back until she fell against the sofa. Cul forced her head to tip up against the back of it. “I told you to shut up!”

She could feel his fingers twitching as he seemed to struggle to control them. She could still feel Loki’s seiðr and knew Cul’s claim of her son’s death for the lie it was. Even with his hand around her neck she did not struggle to breathe. “Loki.”

A full bodied shudder ran through Cul and his breaths came in great pants. Body taunt, Cul glared at her. He began to blink rapidly and Frigga watched as his eyes flickered between red and green before finally settling on the emerald orbs she knew so well.

His hand left her neck and he glanced around in confusion. “Mama?”

Frigga shot to her feet and took his face into her hands. She continued to reach out to him with her seiðr. “Yes dearheart, I am here. Where are you?”

Loki’s expression contorted in pain. Fear enveloped those beautiful green eyes. “She said he put me in…” Loki repeatedly jabbed a finger against his head. “Trapped inside… Help me mama, please. I’m still in here.”

“I know, I know,” she said hurriedly. It broke her heart to watch him struggle. “I am not giving up on you Loki but you _must_ fight him.”

Loki let out a cry of pain and clasped his head. Loki groaned, his jaw clenched as he fought to keep control of his body. “I—” he swallowed hard. “I made my light,” he said through gritted teeth. “She said as long as I keep my light bright I will live. Find my light and you find me.”

“She? She who, Loki?”

“Hel…” His voice seemed to catch in his throat. “…la…”

Frigga watched his chest tighten and she suddenly found herself trying to keep him from falling. She grabbed at his seiðr with her own, hoping to keep him surfaced for just a little bit longer. “I’m not letting you go without a fight, dearheart.” She forced him to meet her gaze. “I love you Loki, remember that. Keep it close to your heart and whenever you begin to feel doubt remember that you will always be _my_ son and I will always be _your_ mother. Most of all, remember that I will _always_ love you.”

Tears escaped Loki’s eyes, which had begun to flicker red again. “I love you too mama. Find me…”

Loki finally lost the struggle for control and Cul resurfaced once more. He contorted Loki’s features with such rage that for a moment Frigga feared he might actually kill her. To her surprise, Cul stormed from her chambers, slamming the doors behind him.

Once she was certain Cul was far enough away from her rooms that she wouldn’t be overheard, she screamed.

* * *

Loki came back to himself to find he was no longer atop Fenris, but sprawled out on the ground with Hela hovering over him in concern. He blinked up at his… sister? Cousin? How did that work now anyways?

Loki sat up carefully, fighting against the wave of nausea the action produced along with the raging headache he now had. He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes and took several moments to calm his swirling emotions. He knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he’d had control over his body for a brief time. Too brief but it had allowed him to know that his mother still lived and it gave confirmation that what he had seen with his father had been real as well.

“How is it I'm able to feel ill when I’m nothing more than a spirit here?” Loki asked, purposefully forcing his thoughts away from what Cul was doing with his body.

“The mind has power,” Hela replied. “You view yourself here to have a physical body and it will react accordingly to what you think certain actions will cause.” She helped him to stand. “Are you all right Loki?”

“I don’t know,” Loki replied. “What happened?”

“You tell me.”

That wasn’t very helpful. “I saw mother. I think…” He turned his gaze out over the field they had been traveling across. “I think I had control over my body for a moment. Cul raged against me and,” he wrapped his arms around himself, “it hurt so much to fight him.”

Hela sighed. “That is to be expected. We must find where he has rooted himself. The pain you feel is those roots digging deeper.”

“But how?” Loki gestured at their surroundings with one hand. “Where do we even begin to look?”

“Cul’s manipulations start with your fears and insecurities. He’ll have tried to manipulate your perception, alter the way you see certain memories to make them worse than they had been.”

“He’s altered my memory?”

“No, not really. He doesn’t have that ability. What I mean is, he’ll have increased your sense of hurt, of fear… of abandonment.”

Loki shuddered involuntarily. He’d always feared being abandoned by those he cared about. He supposed he understood why that was now. He _had_ been abandoned once, by those who should have loved and cared for him.

Fenris whimpered when the sky darkened ominously. They all glanced up at it and Loki couldn’t stop the wave of fear that washed over him. “He’s coming.”

“Then we should leave,” Hela replied, mounting Fenris once again.

Loki climbed up behind her. “Where can we possibly go? How do we hide from him?”

“We go deeper.” She twisted to glance back at him. “We keep moving. Cul will have planted his roots within your most painful memories because he knows you would want to stay away from them.”

Smart idea. “What if I can’t face them?”

“That’s exactly what Cul is counting on.” Thunder crashed in the distance. “You will have to face them Loki but you won’t be alone when you do.” With that, she spurred Fenris on and they raced away from the approaching storm.

* * *

Thor, his friends and his cousins all returned to the site in which they had first arrived in Jötunheim what seemed like ages ago. The trek back to the cliffside they had come through didn’t seem to take as long as the trek to the village had been. Thor’s mind swirled with questions, how would they find the path from Midgard to Asgard? What would they find once they did get to Asgard? Had the armies spread to Midgard and what of Loki? Had Cul managed to extinguish his spirit? Thor prayed more than anything that was not the case.

Using Mjölnir, Thor reopened the portal leading to Midgard. Fandral and Volstagg entered first with Býleistr and Helblindi following after. Checking one last time that no one had followed them, Thor entered as well. The Midgardian church they returned to was almost a comfort. He was surprised, however to find Lady Jane waiting for them along with another Midgardian. The church proprietor they’d met the last time wasn’t there and neither was Dr. Selvig or Lady Darcy.

“This everyone?” The Midgardian man asked. He was a little shorter than Thor, with short dark hair and a neatly trimmed beard that framed his chin. The man sported a pair of spectacles similar to what the Son of Coul wore although with very little light inside the room, Thor didn’t understand why the man wore them. Perhaps he was blind?

“Did you find Loki?” Lady Jane asked.

“What are you doing here?” Thor asked instead. “I thought you would have returned home.”

“Yeah, that’s my fault,” the man said. “She wanted to come back and I let her.”

“Kvasir called me, I have no idea how he got my number, to let me know you’d be back.”

“Jane called me for a ride,” the other man said, “and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to meet an actual Norse God.” He gestured behind himself. “We should probably get going before the zombie’s come back.”

“Zombies?” Helblindi and Býleistr exchanged confused looks. “What’s a zombie?” Helblindi asked.

“Is that little bro?”

“No,” Thor replied. “He’s Loki’s…” Thor shook his head. “It’s complicated. Zombies? Do you mean a draugr?”

“Think The Walking Dead meets 28 Days Later.”

“I have no idea what either of those are,” Thor said, frustration leaking into his voice.

“Well, let’s not stick around to find out.” He pressed a finger to his ear, “Jay, the jet ready?” The man clapped his hands together, “Great!” He turned back to them. “Well Maid Marian, we’ve found Robin Hood and his merry men. What’s say we get the hell out of dodge?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I had no intention of bringing anyone from the other movies but Tony showed up anyway. I don't plan on bringing in the Avengers but given the direction the plot is going it makes sense to bring him and a few others in.


	17. Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and company make their way across the pond, Cul makes an appearance and Hela shows Loki something from his past he was too young to remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of Cul's speech is taken from what Loki said in Germany in The Avengers and writing Tony is fun.
> 
> I _really_ don't want to sound like I'm begging for reviews, (don't get me wrong, I love hearing what people think and having discussions about the plot) but is anyone still actually interested in this fic? I kind of feel like, after the last chapter, people are beginning to lose interest.

**_Seventeen_ **

It was only a short time later that Thor once again found himself aboard an airplane. He hated it just as much this time as he did the last time. He distracted himself by watching Helblindi and their Midgardian benefactor, who they learned was named Tony Stark, adamantly converting over topics Thor hadn’t bothered to pay attention to.

Helblindi pressed his face against one of the windows. “How can something his heavy get airborne? Shouldn’t the wings be flapping?”

Stark laughed, “Uh, no. We may call these things ‘birds’ but if the wings were flapping we’d be in some serious trouble. It’s all about the aerodynamics and thrust. Basically, the engines are pushing the surrounding air _down_ which in turn pushes the plane _up_. The amount of thrust the engines produce determines how fast we go.”

“That’s amazing.” Helblindi twisted to face his brother. “Bý, we _need_ these in Jötunheim.”

Býleistr raised an eyebrow. “How would you propose we get one there? Also,” he glanced at Stark, “how quickly do these contraptions freeze?”

Stark shrugged, “Depends on the design, I guess. We have planes that fly to and from Antarctica, so they can handle extreme cold.”

“What’s Antarctica?” Helblindi asked. “Is it another Realm?”

“It’s our southern-most continent,” Stark replied. There was a twinkle in the man’s eyes that reminded Thor of Loki. His brother was ever looking for something new to learn and loved teaching his new knowledge to others, those who had been willing to listen at least. Once again, Thor berated himself for belittling Loki’s interests the way that he had. _One more area in which I need to apologize to him for._

Thor returned his attention to Stark and Helblindi. He had a feeling that if Loki and Stark were ever to meet, they would become fast friends. Perhaps once this was all over he would introduce them. Loki needed a friend he could call his own.

_“Sir,”_ an accented male voice said. The voice had not come from anyone within the cabin. Thor and his companions looked for the source of the voice but to no avail.

“Yeah Jay,” Stark replied, seemingly to thin air.

_“You may wish to turn on the news. The anomaly appeared again and deposited two new figures. They have appeared at the United Nations and are addressing the ambassadors.”_

Stark reached for something and a screen on the far side of the cabin lit up. Displayed upon it were several figures, most prominent the two wearing Asgardian garb.

Helblindi pointed to the figure in green and gold. “It’s Loki.”

Thor’s heart caught in his throat upon seeing his younger brother. He felt someone give his shoulder a reassuring squeeze but he couldn’t remove his eyes from Loki. His brother appeared healthy but Thor knew Loki was slowly dying. He also knew that, despite appearances, that _wasn’t_ Loki. The eyes gave it away if nothing else.

“That’s Loki?” Lady Jane asked.

Thor wasn’t entirely sure how to answer that. “No,” he finally replied. “It’s his body but he is not in control of his actions. He’s being possessed by Cul.”

“Possessed?” Stark asked, eyebrows shooting up in surprise. “Like demon possession? Do we need to swing by the Vatican for a priest and do an exorcism?”

“What?” every non-Midgardian asked.

“Sorry,” Stark said, returning his attention to the screen, “sarcasm is my main language, I can’t help it. Anyway, what you’re saying is he,” here Stark rapped his knuckles on the screen, “is being controlled by something else.”

“Wait a minute,” Fandral interrupted, “isn’t that Chancellor Imir?”

Thor realized his friend was right. “Do you think Cul has him under his thrall as well?”

“It’s possible.”

“The only reason we weren’t ensnared may be because we left Asgard,” added Volstagg.

“Your chancellor is not under Cul’s thrall,” Býleistr said, drawing everyone’s attention to him.

“How do you know that?” Thor asked.

“Before I left Utgard, the Priests returned from Asgard. I was informed Vörnir had died and that Cul Borson proclaimed himself King of the Nine Realms and that the rest of us must swear fealty to him. Priest Heidrek may have been loyal to Laufey but he was not blinded by power like Vörnir was. Heidrek also told me Cul called your chancellor _Mimir_.”

“Wait, like Mimir’s head?” Stark asked.

All eyes now turned to Stark. “Who’s Mimir?” Lady Jane asked.

“Just a sec,” Stark replied with a wave of his hand. “Jay, turn the volume up.”

Sound began to emanate from the screen and Thor barely managed to suppress his whimper when he heard Loki’s voice.

_“People of Midgard,”_ said Cul, _“I am Cul Borson, King of Asgard and all the Nine Realms of Yggdrasil. Midgard had long been abandoned by Asgard but I mean to rectify that. I come before you, not as a vengeful God but as a loving God._

_“I have seen the chaos which has engulfed your Realm and through my benevolence, shall your Realm know peace._

_“You mortals have long turned your gaze to the skies, looking to a higher power for answers to your woes.”_ Cul pressed a hand against his chest and smiled. _“_ I _am that answer. All you need do is swear your undying loyalty to me,”_ Cul tightened the grip of his other hand on Gungnir, _“and kneel before your God.”_

The room erupted in protest, each of the ambassadors decrying Cul’s words. Thor watched the smile drop from Cul’s face. He slammed Gungnir on the ground and even Thor flinched from the sound and the shockwave that emanated from it. Several of the ambassadors lost their footing and the room became silent.

_“I see that Asgard’s neglect of you has had adverse effects upon your Realm. You now think yourselves beyond Asgardian law. Midgard_ is _a protectorate of Asgard and therefore subject to its, to_ my, _rule. You seem to have forgotten your natural state. You have forgotten the unspoken truth of humanity, that you all crave subjugation. You do not want independence nor freedom, not truly. It is in your very nature to be ruled._

_“You may claim to want freedom and while it is a bright lure, such freedom diminishes whatever joy life may give you in your mad scramble for power. Look at you,”_ Cul gestured to the slowly rising ambassadors, _“your so-called ‘world powers’ are ever at each other’s throats. War and strife and_ death _is what awaits you should you not kneel before me.”_

Stark shook his head, muting the screen. “Damn,” Stark said, “I’m just waiting for his eyes go glow, his voice to echo and for him to yell ‘Tau’ri Kree’.” Stark rolled his eyes at their blank looks, “Forget it, more sarcasm. Remind me to introduce you to _Stargate_ when this is over.”

Their attention returned to the screen when the assembly hall suddenly became flooded with Einherjar and Thor’s jaw dropped when he realized some of those Einherjar were _dead_. “What by the Nine…”

“See,” Stark said, gesturing to the screen, “that’s what I was talking about. Zombies.” Chaos erupted in the assembly hall as the Einherjar began to round up the ambassadors. “Jay,” Stark said, rising to his feet, “ETA to New York.”

_“We are still several hours out sir,”_ the mysterious “Jay” replied. _“Also, Agent Coulson is on the line for you.”_

“Can it wait?” Stark asked.

_“He claims the matter to be most urgent.”_

“Yeah, I’m sure. Does it have anything to do with what’s happening at the UN headquarters?”

_“He did not say.”_

“Well find out and if it’s about Fury’s little boy band project, I’m not interested.” Stark made his way across the cabin and retrieved what appeared to be a metal case of some kind. He tossed it to the floor and Thor was surprised to see it spring open. Stark gripped the two handles which had appeared and pulled. They all watched in awe and Stark became encased in red and silver armor. Stark’s voice had an echoing quality when he spoke. “I can fly to New York faster on my own. When the plane lands, Happy and Pepper will meet you,” he said to them.

“I’ll go with you,” Thor said, rising to his feet.

“I don’t have any armor for you buddy,” Stark said.

Thor picked up Mjölnir, “I do not need any.”

“Uh…”

“What about us?” Lady Jane asked. “You can’t just leave us here. There has to be some way that we can help.”

Thor could see the others nodding in agreement. He turned to Volstagg and Fandral, “See what you can find in the way of the portal leading from Midgard to Asgard. Short of finding the Tesseract, it is the only way we’ll be able to return to Asgard.”

“The Tesseract?” Stark and Lady Jane asked at the same time. They exchanged looks afterwards.

Stark held up his hands, “Blue cube about yay big?”

“You know of it?” Thor asked.

“Yeah, my dad recovered it from the ocean at the end of World War II.” He gestured to the glowing circle in his chest, “It’s what ARC Reactor technology is based off of. It went missing in the ‘70’s though.”

“I think I know who has it,” Lady Jane said warily.

“You do?”

Lady Jane nodded. “This is just a guess but after everything that happened in New Mexico, Erik received a call to do research on some project. The man who contacted him was Nick Fury.”

“Fury?” asked Stark. “Son of a bitch. All right, new plan. Jay, hack SHIELD’s database and see if you can’t find anything pertaining to the Tesseract or ARC Reactor technology. Hell, anything to do with dad or Selvig will do.”

_“And Agent Coulson?”_ Jay asked.

“Tell him I’m busy or… yeah, tell him I’m busy.”

“We’ll see if we can’t locate a portal leading to Asgard,” Býleistr said. “It will give us an alternative in the event finding the Tesseract doesn’t pan out.”

“Good idea,” Stark said with a nod. The faceplate of his armor rose, revealing his face. He turned to Thor, “I still don’t have any way for you to follow me.”

“Thor can fly,” Lady Jane said.

Stark’s eyes bulged. “Say what now?”

“God of Thunder,” Thor said.

Stark rolled his eyes, “Okay, whatever Raiden.” The faceplate closed again. “Let’s go.”

“Be careful,” Lady Jane said.

Thor glanced at his friends. “You too,” he replied.

Thor was momentarily caught off guard when Helblindi hugged him. “Stay safe,” Helblindi said, “and bring Loki back.”

Thor placed a hand to the back of Helblindi’s head. It hadn’t actually occurred to him until now that Helblindi was still a child. He looked over to Býleistr and could tell the elder Jötunn was having the same thoughts. He turned back to the child, “I will do everything in my power to bring our brother back.”

Helblindi smiled up at him then let go only to cling to Býleistr instead. Býleistr said something to Helblindi but it was too soft for anyone to hear. Helblindi nodded at whatever Býleistr said.

Thor cast one last look at his friends then followed Stark to another compartment in the plane. The rear portion began to lower and wind whipped around them.

Stark’s voice was amplified by his armor, “Are you sure about this?”

“Loki is my brother—” Thor started to argue.

“I meant jumping from the plane without a parachute.”

In answer, Thor spun Mjölnir and leapt from the plane.

* * *

Fenris sped across the valley trying to outrun the storm that was coming for them. Loki could _feel_ Cul’s anger and he knew the other would not allow Loki to regain control of his body for a third time.

“Where are we going?” Loki called over the roar of the wind.

“It’s not much farther,” Hela replied. “Once we locate the doorway to your memories, it will be much harder for Cul to track your spirit.”

Loki twisted to look behind them. The storm raged ever closer and Loki swore he could make out Cul’s face in the dark clouds. Thunder crashed and Loki felt a shiver race up his spine. He turned back, gripping tighter to Fenris’s fur and closed his eyes. Cul grew stronger on his fear and Loki was doing everything in his power to keep the feeling at bay.

The change came so suddenly it took Loki a moment to realize it had even happened. One moment they were trying to outrun a raging storm and the next everything around them was still and quiet. Fenris slowed her frantic pace and was now moving at a leisurely walk.

Once again, Loki looked around. Instead of a vast field, the area around them resembled an immense… nothingness.

Loki felt fear trying to creep in again. “What is this place?”

“Your subconscious mind,” Hela replied, smoothing her hair back away from her face. “The place we were before was your conscious mind.”

“There’s nothing here.”

“It may seem that way but I assure you, there is more going on within your subconscious than there is without.” Fenris came to a stop and Hela dismounted. Loki followed suit, still glancing around. He hoped to find _something_ more than the black landscape they found themselves in. _Maybe this isn’t really my subconscious mind_ , Loki thought, _maybe this is my soul._ It made sense, considering…

Loki’s focus was brought back to the present when Hela smacked him in the chest. “Stop it,” she said.

“What are you talking about?”

“I can practically hear your self-deprecating thoughts.”

“I’m not—” Loki started to protest but Hela’s raised eyebrow stopped any argument short. He sighed, “It’s not easy to alter the way I see myself.”

“I know,” Hela replied, her tone understanding. “It will take time but the more you focus on those negative thoughts, the stronger Cul’s hold on you will become and the harder it will be for you to cast him out.” She turned and began walking, “Come, there’s something I want to show you.”

He followed after Hela, Fenris nosing at his shoulder as he passed and he reached up to scratch at her muzzle. The landscape around them changed once more, the darkness fading just a little and resolving into a place that was both familiar and unfamiliar to him. He was seeing Jötunheim but it was not a location within the Realm that he recognized.

“This is my memory?” he inquired.

“Yes, though not a memory of your mind but a memory of your soul.”

Loki flinched when thunder crashed again. It wasn’t actually the sound of a storm he was hearing but that of swords clashing, it was the sounds of battle. Figures appeared, Ǽsir and Jötnar, fighting with one another. The sounds caused an old fear to stir within Loki and he suddenly realized why he had been so afraid of thunderstorms as a child.

The warriors around them paid them no heed and why would they? None of them were truly there.

Loki continued to follow Hela and the further they walked, the more distant the sounds of battle became. They came to a large structure carved out of stone and ice and Loki realized they were standing before what had once been a great temple. There were only a few Ǽsir about and Loki was shocked to realize he knew one of them. The man he recognized was much younger than the one Loki remembered. The man was haggard from battle and with a fresh wound to the face, where there should have been an eye there was instead a gaping wound.

Captivated, Loki followed a much younger Odin into the temple. He paused, turning back to Hela, “I don’t understand. Why are you showing me this?”

“Because it’s something you need to see,” Hela replied.

Loki’s head whipped back around at the sound of a baby’s cry. He watched as his father was startled by the sound as well, his remaining eye widening in shock. Quickly Odin made his way through the temple, his eye scanning everything around him. Loki followed Odin to the back of the temple where a squirming, screeching, bundle lay upon the altar.

With seemingly no thought, Odin swiftly scooped up the infant Loki. What little fabric covered him, it could not conceivably be called a blanket, fell away, revealing the infant Loki’s uncut umbilical cord. Loki realized that not only had the umbilical cord not been properly taken care of, but that his infant self was still covered in birthing fluids. His heart clenched in his chest at the realization of just how quickly Farbauti was to toss him away.

Infant-Loki’s cries subsided somewhat when he was safely cradled in Odin’s arms and Loki watched as the infant’s skin changed from cobalt to porcelain. The change was too swift to have been caused by Odin’s magic and Loki realized that even as a baby his ability to shapeshift was second nature. Odin gently rocked the infant while glancing around the area once more. Loki wasn’t entirely sure what his father was looking for but… the quick affection he watched cross his father’s face as Odin tried to calm Infant-Loki while wrapping him within his cape caused Loki’s eyes to water.

Odin gently lay the infant back upon the altar, something Loki’s infant self was not pleased about. “Be still, little one,” Odin said, running his hand over the baby’s bald head. “I will return in a moment, I promise.” Odin quickly left the room only to return a moment later and swiftly scooped Infant-Loki back up again. “There, there, little one,” Odin said, rocking Infant-Loki once more. “I’ve returned just as I promised.”

Loki followed his father as Odin made his way from the temple and back to Asgard. He watched his father keep to the shadows as he made his way to the palace, even going so far as to take the secret passages inside to the healers wing. He watched Lady Eir try to attend his father, only for Odin to push aside his injury for the sake of the child he held. Of course, Loki couldn’t help but snicker when Lady Eir chastised Odin for refusing treatment. Apparently annoying Lady Eir was a family trait. When Lady Eir was satisfied with Infant-Loki’s health, she gave Odin a bottle and Loki couldn’t help but find the image of his father feeding him as strange.

Eventually Lady Eir left and Loki just watched as his father took care of Infant-Loki. Loki had convinced himself that his father had stolen him for the purpose of using him as some kind of puppet king of Jötunheim but Loki couldn’t deny the obvious affection upon his father’s face.

When Frigga entered the room, Loki watched them interact feeling as though someone was squeezing his chest the entire time. The pure joy on her face when she took the infant into her arms and cradled him close was undeniable.

“What will you do with him?” Frigga asked warily.

Odin sighed, “I had not thought that far ahead. We could send him to live with a noble family but I fear what would happen to him should his heritage be discovered. I’ll not have Asgard take its anger at Jötunheim out on an innocent child. Which is why I wanted to speak with you first. I know you are still recovering from your miscarriage and I do not wish to cause you further pain but…” Odin stood and his single eye gazed down at the now quiet baby. “I want to keep him with us.”

Frigga’s expression became one of relief. “To take this child from me now would cause me pain, husband. This baby,” her own eyes fell to the infant she held, “was always meant to be ours. I feel this in my very soul. I have always known we would have two sons but it never occurred to me that he would be born of another’s womb.”

Infant-Loki let out a tiny sneeze and his form swiftly changed to Jötunn blue. Loki winced when his infant self let out a decidedly angry wail.

“It seems I’ve hated that form no matter the age,” Loki quipped.

They watched as Odin and Frigga fussed over the infant, trying to glean what was the matter. The moment Infant-Loki’s skin returned to that of an Ǽsir, he quieted down.

When his parents briefly discussed withholding the truth of Loki’s origins from his infant self, Loki thought he might have begun to understand their reasoning. There was no denying the fear in their eyes at the thought that the people of Asgard might take their anger at the Jötnar out on a baby nor the sadness at the idea he may grow to hate himself should he hear the people speak ill of them.

Loki realized that if he had known the truth of his origins as a child he would have not only hated himself but he would have feared himself as well. While Loki’s time in Jötunheim had shown him that the Jötnar as a whole were not a monstrous race, knowing he was tied to Laufey through blood along with the viciousness of Farbauti’s attack on him, Loki still feared the evil they possessed had somehow passed on to him. It was a fear he did not know how to abate.

Loki was pulled from his dark thoughts when Frigga said, “Knowing you, you already have several names picked out.”

Odin blushed, his one eye reflecting his embarrassment. “You know me too well Frigga. However, I did choose Thor’s name and I would not leave you out of naming our second.”

“Good,” Frigga replied, “because I would almost fear whatever name you have thought up for him.”

Odin winced when his expression of incredulity pulled at his wound, “Excuse me wife? I have a wonderful taste for names.”

Frigga scoffed, “Oh please, your first choice for Thor was Fiske.”

“It is a good name.”

“It means ‘fish’.”

Loki snickered at Frigga’s dry tone, which went perfectly with her unamused stare. _I can’t wait to tell Thor he was almost named “fish”,_ Loki mused. His amusement vanished in the wake of the thought. Would he be able to share that knowledge with Thor? Would he ever see his brother again, his parents? What if he never escaped from Cul?

He felt Hela squeeze his arm. “What are you thinking?” she asked.

Loki sighed, “Just… what if I’m unable to free myself from Cul?” He met her single eye, “Can Cul be killed? I know he is just a spirit but can that spirit die?”

“Yes and no,” Hela replied. “If your spirit should wither, Cul’s control over your body will be absolute. The only way to destroy Cul’s spirit would be…” Hela shook her head, “Forget it; it’s not something I’m willing to consider.”

“Hela,” Loki said, stepping in front of her, “Cul is currently in control of my body and the Norns only know what he’s making me do. I don’t want… If there is some way that I can stop him, some way that I can permanently remove him from the realm of the living then I have to try.”

“You don’t know what you’re asking.”

Solemnly Loki said, “I think I do.”

Hela scrutinized him for some time and Loki wished he had some idea of what she was thinking. Finally, she blew out a breath and shook her head. “A last resort,” she said, her eye hardening, “we will completely destroy his soul as a last resort. I will not sacrifice you to kill him.” She gestured to the memory of their parents, “They have suffered enough at the hands of Cul. I’ll be damned if you are added to that list.”

Loki nodded in acknowledgement. He could live with that.

“There’s one more part to this memory I want to show you,” Hela said.

Events around them seemed to speed up and in the next moment, Loki found himself within his parent’s quarters. He couldn’t help but stare; slack jawed, at the image of Thor as a toddler. His brother was all chubby cheeks, stubby limbs and baby fat. His blonde hair sat messily upon his head and the young Thor was constantly pushing the long locks away from his face.

After witnessing Thor’s initial joy at seeing his father return, Loki watched as the young Thor became absolutely _fascinated_ with the baby his mother held. Frigga took a seat upon the sofa and adjusted her hold on Infant-Loki so that Thor could see him. “This is Loki,” she said.

The young Thor gazed at the baby in awe and with one finger poked Infant-Loki in his chubby cheek. “Loki?” Thor asked.

Laughing softly, Frigga said, “You must be gentle Thor.” 

Infant-Loki’s face scrunched up, letting out a grunt of displeasure at the prodding and his green eyes opened. Thor bent over to be closer and Infant-Loki’s eyes tracked the older boy.

“He’s a baby,” Thor said.

“Yes he is,” Odin replied. “He’s your baby brother.”

Thor gasped, eyes going wide. “My bro’dir? I got a baby bro’dir?” Renewed excitement lit up Thor’s face. He turned back to the infant. “Hi Loki bro’dir. I’m F’or. I’m your big bro’dir.” He looked up at Frigga. “Can I give him a kissy?

“Of course you can,” Frigga said with a smile. “Just remember to be very gentle.”

“Okay,” Thor leaned in to place a kiss against Infant-Loki’s pudgy cheeks. The baby’s face scrunched up and he wiggled a little from the action. “Can I hold him?”

Odin stood and pat his hand against the sofa. “Hop up here.”

Thor wiggled in between his parents. Frigga placed Infant-Loki in Thor’s lap and instructed him on how to properly hold the baby’s head. Thor had a moment of anxiety; fearful he may drop his new sibling but was quickly reassured by his parents. As soon as he became comfortable, Thor began to speak to Infant-Loki, telling him about everything they were going to do together. “You tiny Loki. I’m gonna be a good big bro’dir. We can play with my toys too. You’re gonna like it outside.”

“It will be a while yet before Loki can play with you like that. He needs time to grow first,” Odin said.

“I can’t play with him?”

“You can, but not like that just yet.”

Thor frowned, “That’s not fun.” He turned back to the baby in his lap and continued speaking about all of the future mischief they would get into. Loki watched his parents as they gazed fondly at their two children.

Loki had thought, convinced himself actually, that his coming to be a part of their family had been a process. It surprised him to see that had not been the case at all. He had been welcomed in as though it was the most natural thing in all of the Nine.

Loki suddenly recalled his mother’s words from what seemed like so long ago, when he was still reeling from the truth of his birth.

_“Do you want to know what you did when you first met Thor?” Frigga asked._

_“What?” Loki asked._

_“Thor was so excited to finally have a little brother. He asked if he could hold you so we set him up on the couch and placed you on his lap. He was telling you all of the things you two were going to do once you were old enough and you,” she tapped a finger against his nose, “peed on him.”_

_Loki couldn’t have heard that right, “I… I what?”_

_“Oh yes,” she said, nodding. “You let out a happy little gurgle and just… peed all over his lap. The look of shock on Thor’s face was priceless.”_

Infant-Loki made another little noise, drawing Loki’s attention back to the present and Thor let out a cry of shock. “Mama!” Thor yelled, surprise clearly etched on his face. “He pee on me!”

Loki burst out laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Portions of the memory are from another of my fics though changed to work for this story.


	18. Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frigga flees Asgard and Thor confronts Cul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another chapter that didn't quite go the way I'd expected.

**_Eighteen_ **

Frigga turned sharply at the sudden clanking outside of her chambers. Cul had not been back to torment her since she’d been able to bring Loki forth. He more than likely feared her being able to do so again. She stopped her pacing when the doors to her chambers opened.

Frigga was more than a little surprised to see Lady Eir enter. Frigga knew her guards had been instructed not to let anyone besides those delivering her meals to enter her rooms. Lady Eir certainly did not meet that profile.

Lady Eir gestured for Frigga to follow her. Frigga gathered her skirts and did so. Once she passed the threshold to her chambers, she saw that the loud clang she had heard earlier was the sound of the Einherjar posted at her doors falling over.

Lady Eir waved a hand. “They’re unconscious for the moment. They’ll wake with a nasty headache but that’s all. Come my queen, we must leave.”

Frigga wasted no time in following after the healer. She gripped the other woman’s arm. “Please tell me, is there any news of my sons?”

Lady Eir paused momentarily, “Cul has taken Loki to Midgard and there has been no word on Thor.”

While Frigga was disheartened by the news, she refused to lose hope. “What of Odin?”

“In the dungeon,” she replied. “Cul has kept him isolated but no harm has come to him.”

“Is it possible to rescue him?”

“That might take a little more doing but it should be possible. Cul hasn’t managed to enthrall everyone. There are still a number of warriors who remain loyal to the House of Odin. Unfortunately, they are not as many as I would like.”

“How many?”

Lady Eir sighed as they made their way inside the secret pathways that lined the palace walls. “Of the Einherjar, a platoon or two.”

Frigga gasped, “That’s all?”

Lady Eir nodded solemnly. “Were there were more without such hatred in their hearts. The younger generation, those who didn’t fight in the war, seem a bit less susceptible. It’s not even just against the Jötnar; the hatred is spreading to encompass all of the different Realms. I’ve seen far too many who now carry Cul’s brand.”

“There must be some way to break the hold he has on their hearts.”

Lady Eir hummed in agreement. They continued to make their way down the darkened passageways and Frigga felt the air around them begin to cool as they moved deeper within the bowels of the palace.

The sound of the stone door sliding open seemed extremely loud to Frigga’s ears and she winced slightly at the noise. The two women skirted around the cells, attempting to keep to the shadows while also avoiding the patrols. It was much easier said than done.

At last, they found themselves in a seemingly empty cellblock. Frigga’s heart skipped when she saw her husband pacing restlessly in one of them.

Quickly, the two women raced over. Neither wanted to risk capture but neither did they want to leave without first confirming Odin’s health. Frigga stepped up to the energy barrier that kept her from her husband. “Odin,” she said as loudly as she dared.

His single eyed gaze found her instantly. “Frigga,” the relief in his voice was palpable. “Are you all right?”’

Frigga nodded and began to look for the controls to the cell barrier. “What of you?”

“Worried,” Odin replied. “Cul came down here some time ago. Loki is still alive.”

“I know,” Frigga stopped her search for a moment. “He surfaced for a short time when Cul came visit me, demanding that I sign the divorce decree.”

“I angered Cul to the point that he lost focus, which enabled Loki to surface, but only for a moment. He seemed confused and…” Odin’s voice lowered, “he mentioned Hela and Fenris.”

Frigga had been so focused on keeping Loki on the surface that she hadn’t realized the name he had spoken earlier. He’d mentioned Hela to her as well. “How could he know of her?” she inquired.

“I don’t know,” Odin replied. “We’ve never spoken of her to either of the boys. Also she’s…”

Frigga did not miss the pain in her husband’s eye at the thought of his daughter. What had happened to her so long ago still affected her husband. Cul had taken such delight in twisting Hela as a means of hurting his brother. So much pain over a throne. Bor and Bestla should never have let it come to this.

She watched Odin push his pain aside. “You must escape.”

“I’m not leaving you here.”

“Frigga, listen to me. You must leave the palace at the very least. Leaving Asgard would be preferable but without control of the Bifröst I don’t see how you can.”

“Nor would I know where to look for any of the natural paths,” she agreed. “If I can somehow make my way to Vanaheim, I may be able to pursue the libraries for a way to safely remove Cul from Loki.” Frigga didn’t want to hurt Odin further, but she had to say,” Perhaps even a way to destroy him.”

Odin turned his gaze away from her and his expression caused her breath to catch. “I already know of a way to destroy Cul,” Odin admitted.

“You do,” Frigga and Lady Eir asked in surprise.

“Yes although I was too weak to do so before and… I fear I may not be able to make myself now.”

“His spirit can be vanquished,” Lady Eir asked again. “How?” Frigga wondered the same thing.

When Odin returned his gaze to them, the amount of pain and sadness reflecting in his single eye cut her to the quick. Her husband took a breath to brace himself for what he was about to say.

“The only way to kill Cul’s spirit, is to kill the body he is inhabiting before he can escape.”

* * *

Thor flew beside Stark as they made their way across one of Midgard’s vast oceans. They were both moving much faster than the airplane had and Thor had taken just the tiniest bit of pleasure at Stark’s exclamation of surprise when his own armor had manifested around him.

Above the wind, Thor heard Stark call out then gesture with one hand to the area before them. Thor spotted land and large buildings began to dot the landscape. His heart raced and seemed to have somehow taken up residence in his throat. Thor expected to find Cul still at the UN Headquarters they had seen him at earlier but now Thor found himself wondering if he would be able to fight his uncle. He cared nothing for Cul but Thor had no desire to harm Loki.

They landed and were immediately set upon by the Einherjar, both dead and alive. Thor and Stark fought, Thor with Mjölnir and his lightning while Stark used some kind of energy blasts and various other projectiles. Thor lost himself in the battle, taking care to avoid harming any of the fleeing civilians, and only stopped when he heard Imir bark, “Enough!”

That one word seemed to cause everyone to stop where they were. Thor turned to where Imir’s voice had come from to find him and Cul both exiting the front of the building.

The dead Einherjar remained frozen mid-stance while the living ones stood at attention. Thor could not understand why any of them would attack Midgard. Cul must have them under his thrall as well.

Cul stepped up beside the Chancellor and was unable to hide his surprise at seeing Thor. “I put a blade in your heart,” Cul sneered.

“If you were half as proficient with a blade as Loki,” Thor retorted, “you wouldn’t have missed.”

Stark, from his place beside Thor, said, “You maybe want to explain what the hell you think you’re doing?”

Cul turned his red-eyed gaze on Stark, “This does not concern you, mortal man.”

“You’re attacking my world,” Stark retorted, “it damn well does concern me.”

“Midgard is under the authority of Asgard,” Cul replied, “and therefore subject to Asgard’s laws.”

“Right,” Stark said, drawing out the ‘i’. He gestured around them, “That’s what this is and not, say, world domination in disguise?”

Cul’s face twisted in anger. “You dare address your god in such a manor?”

Stark’s faceplate rose. “Uh, yeah because, and I hate to break it to you buddy, you ain’t no god.”

“I _am_ your god!”

“Yeah, ya know the whole Gou’ald posturing thing isn’t exactly selling it. I mean, _maybe_ , if you pulled off the glowing eyes and echoing voice—”

“Be silent!” Imir barked. “You’ve no idea what you are dealing with.”

Stark, undeterred, glanced back and forth between them and Thor then gestured to the courtyard they stood in. “Uh, Shakespeare in the park?” He struck a pose then motioned to the two men. “Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?”

Thor wasn’t entirely sure but he could have sworn he saw Loki emerge briefly, green eyes and the hint of a smile at Stark’s blasé attitude only to be pushed aside by Cul once again. It gave Thor hope that his brother’s spirit was still alive.

“Loki,” Thor called.

“Loki is dead,” Cul snarled, his eyes blazing and the red almost seeming to smolder. “There is _nothing_ of his spirit left.” Cul spread his hands, “This body is mine.”

“Why are you helping him?” Thor asked Imir. “How did you come to be under his thrall?”

To Thor’s surprise, Imir began to laugh. “I am not under Cul’s thrall boy. I work _with_ Cul willingly. I _taught_ him how to keep his spirit intact even with his natural body gone and how to take a new body for his own.” Imir gestured to himself. “This body you see was not originally mine. It belonged to your father’s first Chancellor, Haldor. It made the spell I cast to change the court’s memories much easier to manipulate when it came to changing my name. _My_ body was lost during the Ǽsir-Vanir War, when your _great-grandfather_ sent me off to Vanaheim as a sacrifice for peace. My true name is _Mimir._ ”

That was the name Býleistr had mentioned earlier. “What do you want?” Thor asked.

Mimir shrugged, “What does anyone who has been so grievously wronged want? Revenge of course.”

“Revenge on who?”

“Buri.”

“Buri?” Thor asked in disbelief. “Buri died long ago. How does any of this get you revenge?”

“By bringing down his entire house,” Mimir replied. “It has taken me _millennia_ to get to this point but once you and Odin and those two bastards of Farbauti’s are dead then so too is the line of Buri.”

“What about Cul?” Thor countered. “Cul is of Buri’s line and so is Loki.”

“Cul has been just as grievously wronged by Buri’s line as I have,” Mimir said. “As for Loki, all that remains is the body Cul now occupies.”  
“I don’t believe that,” Thor yelled. “I refuse to believe that!”

“Whether or not you believe changes nothing,” Cul said. He gripped Gungnir in both hands and pointed the staff at Thor. “Even if there was even a sliver of his spirit left and you somehow managed to expel me from this body, Loki would be nothing more than a vegetable.” Cul twisted Loki’s expression into a sinister smile. “Oh, how he screamed as I tore his spirit apart. It was the sweetest music in all the Realms.”

Thor saw red. Loki, who had been so wounded by recent events, who was terrified of himself, even going so far as to call himself a monster. His kind brother, who made himself appear to be a villain so that Thor could regain his power and had expected he would…

“Loki, if you can hear me,” Thor yelled, “hold on! I don’t know how but I _will_ find some way to save you. Fight Cul, don’t let him win!”

Cul’s expression turned pained and he blinked several times before shaking his head. When he looked back up at Thor, his eyes were green. “Thor?”

“Loki!” Thor made to rush towards his brother only to be stopped by several weapons suddenly thrust in his direction. “Loki, you can beat him! You can cast Cul out!”

“Uh… Raiden,” Stark began warily.

Thor ignored him and held out a hand. “Loki, brother, I knew you were stronger than Cul.”

Loki stepped towards Thor, clear confusion on his face. “Thor? Where… are…?”

He was almost close enough that Thor would soon be able to grab him. If he could get Loki away from Mimir then maybe he could help his brother keep Cul at bay. “I won’t let him take you without a fight,” Thor vowed. “I will find a way to save you.”

“Save… Oh Thor,” Loki smiled, “it’s almost disappointing how easily you fell for that.” His eyes blazed red again and he swung Gungnir. The spear connected with Thor’s skull with a resounding _crack._ Thor was unconscious before he even hit the ground.

* * *

Frigga and Lady Eir rushed quickly from the dungeon when an alarm rang out within the palace. It appeared as though her escape had finally been discovered. Frigga hated having to leave Odin behind, it galled her quite a bit in fact, but she knew she would not do him any good should she be recaptured. She would find a way to free her husband, one way or another.

Frigga wove her seiðr around Lady Eir and herself to help aid in their escape. While she had no idea where the healer was taking her, Frigga trusted the other woman. She knew there was no way Lady Eir’s heart would be corrupted by Cul’s influence, especially given the way she had raged when Loki had been taken from Asgard. Frigga was bothered by how many of Asgard’s citizens had already succumbed.

They traveled through the underground tunnels until; finally, daylight could be seen filtering in from a hidden entryway. Neither were willing to risk the sounds of their movement alerting any passing patrols. The two women remained huddled within the entryway until darkness settled on Asgard. Once night had sufficiently fallen, the two women finally escaped the palace grounds.

Lady Eir led Frigga around the outskirts of the city, steeling a cloak to drape over the queen to obscure her features. Their pace was achingly slow but fear of capture kept them alert and constantly on the move. A few times, they were forced to hide in the bushes and even a few decrepit barns to keep hidden from the patrols.

Just as the sun was beginning to make its way over the horizon, they entered a small cottage on the very outskirts of Asgard proper. Frigga glanced back to see the city and palace in the distance.

“Quickly my queen,” Lady Eir said, ushering her inside.

Frigga entered the dwelling and drew up short upon finding Heimdall inside along with a few other men and women. Each of them dropped to one knee upon her entrance. Frigga wasn’t entirely sure what to make of all this. She recalled what Lady Eir had said about the few of Asgard’s citizens who were unaffected by Cul’s influence but even then, Frigga was warry when it came to trusting certain people.

At her gesture, Heimdall and the others stood. It was strange to see him in something other than his golden armor. Instead, he was dressed in dark brown leathers, and a hooded cloak but what caught Frigga’s eyes immediately was the sword strapped to his back. His golden eyes watched her scrutinize him.

Frigga stepped over and pushed his hair away from his neck, exposing the skin just below his left ear. She felt a little better at seeing the skin unmarked. She stepped back from him, “You have abandoned your post again, I see.”

Heimdall’s facial expression didn’t change but she could see the chastisement reflecting in his eyes. “Without Hofund, the Bifröst is useless to anyone who wishes to access it. Cul and Mimir are trapped on Midgard. The forces they have sent to the remaining Realms will be unable to return as well.”

The only useful part of that, Frigga thought, was that she would have a chance to use the Bifröst to her own ends. “What of my children? Cul said he put a blade in Thor’s heart.”

The knot in Frigga’s stomach loosened just the slightest bit when Heimdall replied, “Thor is alive. He is, even now, working to stop Cul.”

“And Loki?”

“I can only see his body, my queen.”

Frigga knew that and yet the complete lack of emotion in his voice when it came to her younger son only made her ire rise. “You stole Hofund to prevent Cul from returning, why did you not take it before he left?”

“I did not have the opportunity.”

“Or you simply didn’t care.”

“My queen?” someone else in the room asked.

Frigga didn’t bother to see who had spoken. She kept her icy glare on Heimdall. She bit back the scathing words she wanted to throw at him and decided to focus on what was important. “I have need of the Bifröst. If we are to ever free our people from Cul’s influence we need answers and, unfortunately, those answers cannot be found on Asgard.”

“We shall escort you,” one of the men said. Frigga nodded her thanks to him.

“Where do you wish to go?” Heimdall asked.

Vanaheim would allow Frigga to scour its vast libraries for a way to banish Cul without… Her husband’s dire words rang in her ears but she refused to believe it was the only way. Cul had been banished once before but the magic that had been used had been lost to time. _Or purposefully misplaced,_ she thought. She would have to find some way to create a spell that would have the same effect while also keeping Loki alive.

Frigga realized Vanaheim would not be her destination. “I need you to send me to Jötunheim.”

* * *

Thor’s head felt as though he’d spent the night partaking of one too many drinks while also deciding to use his head as a battering ram. He groaned and tried to sit up only to be overcome with such a strong wave of nausea that he couldn’t prevent himself from vomiting.

“Easy there sparky,” Stark’s voice said in a very low tone. “You have a pretty nasty concussion. I was actually starting to worry you weren’t going to wake up.”

Thor cracked an eye open and flinched at the brightness of the device in Stark’s chest. “Wha’ ‘app’nd?” he slurred.

“Cul cracked you upside the head with that staff pretty good,” Stark replied. Thor felt something cool press against the area Cul had struck. “Luckily even god wannabe’s will go down when tased.”

“What?”

“I electrocuted Cul. Don’t worry,” Stark added quickly, “it only incapacitated him long enough for me to get us out of there. Pretty sure the guy was going to kill you and I doubt little bro and your friends would have been too thrilled with that.”

Thor pushed himself into a sitting position and had to take several deep breaths to keep from passing out again. He pressed a hand to the side of his head and felt the rather large lump the blow from Gungnir had created. “How…”

“How did we escape? Luckily, reinforcements showed up. I guess Fury went ahead with his boy band project anyway. Several SHIELD personnel showed up to help evacuate the ambassadors and take down the zombies. Mimir managed to escape.”

“Loki?”

Stark was silent for a moment. “Gone too, sorry buddy.”

Thor had fleetingly hoped that whatever Stark had done to incapacitate Cul would have allowed them to capture him. Once Thor felt it safe, he finally managed to open his eyes. The lights of the room he was in were turned down low and after several more minutes he finally asked, “Where are we?”

“Stark Tower. It’s not completely finished, the penthouse needs a few finishing touches and I still need to hook up the ARC reactor so the building has it’s own power source, then there’s—”

“Stark,” Thor interjected, “you’re rambling.”

“I am?” Stark asked, feigning surprise. “Sorry. Anyway, Pepper and Happy brought your groupies here. We had to leave your fancy hammer behind. No one could lift the damn thing. The kid’s been asking about you a lot. I think he likes you. As for the living soldiers, SHIELD has most of them in custody.”

Thor made to rise, “I will speak with the Einherjar.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Stark said, easily pushing Thor back against the bed he lay on. “So that’s what they’re called, huh? Besides, I told you, you have a nasty concussion. You’re not in any shape to be up right now. You need a couple of days at least.”

“I don’t have time for this.”

Stark’s tone softened. “I know and I get that you want to go after your brother but you won’t do him any good as you are right now. He’s stuck on Earth for now and SHIELD and JARVIS are keeping an eye out for any sign of him or Mimir. They yelled for someone named Heimdall but didn’t get an answer. I get the feeling the doorman stepped out.”

Heimdall didn’t activate the Bifröst at Cul or Mimir’s call? That could mean several things but the most probable reason was that Heimdall was no longer at his post. Someone else could always have activated the Bifröst in his stead but that it hadn’t most likely meant that it _couldn’t_ be activated. What was happening in Asgard?

Once again overcome by dizziness and nausea, Thor finally accepted that Stark was right and that Thor was in no condition to hunt for his brother. He lay back against the pillows and the pain in his skull abated just the tiniest bit.

“No sleeping,” Stark said. “With your concussion, you need to stay awake for the next several hours. I’m pretty sure I could get Býleistr to sit here and poke you so you stay awake. He seems like that kind of kid.”

“Býleistr and Helblindi are both several hundred years old.”

“Really? They don’t look a day over twenty, or in Helblindi’s case, twelve.” The bed shifted slightly, “Which, by the way, are you some kind of weird skinned alien too? Because Helblindi took off some necklace and not only did he grow like, three feet, but he looks like an extra for the _Blue Man Group_.”

Thor had absolutely _no_ idea what Stark was talking about. “Helblindi and Býleistr are Jötunn.”

Stark hummed and remained silent for a moment. “So… not a blue alien?”

Thor chuckled despite himself. “Sorry to disappoint Stark, I do not have blue skin.”

“Damn, because it’s actually really neat looking.”

“Loki is Jötunn.” Thor had no clue why he said that. “Well dominantly Jötunn at least. I’m not exactly sure how that works. Our parents kept it from him, from the both of us, for all of our lives. Loki only found out by accident. He did not take the news well.”

“Why would your parents do that and how could he not have figured it out? I’m sure once he took off his own pendant it would have been obvious.”

“Loki is a natural shapeshifter. From my understanding, he instinctually took on an Ǽsir form as an infant. He would have had no reason to suspect he wasn’t Ǽsir.”

“So, wait. Loki can turn himself into different things, like other people, and animals or what have you?”

“Yes.”

“Wow, that’s… Awesome.”

_Yes_ , Thor decided, _once this is over and Loki is rescued I am_ definitely _introducing him to Stark._

* * *

Heimdall had set the Bifröst to set Frigga and her escorts down on the outskirts of an abandoned village. The village had not been abandoned for long as none of the structures showed signs of decay. Her tracking spell led them through the village and into the mountains.

They trudged through the frozen mountainside at the base of the Jökel Mountains. Her tracking spell was leading them up through barely noticeable mountain paths. She pulled her cloak tighter around herself when the wind kicked up. If there had been some place decent to take shelter, Frigga may have done so long enough for them all to warm up. Unfortunately, there didn’t appear to be any sizeable caves close by nor did they have the time to search them either.

The wind finally abated, allowing them to proceed without fighting against it. Frigga stepped on a patch of ice and one of the Einherjar with her caught her before she could fall.

Once she was steady on her feet, the young man asked, “If I may, my queen, why Jötunheim?”

Frigga glanced back at the man and saw genuine curiosity in his eyes. “What do you know about the history between Asgard and Jötunheim? About the relations between our two realms?” she asked in return as they continued on.

The two young men glanced at each other. “Asgard and Jötunheim have always been at odds. I’ve never heard of truly peaceful relations between us,” the young man, Absalom if she remembered correctly, replied.

“You were taught of the evilness of the Jötnar,” Frigga conceded. It was something she and Odin had tried to change and to also shield the boys from hearing about. Such animosity was one reason they’d hidden the truth of Loki’s origins for so long. Even as an adult, they’d still feared for his safety.

Once again, the two men shared a look. “From what we were taught, the Jötnar indiscriminately kill anyone who is not Jötunn and even then they have no qualms about murdering their own,” answered Dagr, the other young man. “But by your query I think there is more to it than what we were told in our lessons.”

Frigga nodded and gestured around them. “Jötunheim is a dying Realm and has been for a long time, long before the war even. The tensions between our realms began even before that for reasons that have nothing to do with what anyone was led to believe.”

“I don’t understand,” Absalom said.

“Did you know there was a time that relations between Asgard and Jötunheim were as close as the relations between Asgard and Vanaheim are now?”

By the surprise on their faces, the idea had never occurred to them. “Really?” Dagr asked.

“Yes,” Frigga replied. “One of Asgard’s recent queens was even a Jötnar giantess.”

The two men’s eyes bulged. “A Jötunn Queen of Asgard?” The disbelief in Dagr’s voice was palpable, but there was no disgust, which lifted a weight from Frigga’s heart.

“If that is true, then why such tensions? Shouldn’t the realms have been more amicable?” asked Absalom.

“One would think but it became easier for the people to forget,” Frigga replied. “Besides, she never took on her Jötunn form while she lived in Asgard.”

“Which queen, if I may?”

“Odin’s mother, Queen Bestla.”

“That would make the King half Jötunn.”

“He is,” Frigga said with a nod.

“Is it true then, that Prince Loki is Jötunn as well?”

Frigga took a moment to reply. “It is,” she finally said. “Loki was abandoned by his parents at his birth due to his small size. Odin found him, brought him home and he has been our son ever since.”

“I thought those rumors of the prince were nothing more than a blatant lie,” Dagr said. “Rumors have also spread that Prince Loki is the son of Laufey.”

“Loki is the son of King Laufey and Queen Farbauti by blood,” Frigga said, stopping long enough to gauge their reaction to her words. While there was shock in their expressions, there was no hatred in their eyes. “We have also only just learned that Farbauti is Bestla’s daughter and Odin’s sister. As Bor and Bestla’s first born, Farbauti would have ascended to the throne of Asgard had she not come to Jötunheim. By all rights, Loki has the greatest claim to Asgard’s throne should he wish to take it.”

“Loki, King of Asgard? Not hardly,” Absalom laughed. “I mean no disrespect my queen but Prince Loki is too much of a free spirit to be tied down to a throne.”

Dagr nodded in agreement. “I will admit, it would be entertaining to watch him take on the curia regis.”

“Are you kidding? He’d eat them alive!”

“Exactly and he’d do it with a straight face.”

Absalom continued to laugh, to the point where tears had begun to form in his eyes. “I would pay good money to see that,” he said once his laughter had subsided. He wiped away the wetness, chuckling once more as he did so.

“So Loki’s being Jötunn doesn’t bother you?” Frigga asked.

The two men sobered. “Not at all my queen,” Dagr replied. “The prince has done much for the citizens, beyond the nobility. While Prince Thor is highly regarded among the nobility, nearly to the point of being worshiped, Prince Loki is the people’s prince. Those of us who were born to the lower classes, while we do admire Prince Thor, it is Prince Loki who we have seen most often.”

Absalom nodded in agreement. “The prince has made many visits to the outer villages, taught the children—”

“Wowed them with his magic,” Dagr threw in.

“Oh Norns, his magic! I’m sure my ears have bled on more than one occasion from the children’s excited screams when they learn the prince is there and willing to show off his magic to them. More than a number of adults enjoy watching him as well.”

“Prince Loki doesn’t speak to us as though he is better than we are; he speaks to us as equals. My daughter was having a hard time learning to read and on one of his visits, the prince spent several hours with her one-on-one tutoring her. By the end of the day, she was able to read one of the children’s books all on her own. It was amazing to watch.”

“You do not view Loki in a negative light because he is not a ‘proper’ warrior?” Frigga asked.

Both of the man scoffed. “What is a ‘proper’ warrior?” Absalom asked. “Any _true_ warrior will tell you there is no such thing as a fair fight in a real battle. The prince’s magic is an extension of himself and to waste that talent, to hold it back during a fight, would be to handicap him.”

“The nobility has an image to maintain,” Dagr added, “us lowly foot soldiers do not adhere to such a standard outside of the training yard but that is only due to the training masters.”

“Thank you for telling me this,” Frigga said.

They continued on until the spell led them to the mouth of a large cave. Dagr took point while Absalom was at the rear and Frigga kept between them. They only made it a few steps into the cave before they were met with a patrol of Jötnar.

The warriors on both sides watched one another until Frigga stepped forward and lowered her hood. “I am Frigga, Queen of Asgard,” she announced.

“Stand down, all of you,” a female voice from the back of the cavern ordered.

Frigga turned her eyes to the owner of the voice and although the woman was in her natural Jötunn form, Frigga recognized her mother-in-law immediately. “Mother.” Several of the Jötnar soldier’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Daughter,” Bestla replied. “Whatever are you doing here?”

“You and I need to have a long discussion,” Frigga replied, stepping forward, “about Cul.”

Bestla’s expression hardened, “I have already told Thor, I will not help to kill my son.”

Frigga drew herself up, not just as a queen but as a mother, “You don’t have a choice Bestla, because if you don’t help me it won’t just be Loki who suffers. Odin will die too along with every one of your grandchildren. Please ask yourself, is Cul truly worth such a sacrifice?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist Tony's Shakespeare in the park thing.


	19. Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Hela continue to traverse his memories, Frigga demands answers, and Thor's just trying to figure out what to do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all. I swear this thing is taking turns I hadn't been expecting at all. It's done that a number of times and just when I think I might be able to see the finish line the characters decide to take another detour. I give.
> 
> Question for everyone, since it appears that A03 is still having issues with sending out the notification emails, would everyone prefer if I update on a specific day (most likely Saturdays) so everyone will know it's there or should I just keep what I'm doing and update once a chapter is complete regardless of the day and everyone basically check for updates manually?
> 
> I've taken a bit of creative liberty where languages are concerned. You'll see what I mean in a bit. Also, in one memory little Thor and Loki are equivalent to four and two.

**_Nineteen_ **

Loki followed Hela as they traversed his subconscious. Loki had become silent after the memory she had shown him faded. He would occasionally chuckle when the image of toddler Thor’s surprised face came to mind. The memory itself had been so… pure.

Occasionally Loki would spot other images, things he had forgotten as the years had passed. So far, much of what his subconscious was putting on display were innocent memories, things he would have been far too young to remember on his own but he knew that eventually they would enter far darker memories.

Hela had said that to find where Cul had rooted himself, Loki would need to face his worst memory. There had been so many recently that Loki wasn’t even sure where he would even need to begin. Thinks for Loki had begun to turn sour around the time Loki began his combat training. It was then Loki realized he was different from his peers, as he preferred books and learning as opposed to beating each other senseless for fun.

Loki could still recall the jeers he’d received when it had also become obvious that Loki could not fight with only brute strength. Even before he’d begun to weave his seiðr into his fighting style, his analysis of his opponent then the exploitation of whatever weakness he found was considered dishonorable fighting. According to the Masters, only brute force would do.

The dark cloud that was Cul still lurked behind them. At one point, Loki had gone still at the scream of absolute rage they’d heard emanate from the darkness. Loki’s whole body went stiff when he heard his brother call, _“I won’t let him take you without a fight. I will find a way to save you.”_

“Thor!”

Hela turned to him, “What do you hear?”

“I—” Loki’s throat closed when every muscle in his body locked up. He heard Cul’s scream again and, fleetingly, Loki saw himself prone on the ground, Thor lying before him with blood dripping from a blow to the head and a man encased in metal beside his brother. Loki had tried to reach out to Thor but, unlike the last times he’d managed to surface, he didn’t have control of his body. All too soon, Loki found himself once again buried under Cul’s spirit.

Loki let out his own inarticulate cry of rage when his vision returned to the darkness that was his subconscious. He glared up at Hela. “Thor’s alive.”

She nodded, “Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? Cul showed me stabbing my brother in the heart! You could have _told_ me he’d survived!”

“I could have,” she conceded.

“Why didn’t you?”

“What good would it have done? That knowledge would do you no good here.”

“I thought Cul had used me to kill my brother, _our_ brother. I wouldn’t have felt the guilt I’ve carried since he showed me.”

“Would you have?” Hela asked. “You are already blaming yourself for the actions he is using your body to do.”

“It… I would have felt better knowing I didn’t kill him.”

“Then I’m sorry I withheld it from you.”

Loki was honestly surprised at her apology. Most tended to brush off any actions that caused him pain as insignificant. To have her not devalue his feelings was refreshing.

“We should keep going,” Loki said.

Hela didn’t argue with him. “What did you hear?” she asked again.

“Thor,” Loki replied. “He said he wouldn’t let Cul have me without a fight, that he’d find some way to save me.”

“He truly does care for you.”

“I know,” Loki said as they continued through the emptiness. “I think I’ve always known that deep down but I couldn’t help but question it when he would do or say things that hurt me.”

_Know your place brother._

Thor had been angry then and his brother had apologized for those words. Thor had been sincere in his apology, which had helped to heal Loki’s wounded heart.

Loki decided to focus on the task at hand. “You said I would need to face my most painful memories in order to find where Cul has rooted himself. All we’ve seen since you showed me my earliest memory, besides little snippets here and there, is this darkness. How am I supposed to find the memory Cul has attached himself to? I have… more than one painful memory, unfortunately.”

“I doubt it will be the memory you expect to be most obvious,” Hela commented.

“That would be too easy,” Loki replied with a roll of his eyes. As if to offer some comfort, Fenris nosed at his shoulder. It did help a little. Gathering his nerves, Loki began walking. He didn’t look to see if the others were following after him, he knew they were. He took solace in the fact that whatever he had to face, he wouldn’t be facing it alone.

* * *

Bestla led Frigga, Dagr and Absalom further into the cave network where Jötnar of every size were working to make the caves secure. They drew attention as they passed but Frigga paid them no heed, her focus was on what she and Bestla were to discuss. She had a feeling the conversation she was about to have with Bestla was not going to be between two mothers, but two queens.

Once they had entered an area where they would have some semblance of privacy, Frigga faced her mother in law. This was the first time she had ever seen the woman in her natural form but Frigga thought she saw some similarities between Bestla and Loki.

“I am pleased to see you well daughter,” Bestla said pleasantly.

“But I am not well,” Frigga replied, folding her arms across her chest. “I am most ill indeed for you see, my son has been taken by an evil force and I fear he may perish because of it.”

“That is quite disheartening indeed.”

Frigga and Bestla stared at one another for a few silent moments before Frigga said, “You know the method that was used to banish Cul the last time. I want to know the spell so I can save Loki.”

“I cannot help you.”

“I told you before; you do not have a choice. I will not let Loki be another of Cul’s casualties. How many more of our family does he have to kill before you come to your senses?”

“Cul is my son.”

“And Loki is mine!” Frigga cried then forced her voice to lower. “Cul died long ago Bestla. That his spirit has lingered here for so long is unnatural. There is nothing more that can be done to help him.”

“Were you in my position, you would not be so quick to help either.”

“Were I in your position, I would not want my son’s life to be bought with the blood of another’s.”

Bestla looked away and let out a breath. “I am not so willing to give up on him. Cul is my first born son, daughter—”

“So all others are expendable? What of your other sons? He murdered Vili and Vé, he plans to murder Odin, do they mean so little to you?”

“Cul will not harm his brother.”

“Who are you trying to convince because it certainly isn’t me?

Bestla’s gaze returned to meet Frigga’s. “Vili and Vé were accidents.”

Frigga stared at her in disbelief. “Accidents?” she repeated incredulously. “His murdering his younger brothers were _accidents_? His attempted murder of his twin sister was an _accident_? Bestla, if you truly believe that then you are completely delusional.”

Bestla’s expression twisted with anger, “You have no idea what you are talking about. No idea what you are even asking of me.”

“I’m asking you to help me save my family, _your_ family. How can you put Cul before everyone else?” Frigga paused as a different thought occurred to her. “You want to save Cul to assuage your own guilt.”

Bestla stiffened, affirming Frigga’s words. “I told you, I want to save Cul because he is my son and I refuse to give up on him.”

“How do you plan to save him?” Frigga gestured to the caves around them. “You certainly will not be doing anything from here or do you plan to ‘save’ him from afar?”

Bestla turned angered ruby eyes on Frigga, “You should leave daughter, we’ve nothing more to discuss.”

Like Hel! “I’m not finished,” Frigga growled. She turned the conversation to what had caused Bestla to stiffen. “Your refusal to help stop Cul _is_ all about _your_ guilt. You and Bor failed to stop Cul from murdering his own brothers because you were too blind, or too willfully ignorant, to Cul’s darkness. In this family alone, Cul has killed Vili and Vé, tried to kill Farbauti, _killed_ Hela, plans to kill Odin, has tried to kill Thor and _will_ kill Loki if we don’t banish him. I refuse to let _your_ Cul murder _my_ Loki!”

“Loki?” A new voice asked, “Loki the Runt? Loki the Abomination, Destroyer of Worlds?”

Frigga turned her gaze to see a younger giantess come to stand behind Bestla and Frigga instantly knew the woman was Farbauti, Loki’s birth mother. “You have no right to say such things about my son.”

Farbauti’s gaze met Frigga’s. “Loki is not your son.”

“He certainly isn’t _yours,_ ” Frigga retorted. “You may have given birth to him but you are not his mother. Loki suckled at _my_ breast, cried on _my_ shoulder, laughed at _my_ knee. _I_ am his mother and you… you do not deserve the honor of such a title. No woman who throws away a child she carried over rumors and lies should _ever_ be called ‘mother’.”

“You know nothing of me,” Farbauti argued. “You have no idea of what I have suffered because of Loki nor of the stigma and dishonor I faced for giving birth to a runt.”

Frigga scoffed. “Anything you _may_ have suffered is your own doing, not Loki’s. I know for a _fact_ neither of your parents taught you the barbaric practice concerning runts. Your own brothers would be considered runts and yet you cared for them, did you not?”

“My brothers are Æsir.”

Frigga had to fight the urge to throttle both women. “And you aren’t? Loki was born small in part due to the Æsir traits he inherited from you. If you had worried more about your _child_ and not your _image_ you would have seen what a blessing Loki is.” She took a breath, “I suppose I should thank you for if you hadn’t been so self-centered I never would have had the honor and privilege of calling Loki _my_ son.”

Farbauti stepped around her mother, her body shaking with rage. “Loki has ruined more than just my life,” Farbauti said. “ _He_ is the reason Jötunheim has suffered and is currently suffering, the reason why our village has fled to the mountains. He is the reason I lost my husband, he’s bespelled my youngest son and if Loki does not _die_ then he will destroy _all_ of Yggdrasil!”

Bestla gripped her daughter’s arms, “Please Farbauti, you do not need to concern yourself with this unpleasantness.”

Farbauti shrugged off her mother’s hands, moving to loom over Frigga. Frigga heard Absalom and Dagr move to guard her from the giantess. Frigga motioned for them to stand down. She had no fear of Farbauti.

“I would have choked the life from him myself if I had thought he would survive. I placed him in the temple expecting the Æsir soldiers to slaughter him.” Farbauti grinned, the expression only making her appear more unhinged. “I’d hoped the Æsir would tear him apart. Would that they had ripped the little bastard to pieces!”

“No Æsir warrior would _ever_ slaughter an innocent babe,” yelled Absalom, “regardless of what race he was born to!”

Absalom’s interjection was the only thing that prevented Frigga from launching herself at Farbauti and beating the woman to within an inch of her life. Even now, Frigga was still sorely tempted to do so.

“My Loki,” Frigga said with a calm she did not feel, “is a better person than _you_ will ever be. He would never try to murder his own child for something he has absolutely _no_ control over.”

“You speak as though he was born innocent.”

“ _All_ children are born innocent.”

“Not Loptr, or ‘Loki’ as you have named him. The whole purpose of his life is to cause the total destruction of Yggdrasil. He is destined to bring about Ragnarök and while I had hoped the prophecy was wrong, I knew as soon as I pushed him from my body that _everything_ was true.”

“If Loki is to be the trigger of Ragnarök, it will be through no action of his own. _Your_ twin is currently possessing him. It is Cul who may bring Ragnarök, not Loki.”

Farbauti’s expression of anger suddenly turned to confusion, “Cul? Cul is alive?” She shook her head, “No, Cul is dead.”

“His body is gone but his spirit has taken Loki’s body for his own.”

Farbauti shook her head more vigorously, “No, no… it is Loptr, it has always been Loptr. He tried to kill me, he is the reason why I am the way I am now.”

That made no sense, “What are you talking about?”

“She’s speaking about when Laufey poisoned her,” Bestla said with a sigh.

“My husband did not poison me!” Farbauti yelled. “It was Loptr!”

“How? Loki didn’t even know he was Jötunn, let alone that you are his birth mother until a short time ago,” Frigga said.

“Of course he knew,” argued Farbauti. “He had to have known.”

“We never told him,” Frigga replied. “We feared for his safety should it ever become known. It was only by accident that he learned the truth.”

“Then how did he come to be here? How did he find our village?”

“That was my doing,” Bestla said. “Loki was ill when he was sent to Jötunheim for execution but I couldn’t let Laufey’s court kill him.”

“You brought him here?”

“Yes, he is still my grandson.”

“But he… he’s the reason for Cul… for Vili and Vé…”

Frigga began to wonder about Farbauti’s mind, as the things she was saying made no sense. “Loki wasn’t yet born when the twins died or when Cul was first banished.”

“Cul wasn’t banished, he was…” suddenly she spun to face her mother, “you and father had Cul executed!”

“We had no other choice. After what he did to you and the twins—”

“Cul was my twin!”

“Cul’s spirit has survived through arcane means,” Frigga said, hoping to quell any argument between the two other women. She didn’t have time for them to quarrel. “The prophecy of Ragnarök you were told was spread by Mimir and twisted by him to make it seem as though it was Loki who would be the cause. They are the ones who are attacking the different Realms and will tear everything down if they are not stopped. Odin, my husband and your brother, is being held in Asgard’s dungeon on Cul’s order. Cul plans to execute him once he has destroyed everything Odin has built.”

“Odin? Cul plans to kill Odin?”

Frigga nodded, “Yes.”

“Cul has taken possession of Loptr and is using him to wreak havoc across Yggdrasil? It is not _truly_ Loptr?”

“His name is Loki but, yes, it is Cul performing those deeds, not Loki.”

Farbauti turned hard eyes to her mother. “Tell Frigga what she wants to know.”

* * *

Cul’s head pounded and his body still ached with the lingering effects of whatever it was that had incapacitated him in the first place. Somehow, the metal encased Midgardian had overpowered Cul. The Midgardian would pay with his life for the humiliation.

“Welcome back to the land of the conscious,” Mimir said.

Cul cracked an eye to glare at his partner. “What happened?”

“Before or after I saved your hide?”

“Mimir,” Cul warned.

Mimir sighed, “After you clubbed Thor in the head, the armored Midgardian struck you with some sort of electrical device which caused your muscles to seize. A Midgardian military force arrived to help them and Heimdall did not answer the call to open the Bifröst. I felt it prudent for us to retreat for the time being.”

“Please tell me I killed the oaf this time.”

“He was still breathing when we escaped but you can always hope he’s died from the injury. However, given how hard Thor’s head is, I wouldn’t count on it.”

Cul knew he would not be so lucky. He finally took a moment to take in their surroundings. Light filtered in from windows mostly covered by wood, the walls were yellowed with age and peeling and there was a generous amount of dust on the hardwood floor. The cot Cul was laying on was not in the best of conditions either. “Where are we?”

Mimir shrugged, “Some abandoned house. I had no desire to drag your dead weight any longer than I needed to.”

“We’re _squatting!_ ” Cul exclaimed.

“Only until you awoke,” Mimir said with a shrug. “Face it; this is not the worst place you’ve ever had to take refuge.”

While that may be true, Cul still didn’t like it. He stood and brushed off his clothes. “The Midgardians took down our forces, I take it.”

“The dead ones were destroyed,” Mimir replied with a nod, “and the living Einherjar were taken prisoner.”

“Shame,” Cul said, “but we cannot let this slight stand. We will return to Asgard and gather more troops then return here and burn Midgard to the ground.”

“Slight problem with that,” Mimir said, to which Cul raised an eyebrow. “Without Heimdall answering our summons, we have no way to return to Asgard.”

“That Heimdall has abandoned his post is only a slight inconvenience. I will post a new watchman upon our return, one who will not dare disobey a summon from me. As for _how_ we return to Asgard, interesting thing about my nephew, he can world walk.”

“And I’m to take it you have taken this knowledge from him?”

“You know I have full access to his knowledge and memories.”

“Access is one thing, understanding is another.”

“Do you have a better idea?”

Cul was pleased when Mimir admitted he did not. “You put us in the ether, you better damn well be sure to get us back out. I like this body and have no desire to have to find another,” groused Mimir.

Cul held out his hand, “to Asgard then.” Mimir took it and they vanished.

* * *

Thor found himself grateful for the hard head his brother was always teasing him about. Once again, he wanted nothing more than to have his brother by his side. He could have sworn he’d seen his brother emerge even if it was for only a brief moment. Thor refused to believe Cul had been in control the whole time. Loki was not some weakling but… even if they had managed to capture him; Thor had absolutely _no_ idea how to force Cul from Loki’s body.

Thor wandered into a large living area where Stark, Lady Jane, and the rest of Thor’s companions along with another man and woman he didn’t recognize sat speaking in low tones. Helblindi was curled up at his brother’s feet and Thor could see the sadness and worry on the young Jötunn’s face.

Helblindi’s head shot up when his eyes fell on Thor. “Thor!” Helblindi cried, shooting to his feet. “You’re up.”

Thor had to brace himself to keep from falling over when Helblindi practically tackled him in a hug.

“Easy there kiddo,” Stark said, “Raiden’s still getting over that concussion.”

Helblindi pulled back, his face stricken, “Did I hurt you?”

“You didn’t,” Thor was quick to reassure. At least Helblindi had put his pendant back on so he wasn’t towering over Thor while he tried to hug him. He gently knocked on his head, “Don’t worry, Loki is constantly reminding me I have a thick skull.”

“Thick skull or not, that was still quite a hit,” Stark said.

Thor wasn’t going to argue that. “Has anything changed since then?”

“With the demon and the prophet? Not a peep although SHIELD and JARVIS are still keeping a look out.”

“With the help of Stark’s technology, Lady Jane and I have found a few possible natural portals but we have no way of knowing where they would lead us,” Býleistr said.

“And Cul still has Loki,” Helblindi said sadly.

Thor wrapped an arm around the boy. “I promised you that I would find a way to rescue our brother. We’ve had a,” he held up his other hand with two of the fingers held close together, “minor setback, but I’m not about to give up.”

“Jay did manage to hack SHIELD’s databases and is going through the data for anything on the Tesseract,” Stark added. “So not completely where we started.”

“One of these days,” the unknown woman said with a good amount of frustration in her voice, “Fury is going to find some way to stop you from doing that.”

“He can try,” Stark sing-songed. “Oh,” he gestured to the man and woman, “Thor these are Happy and Pepper. Guys meet,” now Stark deepened his voice and said dramatically, “Thor, the God of Thunder.”

The woman, Pepper, stepped around the couch Stark was sitting on with a roll of her eyes and held a hand out to Thor, “Pleased to meet you.”

“You as well,” Thor replied, grasping her hand though not entirely sure if he should shake it or kiss it.

Lady Pepper made the decision for him and shook his hand. “We will help you in any way we can.”

“Thank you.” He followed her to where the others were seated. “I’m not quite sure what to do now,” he admitted, taking a seat next to Lady Jane.

“I’ve been wondering about something,” Býleistr said. “Even if we do manage to capture Cul, how are we supposed to expel him from Loki’s body?”

“The _Rituale Romanum_?” asked Stark.

“The what?”

“Tony,” Lady Pepper sighed.

“No, wait, hear me out. I was only half making a _Supernatural_ reference but the _Rituale Romanum_ is an actual incantation used by the Catholic Church for exorcisms. If Cul does somehow fall under the category of ‘demon’, could it work?”

“There Midgardians versed in seiðr?” Býleistr asked.

“That’s what you guys call ‘magic’ right?” Stark asked. He gave a half shrug. “That I can’t say. I mean, we have ‘magicians’ but they’re more sleight-of-hand and misdirection, not actual magic.”

Thor wished, once again, that he’d paid attention to Loki when his brother had tried to explain the intricacies of his seiðr to Thor. He also wished his mother were there, she would know if the spell Stark was speaking of would work.

“What is needed to perform the spell?” Volstagg asked.

“I guess it depends on your flavor of religion,” Stark answered. “In Christianity in general there’s probably Holy Water along with a Cross and other various religious icons.” He pulled out a small device from his pocket and began poking at it. “Even the prayer that’s used isn’t necessarily the same each time. As for the ‘spell’ I’m talking about, this is it.” Stark held out the device and a voice began to emanate from it.

_“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus omnis satanica potestas, omnicis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica…”_

“That sounds almost like a derivative of an ancient Asgardian dialect,” Fandral said.

“It’s Latin,” Stark said, stopping the audio, “but I wouldn’t be surprised if there was some carry over between languages. Latin based and Germanic based languages do share some similarities.”

“It’s a shame the Queen isn’t here,” Volstagg said, echoing Thor’s earlier thought.

Thor nodded in agreement. “She would know if such an incantation would work.”

“We’ll stick it on the back burner as a ‘maybe’,” Stark said. He turned to Thor, “You said you wanted to speak to the soldiers SHIELD took captive.”

“Yes,” Thor said, “I want to try and find just how far Cul’s influence over them has spread.”

“Right, oh!” Stark exclaimed suddenly, “that reminds me. You all mentioned a guy named Mimir a couple of times and it got me thinking. Have any of you heard of Mimir’s head?”

Thor and the others all shook their heads. “No.”

“Okay, so, according to our Norse Mythology, Mimir was an Ǽsir who was sent to Vanaheim at the end of the Ǽsir-Vanir War as a kind of hostage during negotiations. Apparently the Vanir didn’t like the guy giving their leader good advice so they beheaded him _but_ , and here’s the interesting part, it didn’t kill him.” Stark did something on the device he’d used previously and his eyes moved as though he was reading something. “It’s said that Odin used some kind of magical embalming method to keep the head from decaying and also allow for it to speak again. It also says that Odin keeps the head with him and that the head would tell Odin of the future and various other prophecies.”

“That’s about as ridiculous as the tale you have about Loki giving birth to Sleipnir,” Thor said. “My father doesn’t have a talking head.”

Stark’s lips turned up slightly. “I have to admit, I kinda wondered about the horse thing.” He bit his lower lip now and his eyes sparkled with mirth, “What about the wedding, any truth to that?”

Thor tipped his head back with a groan. “Loki’s never letting me live that down.”

“Holy shit, that actually happened!” Stark guffawed. “Now I _have_ to meet your brother because that,” Stark had to wipe away the tears of laughter that had formed in his eyes, “that is hilarious.” Stark’s laughter subsided after a few moments, “Anyway, what I was getting at before is that Mimir apparently gave Odin the prophecy surrounding Ragnarök and how Loki would be the one to trigger it. The way the mythos reads, basically it ends up being self-fulling as everything Odin does to prevent it ends up triggering it instead.”

“How does this information help us in stopping them?” Lady Jane asked.

Stark shrugged, “Honestly, no clue, but it might give us an idea of what they’re trying to do.”

“Which is?”

“What if there is no rhyme or reason to what they’re doing. Mimir said he wants revenge against Thor’s great-granddad because, apparently, the getting his head cut off thing is true. What if this isn’t so much about _world domination_ as it is _world destruction_? Revenge could be nothing more than just a front.”

Thor wasn’t so sure, “Cul told me he was doing this because he feels it’s his birthright to rule all of Yggdrasil.”

“But what about Mimir?” Stark asked. “Maybe he and Cul don’t actually see eye-to-eye on that one. Cul may want to rule the galaxy but if Mimir really does want to trigger Ragnarök then, according to the mythos at least, that’s the end of everything.”

“Why would he do that?” Volstagg asked.

Stark shrugged, “Some men just want to watch the world burn.”

* * *

Loki watched as his younger self trailed behind a younger Thor as his brother dragged him down the darkened corridor. This must have been another memory of his soul, as he knew he was much too young to have remembered the events he was watching.

His younger self had the hand that wasn’t held by Thor covering his mouth. Thor suddenly turned and the two children ducked behind a large column. Loki heard his younger self snicker and Thor try to hush him. Loki turned when he heard a heavier set of footsteps make their way down the corridor.

Loki spotted his father making his way down the hall, his dress a simple tunic and breeches while his single eye scanned the area. Odin stopped in the middle of the hallway and placed his hands on his hips. His father hummed softly then continued slowly down the corridor.

Once Odin had passed the column the children were hiding behind, Thor poked his head out to see if the coast was clear. He motioned to Loki and the two carefully tip toed out from their hiding place.

They didn’t get far before younger Loki was caught up in his father’s arms. He shrieked, part laughter, part fear and cried, “‘F’or, ‘elp!”

Thor rushed his father, kicking at his shins and beating at his waist, “Unhand my bro’fir!”

“Your brother huh?” Odin said, throwing the wiggling Loki over his shoulder.

Thor stepped back, placing his own small hands on his tiny waist. In as serious a tone as a child his age could, Thor said, “Yes, he is my brother Loki, Son of Odin.”

“Oh, a son of Odin huh. I have an even greater prize then.”

Younger Loki beat his tiny fists against his father’s back. “My bro’dir will beat you,” the young Loki declared. “He’s a son of Odie too and he’s the strongest ever!”

Loki resisted the urge to smack Hela when she began to snicker at his side. Instead, he cocked an eyebrow at her, “Something to say, have you?”

Hela shook her head but he could see the laugher in her one visible eye. “No, just thinking of my own childhood. Father used to play this game with me as well.”

“I don’t really remember this.”

Hela gestured to the display, “Look at how young you were. I would be more surprised if you did remember this.”

Loki turned back to the memory where his father now lay on the floor with both boys sitting on him in triumph. With a roar his father rose, one of the boys slung over each shoulder. “Victory is mine!” Odin declared. “Do you surrender?”

“Never!” the boys yelled.

“Then to my lair,” Odin loped down the hallway towards the royal family’s private chambers.

Loki, Hela and Fenris followed through the memory where, once inside their chambers, his father set the boys down and they proceeded to continue their rough housing. When Odin began to tickle the young Loki, Thor jumped on his father’s back to try to save his brother. Odin, not to be deterred, reached back with one hand to tickle Thor too. Thor slid to the floor, shrieking with laughter as well.

“Should we keep moving?” Hela asked.

Loki allowed himself another moment to watch the figures playing then nodded, “As much as I don’t want to, yes.”

Abruptly the laughter broke off with a choking sound. They turned back to see, instead of the play from before, the young Thor staring up from the floor with dead eyes while the young Loki was grasping at the hand that was wrapped around his neck. Odin turned and as he did so his form changed to the man Loki had seen back when he’d been trapped in the cell. Loki stepped back as Fenris began to growl.

Cul grinned up at him from beneath long, lanky hair, “Found you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was looking up the name of the exorcism that's used in _Supernatural_ for Tony's quip I saw that apparently the _Rituale Romanum_ that's used in the show is an actual exorcism incantation. To hear what it sounds like in the show (if you've never watched it) you can find a clip [here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sau1VHBIk-0)


	20. Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor speaks with some of the prisoners, Loki runs for his life and Frigga plays musical Realm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I love writing Tony. Have I mentioned I love writing Tony? I can't _wait_ for when he and Loki finally meet. It's not this chapter though so... sorry, but I do think I've figured out exactly how it's going to happen. Thor and Býleistr are screwed.

**_Twenty_ **

Thor followed Stark down a brightly lit corridor. Guards were posted in intervals along the hallway, each brandishing a weapon just in case any of the prisoners tried to make an escape. While Thor did not have a complete understanding of how the weapons worked, they were a projectile weapon of some kind; he did not doubt their deadliness.

As they made their way down the hallway, Thor would peek inside the rooms they passed. The Einherjar had been relieved of their armor and weapons and were currently sporting a bright orange, single piece, garment. Many of them appeared more confused than anything and it gave Thor hope that with Cul gone, his influence over the warriors had ebbed some.

Stark finally stopped at a room towards the end of the hallway where a dark skinned man wearing an eye patch was waiting for them. The man looked quite surly and Thor had the insane urge to laugh, which he managed to valiantly repress.

“So this is the God of Thunder,” the man said with a dry tone.

“Hey Fury,” Stark said, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “How’s it going? Long time, no see. Saw you managed to get your Dream Team together. How’s Natalie doing, or is it Natasha? I don’t know what name she’s going by now.”

Fury ignored Stark and turned his attention fully to Thor. “So these people,” he made a vague gesture to the many cells, “they’re yours. Care to explain what the psychopath is after and how we kill him?”

“I won’t let you kill my brother,” Thor said.

“ _Your_ brother invaded _our_ world and ordered that we all bow down to him as though he’s some sort of god. We don’t take that kind of threat lying down.”

Thor did not want to have to explain, _again_ , what Cul had done to Loki. He did not have a choice, unfortunately. “My brother is being possessed by my uncle. Cul is controlling Loki’s body and actions but I know my brother is still alive even if he is trapped inside his own body. We need to find a way to capture him and then find a way to pull Cul from Loki without killing my brother.”

“Possession?” Fury asked, skepticism clear in his voice. “You expect me to believe in possession?”

“Why not?” Stark asked. “We’ve already had zombies beam down from the _Starship Enterprise_ , so why not possession?” Stark gestured to Thor. “The guy even has a magic hammer.”

Thor pulled Mjölnir from his belt and held her up so they could watch lightning dance across the hammerhead.

“Is that supposed to impress me?” Fury asked.

Thor flipped her over and held the handle out to Fury. “Try it.”

Fury took the handle and as soon as Thor let go, toppled over as Mjölnir dropped to the ground, too heavy for Fury to wield. Fury tried to pull her from the ground a few times before giving up.

“Huh,” Stark said, “magic hammer. Wait, if you’re the only one who can lift it then how did—”

Thor cut Stark off, “Mjölnir hadn’t been enchanted at the time. Anyone could lift her when… _that_ happened.”

“I still want the juicy details from Loki when this is over.”

Thor reclaimed Mjölnir. “Have you spoken with any of the warriors?” he asked Fury.

“Tried to,” Fury replied, surreptitiously rolling his now aching shoulder. “They won’t say much of anything.”

“Did you notice if they had a mark just below their left ear? An oroborus?”

“The medics thought it was some kind of tribal tattoo.”

“They all have one?”

“From what I’ve been told, yes.”

“Is that how Cul’s controlling them?” Stark asked.

“I’m not sure,” Thor said. “Loki has the same marking but it’s a very intricate design. Two of my friends that he’s… controlling? Influencing?” Thor shook his head. “Anyway, their marks weren’t quite so detailed. They were almost blurred along the edges.”

“The medics mentioned the markings looked like really old tattoos,” Fury replied.

“What does that mean?” asked Stark.

“I’m not sure,” Thor said, “but it could mean Cul’s hold on them might be weakening.” It also begged the question that if distance lessened Cul’s hold, then why had Sif and Hogun still been affected on Jötunheim?

It was a question he would have to ponder at another time. However, if they could somehow free the soldiers, then perhaps whatever solution they came up with would work on his friends. That thought gave Thor a bit of hope.

“How many of the Einherjar do you have in custody?” Thor asked Fury.

“Here, about a hundred, but there are more being held elsewhere,” Fury replied.

“Have any of them said anything or given you their names?”

“They haven’t said anything beyond how we belong under Asgard rule.”

Thor pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling his head beginning to ache again. “Cul isn’t necessarily wrong in that Asgard has neglected Midgard over the centuries but the last time Asgard played a significant part in Midgard’s affairs was during the Asgard-Jötunheim War.”

“How long ago was that?”

“A little over a thousand years ago.”

“What was your part in all of that, or his for that matter?”

“Nothing,” Thor said, “I was just a toddler and Loki was born on the last day of the war.”

“Wait,” interjected Stark, “you’re over a thousand years old?”

“Conversation for another time,” Fury said, his tone brokering no argument. He turned his attention back to Thor. “If you think you can get them to talk, go for it. We’ll be monitoring from another room.”

Fury left them and Thor waited while Stark opened the cell door, allowing them inside. The two Einherjar within the cell weren’t anyone Thor recognized, there were so many warriors after all, it would be impossible for Thor to know them all. However, they did not appear to be seasoned warriors.

“What are your names?” Thor asked them once the door had closed.

“Prince Thor,” the one to his left said with surprise clear in his voice.

Both men dropped to one knee, fists pressed against their hearts. That had not quite been the reaction Thor was expecting. “Stand,” Thor said which they did. “What are your names?” he asked again.

“I am Leif,” the first man said.

“And I am Cadman,” the second man said.

Neither man had met Thor’s eyes as they spoke. Thor took a step closer, “Why have you allied yourself with Cul?”

The two men shared confused glances, “Cul?” Leif asked.

“Our orders came from Prince Loki,” Cadman added.

Thor pressed his lips together to keep himself from snapping at them. “Those orders did not come from my brother,” Thor said in a much calmer tone than he felt. “Tell me the exact nature of the orders you were given.”

Again, the two men shared looks. “You do not know?”

Thor folded his arms across his chest. “Pretend I don’t.”

Leif opened his mouth to speak, then paused. His expression turned even more confused before he turned to Cadman and asked, “Do you remember what our orders were?”

Cadman’s own expression became confused. “No. All… all I remember is suddenly being angry and fearful and then we were here. Why did we attack Midgard?”

Leif shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“Could you two do something real quick?” Stark asked. “Let us see the skin behind your left ears?”

Their gazes turned suspicious, “Why?”

“Do as he says,” Thor ordered, “no harm will come to you.”

Both men pushed back the hair covering their necks to expose the skin behind their left ear. Stark stepped closer, as did Thor. Stark took out the device he’d used before and did something with it although Thor didn’t know what. Thor studied the area on each warrior but to him, the mark was so blurred that it was impossible to identify. Stark stepped back and so did Thor.

Stark frowned as he studied his device. “The marks look like a nasty bruise,” he said, “nothing like the oroborus you described.”

“Is Cul’s influence waning?” Thor asked.

“Hey, I’m new to this otherworldly magic stuff,” Stark said with a shrug, “but maybe.” He put the device in his back pocket and headed for the door. “Thanks for your cooperation.” Once outside the cell, Stark said, “It’s a shame you don’t know how all of this magic stuff works.”

Thor nodded in agreement. “Loki would most definitely know, or even if he didn’t he would know where to find out. I wish there was some way to contact my mother. Her knowledge would be very helpful right now.”

“Too bad we couldn’t get to Asgard.”

“Or Vanaheim.”

“Why there?”

“The Vanir sorcerers are second to none. The only ones I know who are more proficient in the craft are my mother and Loki. Although now that I think about it, I’m not sure my mother counts.”

“Why not?”

“She’s Vanir.”

Stark shrugged, “I’d still say she counts.”

Thor wouldn’t argue. They went to several different cells and spoke with more of the Einherjar. While a majority of them were still firmly under Cul’s thrall, a surprising number of them were like Leif and Cadman. It gave Thor hope.

They returned to Stark’s tower many hours later. Both men were exhausted but they did relay what they had learned to the others. Stark’s AI had managed to comb through the data it had collected and had located the Tesseract. While Thor wanted to collect the artifact and return to Asgard, he thought it best to remain on Midgard for a few more days on the off chance Cul or Mimir were spotted.

It was as they sat in the living area partaking of a meal that a loud boom and bright light out on the balcony interrupted their conversation. Instantly, everyone leapt to their feet, ready to confront whatever had landed. Three figures, two very tall and one much shorter than the other two, made their way towards them.

With a mixture of surprise and happiness, Thor, Býleistr and Helblindi all exclaimed, “Mother!”

* * *

Loki’s heart froze in fear. He stepped back as Cul rose to tower over them. He had seemed gigantic when Loki had thought himself still a child and that hadn’t changed at all. Matter of fact Cul appeared to currently be _growing!_

Hela stepped in between Loki and Cul. “Run Loki.”

Cul dropped the memory of young Loki, the body hitting the floor with a dull thud. The sound made Loki flinch. Run? He was trapped inside his own mind. Where could he possibly run to?

“Loki!”

“So, you’re the reason his spirit has been so hard to track down,” Cul said. “Hello Hela.”

“Cul,” Hela replied. She did something and Loki watched as her hair turned into a helm that resembled antlers. A vicious looking blade appeared in each hand. When she turned her head slightly, Loki saw her one milky white eye peering out from the helm. “I said _run!_ I’m already dead, _go!_ ”

Loki’s feet moved before he gave the action any conscious thought. He spun on his heel and fled into the darkness. The heavy patter of large paws followed him so he knew Fenris was right behind him. He could hear the clash of swords as Hela and Cul fought.

Around him, more memories began to pop up, stemming from his early childhood all the way to the days before Cul had taken his body. He had no idea how long he ran but he hated himself for doing so. Loki skidded to a halt. He’d abandoned Hela to face Cul all on her own. He looked behind him but he had no way of knowing how to return to where had fled from.

Fenris nosed at him, pushing at him to keep him moving.

Loki gripped the fur along her neck. “We have to go back,” Loki said only to have Fenris grab his arm in her strong jaws. “We can’t leave Hela to face Cul alone.”

Fenris growled and kept moving. With his arm still in her jaws Loki had no choice but to follow.

“Coward!”

Loki turned to where Sif’s voice had echoed out from the darkness. One of the many training grounds within the palace resolved around them and Loki saw himself, much younger, barely into adolescence, turning to glare at the dark haired girl chasing after him.

“I am not a coward,” Memory-Loki said, putting away his practice sword.

Sif stormed towards him, her eyes full of rage. “Then you’re a cheater!”

“I didn’t cheat!”

Sif scoffed, “You never would have beaten me otherwise.”

Loki remembered this encounter; well obviously, it was the first time he’d ever fought Sif on the training grounds. It had also been the first time in months that Loki had even gone. Sif had been so angry when Loki had easily beaten her, finding the rather gaping hole in her defenses and exploiting it.

“You left your right side wide open,” Memory-Loki countered, “I simply took advantage of the weakness.”

“I have no weakness!” Sif exclaimed. She held up her practice sword. “Fight me again and this time, no cheating.”

Memory-Loki sighed. “I didn’t cheat,” he reiterated.

“You used your magic, that’s cheating!”

“Using my seiðr is not cheating. It’s using my skills to my advantage and I didn’t even _need_ to use my magic. A child could have exploited such an obvious opening.”

“A true warrior would _never_ resort to using magic.”

“A true warrior makes use of every ability available to them, especially natural talent,” Memory-Loki countered. “There is no such thing as a fair fight in battle, why should training be any different? You’re just angry that you couldn’t impress my brother. I’m not fighting you again.”

“Coward!” Sif cried once more.

Memory-Loki cocked an eyebrow. “I am not a coward. I simply don’t feel like wasting my time on you.”

Sif’s rage only grew. “You are a coward,” she said with a sneer. “Otherwise you would fight me and fight me fairly. You know you cannot win unless you use your magic to cheat.”

“I’ve already told you, using my seiðr isn’t cheating and this conversation is becoming repetitive.” Memory-Loki turned away from her and started from the hall.

“Fight me!”

“No.”

Sif’s next word came out like a hiss, “Ergi.”

That made Memory-Loki stop in his tracks and Loki’s cheeks flame. This had been the first time he’d ever been called “ergi” to his face. “What did you say?”

“You heard me,” Sif growled. “You are ergi. You who would rather practice sorcery than the art of battle. You are no man; you are a cowardly ergi who would rather use trickery to fight than to do so as a proper warrior. You shame the House of Odin with your seiðr. It is _unnatural_ for a man to practice it therefore you are no man.”

“Then what are you?” Memory-Loki countered, hiding just how much her words had hurt him. Loki recalled not wanting to give Sif the satisfaction. “If you expect me to give up something that comes to me as naturally as breathing then you should give up this foolish idea of becoming a shieldmaiden.” Memory-Loki grinned at her, “How _is_ your needlepoint coming Sif?”

Sif let out an inarticulate cry of rage and charged Memory-Loki. Memory-Loki dodged from her path but was almost too late to evade the dagger she had pulled from her belt. Memory-Loki called forth his own weapons and fought to repel her frenzied attack.

Just as in the practice ring, Sif kept her right side open, which Memory-Loki once again took advantage of. He swiftly disarmed her only to have to suddenly fend off her fists. Memory-Loki took a punch to the jaw and Loki vividly recalled how the blow had stunned him. After that, all bets had been off and two delved into an all-out brawl.

For all her talk of fighting fair, Sif was not beyond biting and scratching at Memory-Loki nor kicking at his head or stomping him when he’d ended up on the ground. Memory-Loki swept Sif’s legs out from under her and she went down hard, her breath leaving her lungs with a harsh _whoosh._

Memory-Loki sprung to his feet, preparing for further attack only to have the doors to the hall open to admit the training master. “What is going on in here?” demand the master.

Sif, just as bruised and bloodied as Memory-Loki, sat up and exclaimed, “He attacked me for no reason!”

“What?” Memory-Loki cried. “That’s not true!”

“Liar!” Sif yelled, rising to her feet. She turned to the master, “He was angry that I called him out for cheating in the training ring for using his magic. He attacked me unprovoked.”

The master’s eyes swept over both of them, taking in their disheveled appearance. He finally turned to Memory-Loki, “You know better to attack a trainee outside of the training ring.”

“I was defending myself,” Memory-Loki replied, “I have a right to do that.”

The master shook his head. “You have already been warned against using your seiðr during a match and now you are attacking trainees as well outside of the ring. Sif is not the first to tell of your uncontrolled temper. This has happened far too often. I will be speaking to your father about this. Until you can learn to control your outbursts, you are no longer allowed within the training grounds.” The master turned, never once seeing Sif’s look of smug satisfaction.

Fenris whined as the memory faded and Loki kept his gaze firmly on the ground. He had been bullied before but this was the first in a long line of torment Sif and eventually the rest of the warriors would deliver upon him.

The cry of, “coward,” still rang in his ears but what made it even worse was how true it was. He should have stayed and faced Cul with Hela, not fled like some kind of frightened child. Loki peered out into the darkness again, hoping to find some clue as to which direction they had come from.

Fenris pulled on his arm again to get him to keep moving.

“What about your master?” Loki asked as he was dragged along. “She’s fighting Cul all on her own and for what? For me? I’m not worth it.”

Fenris flicked her head, sending Loki crashing to the ground. She loomed over him, growling her displeasure at his words. Loki was unable to even sit up from where she had her muzzle pressed against his chest.

“Fenris,” Loki said gently, “I can’t let anyone else suffer on my account. It was my weakness that allowed Cul in to begin with. _I_ should be facing him, not Hela. I don’t want to be a coward any longer. I want… I want to stop running. I want to _fight._ ”

Fenris’s growling stopped and she stepped back enough to allow Loki to stand. The anger in her eyes was still there though.

“You know how to find where Hela is, don’t you?”

Fenris was still for a moment before, reluctantly, nodding.

“Then we need to get back to her. I know she said that she’s… That’s she’s already dead but what will happen to her spirit should Cul defeat her? Her body is gone but that doesn’t mean Cul can’t kill her soul. It’s what he wants to do with me. If Cul kills her soul she…” Loki suddenly realized _exactly_ what that would mean. “She’ll cease to exist.”

“You should worry less about Hela and more about yourself!”

Loki cried out as he felt something imbed itself in his lower abdomen. He staggered back from the blow while Fenris spun to attack Cul. Loki looked down and saw what looked like a dagger made of blood and bone sticking out of his side. Loki pulled it from his side, unable to keep another cry from passing his lips. One hand pressed to the wound and dagger in the other, Loki flipped the weapon so the blade was in his hand.

“Fenris! Shrink!”

Fenris did as ordered and Loki let the knife fly. His aim was true, the blade imbedding in Cul’s torso. Cul roared in rage.

“We weren’t finished!” Hela yelled, materializing from the darkness to strike out at Cul. Their swords clashed again, sparks flying where the blades met. “Fenris,” Hela called, “get him out of here!”

Fenris swept underneath Loki, growing until he lay across her back then taking off into the darkness. Loki used his light to assess his injury. Black, web-like veins spread out from where the blade had dug itself in. Loki could feel the poison spreading throughout his soul and he had no idea how to counteract it.

“Fenris,” Loki moaned, “stop, please.”

She did not listen; instead she seemed to move faster.

“Fenris,” Loki cried again, “stop!” He shifted until he began to drop down from her back. That finally forced Fenris to halt her run. Loki’s stomach heaved and he vomited up a thick black substance. His body (spirit?) was trying to expel the poison. Loki vomited a few more times.

Fenris circled Loki, whining in concern. Loki breathed deep when he no longer felt like throwing up. He examined the wound again and his stomach rolled at the sight. The green of his seiðr made his hand glow as he attempted to treat the wound. Loki wasn’t sure anything he did would work, since it wasn’t actually his body that had been injured, but he had to try something.

His magic did seem as though it was trying to combat the poison. It gave Loki some hope. He reached up for Fenris, leaning against her large head when she lay beside him.

“Thank you,” he said. “I didn’t think you would want that running down your fur.” With her aid, he stood. He knew in his current state, he would be of no use to Hela, at least, not in fighting Cul hand to hand.

Resolved more than ever, Loki said, “Let’s go find his root and pull it out.”

* * *

Frigga listened intently as Bestla explained the process by which they had banished Cul the last time. While it provided a much better solution in regards to saving Loki, it did not allow for a permanent solution to ridding the Realms of Cul for good. Bestla’s solution would leave open the possibility of Cul’s return in the future. That did not mean Frigga wouldn’t use the spell Bestla was teaching her, it just meant that she would have to come up with a way of destroying Cul afterwards.

She would need to gather the correct crystals. Frigga would also need to find a suitable crystal with which to trap Cul. One of the major differences from the last time Cul was banished is that the last time he’d had his own body. His powers had been bound within his body before his execution. What no one had known at the time was Cul’s contingency plan. They would not be so careless this time.

During Bestla’s explanation, Frigga would glance at Farbauti from time to time. She was not quite sure what to make of Loki’s birth mother. While a part of her hated the woman for what she had done to her son, another part of her felt sorry for Farbauti. Frigga was unsure if she would ever forgive Farbauti for her part in hurting Loki, Frigga had her own guilt to deal with in that department as it was, at least she was willing to help save him. Of course Farbauti’s participation had nothing to do with her desire to save Loki; she was helping only for Odin’s sake. Frigga may have imparted upon her sister-in-law just how much Odin cherished Loki.

When Bestla was finished with her explanation, Farbauti asked, “Are you going to tell her about the others?”

“Others?” Frigga asked, “What others?”

Bestla sighed, “Come with me.”

Frigga followed her mother-in-law to another area within the cavern. The most noticeable difference about the area they entered were the armed guards at the entrance to the alcove. They stepped aside at Bestla’s approach and Frigga was given her first glimpse of just what, or rather who, they guarded.

“Sif? Hogun?”

“Your majesty,” Sif exclaimed upon seeing her. The young woman’s expression darkened and her eyes turned to focus on Bestla. “First you enchant Thor and now our queen. You are _beasts_ and we’ll _rip you apart!_ ”

Frigga knew without having to look that she was under Cul’s influence. Hogun by comparison appeared much calmer. Frigga turned her attention to the Vanir warrior. “What was your purpose here?”

“To wipe their blight from Yggdrasil!” Sif yelled before Hogun could answer.

Frigga made a small gesture with her hand. “I was asking Hogun. You, be silent.” She waited expectantly for Hogun’s answer.

“We were to kill Laufey’s wife and heirs,” Hogun intoned, “along with any who ally with them.”

“And Loki?” Frigga wondered since he is technically one of Laufey’s heirs.

“Loki was to be spared for the time being.”

“Why?”

Hogun shrugged, the chains binding his hands together rattling at the action. “We were not privy to that information.”

Frigga released the hold on Sif’s voice and turned to the woman for verification of Hogun’s words.

“Would that I could have put a blade in his heart myself,” Sif growled.

Frigga took her voice again. She would hear no more of Sif’s hatred. “Is there any way to break the binding Cul has on them?” she asked Bestla.

“We did not try before but it may be possible,” Bestla replied.

“How did you free those he enthralled last time?” Farbauti asked.

“It was his death that freed them.”

Frigga recalled what had happened to Priest Vörnir when Cul’s influence had left him. Of course, Vörnir had been possessed by Cul, not just influenced by him. “Did they survive?”

“Some did but many… well, I’m sure you’ve seen the reanimated Einherjar.”

That did not bode well for anyone who bore Cul’s mark. A good portion of, not just Asgard’s population, but the populations of the other Realms had fallen under Cul’s influence. Would they all perish upon his binding?

Bestla seemed to have realized where Frigga’s thoughts had turned. “Cul’s influence in the past had held for many centuries. Those under his thrall now have a better chance of surviving this time.”

That relieved some of Frigga’s worry. There was still so much that needed to be done. “Thor is on Midgard.”

“Yes, along with Býleistr and Helblindi.”

Right, Farbauti’s children had followed her own son to Midgard. She needed to meet with her eldest, she needed to free her husband from the dungeons and she needed to locate her youngest all while needing to gather the items she required for the spell and also trying to find a way to augment it to destroy Cul without killing Loki.

“I need to go to Midgard and gather Thor. The more warriors we have on our side, the better.”

“I will accompany you.”

“So will I,” Farbauti said. She gestured to Sif and Hogun. “What is to be done about them?”

“They can’t go back to Asgard yet,” Frigga said. “If they should escape they could alert Cul as to our plans.”

“Then they will remain here for the time being,” Bestla said. “You used Bifröst to come here, did you not?”

“I did,” Frigga replied. “Heimdall is awaiting my call.”

“Then let us depart.”

They left the caves and once far enough away from them, called out for Heimdall. The Bifröst first deposited them in Asgard where Absalom and Dagr remained behind. Heimdall then sent the women down to Midgard after discerning Thor’s location. Heimdall imparted upon her the knowledge of a plan to rescue Odin from the dungeon and also of Cul’s return to Asgard. Given they had not appeared in the Observatory, Heimdall and those with him would need to find a safe harbor for a time.

They landed upon the balcony of a tall building with floor to ceiling windows. There were many people inside and they all sprang to their feet, prepared to defend themselves if need be. Frigga couldn’t help but smile at the simultaneous cries of, “Mother!” at their appearance.

Frigga’s heart skipped in her chest when her eyes fell upon the boy standing at Thor’s side. The three of them were quickly ushered inside where she was swiftly pulled into an embrace.

“Mother,” Thor said, “what’s happened in Asgard? Why are…” he gestured to Bestla and Farbauti.

Farbauti, for her part, made for her children after the shock of seeing them with pale skin had worn off. “Býleistr, Helblindi.” She moved to embrace her sons.

Helblindi crossed his arms with a scowl and ducked behind Thor. “I’m not talking to you,” he said to his mother from Thor’s side.

Frigga raised her eyebrows and she shared a look with Thor.

Thor nodded, “I thought the _exact_ same thing.”

“Helblindi,” Farbauti said, hurt clear in her voice.

Helblindi shook his head, “After what you did to Loki I’m not talking to you. I hate you.”

Farbauti reared back as though she had been slapped.

“That’s a bit harsh, don’t you think?” Thor asked the boy.

“No,” Helblindi replied petulantly. “She tried to kill Loki.” He glared at his mother from where he was partially hidden behind Thor. When his eyes turned back to fall upon Frigga they welled with tears. “I’m sorry,” he said to Frigga. “It’s my fault,” he cried. “I wanted Loki to meet mama. I thought she’d be happy to know papa didn’t kill him and… and that he was back but she—” Helblindi’s voice caught in his throat as he began to cry harder. “She tried to kill him. I’m sorry, it’s my fault Loki’s gone. I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

Watching Helblindi’s tears fall was like watching Loki’s, their appearance at that age near identical and Frigga knelt to pull him to her without any thought. “What’s happened to Loki is not your fault little one,” Frigga tried to reassure.

“But I—”

“No,” Frigga placed a finger upon his lips. “What’s happened to Loki is _not_ your fault,” she repeated. “The blame falls upon Cul, no one else.”

“Loki wouldn’t blame you either,” Thor added. “After we save him, he’ll tell you the same thing.”

“You know, like this you look exactly like Loki did when he was your age.”

“I do?” Helblindi asked, wiping his eyes.

“Oh yes, very much so.” That earned her a tentative smile.

“Let’s go sit back down,” Thor suggested. “We have quite a few introductions to go around.”

They made their way to where everyone else had remained. The Midgardian with the neatly trimmed beard said, “Cop a squat though uh, not really sure where we’re going to put the big and tall.”

“You need not worry,” Bestla replied. With a wave of her hand, she and Farbauti shrunk and took on an Æsir form.

“Mother,” Farbauti cried indignantly.

“Would you prefer to stand? Besides we need to blend in if we want to achieve anything.”

While Farbauti was obviously not pleased with the development she had to admit to the truth of her mother’s words. Frigga was a little taken aback at Farbauti with an Æsir visage. Farbauti had the same porcelain skin as Loki, the same vibrant green eyes and even the shape of their face. There was no doubt Loki took after his mother more than his father. The thought made Frigga’s heart twist but she could not explain why.

“What?” Farbauti asked, having caught Frigga staring.

“Nothing,” Frigga replied, taking a seat next to Thor.

Helblindi wiggled his way to sit between them, leaning against Thor, but his eyes watched his mother. Helblindi opened his mouth, closed it again then turned his head so his eyes were pressed against Thor’s arm.

“You seem to have picked up a new little brother,” Frigga commented.

“Keep him,” Býleistr said. “I think I’ll enjoy being an only child.”

Helblindi reached for something to throw at his brother only to have his hand caught by Thor. “He doesn’t mean it.”

“Sure I do,” replied Býleistr though the teasing nature of his tone refuted the truth of his remark.

“That’s okay,” Helblindi said, “I think I’ll like having Thor and Loki as my big brothers. They won’t be as annoying as you.” His demeanor lost its playful aspect, “Aunt Frigga will be a better mother too. _She_ won’t try to kill my brother.”

Farbauti looked away and Frigga saw her blink back tears. An awkwardness fell upon them for some minutes afterwards. Helblindi was clearly still angry at his mother for her more recent attempt on Loki’s life. It enraged Frigga too but they did not have the time for her to give Farbauti a sound thrashing.

She returned her attention to the conversation that had begun around her. Introductions were made and both sides told of the events that had happened since they had last seen one another. Frigga told of how Heimdall and several others were planning to rescue Odin and also of Cul and Mimir’s return to Asgard. Frigga had to admit, learning the Midgardians had the Tesseract in their possession was quite surprising.

“We may need to obtain the Tesseract,” Frigga said once all explanations had ceased. “With Cul back in Asgard, Heimdall will not risk returning Hofund to the Observatory.”

“Without the Observatory functional, Cul will not be able to move his troops around, not unless he requisitions ships,” Thor added.

Frigga agreed. “Ships would take too long to build and I have a feeling he would not want to take the time to do so.”

“You have interstellar ships?” Lady Jane asked.

“Of course they do,” Stark said as though it should have been obvious. “They’re _Space Vikings._ They have to make for the western shore somehow.”

The Lady Pepper just shook her head, though Frigga could detect a hint of fondness in her exasperation. There was definitely something between the two, a courting perhaps? The rest just looked at Stark in confusion.

“Led Zeppelin guys, geeze,” sighed Stark. “Wait, if the doorman, high ball—”

“Heimdall,” Thor corrected.

“Whatever, if he wasn’t answering the door then how did Cul and Mimir get back to Asgard? Or how did you guys get here for that matter?”

“So long as he has Hofund, Heimdall doesn’t necessarily need the Observatory to create a Bifröst bridge,” Frigga explained. “As for Cul, he must have tapped into Loki’s powers.”

“Loki can teleport?”

“Among other things, yes. He is the only one I know of who can world walk.”

Stark turned to Thor. “Dude, every time I learn something new about your brother, he just sounds more and more awesome.”

“Did you say you have a way to free Loki from Cul?” asked Fandral.

“And that Heimdall and those who haven’t fallen under Cul’s influence are going to try to rescue the king?” Volstagg added.

Frigga nodded.

“Great, so six million dollar question,” Stark asked, “where do we go from here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hadn't realized just how much Helblindi blamed himself for what happened to Loki until he met Frigga. That kid needs hugs!
> 
> As for Heimdall and the Bifröst, I kind of took that from Infinity War. He only had Hofund and made it work then so I figure the Observatory is more for if someone else needs to create a Bifröst bridge.


	21. Twenty-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Odin executes a jail break, Cul and Mimir have a domestic while Frigga and Co. make to retrieve the Tesseract. Loki pulls off a bit of a surprise of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, 100K words. When I'd started this story I had not planned on writing one this long and I'm still not done. 
> 
> Also, according to Google Translate sjelegift means "soul poison".

**_Twenty-One_ **

Odin knew something was not right when the lights within the cellblock flickered. His ears began to ring when the pitch of the energy field keeping his cell closed started to rise. It grew to the point where he had to cover his ears for fear of his eardrums bursting. Just as he thought his ears were beginning to bleed, there was a loud _pop_ then all power to the cell vanished.

Ears still ringing, Odin took a moment to allow his eye to adjust to the sudden near darkness. The other cells remained lit, allowing him to gather himself quickly.

Not about to look a gift horse in the mouth, Odin stepped from the cell. A part of him expected this to be a trick of some kind, Cul luring him from the cell so that he could harm him. It both did and did not sound like something his brother would do. Cul kept Odin locked away for a reason though; there would be no point in playing a game of cat and mouse now.

A figure moved in the darkness and Odin wished he had a weapon of some kind. Several more figures moved behind the lead figure and Odin caught the glint of metal in the scant light.

Luckily for Odin, he knew the pathways through the palace like the back of his hand. He need only make his way inside one of them to lose any potential pursuers. He did not get far before a voice reached his ears.

“My king.”

He recognized the voice. Warily he said, “Heimdall?” Heimdall stepped closer to the light. Odin realized the glint of metal he’d spotted earlier was Hofund’s blade.

“We must be swift, my king,” Heimdall said. “The patrols will not be distracted for much longer.”

Still wary but realizing he had little choice, Odin followed Heimdall. “Where are we going?”

“Somewhere safe.”

“And how do I know I can trust you?”

Heimdall stopped and turned, pulling his hair away from his neck and revealing the skin underneath. Though the light was dim, Odin could clearly see the area was unblemished.

So Heimdall wasn’t under Cul’s thrall. “That doesn’t answer my question.”

Heimdall had the gall to seem confused. “I do not understand.”

“You seem to have no qualms about betraying this House when it suits you, especially in regards to Loki. Where do your loyalties lie?”

“With you and Asgard, of course.”

Though the tone of his voice affirmed his belief in his words, Odin found himself unable to completely believe the Watchman. He would keep his guard up. “Any news of Frigga?” he asked, gesturing for Heimdall to lead the way.

“She made for Jötunheim to meet with your mother and now she is on Midgard with Thor and his companions.”

Thor was alive, good. Odin had hoped for the best but had feared the worst when Cul had claimed to have killed his son. It also eased his heart some to know Frigga was out of Cul’s hands as well. All that was left to do is to rescue Loki.

“The queen tasked us with your rescue,” Heimdall continued. “Cul does not hold sway over as much of the citizenry as he believes. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said of most of the warriors.”

They slipped into the darkened passages, those accompanying Heimdall taking the rear. “Wait,” Odin said when they came to a split in the passage.

They all stopped. “We do not have much time,” reminded Heimdall. “The alarm will sound when they realize you are missing.”

“I know,” Odin replied, “but there is something I need to collect first.”

Turning down the opposite passage, Odin made for the Vault. There was an item there he needed to retrieve, something to be used only as a last resort.

They entered the Vault unseen and Odin made his way towards the back. The Casket of Ancient Winters glowed a soft blue from its place in the back of the Vault. Odin stepped past it and with a gesture, the empty chamber where the Destroyer once rested opened. The item inside was more heavily guarded than even the Tesseract had once been when it had been stored within the Vault.

Odin felt along the wall for the release to the hidden compartment within. He found it and with a soft click, a small portion of the wall opened up. Odin reached inside for an intricately carved box which contained an equally intricately carved dagger. It was an item he’d had commissioned upon Cul’s “death” should his brother reemerge again. At time of its commission, Odin could not recall the full reason for _why_ he had ordered its creation but his time in his cell had been much more enlightening than he’d expected.

Odin had not spent his time in his cell simply pacing back and forth with worry. No, he had been going over events, both past and current, trying to make sense of it all. In doing so, he’d broken whatever seal had been on his memories. He recalled the elder sister he’d once idolized and the absolute _Hel_ Cul had put her through. He recalled the heartbreak at knowing she was leaving Asgard permanently.

Farbauti’s loss in Odin’s life also made certain feelings he’d had during his major life events make more sense. His weddings to both of his wives along with the births of his children had all had a slight undertone of sadness, as though something had been missing. Odin now understood what that something was.

“The patrols are returning,” one of Heimdall’s companions said.

Odin tucked the box under his arm. “Now we can leave.” They did.

* * *

“What do you mean, they’ve escaped?” Cul barked at the council members. News that Heimdall had taken Hofund, which made the Observatory essentially useless was bad enough, to learn both Frigga _and_ Odin were gone as well was more than Cul wanted to hear. “How did this happen?”

“They had help,” replied Ulr, his gaze set firmly on the tabletop in front of him.

“Really?” the amount of sarcasm in Cul’s voice was overwhelming, “I never would have guessed. What of Heimdall? Have you located him? I need Hofund to get the Bifröst working again, unless any of you know of another way?”

He watched as the councilors exchanged silent looks. With no answers forthcoming, Cul stood from the table, “Figure it out!” he barked and stormed from the room.

Mimir was waiting for him in the king’s chambers. Cul let his eyes wander around the room while he tried to cool his anger. He would need to remodel these rooms. His brother did not have good taste. Where were the homages to war?

“Things are beginning to spiral out of control,” Mimir said.

“It’s a minor setback,” Cul replied. “There is nothing anyone can do to stop us. There must be another way to activate Bifröst.” Cul’s eyes fell upon the spear leaning against the far wall of the room. “Gungnir should be able to power the device then we can continue our quest across the Realms. All will remember that it is Asgard, that _I_ rule the Nine. All of Yggdrasil will bow to me soon enough.”

Mimir hummed. “And the boy? Is he still giving you trouble?”

Cul snorted, “Turns out the little bastard had help?”

Mimir’s eyes widened in shock. “Help?” he repeated. “What kind of help could he possibly have had?”

“Hela.”

“Yes, but there’s no need to worry. She’ll be dispatched shortly and I’ve already hit the boy with the sjelegift.”

Mimir’s expression shifted from shocked to angered. “You fool!” he bellowed. “Hela is a _death_ goddess. Do you have any idea what that means?”

Cul felt his own ire rise. He did not need attitude from Mimir. “It means nothing. I killed her long ago. She has no power here.”

“She does in the afterlife. She holds power over souls. What do you think you are? That body will never truly belong to you just as Haldor’s body is not truly mine even though I have tricked it to think so. Neither of us is alive in the same sense we once were. Should she get her hands on your root—”

“She won’t.”

“But if she does there will be nothing to prevent her from ripping you out.”

Cul shook his head in denial. “I’ve already entwined myself too far within this body. She apparently cares for the boy and I doubt she’ll risk causing him further harm. Besides, there is a reason I kept her corpse intact.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Hela is dead, there is no disputing that but there is still just the tiniest link tethering her to her body. A tether bound not just with her blood, but with mine.”

“A blood tie? How is that possible? Your body was already dead.”

“I know I didn’t inhabit my body then, but my corpse was still intact. I was able to extract enough blood to form the tie. It wasn’t until afterwards that Odin bound my spirit to it and forced it to decompose with those damnable sigils. Took for bloody ever to break that seal.”

To Cul’s pleasure, Mimir seemed to finally catch on to what that meant. “You can control her spirit through her corpse.”

“I can control her spirit through her corpse.”

“Wonderful, so where is her corpse?”

Cul went to answer then realized he had another slight problem. He’d sent Hela off Realm with a legion of the dead Einherjar to raze Vanaheim. “Damn.”

“Damn? Damn what?”

“She’s on Vanaheim.”

“Oh, wonderful.”

“I don’t need your sarcasm.”

“And I don’t need any more of your incompetence boy.”

“You dare speak to me that way?”

“Yes,” Mimir yelled, “I do, because you seem to have forgotten your place! It was I who taught you the magic needed to survive your physical death. It was _my_ plan that has gotten us this far.” He stalked closer to Cul. “My knowledge, my work, my prophecies! I tire of your tantrums Cul. Stop acting like a child—”

“I am not a child!”

“ _You are!_ ” Cul’s back hit the wall and Mimir’s fist slammed the spot beside his head. “This whole time you have sought nothing but to rule as High King of the Nine. I have indulged you long enough. I meant what I said about tearing down _everything_ Buri and his line created and I have _all_ intention of doing so. I may have altered my Raganarök prophecy to suit our needs but those changes do not make the prophecy any less true. Raganarök _will_ come to pass so, yes, conquer your Realms, enjoy your fleeting time as king but I am _done_ waiting. I don’t care if it’s you or the boy but one way or another that body will trigger Raganarök.

“My patience wears thin Cul. Fix this or I will rip you from that body myself and send you straight into Hel.” Mimir pushed from the wall then stormed from the room, the door slamming hard enough to raddle the items on the walls as he left.

Cul seethed. He had no intention of simply throwing away his kingdom for Raganarök. He would not allow the end of Yggdrasil to come about, no matter what Mimir said. Cul would have to find a way to keep Mimir placated for the time being. While Cul was powerful and could more than likely defeat Mimir, he was not fool enough to try nor was he fool enough to believe Mimir had taught him everything to know about their current state of being. He had no doubt Mimir could pull off his threat and force Cul from Loki’s body.

_One thing at a time,_ he thought. His eyes fell upon Gungnir once again. The spear was one of the most powerful artifacts in Asgard. Snatching it up, he made for the Observatory. He would continue his pursuit of the boy; keep him too distracted to try finding Cul’s root while also warding off Hela. That was all something he would do on the spiritual plain. In the living realm, he would retrieve Hela’s corpse from Vanaheim and, like before, force her to do his bidding.

* * *

Frigga watched Thor grip the arms of his seat as Stark’s plane raddled for a moment from turbulence. She found it ironic that her son would be so afraid of flying given he had the ability for himself. Perhaps his fear was due to his lack of control. Were the circumstances different, she might have teased him a little for it. _Loki certainly wouldn’t have held back_.

The thought of her youngest came unbidden and it caused Frigga to want to burst into tears. She tried to force the feeling away and cast about for a distraction. Her eyes travelled to Helblindi, who was staring blankly out one of the small windows. She and Thor had both tried to reassure the boy that nothing he had done was the cause of Loki’s current predicament but nothing they said seemed to reach the boy. Farbauti had tried speaking to him too but to no avail. Helblindi adamantly _refused_ to speak to his mother.

Frigga let her gaze wander more. She saw Farbauti conversing quietly with Býleistr and she was struck once again by how similar in appearance Farbauti was to Loki while she was in an Ǽsir form. It was beyond obvious Loki had inherited nearly all of his physical traits from her although she could detect nothing of her son in Farbauti’s personality.

Shaking her head slightly she let her gaze wander further, taking in everyone on board. Lady Jane was dozing in another of the seats, Fandral and Volstagg were attempting to figure out some card game Stark had tried to teach them while Stark himself tinkered with… a holographic projection? That most certainly caught her attention. She hadn’t realized Midgardian technology had advanced so far.

Intrigued, she watched as he began to _manipulate_ the projection. He was speaking in low tones and at first she thought he was talking to himself until she realized he was interacting with an artificial intelligence. This was… well beyond what any in Asgard had known Midgard to have developed. At this rate, Midgard would soon be ready to interact with the rest of the Nine.

“Look, Jay,” Stark said loud enough to be heard by everyone else, “I don’t care how deep Fury thinks he can bury this thing. I’ll go in repulsors blazing if I have to. I’m getting the damn cube. Besides, if it belongs to anyone on this planet, it’s me. I would just rather _not_ have to hurt anyone if I don’t have to.”

_“SHIELD has tightened security around the facility,”_ the AI Stark called “Jay” replied. _“Current protocol dictates relocation of the item should a threat to it arise.”_

“Have they initiated said protocol?”

_“Not as yet.”_

“Good. Let me know if they do move it.” His eyes continued to scan the hologram. “Hey, question,” Stark said, turning to them. “Can any of you do the whole shapeshift, make yourself look like someone else thing?”

“Do you mean a glamour?” Frigga asked.

“Is that what you call it? Yeah sure, that?”

“Casting a glamour is not hard however, depending upon the caster’s ability the glamour will disappear if touched.”

“Okay…”

“What are you thinking?” Thor asked.

“I was thinking about grabbing the personnel files of the people who are supposed to be at the facility, impersonating them then walking in the front door.”

“That’s actually not a bad idea,” Lady Jane said.

“How do you plan to transport the Tesseract?” Bestla asked.

Stark shrugged, “Grab and go?”

“That won’t work,” Frigga said. “You’ll need a container of some sort. It’s too dangerous for you to touch.”

“Why’s that?” asked Lady Jane.

“The Tesseract contains an Infinity Stone.”

“What?” nearly every non-Midgardian shouted in surprise.

Stark and Lady Jane looked confused. “Ques que sais?” Stark asked.

“The Infinity Stones are the basis by which everything we perceive as reality is built from,” Thor explained. “It is an item of immense power.”

“Huh, guess that’s why the Nazi’s were after it back in World War Two. So, insane power but it’s not like we’re talking about the Ark of the Covenant, right Indiana?”

“My name’s not Indiana,” said Thor, his brow furrowed in confusion.

Loki’s voice reached her ears, “They named the dog Indiana.”

Frigga’s heart leapt into her throat. She spun around to see Loki behind her, looking absolutely terrible. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were glassy. Along his lower abdomen was a horrible wound which oozed a thick black substance. He looked ready to topple over at any moment. “Loki,” she gasped.

“Loki!” Thor and Helblindi cried. Helblindi rushed for Loki but Frigga caught him before he could reach Loki.

“You can’t touch him,” Frigga said, “he’s not really here. It’s a simulacrum.”

“A what?” Stark asked.

“A duplicate,” Thor replied.

Loki’s eyes closed and he took several slow breaths before opening them again. “I don’t know how long I’ll be able to maintain this,” Loki said. “I’m actually surprised this even worked.”

So was Frigga, to be honest. She was afraid of the strain it was putting on him. “Loki are…” How could she even complete that question?

“I’m alive,” Loki replied. He pressed a hand against his wound with a wince. “For now at least, but I can feel… Whatever he stabbed me with is doing something. I can feel… I feel as though I’m fading.” He shook his head then gripped it with his other hand. “I don’t have a lot of time. I came to tell…” His eyes blinked slowly, as though he wasn’t entirely aware of his surroundings.

“Loki,” she prompted. Oh how she wished she could hold him, take away his pain but like this, she couldn’t even _touch_ him.

Loki forcibly gathered himself. “I don’t think Cul realizes I can sometimes see what’s happening out…” he gestured vaguely around himself, “here. It happens a lot when he’s angry or… I came… Cul and Mimir, they’re not eye to eye on their plan.”

“Trouble in paradise?” Stark asked.

“You could say that,” Loki replied. “Cul wants to conquer Yggdrasil and Mimir wants to destroy it. Mimir wants Raganarök. Cul… I think Cul is just a pawn.”

“How are you?” Thor blurted suddenly. “I mean you— are you…” Like Frigga, Thor seemed unable to find the right question to ask or at least one that didn’t have such an obvious answer.

“Cul is trying to get to me but she’s fighting him off.”

“She?”

“Oh, evidently we have an older sister but Cul killed her before we were born.”

“Your father was devastated by what Cul did to her, what he turned her into,” Frigga said. To Loki she asked, “Hela is helping you?”

Loki nodded. “She helped me escape where Cul had me trapped. We’re trying…” He blinked very slowly again, as though his energy was waning. “We’re trying to find where he’s rooted himself so that I can force him out.”

“How deeply has he rooted himself?” Bestla asked.

“I don’t know,” Loki replied with a shake of his head.

“If he’s—”

“Don’t you dare say what I think you’re about to say,” Frigga said sharply.

“It’s a possibility you need to consider,” Bestla said.

Loki whimpered, drawing her attention back to him. His face contorted with pain and he gripped tighter at his side. Loki stumbled and, without thinking, Frigga reached to catch him before he fell. To her even greater surprise, he was _solid_ against her arms. His sudden weight caused them both to tumble to the floor.

Frigga’s motherly instinct took over and she set about checking him over. While she knew he was not truly there she did so anyway. Thor fell to his knees beside them, one hand gripping Loki’s arm while the other cupped the back of his head. Thor shared a look of worry with her. Frigga held Loki cradled against her and brushed Loki’s hair away from his face. She could feel the fever that burned within him as she did. Even though Frigga was absolutely frightened to death for her son she still could not help but be amazed at the power her son had. To create such a realistic simulacrum was beyond anything she had ever thought possible.

“I’m so tired mama,” Loki said weakly.

“I know,” she pressed a kiss to his head. “I know, but you keep fighting. You do not let him win.”

Helblindi stumbled around Loki until he was kneeling beside him. “I’m sorry Loki,” Helblindi cried, tears in his eyes. “I should never have taken you to meet mama. I’m sorry I did this to you.”

“Blindi?” Loki asked and Frigga realized this was the first he’d seen the boy with an Ǽsir form. Loki reached out and gripped the boy’s hand. “This isn’t your fault Blindi.”

Helblindi sniffled, wiping his eyes with his free hand. “But if I hadn’t forced you to meet mama…”

“You didn’t force me,” Loki said, his lips turning up the tiniest bit.

“Loki does what he wants,” Thor added.

Loki turned his head enough to see Thor, his eyes moving from Thor’s chest to his head. “I’m fine,” Thor said in the face of Loki’s obvious worry. “My head is just as hard as you complain it to be and Cul’s aim with a dagger is terrible.”

Frigga knew Thor was trying to make light of the injuries he’d sustained at Cul’s hand for Loki’s sake. Yet, to her surprise Loki let out a soft chuckle. He tipped his head up to look at her. “Mama,” his eyes seemed to lose focus again. “Mama, I can’t hold…”

Loki’s magic faded, the simulacrum dissolving into nothing more than a green mist before vanishing completely. Frigga had the sudden feeling her baby had just slipped between her fingers and there was nothing she could do to grab hold of him again.

* * *

Loki felt his body sway in time with Fenris’s gait. It had taken quite a bit of energy to pull off creating a simulacrum, let alone a solid one. He felt his stomach roll again and tugged on Fenris’s fur. She stopped, allowing him to roll from her back so he could vomit up more of the poison. It left an awful taste in his mouth.

Once his stomach settled, he climbed onto Fenris’s back again. She whined, turning her head and he reached up to scratch along her neck. In the distance, the sound of Hela and Cul’s continuing battle echoed.

Loki felt drained though he would create another simulacrum again if given the choice. He wondered why he hadn’t thought to do so before. It had eased something within him to know his mother and brother were safe and hale. If only he knew his father’s condition.

They passed several more memories, some happy and others not so much. He did laugh at one memory where his father was “tossing” him into the air. No sooner had his mother warned that she had just fed him, did his infant self spit up all over his father’s face.

Loki wracked his brain, trying to narrow down which memory Cul had rooted himself in. His most painful memory but not an obvious one, Hela had said. Loki still had no idea how he was supposed to remove Cul once he found the anchor. Not only that but he also had to deal with the poison making its way through his system. As though he needed a reminder of its presence, his wound throbbed again. He pressed a hand to it until the pain ebbed.

Loki wished he’d thought to ask how long it had been since Cul had taken his body. While trapped in his mind, he had no real concept of time. Had it been months, years, _decades_ , since Cul had taken him? Loki had no way of knowing. How many people had Cul killed while in his body? The thought sickened him more than the poison did.

Loki knew he was running out of time. The sensation of fading he’d told his mother about continued to grow. Loki knew if he did not find the memory Cul had hidden in, found the root and pulled it out that he would cease to exist soon enough. What happened to souls that died? Was there and afterlife for the afterlife?

_What memory?_ Loki asked himself. _What is my worst memory? Where has Cul hidden himself?_

Loki thought and thought and then he heard, “Am I cursed?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a head cannon that Loki's visited Midgard quite a lot and knows various pop-culture references, hence the Indiana Jones remark.


	22. Twenty-Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Step One: Acquire Tesseract  
> Step Two: Sneak into Asgard  
> Step Three: Capture Cul  
> Step Four: ...ah hell, we're just going to wing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter compared to the others. Unfortunately this is more of a filler (which I hate) but I needed it to lead up to whats coming next.
> 
> I know Tony didn’t have the donning/doffing ability built into the suits that he wore in Avengers (that capability showed up in AoU in the Mark 43) but for the sake of this fic he’s incorporated that aspect into his earlier suits. 
> 
> On a completely unrelated note, sometimes I think my muse has a short attention span on purpose. For anyone who reads my Pieces verse, there should be a new installment coming up soon. My muse has been going back and forth between this fic and the new one for Pieces.

**_Twenty-Two_ **

Thor followed his mother and Stark into the SHIELD facility where the Tesseract was apparently being held. An elaborate plan had begun to spring forth until Thor had asked his mother if she could make herself invisible like Loki could. In all of the chaos, it had completely slipped her mind and his. Then again, Loki’s appearance and subsequent disappearance had taken its toll on his mother. While she did not openly fret, Thor knew she was just as worried about Loki’s condition as he was, perhaps even more so since she was their mother.

Thor followed silently as Stark led them through the facility. Thor had thought they had gained access quite easily, however he did not want to jinx their luck by saying so. All were silent and Thor kept Mjölnir at the ready just in case a fight did break out. Like Stark though, Thor did not want to harm anyone needlessly.

Thor had to admit he was a bit surprised by Stark’s willingness to help them this far. The plan was that they would obtain the Tesseract then use it to return to Asgard. There was no plan to leave the facility by any other means. Lady Jane had flown back home in Stark’s jet. She was not a warrior, not in the physical sense and Thor did not want to see her hurt. Stark was becoming a friend and while Thor did not want to endanger him either, Stark at least had some very sophisticated armor with which he could defend himself.

They made their way down a long tunnel, which served as a kind of underground escape for the facility. Lights lined the corridor at set intervals and Thor hoped nothing would prevent them from completing their mission. How long had it been since he’d set foot in Asgard? How long had Loki suffered under Cul’s possession? It felt like a lifetime.

Eventually the tunnel gave way to gray walls. They had to be getting close to the Tesseract. Thor worried about the kind of strain keeping so many invisible was taking on his mother and Bestla. Thor had no doubt they would succeed although he feared the cost.

At a much slower pace than Thor would have liked, they skirted down several corridors until they came to a rather heavy looking door. From the small window near eye-level, Thor peered inside to see an even more open space with a few Midgardians milling about. He thought he recognized one of them. He remembered Lady Jane mentioning that Doctor Selvig had been offered an opportunity to work on a project for SHIELD. Was this it?

From the corner of his eye, he saw Stark motion for him to step back. Thor did while Stark held his armored hand over a keypad. The numbers flashed then the door opened with a soft click. Stark carefully opened it then motioned for everyone to enter the room quickly.

While Thor may not have been as sensitive to magic as his mother and brother, he could certainly feel the power flowing from the Tesseract. The cube sat atop a small pedestal, hooked up to various machines, which seemed to be analyzing the Tesseract. His mother and Bestla stepped forward to collect it.

Sirens blazed suddenly and the lights within the room began to flash red. _“Security breach!”_ intoned an unemotional voice. _“Security breach!”_

The two women dropped the magic keeping them invisible and they all rushed for the Tesseract.

“Thor?” Doctor Selvig asked upon seeing them. “Where did you all come from? How did you get in here?”

“No time to explain,” Thor said, “and I’m sorry but we need the Tesseract to get back to Asgard.”

“No one is going anywhere,” yelled a voice he didn’t recognize.

His mother had retrieved the Tesseract and they all gathered around her. “Beam us up Scotty,” Stark said as the power of the Tesseract swept them away from Midgard and into the unknown climate of Asgard.

* * *

The light from the Bifröst faded, revealing Hela’s corpse walking jerkily away from the portal. Cul pulled Gungnir from the control mechanism and stepped down from the dais. He waited as the corpse came to a stop before him. The milky white eye regarded him with no emotion.

Cul fingered the small blood red gem he’d collected from his crypt. He took the corpse’s face in one hand and pulled her jaw open. He forced the gem down her throat and she reared back, her eyes widening. Red punctured her milky eyes where the pupil had once been.

“Find the boy,” Cul ordered, knowing his command would translate into the spirit realm. He focused his vision inward, watching Hela’s spirit seize, trying to fight off the binding magic he now had her under. She glared at him, hatred burning in her eyes. She jerked in the same manner her corpse did, compelled to follow his order. “Find the boy and bring him to me.”

Cul smirked and let his consciousness return to the living realm. “Come,” he told her corpse and together they made their way back down the Bifröst. As they walked, Cul thought about Mimir’s threat and his desire to bring about Ragnarök. Cul knew he would have to dispose of Mimir at some point, the elder Æsir was too dangerous to leave to his own devices.

There was, however, some merit to what Mimir wanted. While Ragnarök was the destruction the Nine, it also ended with its _rebirth_. The more Cul thought about it the more he realized he could work with that. He could give Mimir his revenge by helping the man tear down everything his grandfather had built. He would just have to be sure Mimir died in the process.

Cul began to rework his plan. He would help Mimir destroy Yggdrasil as it currently was and afterwards, he would rebuild it how _he_ desired. Cul would be the absolute ruler of Yggdrasil and no one, not even the Norns themselves, would be able to stop him.

* * *

Keeping themselves hidden from the general populace was much easier than Thor had expected it to be. He’d half believed they would have been accosted the moment they entered Asgard as the power given off by the Tesseract must have been noticeable… right?

Luckily, night had descended quite thoroughly upon Asgard and their group kept to the shadows just to be safe. Once more, Bestla and his mother had cloaked them all as they made their way towards wherever his mother was leading them. He and Stark kept beside his mother while Fandral and Volstagg protected the rear of their party.

Their path took them far into the mountains of Asgard. Witch lights lit their way as they trekked between the high mountains. Eventually they came upon an enormous carving of Yggdrasil and Thor suddenly knew where they were. He and Loki had been here before, having found the mysterious and ancient stronghold something worth exploring. They had _never_ told their parents they had come here. For all either of the brothers had known, the hidden stronghold had been lost to time, known only to them.

Stark whistled, breaking the silence. “Those doors are _huge_. Is there a special knock we need to do or do we just Ali Baba this with open sesame?”

No sooner had Stark stopped speaking than the doors began to open. The hinges gave a heavy groan under the weight along with an unfortunate screech of metal on metal from lack of use. Everyone winced, Helblindi even slapping his hands over his ears at the sound.

They all braced themselves should whoever was on the other side of the doors attack. None of them would put it past Cul to have his dead Einherjar lying in wait for them even if Cul didn’t know about their return.

Instead, it was Heimdall who met them in the doorway and standing beside him was, “Odin,” Frigga breathed, rushing forward to embrace her husband.

Heimdall motioned them inside. “Quick.”

Once they had all passed through, the doors closed behind them. Stark did something and his suit opened up to allow him to exit it. It closed again, moving to stand behind Stark. “Love what you’ve done with the place, feels very… _Lord of the Rings_. Hope there are no dragons, trolls or orcs running around here.”

His comment earned him several blank stares but Thor found that he actually _recognized_ the reference.

“These caverns were once used as a stronghold during the troll’s invasion of Asgard,” Heimdall said.

“Trolls? No kidding?” Stark asked. “Do they turn to stone in daylight?”

“Do we really have time for such questions?” Bestla asked.

“Mother?” Odin asked.

None of the Jötnar had returned to their natural form, all still maintaining an Æsir visage. It came as no surprise to Thor that his father would recognize his own mother although he _was_ surprised when his father recognized Farbauti. When Odin’s single eye fell upon Helblindi, after the initial confusion, Thor saw his father struggle to keep his emotions in check. _Any_ reminder of Loki tore at their hearts.

Moving further into the cavern, Thor saw a good number of citizens milling about, though none of the nobility although there were a few Einherjar scattered throughout. Heimdall led them to an area where they could all converse without being over heard.

The next several hours consisted of debriefing everyone of recent events, to include their reclaiming the Tesseract. Stark, as the first Midgardian to visit Asgard in over a thousand years, garnered a good amount of attention. His suit of armor was also a source of awe amongst the Asgardians. Midgard had advanced much more than anyone had expected.

Their discussion had not been completely civil, however. Once Odin heard of Farbauti’s actions against Loki, Thor thought his father would throttle his sister. Odin had raged at her none the less, which only further proved how precious Loki was to their family. To Thor’s even greater surprise, Farbauti never even tried to defend herself.

“The Bifröst activated a short time ago,” Heimdall informed them sometime later. “Even without Hofund, Cul has somehow managed to reactivate the Observatory.”

“Gungnir,” Odin said. “It has the power to activate Bifröst, though not necessarily with the same precision control.”

“Any idea what he did with it?” Frigga asked.

Heimdall nodded, “He recalled Hela from Vanaheim.”

“Anything else?”

“No, although he has sent out search parties for both you and the king.”

“Question,” Stark said, “Hela’s the dead sister Loki mentioned, right?” At Frigga’s affirmation, Stark continued, “Okay, so and I’m still getting used to the whole zombie thing and that I’m on a whole other freaking _planet_ , but…” He pointed to Frigga, “You said Cul turned Hela into something. What, exactly, did her turn her into?”

It was Odin who answered Stark’s question. “Hela was born a Goddess of Death,” he replied. “Her role was to see that those who passed from the living realm made it to their final resting place in the afterlife. Cul took that duty and twisted it so that she was the one who _took_ those lives. The lives she stole,” Odin shook his head mournfully, “lamented in a state between living and dead until Cul finally took Hela’s life from her. Her spirit, as far as I know, has taken on the role she was meant to have in life.”

“He turned her into a Reaper,” Stark said.

“A what?” Thor asked.

“The Grim Reaper, depending on the culture, is the one who comes to collect a person when it’s their time to die. Basically Death personified,” explained Stark. “In Christianity, Death is one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and Loki said Mimir wants to start Raganarök.”

“From what Loki said, Cul doesn’t want to start Raganarök, Mimir does.”

“He also confirmed they’re not exactly seeing eye to eye on their plan.”

“It still doesn’t explain why he recalled Hela to Asgard.”

“She’s Death, right? The more I think about it, the more parallels I’m seeing but… The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse consist of War, Death, Famine and Pestilence. They’ve already started a war and they have a literal personification of Death, so there’s two. All they need is Famine and Pestilence.”

“This isn’t how Raganarök was meant to start,” Farbauti said.

“Yeah, I get that. There are apparently a lot of different triggers, one being an insanely long winter on Earth. The death of Baldur is another along with Loki being chained to a rock with his own kid’s entrails and having a snake drip venom into his eyes.”

Stark’s words earned him several looks of horror.

“Who’s Baldur?” Helblindi asked.

Like everyone else, Thor was aghast but for some reason his mind decided to focus on one point. “Loki doesn’t even _have_ children,” Thor argued.

“We would _never_ allow such a thing to happen to Loki!” Odin growled.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Stark protested, hands raised as though in defense. “That’s just what I got from our Norse Mythology. I’m not saying it’s factual, Thor’s already pointed out the horse thing didn’t happen but what I’m saying is, what if the trigger’s happened though in a different way.”

“Explain,” Frigga demanded.

“Loki is trapped inside of his own body, essentially _chained_ there by Cul who, by the way, is known as the _Serpent._ The wound of Loki’s that we saw could have been caused by the _venom_. If these are your triggers then Mimir’s already on his way to getting this party started.”

They all realized Stark had a point. Mimir was causing the specific triggers required to bring Ragnarök about, though not in the manner that was originally prophesied.

“The Einherjar have risen,” his father said slowly, “Fenris has broken free of her bonds, Jötunheim has come to Asgard—”

“Weren’t they supposed to fight against Asgard?” Stark interrupted.

“As you suggested, Mimir is bringing about all the events required to bring Ragnarök into being even if those events do not occur exactly as written.”

“If Mimir wishes to fully set Ragnarök into motion he’ll need to summon Surtur,” said Fandral.

“The Fire Demon of Muspelheim,” Volstagg added.

Stark’s eyes grew wide, “Fire demon? He’s a giant too, yeah?” At their affirming nods Stark blew out a breath, “First we enter the Mines of Moria and now you say Mimir wants to release a Balrog?”

“What are you going on about?” Fandral asked.

“It has to do with the _Lord of the Rings_ he spoke of earlier,” replied Thor.

Now they all turned to him in surprise. “Uh, yeah,” Stark said. “How did you know that?”

“Loki has several books with that title on his shelves.”

“And you _read_ them?” his parents asked, both sounding incredulous.

“No,” Thor’s cheeks darkened slightly, “but Loki told me about them and the tale they tell. They were very entertaining.”

“The movies were good too, but you know, so long as no one shows up with the One Ring, I think we’ll be good,” Stark said.

“We’ll need a plan to capture Cul,” Odin said, bringing them back on topic.

“There are a few more supplies I will need to gather so we can banish him,” Frigga said.

A pained expression suddenly crossed his father’s face though Thor didn’t understand why. His father picked up a small box he had laid at his feet. “I had this commissioned after Hela died. I feared Cul may someday return although at the time I didn’t understand where the idea had come from.” He opened the box to reveal an intricately carved dagger, with runes etched along the blade and even into the hilt. Small stones of different colors adorned the blade while the pommel consisted of a clear stone.

Both Frigga and Bestla gasped, “That will…” his mother trailed off.

“I know,” Odin said. “It’s a means of last resort.”

“You can’t honestly mean to use that? I won’t let you.”

“I don’t wish to Frigga but if no other options work we can’t let Cul roam free. Loki wouldn’t want to be used that way.”

“What makes that blade so special?” Stark asked, giving voice to the question Thor wasn’t sure he wanted the answer to.

“It will draw Cul’s soul from Loki’s body and trap it within the pommel.”

“I’m sensing a catch.”

Odin nodded, “In order to prevent Cul’s spirit from escaping, it will fuse his spirit to Loki’s life force. It will, in essence, tie him to Loki’s body until he can be drawn out. Unfortunately the only way to do that once their life forces have been linked, is to kill the body he resides in.”

Thor sucked in a breath. After all they had been through, all of the effort they had put into rescuing Loki and his brother may still end up dead in the end. It wasn’t fair! There had to be another way.

“I agree with mama-bear over there,” Stark said, pointing to Frigga. “Last resort.”

“You do not even know Loki,” Heimdall said. “Why are you so eager to save him?”

“Wow,” Stark said before anyone could protest Heimdall’s words, “I guess the lore got that part right. You really don’t like the guy, do you? Why do I want to save him? Well, for one, and even though I don’t know the full extent of it, no one should have to suffer the shit Cul’s put him through. Two, big bro,” here he pointed to Thor, “ _loves_ his brother. It’s pretty freaking obvious and if you, Mr. I-can-see-everything can’t even see _that,_ then you’re friggin’ blind. I haven’t known Thor for very long but I’d like to think we’re becoming friends and if I can help him save his brother, I’m going to do it. Same goes for little bro there,” he gestured to Helblindi now, “I like him too. Also, Thor talks about Loki _a lot_ and from what I have heard, he seems like a pretty awesome guy.”

Thor felt the fledgling friendship he had with Stark grow just a little deeper. The only contact Stark had had with Loki had been the few minutes his brother had been able to send a simulacrum to them. He also knew, without a doubt, that if Loki were to strike up a friendship with Stark as well, it would do his brother a world of good.

“Cul doesn’t suspect we are here,” Thor said before Stark’s defense turned into an argument, “if we wish to draw him out, one sure way to do it is for me to reveal myself.”

“Are you sure that’s wise?” Fandral asked.

“We can lay a trap but if he’s focused on me it will give mother time to gather the items she needs to bind Cul.” Thor waited for their response. Strategy was Loki’s strong suit but he thought his brother would be proud that he was at least trying.

“It’ll really throw them off if I go with you,” Stark said. The man gave him a smile so mischievous that Thor was reminded of Loki. “Well Frodo, to Mordor?”


	23. Twenty-Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki finds the root.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final confrontation is coming soon, I promise. I was going to put it in this chapter but thought it better to wait, otherwise too much will be going on and I didn't want that. There was a lot of back, forth, back, forth and I didn't want it to become confusing which is what I'm afraid would have happened. Also, if I tried to write it all in (I swear, this last part is fighting me) then I would have been extremely late in posting. 
> 
> This chapter had another case of, I wasn't expecting that to happen.
> 
> Google translate says Ango is Latin for pain.  
> Glaðsheimr is Odin’s hall in Valhalla in mythology.

**_Twenty-Three_ ** ****

“Am I cursed?”

Loki froze as his own voice reached his ears, asking a question he’d put forth hoping, _praying,_ for that to have been the case. Loki realized his worst memory wasn’t the bullying he’d suffered growing up or being brushed aside by those he’d foolishly hoped would be his friends. Not even Farbauti’s confirmation that he’d been unwanted from the moment of his birth topped what had occurred in the Vault.

No, what had become Loki’s worst memory was learning his whole life had been a lie. Everything he’d thought himself to be, son to Odin and Frigga, brother to Thor, _Æsir_ , had been nothing but a falsehood. _Loki_ had been a lie all along and he’d never even known it.

Loki spotted himself standing before the Casket of Ancient Winters, his skin cobalt blue, back turned to the man he’d thought of as his father his whole life awaiting an answer that ended up shattering everything. Loki would have given anything in that moment for his blue skin to have been caused by a curse.

His father’s reply of, “No,” was just as devastating this time around.

Loki watched as the memory of himself confronted Odin, anger and desperation rising within the memory. Loki was able to view the events a bit more objectively. Memory-Loki refused to hear anything Odin said, refused to believe his father had saved him for any other purpose than to rescue an _innocent child_. Loki had wanted Odin to say he’d taken Loki for some nefarious purpose, to tell Loki he was a monster and that his treatment was due to everyone in Asgard _but_ Loki knowing the truth.

Loki realized now that it was his fear, pain and the complete upheaval of his life which had caused him to lash out that day. The memory was still painful and Loki could not say whether or not he’d have had the same reaction if he had learned the truth under different circumstances.

This time, when Loki heard Odin say, “You’re my son,” he heard it for what it really was, a declaration. Originally, Loki had refused to believe he’d ever been considered a son by Odin but his tone, and the look of surprise on Odin’s face that Loki would even believe otherwise was something Loki had missed the first time.

The desperation he saw on his own face as he tried to make sense of it all quickened Loki’s heart even now. He even jumped when his own desperate voice screamed, _“Tell me!”_

He watched himself stalk towards his father, demanding answers that he both did and did not want. He had convinced himself that he’d been nothing more than a means to an end. He’d convinced himself that his father had taken him so that he could place Loki upon the throne of Jötunheim as a sort of puppet king.

“You know it all makes sense now,” Memory-Loki sneered, stalking up the stars towards where Odin had fallen back. “Why you favored Thor all these years, because no matter how much you claim to _love me_ you could never have a _Frost Giant_ on the throne of Asgard.”

It hadn’t registered to Loki at the time, his father trying desperately to reach out to him, both in action and in words. Once his father had collapsed into the Odinsleep, Memory-Loki’s rage was replaced by fear. Memory-Loki called out to the guards for help, and then…

“Am I cursed?”

Startled, Loki spun around to find the memory had begun again.

Over and over, the memory played out in a continuous loop. Unlike the previous times he’d witnessed his memories, this one never faded. Constantly it was:

“Am I cursed?”

“Am I cursed?”

“Am I cursed?”

“Why?” Loki asked, clinging to Fenris’s fur, both for reassurance and also to keep himself standing. “Why is it doing this?”

There had to be a reason for the continuous loop. Loki began to cast his eyes about, looking for any discrepancy in the memory. What would Cul’s root look like? Loki wished he had some semblance of an idea what he was looking for.

Everything appeared as it should be. Loki could spot nothing out of place. The Casket stood atop its pedestal, the other artifacts within their proper places. Perhaps…

Letting go of the tight grip he had on Fenris, he stumbled over to where the entrance to the Destroyer’s chamber was. This was a memory but could he manipulate it somehow? The chamber had remained closed at the time this memory took place, but it wouldn’t stop Loki from trying.

Loki wasn’t entirely unsurprised when his fingers met the solid edge of the wall. He knew there was a mechanism, which could open the hidden chamber, Gungnir was not required. He had no way of knowing if he _could_ manipulate it to do so. He simply hoped it would.

“What are you doing?”

Loki felt a chill run up his spine at the same moment Fenris began to growl. Slowly Loki turned to find Memory-Loki staring at him with questioning ruby eyes.

_Well,_ Loki thought, _this is different._

* * *

“I think,” Cul said as he stepped up beside Mimir as they both overlooked Asgard, “you were right.”

From the corner of his eye, he saw Mimir raise an eyebrow. “Oh.”

Cul nodded, “I have wanted to take my rightful place as king for so long that I lost sight of what it was I truly desire.” Mimir’s expression remained skeptical. “Ruling on high would become boring rather quickly. What I truly desire is war. Death, destruction and _fear_ are what I thrive on. Ruling would require me to leave people alive to fear me and then I would have to, in a manner of speaking, take care of them in order for that to happen. Your plan though, Ragnarök, would deliver such pleasure in one fell swoop.”

“You’re up to something,” Mimir said, tuning to face him fully. “What is it?”

Cul feigned innocence, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t take me for a fool Cul,” Mimir scoffed. “You’ve spoken of nothing but ruling the Nine since the beginning and now you’ve, suddenly, had a change of heart. I don’t buy it for a moment.”

“You said you wanted to tear it all down and that’s what I’m offering,” Cul replied. “Hela is going after the boy so he will no longer be a problem.” He felt his anger rise. “I have done everything you’ve asked; I have scarified my own desires to see yours met. I _wasted_ in the ether waiting for this body for _centuries_ so if I want to change my mind about something then I should be allowed to do so, no questions asked.”

Mimir remained unconvinced. “You can believe your own falsehood all you wish, I will not fall for such a trick. We agreed to become partners for our mutual benefit. So long as that benefit remains we shall be allies but, should you try to betray me remember what I said, I will rip you from that body myself if I must.” Mimir leaned in towards Cul, his lips twisting up into a feral grin, his eyes flashed; his voice deepened and yet took on an almost echoing quality. “You know _nothing_ of what I am truly capable of.”

Cul was slowly losing control of the situation and he hated it. This was supposed to be _his_ victory! _His_ glory, not Mimir’s. He would have it, one way or another. “What is _your_ game,” he spat, anger taking away what common sense was required around Mimir. “I’ve agreed to do what you want at the expense of my own victory. What more would you have of me?”

“My goal has never changed even if the methods required to reach it needed altering. Yggdrasil will burn with Ragnarök. As for what I want from you?” Mimir shrugged, his voice returning to normal. “I want you to do what you’re told.” The smirk returned. “You’ve thought yourself in charge, the true mastermind in all this but the truth is Cul; you are simply a means to an end. I offered to share my secrets with you because I knew your power would be useful. The God of Fear, able to instill control over others through that fear.”

“I am not—”

“Ango.”

Cul seized as pain tore through his spirit, the likes of which he’d never felt before. He shouldn’t be able to _feel_ something like this and yet…

He found himself on his hands and knees gasping for air. His vision slowly returned to him and he looked up to see Mimir watching him unemotionally. “What…” another breath, “what was…”

“I have already told you, I know more about your current state of being than you do. That was simply a _taste_ of what I can do to you. Should I go through with my threat to remove you from Loki’s body by force I can assure you, what you’ve just felt is nothing to the pain you will suffer if I do.

“I’m tired of waiting Cul. Take one last look at Asgard because after tonight, it will never be the same again.”

Mimir left him there, gasping and trying to collect himself. Cul’s cheeks burned with indignity. How dare Mimir do this to him! The millennia that had passed had caused Mimir to forget his place. He’d been nothing more than an Asgardian ambassador, one who had sworn fealty to the Asgardian Royal Family. The prophet was honor bound to follow Cul’s orders and yet he…

Cul finally pulled himself to his feet and looked out over the Realm that had once been his home. He was the God of Fear and… and he controlled the Goddess of Death. Let Mimir think he had control over Cul, it need only last a little while longer. Once Hela had taken care of Loki, he would set her upon Mimir. Even Mimir, with all of his knowledge, could not escape Death indefinitely.

Cul summoned his generals, both living and dead. Once they were kneeling before him, he gave the command:

“Destroy everything.”

* * *

“What are you doing?”

Loki pressed his back against the wall, though he didn’t know how much good it would do. The memory had taken on a life of his own. While his father’s role within the memory continued on as though nothing had changed, memory-him had broken away from the loop. This couldn’t be good, could it?

“Um…” What was he supposed to say? He couldn’t think— Wait! He was already inside his own head, _how_ was he having internal thoughts? Did this mean his thoughts had thoughts? Norns, now his head hurt.

“What are you?” Loki asked instead then winced at the question. Did memory-him even know he was a memory? How did any of this work!

Memory-Loki held up his blue hands and appeared to be truly seeing them for the first time. “I don’t know,” Memory-Loki replied. “Am I you or are you me?”

Okay, this was delving much deeper than Loki had time for. “I have absolutely no idea,” Loki replied, casting his eyes about once again looking for _any_ discrepancy in the Vault. Could the sudden change in the memory be a trap of some kind? Loki knew Cul was searching for him but, given Cul’s recent attitude, Loki doubted he would be so subtle.

Loki decided to take a chance. “I’m looking for something.”

Memory-Loki tilted his head, ruby eyes regarding him with confusion. “Looking for something?”

This was getting him nowhere. “If you and I are the same then you should already know what it is I’m after.”

“Cul’s root.”

“Yes! Do you know where it is?”

“Subconscious.”

Loki blinked at Memory-Loki. “What?”

“I am Subconscious.”

If this was his subconscious, it currently had a short attention span. Frustration flooded Loki. “I don’t have time for this. I need to find where Cul’s rooted himself and tear it out. _Help me!_ ”

Memory-Loki stepped away from the Casket and over to where Loki stood. Loki twisted away when the memory reached for him. He winced as the action pulled at his wound. He pressed a hand against it and cursed when he became lightheaded. When his vision cleared, he saw a similar wound had appeared on Memory-Loki.

“We are dying,” Memory-Loki stated.

Loki’s wince this time had nothing to do with the wound and everything to do with the unemotional way the memory had spoken those words. He found he had no response to that.

Memory-Loki reached behind him and pressed something by Loki’s head. Loki heard the door to the Destroyer’s chamber begin to open. When Loki turned his head to watch he felt a punch against his chest. His head whipped back around to see Memory-Loki had thrust his hand into Loki’s chest. “What…”

Memory-Loki’s body began to glow to the point where it hurt to look at him. Loki felt… _something_ happening. Fenris’s frantic barking barely registered and when Loki came back to himself he was sitting at the base of the pedestal breathing hard. Fenris was nosing at him worriedly and Loki scratched at her muzzle.

Loki carefully stood and found neither the memory of himself or his father were there anymore. Loki realized the weakness he’d felt before was no longer there either. He glanced down at his chest but found no wound. Instead, he saw the wound inflicted by Cul seemed to have healed somewhat.

Unsure of what to make of what had just happened, Loki decided that as long as it hadn’t seemed to have hurt him he wasn’t going to worry about it at the moment. He turned his attention to the Destroyer’s chamber and reared back in fright.

It wasn’t the Destroyer within the chamber, but a body bound by thick chains. Deadly looking hooks anchored the chains to the wall and some of those anchors hooked into the body itself. To Loki’s limited relief, it was not _his_ body hanging in the chamber, but Cul’s.

Loki now had to figure out how to remove Cul from here and out of his body. “Any ideas?” he asked Fenris.

The large wolf shook her head.

“Loki.”

That had been Hela’s voice. Had she defeated Cul’s spirit? “Hela, I’ve found—”

Fenris roughly pushed Loki to the side, just narrowly keeping him from being run through by one of Hela’s blades. Loki hit the ground hard, his shoulder taking the brunt of the impact. He let out a cry as he felt something in his shoulder pop. “Hela,” he cried, “what are you doing?”

Loki pulled himself from the ground, barely avoiding another blade.

“I…” Hela’s face twitched, “I cannot… control…”

Fenris put herself between Loki and Hela although it was obvious she did not want to fight her master. “I’ve found Cul’s root,” Loki said. “Help me pull it out.”

“You must run,” Hela said as she attacked again. “I can’t control my body.”

Loki, much to his surprise, managed to call forth a blade of his own. He couldn’t just leave this memory. He had no way of knowing if he would be able to return or whether or not Cul would move his root. If Cul did that Loki feared he’d never find it again.

“Get out!” Hela yelled, her blade biting into Fenris’s flank.

“I can’t,” Loki said as he continued to dodge Hela’s attack. His movement only aggravated the wound in his side. He could feel what little energy he’d gained from joining with his subconscious already beginning to wane.

Hela conjured a dagger and let it fly. Loki was too slow to doge and he felt it embed itself in his shoulder. He screamed as the wound began to burn.

Fenris, realizing she had no choice, let loose against Hela. Teeth and claws lashed out at her master, both inflicting wounds upon one another.

While the two clashed, Loki reached around to pull the blade from his shoulder. The blade clattered to the ground but at least the wound it had created didn’t feel at all like the one in his side. Loki knew he had to do something. Desperation caused Loki to try something crazy.

Loki closed his eyes and concentrated, calling his seiðr to himself. Stronger and stronger it grew until he fairly glowed with it.

Turning back to where Hela and Fenris were still fighting, he thrust out a hand and yelled, “Stop!”

* * *

Thor led the way, Stark following close behind as they flew towards Asgard’s capital city, Glaðsheimr. Their hand had been forced once Cul’s forces had begun to attack the civilian population. Those not under his thrall fought back as best they could but it was a blood bath. While Thor held the same love of battle as any Æsir, what he saw now sickened him.

Thor wished they could stop and help everyone they passed but if they did so they would never reach the palace. When they finally did arrive, they found Mimir waiting for them.

Mimir did not seem surprised to see them. “So you survived,” he said to Thor, “how dull.”

“Not sorry to disappoint,” Stark said.

Mimir shrugged, “I cannot say I’m disappointed. It will be interesting to watch a representative of Midgard attempt to try to stop Ragnarök. I don’t see a point though, Ragnarök is inevitable.”

“Yeah, you see the thing about us humans is, you tell us we can’t do something and we’ll do it anyway simply out of spite.”

“You are dealing with forces you can’t even _begin_ to comprehend.”

“Maybe not, don’t really care. Anyway, where’s your buddy?”

Mimir gestured to the fighting going on around them. “Cul is doing what he was always meant to, trigger the End.”

Although Thor couldn’t see it, he could easily picture Stark rolling his eyes. “Seriously, the Apocalypse was like, three seasons ago Lucifer.”

“You gave Cul the knowledge he needed to become what he is now,” Thor said, not in the mood for continued banter. “Tell me how to free Loki from Cul.”

“Death,” Mimir said flatly. “Death is the only way to release your brother. Of course, I could pull Cul from Loki’s body but that would leave a chance for the boy to live and since he _is_ a descendant of Buri well… I can’t have that.”

“It can be done.”

“Never said it couldn’t. There is a difference between unable and unwilling. Sure, I have the knowledge,” he tapped a finger against his temple, “here but I’ll never tell you what you want to know.”

Mimir gestured again and Thor felt something slam into his back. He’d let himself become distracted by Mimir and had neglected to keep aware of his surroundings. He and Stark were nearly overrun by the dead Einherjar.

“Point Break, down!”

Thor dropped to the ground at the same time twin beams of energy struck out at their enemies. Many of the dead disintegrated in the blast. When Thor rose, it was to find Mimir was no longer there. Thor let out a roar, lightning swirled around Mjölnir’s head and when Thor struck out the rest of the dead in their vicinity became nothing more than dust.

Stark’s faceplate opened and he whistled. “Damn.”

“He’s gone.”

“Noticed that. Must be a supervillain trait. As soon as things look like it’s going sideways for them it’s exit stage left.”

“You are a very strange creature Stark.”

“I get that a lot. Think my dad dropped me on my head as a kid. Would explain my personality.” Stark sobered, “So now what?”

“We help where we can and hope our presence draws Cul out.”

“Works for me.” The faceplate closed, “Mimir knows we’re here. If they’re really working together on this and if he’s the brains of the operation he’ll send Cul out soon enough to try and kill us.”

“We need to hold out long enough for the others to arrive.”

They turned and leapt back into the fray. “You know,” Stark commented as they started to fight once more, “if someone had told me I would be fighting in a zombie apocalypse with a Norse god on another planet, I’d have had them committed.”

“Committed to what?” Thor asked as he took out several dead Einherjar.

“The looney bin,” Stark replied. “I mean, come on,” he gestured around him, “what are the odds? If I were a gambling man, the House would have _totally_ screwed me.”

Thor couldn’t even begin to understand what Stark was saying. The banter itself was comforting though and Thor wished Fandral and Volstagg had been able to come with them. However, they would arrive with the others soon enough. During a lull in the fighting, Thor cast his gaze back up to the palace. _Hold on Loki,_ he thought. _We’re coming brother, just hold on a little longer._

* * *

To Loki’s absolute amazement, Hela stood frozen in place. Loki thought he saw a shimmer around her body. Had he actually _frozen_ her? Could he do such a thing?

“Hela?” he asked tentatively.

A slow clapping drew his attention and he gripped his dagger just a little tighter as Cul stepped into the Vault.

“Bravo, I have to say, I am impressed. You managed to call forth your magic here, something you shouldn’t be able to do.” Cul snapped his fingers and Hela was able to move again. Cul ran a finger down her cheek. “Change of plans Hela. I have a new task for you.”

Hela glared at him but said nothing.

“I’ll take care of the boy. Your new task is to kill Mimir.”

Hela laughed. “Kill Mimir,” she echoed. “I believe you have forgotten something very important Cul. I’m _dead_. I can no longer interact with the living realm in that way.”

Cul sent Loki a smile that caused a chill to run down his spine. Did this mean… did this mean everything has been for nothing? Is he already dead?

“Come now Hela, the boy—”

“Loki is _blood_ , it’s different.”

Cul shrugged, “Perhaps but it doesn’t change anything. I still want you to kill Mimir.”

“Still can’t happen.”

“Oh, but it can. You see, you aren’t as dead as you think. Your soul is still tethered to your body which holds a sliver of life within it.” Hela’s eyes widened in surprise. “Now,” Cul said, “be a good girl and do as you’re told.”

Loki watched Hela struggle against her body, which turned to do Cul’s bidding. Fenris placed herself once more between Loki and the others and while Loki appreciated the gesture, he knew he could no longer allow the wolf to fight his battles for him. While he still feared Cul, if Loki let that fear consume him then Cul would most assuredly win. Loki refused to allow himself to be a pawn any longer.

Dropping into a fighting stance and calling his battle leathers and daggers to him, Loki smirked. “Let’s dance.”

* * *

Odin raced towards the palace. Like everyone else, they were doing all they could to help the citizens, however Odin couldn’t help but feel useless. He was King, it was his duty to protect his people and yet, there was little he could do for them. The only way to end this was to defeat Cul and Mimir.

Battles raged all throughout Asgard, something Odin loathed witnessing. It had been well over a thousand years since such a thing had happened and, even though they were a warrior culture, they had been unprepared for such an event.

The palace came into view much sooner than Odin had expected. Odin had seen many battles over his long life but this was the first time in a long time that his stomach twisted into knots at what was happening and what was to come. The dagger strapped to his belt felt much heavier that it really was.

Thor and Stark had gone on ahead to cause a distraction while Volstagg had led the women to find the supplies they needed for the binding spell. Odin and the rest were to meet up with them at one of the palaces secret entrances. His group had not been there long before the rest of their party showed.

The expression on Frigga’s face gave Odin pause. “What is it?” he asked.

“Cul had all of my supplies for spells removed from my rooms,” Frigga said with barely restrained anger. “We’ve managed to secure the crystals we need but the closest available apothecary has been completely destroyed. We don’t have time to go searching or another.”

That was ill news indeed. “I know some of the herbs you use for spells are quite common, could they be found in the kitchens?”

By the look his wife gave him, she clearly thought he was an idiot in that moment. “Unfortunately I need something a bit more powerful than kitchen herbs.”

In Odin’s defense, _he_ hadn’t been informed of the exact ingredients needed for the spell. “Well, what about Loki’s room? He keeps an abundance of supplies, could he have what you need?”

If the situation weren’t so dire, Odin may have enjoyed the expression Frigga now sported. She shook her head, “Now I’m the idiot,” she muttered.

Odin sobered, “You are no idiot, my love,” he said, “simply an extremely worried mother.”

“It is possible Loki has the ingredients we need in his rooms, so long as Cul hasn’t cleaned them out.”

“I doubt he would have,” Bestla said. “Especially with your escape, he would have had no reason to fear anyone creating such a spell here.”

“His hubris will be to our advantage.”

They entered the palace, keeping to the passages to avoid being seen. Odin hated this and continued to feel as though he was abandoning his people by not being out there fighting with them. He mentally chastised himself. That kind of thinking would do no one any good, most certainly not his son.

His eye caught sight of young Helblindi, keeping pace with them silently. Odin felt a flash of guilt that they’d brought the boy with them. He would have felt better had they left the boy behind but the same fear that had kept them from revealing Loki’s origins had kept them from leaving Helblindi in the fort.

When they finally made it to Loki’s rooms, he and Frigga both were lost for a moment. How long had it been since everything was normal? How long had it been since their son was _home_? Odin hated the way events had played out and he cursed himself once more for succumbing to the Odinsleep when he did. If he had just held it off a little longer then perhaps none of this would have happened.

Frigga began her search. It felt like an invasion of Loki’s privacy and he knew Frigga felt the same, especially with so many strangers present. That the warding on Loki’s rooms hadn’t activated was disconcerting to Odin. It may not have meant anything but it could also mean they were too late.

Frigga gave a little exclamation of triumph when she found the items she needed. She quickly set about putting everything together. The crystals she’d gathered had a soft glow to them when she was done. 

“Thor and Stark have made themselves known to Mimir,” Heimdall informed them.

“I will need some time to set everything up,” Frigga said.

“You will have that time,” Odin assured.

“Tell Thor to have him and Stark lure Cul and Mimir to us,” Frigga said to Heimdall.

“Where do you plan to set up?” asked Farbauti.

“The throne room,” Odin said. It was the perfect place. “It has enough space for you to lay your trap and it will be an impossible lure for Cul.”

“Especially if you are sitting upon Hliðskjálf waiting for him,” Frigga added.

“Inform them,” he ordered. Odin allowed himself one last look around his son’s room before they all made their way for the final confrontation.


	24. Twenty-Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the Final Battle!
> 
>  ** _MORTAL KOMBAT!!!_**
> 
> *Mortal Kombat theme begins playing*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh... Sorry, not sorry....
> 
> *Points to text* This is why I split this chapter up. 
> 
> In Supernatural, Christo is the true name of God and it makes demons flinch. Couldn’t help making Tony cheeky.
> 
> Comments? Yes please!

**_Twenty-Four_ **

Loki dodged a strike from Cul and slashed out with his blade, cutting into the meat of Cul’s leg. Cul roared in anger, thrusting out his arm and knocking Loki back again. Every time Loki tried to get closer to the body in the chamber, Cul thwarted his advance.

Loki’s frustration only grew with each failed attempt. Fenris was having about as much luck as Loki was which is to say, none at all. Loki could feel his energy already beginning to wane and feared what would happen should he fail.

“Give up boy,” Cul sneered, “you cannot win.”

“Maybe not,” Loki replied, “but I’m not about to make it easy for you.”

They came together again but this time, Loki feigned left and darted right instead. He slipped a blade between a joint in Cul’s armor and was satisfied to feel the blade sink even further into the skin beneath. Once again, Cul roared but Loki never stopped.

Loki realized belatedly that the memory-scape was like a lucid dream. Once he’d come to that conclusion he let his imagination fly. Loki ran on instinct, creating multiple simulacrum, making Cul guess at which was the _real_ Loki. All this time he’d thought being trapped within his own mind had put him at a disadvantage yet he knew now that was far from the truth.

Loki brought forth other distractions for Cul to face. Visions of his brother, father and multiple Einherjar faced off against Cul. Even though it took more energy than he would have liked to do so, Loki made some of his simulacrum solid to throw Cul off even further.

Loki finally, _finally¸_ entered the Destroyer’s chamber where the body hung. He reached for one of the anchors and just as he was about to try pulling it out, the eyes of the body opened.

* * *

“Hey,” Stark yelled, “pretty boy! Yeah you and your body snatcher friend! You abandoning ship already? This party’s just getting started.”

Thor circled around, hoping to pin Cul down at the very least. He knew Mimir was probably the biggest threat but he couldn’t risk losing Cul. If he escaped, they would lose the best chance of rescuing Loki they had.

Stark landed in front of Cul and Mimir, “Christo.”

Thor could hear the confusion in Mimir’s voice when he asked, “What are you doing mortal?”

“Christo?” Stark repeated, his faceplate opening. “ _Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus omnis satanica potestas, omnicis incursio..._ Not buying it huh?” He held up his hands and shrugged. “Eh, it was worth a shot.”

Thor gripped tighter to Mjölnir’s handle, feeling his power begin to gather within the hammer. He’d recalled what Stark had done on Midgard to incapacitate Cul and he hoped a similar strike from Mjölnir would do the same. He hoped his mother had gotten what she needed set up because he knew if they drew them in too early, there wouldn’t be another chance to try again.

With their attention on Stark, Thor sprung from his hiding place only to find himself completely immobile. He realized Cul had a hand held out towards him.

“You are about as subtle as a bilgsnipe,” Cul said. “I heard you coming a while ago.”

Thor struggled against the invisible force holding him. Stark aimed his weapons towards Cul and Mimir only to be thrown back. Stark let out a yelp as he tumbled through the air then a groan of pain when he slammed into the ground.

“Stop playing with them,” Mimir said. “Just kill them already.”

Father’s here,” Thor blurted. “He’s come to take back what is his.”

“ _Nothing_ belongs to Odin,” Cul barked.

“ _He_ is Asgard’s king,” Thor said. “He sits upon the throne even now.”

Cul manifested one of Loki’s blades, “Insolent boy!”

“Wait,” Mimir ordered before Cul could strike. “This turn of events may be useful to us.”

“How?”

“Odin wouldn’t have come alone. More than likely Heimdall will have followed him. Heimdall touts himself Asgard’s guardian, which means he’ll have Hofund in his possession. We need to bring Surtur here to ensure the end of Asgard and while Gungnir can activate Bifröst, Hofund has better control.”

“Fine, we’ll get the damn sword. _Then_ can I kill them?”

Mimir stepped over to where Stark was attempting to stand. He made a gesture and the man rose into the air. “Yes,” Mimir’s voice changed and the sound sent a shiver down Thor’s spine.

The sound of metal being ripped apart reached Thor’s ears just as Stark’s helmet was torn open. Blood trickled down from a cut on his head and Thor met Stark’s equally unsettled gaze.

“Then you can kill them.”

* * *

Odin sat upon Hliðskjálf fighting to keep from fidgeting. There was nothing he could do to help Frigga or his mother with the spell and he once again felt useless. He stood, unable to just _sit_ there and began to circle the throne. Helblindi sat leaning against the back of it and once more, Odin felt a pang of guilt. The boy should not be here.

Odin stepped back over to the front of the throne and pressed a nearly invisible catch. A small compartment within opened and Odin pulled out two small daggers. He returned to where Helblindi sat and knelt down. His knees protested the action. Helblindi glanced at him then returned to staring at the far wall.

“Have you ever used a blade before?” Odin asked.

Helblindi glanced over at him again. “Mother and mormor say I’m too young,” he answered softly, “but Bý taught me a few things.”

“Well,” Odin made a point of making sure the coast was clear before holding the daggers out to Helblindi, “don’t tell your mother.”

Helblindi took them and the smile he gave Odin was just as mischievous as any Loki had given at that age. “Thank you uncle.”

“You’re welcome.” He stood back up but bent over and whispered conspiratorially, “When this is over I’m sure Loki and your aunt will be more than willing to teach you more.”

Helblindi’s grin grew wider. “I’d like that.”

“Blindi.” Odin straightened and Helblindi looked around the side of the throne as Býleistr stepped over to them. “Blindi, I want you to find some place to hide until this is over.”

“I’m not leaving,” Helblindi replied stubbornly, folding his arms across his knees.

“Is there somewhere he can hide?” Býleistr asked Odin.

Before he could reply, Fandral said, “Someone is coming.”

Odin and Býleistr quickly took up their positions while Helblindi ducked back behind the throne. He saw the others had done the same. Odin’s hand found the hilt of the dagger and he prayed he wouldn’t have to use it.

The doors to the throne room opened and Odin affected an air of calm. Cul entered as though he owned the place, which in his mind, he did. He and Mimir stopped just short of where they had set up the binding spell.

“You’re in my chair, brother,” Cul said.

“Hliðskjálf has never been yours.”

Mimir glanced around, frowning. He waved a hand and the invisible sigils flared to life. He let out a mirthless chuckle. “You didn’t honestly think that would work again, did you?” His voice echoed in a manner Odin had never heard before. Another wave of his hand and the sigils evaporated. “I do have to commend you for trying though.” His eyes searched the throne room. “The rest of you may come out now.” No one moved. “Cul.”

Cul snapped his fingers then Thor and Stark suddenly appeared, dropping to the ground hard. “Loki’s little dimensional pocket was quite ingenious. I’d complement the brat but he’s being quite annoying at the moment.”

“There is no need to draw this out,” Mimir said. “It will be less painful to you if you do.” A beat of silence. “Fine.” Mimir held up a hand, palm out, towards Thor and Stark. The two men began to scream and writhe upon the floor. Blood started to seep from their ears and nose and Odin swore he could smell burning flesh.

“Stop!” Odin yelled. He forced himself to maintain his stoic mask but gave a nod. The others moved from their hiding positions and Odin _hoped_ Helblindi was smart enough to stay hidden. He watched as Cul’s expression morphed from haughty to outraged. “You should be dead!” Cul hissed.

“Cul,” Bestla said.

“Brother, stop this, please,” Farbauti pled, stepping closer to her twin. “You do not have to do this.”

“Have to, no,” Cul said, his glowing red eyes focusing on her. “I _want_ to do this.”

“Why?” Farbauti asked, slowly inching closer to him. “Why would you do this, to me?”

Cul laughed. “You took what was rightfully mine Farbauti. You took it _all_ from me.”

“I took nothing from you! You were my twin Cul! We used to be so close…”

“Maybe once, when we were young,” Cul conceded, “but I could not stand being cast into your shadow. _Everything_ was handed to you, _including_ Asgard’s throne. I was left with nothing but your scraps! Even our parent’s affection was limited and once the twins and Odin were born I was all but forgotten.”

“So you thought to try murdering me? You murdered our brothers for a throne paid for with blood. You know as well as I the cost of bringing the Nine together. You… you even twisted our niece into something she never should have been. You…” Farbauti’s voice wavered. “All I ever wanted was to remain in my home but you stole that from me. You forced me from my home but that wasn’t enough for you, was it?

“Because of you, I _despise_ my child! I should have loved him, cared for him, nurtured him regardless of his size but instead I left him to die! Even now, knowing what you did and how you twisted my thinking, I still hate him and I hate _you_ for doing that. You had no right!”

Odin couldn’t help but glance over at his wife and knew by Frigga’s expression she was holding back several scathing words. While he pitied his sister for what Cul had done to her, he felt sick at the thought of never knowing Loki. Farbauti may have given birth to Loki but he would always be Odin and Frigga’s son.

“You have no one to blame for your decisions but yourself Cul,” Farbauti continued. “Not me, not mother and father, not our brothers, _you._ ”

Cul’s eyes darted over to their mother. “I did what was necessary but _you_ ,” he thrust a finger out at Bestla, “you and that bastard had me killed. You forced me from my body and into this,” he gestured to himself, “state! What say you _mother_ , will you admit your part in all of this, your responsibility?”

“You would have slaughtered your entire family,” Bestla replied calmly. “Your decisions did result in the death of Vili and Vé. You caused the death of Hela along with billions of innocents simply because you enjoyed the sight of blood. You feed on fear Cul and yet it was your own fears and insecurities which have brought you to this.”

“I hold no responsibility,” Cul argued. “None of this is my fault. It is yours, you drove me to this.”

“You still blame others for your own mistakes,” Odin said with disgust. “The eldest son and yet still a child.”

“I am not a child!”

“No, you really are,” Mimir said.

Cul spun towards him, “I don’t need any lip from you.”

Mimir raised an eyebrow then held up a hand, “Ang—” Mimir broke off with a choked sound as a hand suddenly protruded from his chest. He blinked in confusion before looking down at it.

Odin shot up from his seat. A great horned helm rose from behind Mimir, one Odin recognized. The bloodied fist pulled from Mimir’s body with a sickening slurp and he dropped to the ground, blood pooling underneath his body. Veins of black spread out across him and the prophet’s eyes sought out his conspirator. “You…” Mimir choked on the blood filling his mouth, “You dare…”

Cul scoffed, “You may know more about what I am now but _I_ control the Goddess of Death. You should have remembered that before you threatened me so.”

The deep echoing quality of Mimir’s voice seemed to be fading. “I cannot die but you; I will enjoy tearing you apart.”

“You can’t be killed by conventional means, I’ll grant you that but,” Cul smirked, twisting Loki’s features into something Odin never wanted to see again, “ _Goddess of Death._ ”

Mimir screamed, his voice rising higher and higher until Odin and the others were forced to cover their ears. Smoke rose from the black veins that had spread across Mimir’s body and coalesced above Hela’s upturned palm. Mimir roared, “You will die!”

The mist came together to form a solid ebony stone. Before Hela’s fingers could close around it, it shot towards Cul. Cul ducked to the side, barely managing to keep from being stuck.

Odin stepped away from Hliðskjálf, pulling the dagger from his belt. Frigga and his mother scrambled to rebuild the spell to banish Cul while Fandral, Volstagg, Heimdall and Býleistr fought off the dead Einherjar, which had begun to swarm the throne room.

Odin rushed over to Thor and Stark, brushing part Farbauti as he went. “Are you two all right?”

Stark groaned, “I feel like I’ve been microwaved.”

“We’ll survive,” Thor said, rising to his feet and helping Stark to stand. His body tensed when he spotted Hela, “What is…”

Odin’s gaze fell upon his daughter now. “Your sister, Hela.” She stood rooted to the spot, hand still upturned and Odin thought he saw a thin tendril of black wrapped around her blood-covered fingers and extending to the orb that chased Cul around the room.

“Last resort,” Stark said, eyes falling upon the blade.

Odin’s grip tightened. “There may be another way.”

“We’ll cover you,” Stark said as he and Thor joined the fight.

With one ear to the battles around them, Odin stepped around Mimir’s now lifeless body and over to his daughter. “Hela.”

Her head twitched, milky eyes turning their focus on him. Her lips moved yet no sound came out.

Odin could have wept for the state she was in. “Can you pull Cul from Loki without killing him?”

Her head twitched again and her fingers tightened around the black tendrils.

“Hela!” Cul barked as he continued to dodge the orb. “Kill him!”

Above them all, Mimir’s orb floated. As Thor was closing in on Cul, the orb shot forward and down.

“Thor!” Frigga screamed just as the orb slammed into his back. The force of the strike sent him flying against Cul and they both went down in a heap. Neither of them moved.

* * *

Loki reared back when the eyes of the body opened. His momentary distraction nearly cost him dearly. As it was, he was forced away from the chamber before he had the chance to even try pulling out Cul’s root. Their battle commenced once again.

His side burned terribly from exertion and he was covered in a multitude of cuts and bruises. Cul was equally as bloody as he was and Loki took pride in that he’d been able to inflict such damage to him. Just as he’d spotted an opening in Cul’s defenses which would allow him to reach the root again, light and sound overwhelmed him and for a moment Loki felt as though his head was going to explode. When his sight returned to him, it was to find two new figures in the Vault.

Thor scrambled to his feet, eyes darting around and hand reaching for Mjölnir although his trusty hammer was not present. Loki couldn’t say how he knew but he _knew_ it really was his brother and not an illusion or memory. “Thor.”

Thor spun around, “Loki!” He ran forward, pulling Loki into an embrace while also dragging him behind one of the columns. “Loki,” Thor said again, brushing a stray lock of hair away from his face, “you look terrible.”

Loki let out a sound that was a strange mixture of laughter and a sob. “How are you here?”

“I don’t know,” Thor said. He peeked out from behind the column. Loki did so as well and saw Cul locked in combat with a man he didn’t recognize. “Somehow Mimir was pulled from his body and he became this black orb,” Thor explained. “I think I was hit with the orb and the next thing I knew, I was here.”

Mimir must be the man Loki didn’t recognize. Thor suddenly pushed Loki behind him. Expecting an attack, Loki let out a breath when he saw it was only Fenris. “It’s okay, she’s a friend,” Loki explained.

“She’s huge.”

“Actually, she gets bigger.”

Thor’s eyes bulged and Loki chuckled at the look on his brother’s face. _Norns_ he’d missed him. Loki wished they had time to enjoy their reunion.

“Cul’s root is in the Destroyer’s chamber,” Loki said. “Whenever I tried to get to it, he would force me away.”

“He appears to be occupied at the moment,” Thor commented.

Loki nodded, now would be the best time to strike and yet… a thought Loki had not allowed himself to entertain before finally surfaced. He bit his lip, “If I am able to force Cul from my body where will he go?”

“What do you mean?” Thor asked warily, his eyes on the continued conflict between Cul and Mimir.

“Will his spirit roam free or will he be contained somehow? I can’t… Thor, I can’t let anyone else suffer him taking their body. It wouldn’t be right.”

“Mother and Bestla had created a spell to trap Cul but Mimir dispelled it before they could activate it. I think they are trying to rebuild it but I don’t know enough about the spellwork to know if they’ll be able to.”

“And if they can’t? Thor, I—” Loki hissed as the wound in his side flared with pain. He broke out into a cold sweat and breathed through his nose until the pain passed. “Thor, I don’t know how much time I have left.”

“Loki—”

“I’m _dying_ Thor,” Loki said, feeling his eyes water not from pain, but from sadness. “I’ve felt my spirit growing weaker ever since he stabbed me.”

Thor gripped his arms tightly, “No, you will not die Loki. I won’t let you. The woman who pulled Mimir from his body, Father said she was our sister.”

“Hela,” Loki nodded. “She pulled Mimir from his body?”

Thor nodded. “Maybe she can do the same for you,” he suggested.

Loki winced, “Doubtful. Cul did something to control her; she’s forced to do whatever he orders.” With Mimir and Cul locked in combat, seemingly oblivious to anything else around them Loki knew they had to act. “Thor,” Loki said, catching his brother’s eye, “I’m sorry Thor, for everything.”

“What are you talking about?” Thor asked, panic filtering into his voice. “You had better not be thinking—”

“I let the Jötnar into the Vault to disrupt your coronation,” he interrupted, unable to meet his brother’s eyes any longer. “I didn’t think you were ready to be king and I was angry and frustrated that no one would listen to me when I voiced my concerns but… I never should have done it and I’m sorry.”

“You were right,” Thor said much to Loki’s surprise, “I wasn’t ready to be king. I’m still not but when this is over I hope you will help me to become ready or, you know,” Thor shrugged, “you could be king. Technically you do have a stronger claim to it.” Thor sobered, his expression turning sad. “I should be the one apologizing to you brother. It should not have taken this for me, or anyone for that matter, to see the pain you were in.

“I’m selfish, arrogant, reckless and I have a terrible habit of not seeing what’s important even when it’s right in front of my eyes. I don’t think before I act and I have taken you for granted far too often and I know I don’t say it enough but,” Thor’s eyes shined with unshed tears, “I _do_ love you Loki, never doubt that. You are and will always be my brother.”

Loki had to blink back his own tears. Thor had said as much what seemed like a lifetime ago and yet, Loki _still_ found his chest tightening at Thor’s words. There was a small part of himself that hated his need for Thor’s affection while the rest of him basked in it.

Loki pressed his lips together to keep himself from weeping but was unable to prevent a few traitorous tears from escaping. “We both have our faults,” Loki said once he was able, “but even with them; you are still the only brother I would ever ask for.”

“Helblindi might fight you on that.”

Loki smiled then bent to peek around the pillar. Cul and Mimir’s battle had taken them further into the memory of the Vault.

“I’ll cover you,” Thor said, squeezing Loki’s shoulder. Fenris gave a soft woof as well.

Loki gave himself a quick mental count then rushed from their hiding place and towards the chamber. The body still hung within, it’s eyes tracking his movements once Loki was spotted. Loki conjured something to stand on along with a long metal rod, which he shoved in the hole of one of the anchors in the wall. Loki pulled but to his dismay, it didn’t even wiggle.

_“No!”_

Loki barely had time to react before his vision whited out once more.

* * *

With a cry, Cul pushed Thor away from him and sprung to his feet. Thor sprung up also and when he turned, Odin realized there was something wrong with his eyes.

When Thor spoke, it was not his voice, which passed his lips. “I _liked_ that body,” Mimir growled.

Cul called forth more weapons, “Don’t bother getting used to this one.” He slashed at Mimir, only to have the other man drive him back with a fierce punch to the chest. His breath left him in a great whoosh and for a moment, Cul struggled to breathe.

Mimir didn’t even bother trying to lift Mjölnir, instead reaching for a weapon dropped by one of the fallen Einherjar. He pressed the blade against Cul’s neck. “I will enjoy this.” He drew the back the blade, ready to strike.

Odin rushed forward, intent on stopping Mimir but he was too slow. The blade found its mark but instead of decapitation, Cul disappeared in a shimmer of green. The momentum of the swing caused Mimir to lose his footing. Cul reappeared behind Mimir and with a shove, caused the man to completely lose his balance. Mimir tumbled to the floor and the blade skittered away.

Mimir scrambled quickly to his feet and his eyes glowed white with lightening. “You are not the only one who has access to their vessel’s power.” He sent a blast of lightning at Cul however, the power was uncontrolled and it sent all those nearby flying.

Odin hit the ground hard, the dagger he’d been holding sliding across the floor far out of his reach. He heard Frigga let out an expletive he’d _never_ expected to pass her lips. Glancing in her direction, he saw that Mimir’s strike had completely destroyed the spellwork she had been trying to repair.

Mimir stood in an epicenter of fallen bodies. Lightning continued to swirl and crackle about his form, causing Thor to appear demon-like. Odin refrained from letting out a cry of rage. All three of his children had been twisted from who they were by Mimir. Of the many monsters Odin had ever faced, himself included, Mimir was the worst of them all.

Mimir held out a hand and Odin heard before he saw the dagger fly towards his open palm. Mimir inspected the inscription upon the blade. “Excellent craftsmanship,” he said, caressing the blade with his other hand. “Yes, this…” he threw another blast at Cul, causing his muscles to seize from the electricity running through him, “this will do nicely.”

Odin scrambled to his feet and, thanking his luck at finding Gungnir nearby, stepped between Mimir and his brother. He pointed the spear at Mimir. “You will not use that on him.”

“Why not? You were going to.”

Odin shook his head, “I would have found another way.”

The glow to Mimir’s eyes dimmed enough to reveal his iris once more. They flickered to the tip of Gungnir then back up to Odin. “You won’t use that on me. You wouldn’t risk harming your golden son.”

“Thor will survive,” Odin replied, “and he will understand.”

“Perhaps and yet I cannot help but wonder why you would risk harming your true son in order to protect your sister’s spawn.”

_“Loki is my son!”_ Odin yelled, grip tightening on Gungnir’s handle. “Thor _and_ Loki are both my _true_ sons. Nothing will ever change that and I defy _anyone_ who would deny it.”

“Well as… _interesting_ as this conversation has been,” Mimir’s eyes began to glow once again, “I really do have to kill him now.”

“I’m sorry Thor,” Odin said and let loose a blast from Gungnir. Mimir tumbled backwards, the dagger falling from his grip as he did so to clatter upon the floor.

“Hela!” Cul screeched. _“Kill him.”_

Hela’s fingers tightened around the black tendrils, which had continued to swirl around them. Odin realized the tendril still led to Thor and with a yank of her arm, the orb that had penetrated his eldest son left his body. All of Thor’s power that Mimir had displayed vanished. Thor pulled himself up to his elbows and looked up just in time to see Hela yank on the orb again, and it flew into her grasp. Cracks began to form where her nails dug into it and Odin swore he could hear Mimir screaming.

Hela opened her hand again, allowing the orb to float just above her palm. For a moment, Odin feared Mimir may try to escape again but realized there was no way he could. Mimir seemed as if he was tethered to Hela and… was that color returning to his daughter’s cheeks.

The rumble of thunder echoed through the throne room and Odin belatedly realized all sounds of battle had stopped. The Einherjar stood frozen in place, some mid-swing and where Hela seemed to be gaining life, the dead Einherjar seemed to be turning to ash. With one last, deafening roar the orb burst apart, its remnants falling to the floor with soft twinkling sounds.

“Is he dead?” Stark asked, breaking the silence that had fallen over them all.

“I cannot see Mimir’s life force,” Heimdall replied.

“You can do that?”

“Mimir is dead,” said Cul, drawing everyone’s focus upon him. “His power is gone.”

Odin braced himself to face his brother and turned, “Cul.”

“Father.”

* * *

“What are you doing, insolent boy!”

After Loki had regained his senses, he realized Thor and Mimir were gone and so was the manifestation of Cul’s spirit. In all of the confusion, he’d seen what was going on outside of his mind and he’d seen the weapon Mimir had planned to use on him. The chains holding Cul fast had begun to loosen but Loki quickly grabbed at them, keeping Cul bound within.

“What are you doing, let go!”

“No!” Loki yelled, struggling to keep hold of them. “Fenris, help me please!”

Fenris grabbed at the chains with her strong jaws and pulled. Cul screamed as they grew tighter around him.

“I’m not letting you free,” Loki said, wrapping one of the chains around his arm.

“I thought you wanted me gone. That was the whole point of finding the root.”

“I do want you gone,” Loki let out a cry as he forced one of the hooks into his own shoulder, “but I won’t risk you harming anyone anymore.”

“I’ll kill you.”

“Then I’ll see you in Hel!”

* * *

Odin’s heart stopped when he saw green eyes staring back at him. They began to flicker rapidly between green and red. Loki’s body trembled from the battle that raged from within him. Terror spiked within Odin when he realized Loki had the blade Mimir had dropped pointed at his own chest. “Loki.”

“Father I…”

“Loki,” Odin held out a hand, “give me the knife.”

Loki shook his head and his lips trembled. “I can’t.” Loki’s grip tightened around the hilt. “Papa, I’m sorry.” Before Odin could react, Loki plunged the blade into his own chest.

Odin heard screams and realized one of them was his own. A look of surprise seemed to flit across Loki’s face at what he had done and then he began to fall. Odin caught him and gently lowered his son to the ground, holding him with one arm while trying to stem the blood flow from his wound with his other hand.

“Oh you stupid, stupid boy,” Odin chastised, the waver in his voice belaying any anger to his words. “What have you done?”

“I couldn’t— couldn’t let,” Loki struggled for breath and he whimpered from his pain, “let him get free.”

Thor, “Loki!”

Frigga, _“Loki!”_

Stark, “Oh shit.”

Frigga fell to her knees beside Odin, reaching for Loki. “No! No, no, no, no…”

Thor scrambled to Loki’s other side. “Get a healer, now!” he ordered.

Odin heard someone running from the room, presumably to carry out Thor’s order. The clear crystal which made up the pommel of the blade started to glow. Black mist began to swirl within.

“Cul’s spirit,” Loki gasped, fingers tightening around the hilt.

Odin brushed Loki’s hair away from his face. “You will be all right.”

Loki shook his head, “No.” His expression held such sadness. “He’s trying…” a ragged breath, “escape. I won’t… let him. You have to…” more struggled breathing, “let me… die.”

Helblindi’s petrified voice reached Odin’s ears. “No, Loki!”

Býleistr caught the boy before he could reach Loki. “You don’t need to see that.”

“But Bý,” cried Helblindi, “he’s our brother.”

“I know,” Býleistr replied, his own voice full of pain, “I know.”

“Papa.” Odin returned his gaze back to Loki. “Papa, I’m sorry,” Loki said.

“You’ve nothing to be sorry for.”

The darker the crystal turned, the paler Loki became. “You’re my… you’re my…” Loki’s gaze started to lose focus. “I’m cold.”

Thor removed his cape and draped it over Loki. “Don’t give up brother,” pled Thor.

Loki smiled slightly, “But I won.” He struggled to shift his head. “Papa… Mama… I… I lo…”

Loki’s eyes lost focus completely, the green shifting to become a dull red while his porcelain skin gave way to a bluish gray. His heritage lines were so pale they were almost white. The oroborus, which had adorned his neck for so long, vanished completely.

It took Odin a long moment to realize his son was gone. He kept expecting another struggling inhale, for Loki to finish his thought. As gently as he could, he removed the dagger from Loki’s chest. The gem at the pommel was completely black and Odin tossed it away in disgust. Very gently, he closed Loki’s eyes then pulled his son close and cried.

Frigga’s anguished wails utterly destroyed Odin. Thor’s head was pressed against his shoulder from where his son wept over his brother. Loki had died a warrior’s death, worthy of Valhalla and yet Odin could not find it in himself to be happy about that. This was his child and he had failed him. Why couldn’t it have been Odin who was taken? Why did Loki have to pay the price?

Odin became aware of Stark’s frantic voice trying to get their attention.

“Guys… guys…” There was fear in Stark’s voice, “uh guys. She’s still moving.”

Odin sat up and turned his head to see what Stark was talking about. Hela lurched towards them although she seemed to be becoming smoother in her walk. She came to a stop beside Odin and knelt down. Her hair now hung loose around her head and the one eye he could see had cleared. She smiled at him then held up her hands where she cradled a softly glowing green orb.

Hela’s gaze turned to Loki, her expression becoming quite fond. She reached out with one hand to press against Loki’s cheek.

“Hela?” Odin asked.

Her smile grew wider and Odin could see the happy girl she had once been, before Cul had sunk his claws into her. She pulled her hand back, cupping the orb she held once again. She drew it close and seemed to whisper to it though Odin never heard a sound. The orb drifted away, turning mist like as it did so and disappeared once it reached Loki.

“Odin,” Frigga gasped.

Odin had seen it too. Loki’s skin was slowly returning to its pale Æsir color, the wound in his chest closing and then…

Loki breathed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you have any idea how hard it was to get that damn dagger into Loki's hand?


	25. Twenty-Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki recovers from the battle. Stark and Loki _finally_ meet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twenty-Five chapters...
> 
> Haha, I lied.
> 
> Next one... the next chapter (an epilogue) _should_ be the last. I say "should" because if anyone reading this followed along with Not in Kansas Anymore then you know how many times I kept adding chapters. 
> 
> A little angst with some hurt/comfort ahead. Just saying.

**_Twenty-Five_ **

Loki lay curled up on something soft. He felt nice and cozy, the heavy blankets giving him the sensation of being held. He snuggled down further within the comfy blankets and drifted off once more.

He would partially awaken every now and again, only to fall back asleep near instantly. At one point his eyes fluttered, trying to open but someone brushed their fingers through his hair and with a soft whisper a woman said, “Go back to sleep little brother. You’re safe now.” So he did.

When Loki finally roused enough to actually open his eyes and become aware of his surroundings, the room was not completely dark. It took him a moment to realize he lay in his own bed and even longer to realize he was not alone. Someone sat in a chair at his bedside and someone else, a few someone’s actually, were on the bed with him.

“Good morning sleeping beauty,” the man in the chair said, his voice soft so as not to arouse the others. “Welcome back to the land of the conscious.” The man frowned, “Well maybe it’s morning, I don’t exactly know. It’s dark out but my watch is still set for west coast time so,” he shrugged, “I could be wrong.”

Loki’s brows furrowed in confusion. Why in the name of the Norns was Tony Stark in his bedroom? Was he dreaming? If that was the case then the question became, why was he dreaming about Tony Stark. Nothing made sense!

Loki shifted slightly and realized his right foot was asleep. Frowning, he lifted his head up just a bit and saw… yep, that was a head using his ankle as a pillow. Whoever it was, was snoring terribly. Loki fought the urge to kick them.

“You’ve been out cold for the past few days,” Stark explained. “Your family’s been keeping watch over you and I finally convinced them I’d keep an eye on you. I also told them I’d wake them if you woke up but,” Stark shrugged again, “they need sleep too.”

Stark gestured with his head at something behind Loki. Loki carefully turned his head to see what Stark had motioned to and saw both of his parents were on the bed behind him. His mother lay behind him while his father sat against the headboard. Both of them were fast asleep.

Loki shifted his foot when the pins and needles feeling became too much. The head on his ankle slipped to the mattress and the snores cut off with a snort. There was some grumbling and he saw Thor sit up, blinking bleary eyes around the room. His gaze landed on Stark, who blew a kiss at him. Thor’s look of utter confusion had Loki snickering.

Thor’s head whipped around at the sound. Thor blinked rapidly, as though he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “Loki?” Thor asked, followed by, “Loki!”

Loki let out a yelp when Thor crawled up the bed to squish him in a hug. His loud voice and the movements woke everyone else in the room. The sudden flurry of activity had Loki scrambling to sit up just so he could breathe. He was surprised when he could move without any pain in his chest but… why would he have pain?

His mother was fretting over him while his father appeared as though he was preparing to utter some very stern words. There were a few other people he didn’t recognize and…

Loki scrambled back, eyes wide, when he spotted the blue skin of a Jötunn. Why was there a monster…

“Loki?” the Jötunn asked, expression filling with hurt.

“He’s going to have a panic attack if you guys keep crowding him like that,” Stark said, his voice the clearest among all of the others. “Give him a second.”

The room went silent and Loki mentally thanked Stark. His mother continued to run her fingers through his hair, which helped also. It gave Loki a moment to try to collect his thoughts.

The Jötunn appeared on the verge of tears. “You do hate me, don’t you?”

“He’s probably just startled from seeing your ugly mug when he first woke up,” said… a _second_ Jötunn.

The first Jötunn’s lip trembled, “That’s not funny Bý.”

Loki thought he must still be dreaming. It made the most sense. A Jötunn would _never_ make it into the palace without aid nor would his parents and brother be _snuggling_ with him. He wasn’t quite sure where the Midgardian fit into all of this. Remind him never to eat… whatever he’d eaten at dinner again because it caused strange dreams. What _did_ he have for dinner last night?

“His memories will be a little foggy Helblindi,” said a female voice he couldn’t quite place. “He may not remember you at the moment.”

Loki’s eyes fell upon the owner of the voice. Confusion and… _happiness_ washed over him when he saw she was alive. Her hair was pulled back from her face to reveal one clear eye and one milky white eye. He remembered, the last time he’d seen her entire face; half of it had been like a corpse. Was it possible he _wasn’t_ dreaming?

His mother had yet to stop running her fingers through his hair. If she kept that up, he’d be asleep again soon enough. He was reluctant to have her stop though. “What’s going on?” ventured Loki.

“You’ve had a terrible experience,” his mother replied, her voice wavering slightly, “but you are safe now.”

“What’s the last thing you remember?” his father asked.

Loki went to reply but realized he had absolutely no idea. He wracked his brain for something _, anything,_ but came up empty. “Um, Thor’s coronation is in a few days.”

The wide-eyed stares he received told him that was not the correct answer.

“Loki that… that was almost eight months ago,” Thor said.

That couldn’t be right. He distinctly recalled the preparations for the coronation. “What are you talking about? You’ve just arrived from your hunting trip yesterday.”

“No, I haven’t.”

“So you’re king now? Why don’t I don’t remember it?” His eyes flitted to the Jötnar for a moment. He recalled the plan he’d thought to put into motion to disrupt the coronation but it had obviously failed, unless the Jötnar were prisoners. That didn’t explain why they were in his room though.

“You remember nothing beyond that?” asked his mother.

“I… I remember something about father wanting to name Thor ‘fish’ wherever that came from.”

Thor’s eyebrows shot up, “What?”

Was that color entering his father’s cheeks? “We’ll come back to that later,” Odin said. “Do you remember anything else?”

_“Hi, I’m_ _Helblindi. I’m your little brother. Maybe not little. I am your youngest brother. Bý is here too but he’s all angry at mormor for something. Bý’s always grumpy.”_

Loki’s eyebrows pulled together as he regarded the Jötunn who still looked ready to cry. He suddenly recalled meeting the boy but he was unable to recall the circumstances, which had led to their meeting. “Was I on Jötunheim?”

By his parent’s hesitation and Thor’s guilty look, he knew he had been. _Why_ had he been on Jötunheim?

_“Don’t let them touch you!”_

Loki’s left arm began to ache. He could feel a sort of phantom pain so he held it up to inspect it, looking for any discoloration of the skin. It appeared normal although he couldn’t understand why he’d half expected it to be blue.

_“Am I cursed?”_

_“You’re my son.”_

Loki swallowed hard, forcing back the sudden nausea he felt. He remembered… He, unfortunately, remembered _that_. How could he have forgotten?

Stark rose from his seat and Loki glanced his way before returning his gaze to his hand. With his right, he rubbed at the palm of his left. He couldn’t look at anyone. They all must have known, it could possibly explain the Jötunn in his room. As for Thor and his parents, how could they stand to look at him?

Stark moved away from the chair and Loki found himself following his movement. Stark went over to Helblindi and put a hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t we go find a better place to sleep? Loki’s looking kind of overwhelmed and I think he needs to have a good talk with his mom and dad.

“Stark’s right,” said an Æsir woman Loki didn’t recognize.

“But mother,” Helblindi argued.

“Loki is very overwhelmed at the moment,” the woman he now knew to be Farbauti said. “Hela has said he needs time for his memories to return to him. Be patient Blindi. I’m sure Loki will remember you soon.”

Loki couldn’t help but notice the physical similarities between him and Farbauti. He knew now there was no denying she was his birth mother, even though he wanted nothing more than to do so.

Helblindi pouted but did as his mother asked. They all filed out of the room until the only ones left with Loki were Thor and his parents. An awkward silence seemed to fall upon them.

Loki suddenly felt stifled and pushed back his blankets to sit on the side of his bed. Loki’s emotions were so wild he was unsure of what exactly he was feeling. What he did know was that his heart was beating wildly in his chest. He felt he should say something but no words came to him.

_What’s happened? Silver tongue turned to lead?_

_Why yes,_ he thought, _yes it has._

It ended up being Thor who broke the silence. “Brother?” there was obvious worry in Thor’s voice.

Loki glanced sideways at Thor but couldn’t bring himself to look at him fully. _You would still call me brother?_

_“I don’t care where you were born or to whom. You will_ always _be my brother.”_

He felt the bed shift and heard movement but didn’t turn to look to see what was happening. He continued to pick at his hand, to the point where the skin turned red from the abuse. It was Odin’s hand covering his own which got Loki to stop. With his other hand, Odin gently tipped Loki’s head up so they could see one another. He saw Frigga’s worried gaze out of the corner of his eye.

“You remember learning where you were born?” Odin asked. Loki nodded, blinking back sudden tears. “What are you thinking?”

“Nothing,” Loki said, glad his voice did not give away the turmoil boiling inside of him.

“I know this bothers you.”

“No—”

“Loki, you do very well in hiding when things are troubling you. You tell everyone you are fine and you do a convincing enough job that no one questions it but I _know_ you are _not_ fine. You’re confused, hurt, panicking and afraid that I took you for nothing more than to use you for some sort of purpose. I didn’t. I took you because you were alone, cold and hungry and if I had left you there you would have died.

“You’re afraid that you are a monster. You’re afraid there is something inherently evil about you simply because you are Jötunn by birth. Loki, _none_ of that is true. I will forever curse my inability to hold off the Odinsleep long enough to tell you this and to reassure you that no matter how you came to be with us, you will always be our son.”

“But I’m not,” Loki said, “I’m not your son.”

Odin shrugged, “If you wish to be literal about it then, no, you’re not my son. You’re my nephew.”

All of Loki’s thoughts skidded to a halt. “What?”

“By blood, you’re my nephew. Farbauti is my sister.” Odin let out a sigh, “Granted _I_ didn’t remember that until recently. It all has to do with everything that’s happened and it is much too late to even try getting into tonight.”

Loki was still trying to process what his father had just said. He had to have misheard because there was no way Jötunn blood was _anywhere_ in the line of Odin.

“Loki?” his mother asked. “Dearheart, please say something.”

“You’re Jötunn?” Loki blurted in disbelief.

“Yes Loki, I’m Jötunn,” his father replied. “Well, half Jötunn. My mother is Jötunn; I carry Jötunn blood and so does Thor. The reason I never told you this was because I didn’t think it was important. As for why your mother and I never told you about your origins, we feared for your safety. Remember, the war with Jötunheim had just ended and there was anger on both sides. Your mother and I refused to have anyone take their anger of Jötunheim out on you. You were a _baby_ Loki, only a few hours old when I found you. You were the most innocent of anyone on that battlefield.”

“None of this changes who you are,” his mother added.

“Doesn’t it?” asked Loki. “I thought I was Æsir and then I find out I’m not, that I’m actually a Frost Giant.”

Thor made a face, almost as though he had a thought. He ended up looking constipated instead. “Tiny giant,” Thor said, holding up a hand a little ways above the floor. “Helblindi’s taller than you are.” He made exaggerated movements until he came to sit beside Loki and threw an arm around Loki’s shoulders. Thor held up his other hand, thumb and forefinger nearly touching. “You’re a tiny giant.” Thor sighed, “I’ll be glad when your memories return. I don’t want to go through this conversation again but I will if I have to.”

“Thor’s right honey,” Frigga said, “and so is your father. We’ve had this conversation before and it is much too late to have it again.” She took his face in her hands and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “We’ll talk more in the morning and hopefully more of your memories will have returned by then.”

“You’re leaving?” Loki asked. He hated the sudden panic that rose in his chest at the thought of being alone.

Thor let out a snort. “Hardly.” Loki yelped when Thor pulled him further back onto the bed. His brother wrapped himself around Loki like some sort of octopus. “You’re stuck with us.”

Loki was glad his face was partially obscured by a pillow because he could feel his cheeks heating with embarrassment when his mother _tucked them in,_ then moved to lie down beside them. His father lay on the other side of Thor and Loki, though he would deny it to his dying breath, had never felt safer or more loved by his family then in that moment.

* * *

The following days were strange for Loki, to say the least. The first morning after waking with his family all cuddled in his bed, again he would forever deny how much he’d enjoyed and needed that, he’d been surprised to find Fandral and Volstagg standing guard outside his rooms. The startled and, quite frankly, frightened looks the two warriors exchanged would have been hilarious had Loki not been trying to figure out _why_ they were outside of his rooms.

He thought perhaps they had been looking for Thor yet that didn’t explain the guarded positions they’d held. When he’d finally just asked what they were doing, both turned so red that their complexion matched the color of Volstagg’s beard. After an embarrassing amount of sputtering, they finally explained they were guarding _him_. They weren’t even friends, hardly tolerated each other matter of fact, so why would they have taken it upon themselves to guard him?

Volstagg and Fandral explained their reasoning, wanting to forge a true friendship and not the illusion of one that had been there before. Loki wasn’t sure he could trust their sincerity but he didn’t outright reject their offer either. That came as much of a surprise to him as it did them.

Little by little, Loki’s memories surrounding the events of the past _eight months_ came back to him. He would have liked if they’d returned in order instead of at random but he was thankful they were coming back at all. When Loki had finally remembered Hela, he’d done something others would have found out of character, he’d pulled her into a tight hug and thanked her for everything she’d done while he’d been trapped by Cul.

He had yet to learn what had happened in the aftermath of the battle and no one was willing to tell him anything until his memories of those events returned. The not knowing was slowly driving him crazy and as painful as some of the memories were, there were many good memories as well.

He was a bit confused at first by the continued presence of Tony Stark. The Midgardian’s role had been explained to him and Loki was grateful to Stark for all he had done and yet…

Loki looked up from the book he was attempting to read to find Stark stepping up to the tree Loki sat under. He slowly closed his book. “Can I help you with something?”

Stark plopped down beside him. “I don’t know, maybe. Actually, I think I’m lost,” he shrugged and lay back on the grass, “but the company’s good so I’m not going to complain.”

“How do you know I’m good company? You don’t know me.”

“Meh,” Stark replied, folding his arms under his head. “Que sera and all that.”

“You came looking for me on purpose.”

“Okay, guilty. I figured I’d give you some time to adjust to being yourself again before I bugged you into being my friend but I’m impatient and bored so, here I am.”

It took Loki a moment to process the man’s words. “Friend?”

Stark blew out a breath, “That’s what I said. We might not have had the chance yet to get to know each other but from everything Thor has told me, I feel like I know you already.”

“Oh,” Loki fingered the pages of the book, “then why would you want to be my friend? Thor is more likable than me.”

Stark’s eyebrows shot up. “Are you kidding me?” He rose up onto his elbows. “The more Thor told me, the more I wanted to meet you.”

That didn’t seem right. Loki was not exactly friend material. Everything that made Thor likable, Loki was not. Loki rubbed everyone the wrong way, even if he wasn’t trying to. He’d even convinced himself that he didn’t need friends. He had Thor, sometimes, and that was enough.

Stark sat up further, “Seriously, do you not know how awesome you are?” The man’s jaw dropped when Loki remained silent. “Look, the whole time I was with Thor, you were pretty much the only thing he talked about. I think it was therapeutic for him but the guy has you on a pedestal. Same with Helblindi and I got the impression he hadn’t known you all that long. Kid practically worships you.

“Then there was the way you Obi-Wan Kenobi’d your way onto my plane so you could tell us about Mimir and Cul. You _have_ to tell me how you did that, by the way. I mean, for God’s sake, you have _actual_ magic. You can shapeshift and obviously astral project yourself and I’m dying to know what else you can do.” Stark grabbed Loki’s arm and shook it. “I must knooooow, you have to tell meeeee.”

Loki fought the urge to smile at Stark’s antics. “You… you find my seiðr intriguing?”

Stark stopped the shaking. “Seiðr, that’s what your magic is called? Neat, sounds all mystically. I like it. Anyway, as I was saying, yes I want to know everything but not just about your magic. I want to actually get to know you so you’re now my new best friend. Don’t bother fighting me on that, you won’t win.”

“I don’t know, I can be quite stubborn.”

“Me too,” Stark smirked at him, “but I’m always up for a challenge. Although you have to admit, you’re a trickster and I’m a prankster, we’d make an awesome team.”

Despite himself, Loki grinned. “Then I suppose friends it is.”

“Awesome so…” Stark’s expression turned conspiratorial. “I brought something up to Thor a while ago and by his reaction I know there are a lot of juicy details so I just have to get it from the source. Tell me _all_ about Thor’s wedding.”

* * *

Later that night Loki found himself roaming the halls of the palace. Sleep eluded him and he decided he would rather be moving then staring up at his ceiling. He’d tried reading but, unfortunately, he could not concentrate on the words. After reading the same paragraph multiple times, Loki gave up and put his book aside.

He let his mind wander back to earlier in the day. He’d had fun telling Stark the story he’d requested. Loki may have embellished it just a little but the man had nearly keeled over laughing when Loki had created an illusion of Thor in the wedding dress. Loki could not remember a time when anyone beyond children was so enthralled by his seiðr.

Thor had been awed when they were children but he’d grown out of it since the use of seiðr was considered dishonorable. It was something Loki hadn’t fully understood since his father was known to use seiðr.

Loki shook his head, forcibly keeping his thoughts from spiraling downward. He did remember Thor admitting to him that he’d never lost his fascination with Loki’s seiðr, even if he had pretended otherwise. He knew Thor had spoken the truth then, especially since Thor was a terrible liar, which begged the question of how Loki hadn’t seen it before.

At the sound of voices, Loki slowed his steps. He wasn’t particularly interested in running into anyone. The constant, “how are you doing?” and “are you all right?” was beginning to grate on him.

Loki cast a quick spell over himself, making his steps completely silent and cloaking himself from anyone’s sight. He moved closer to where the voices were coming from and peeked around the corner, laying his eyes upon the owners.

Thor, Sif and Hogun stood in the hallway and Thor… did not look pleased. Loki had been told that both Sif and Hogun had fallen prey to Cul’s influence and had been held on Jötunheim until recently. While Loki was thankful that they, and everyone else Cul had ensnared were free, he wasn’t going to go out of his way to see them. He would have thought that Thor would be happy to see his friends again.

Instead, Thor appeared overly frustrated with them, if the tightness of his shoulders was anything to go by.

“Why do you avoid us?” Sif asked as she stepped into Thor’s path.

“I’ve been busy,” Thor replied and attempted to move around her.

Sif caught his arm. “Busy with what? Hogun and I had been trapped on Jötunheim for _months_ and you abandoned us there. We’re lucky to even be alive.”

“The Jötnar would not have harmed you, so long as you did not give them reason to. Neither of you were yourself and I had to save my brother.”

“Loki is _not_ your brother,” Sif snapped.

“I’m not about to have this argument,” Thor said, finally sidestepping Sif. He stopped and turned back to her. From this angle, Loki could clearly see his brother’s face and the look of rage Thor aimed at Sif was like nothing Loki had ever seen before.

“I’m sorry I hadn’t been able to do more for you,” Thor said. “I’m sorry you had to wait until Cul was defeated to be freed but I am _not_ sorry about the choices I made. I told you then that if it came down to the choice between you and Loki that I was going to choose Loki. I thought you were my friend Sif, I thought you were Loki’s friend but,” Thor shook his head, “your jealously of him is something I willfully overlooked and I’m _done_ doing so.”

“Loki will only drag you down. It is Loki who has always been jealous of you. Your misplaced affection for him makes you blind Thor. If you think for one second that he would ever do anything to help you—”

“Loki has saved our lives many times over.”

Sif blew out a sharp breath and looked to Hogun for help. The Vanir warrior continued to remain silent until, finally, “Loki has saved our lives on occasion,” Hogun intoned. “However, such times were rare. Often, our lives were put in danger due to his folly.”

“No,” Thor replied, “it wasn’t. It was our own mistakes that put us in those situations where it was put on Loki to rescue us. Loki was always our strategist, always the one to advise caution and _we_ were the ones who charged forward without thinking. If anything… this whole thing with Cul was my fault.”

Loki’s jaw dropped. Thor blamed himself for what had happened to Loki? Sure, Thor had run off to Jötunheim in a rage after his failed coronation but it had been Loki who had instigated it by bringing the Jötunn to Asgard in the first place. It had been Loki’s actions, which had caused events to unfold as they had.

“Loki let Cul take him of his own volition,” Sif argued. “He did it for his own gain. He wanted Asgard for himself and when he couldn’t take it on his own he had Cul do it for him.”

Thor looked at her in disbelief. “I can’t… You honestly believe that? You really think Loki would have willingly allowed himself to be trapped within his own mind, to suffer as he did and for what? For power? For a throne he has more legal claim to than I do? Loki never wanted a throne and Cul tricked him so he could steal his body.”

“He tried to kill you.”

“Cul did, yes but if you’re talking about the Destroyer, Loki had no control over that. He was sick then, remember? I don’t blame Loki for what happened and neither should you.”

“You are not listening Thor,” Sif sighed. “Fandral and Volstagg would agree with us.”

“No, they wouldn’t. They want to be Loki’s friends and are actually trying.” Several emotions played out across Thor’s face. “I would love for you both to be Loki’s friends as well. I want the friendship I thought we had but if this is going to be the attitude you have towards my brother than I don’t think we can be friends anymore.”

That statement stunned him even more than Thor blaming himself for what had happened to Loki. Thor, Sif and the Warriors Three had all been friends for centuries. That his brother would think to sever ties with them… While he appreciated the sentiment, he couldn’t let Thor give up his friends for Loki’s sake. Thor shouldn’t have to. If Loki could not befriend Sif and the Warriors, that was his problem, not Thor’s. Thor shouldn’t—

“Do you know,” Thor asked softly, “that it was Loki’s actions that freed you and everyone else from Cul’s influence? He died saving you.”

Sif scoffed, “It was an illusion Thor.”

“He stabbed himself in the chest,” Thor retorted, anger lacing his words. He clenched his hands into fists, “He kept Cul’s spirit tethered to himself until he died. It was the only way to ensure Cul’s spirit couldn’t escape and was instead trapped within the blade he stabbed himself with. I was helpless and could do nothing but watch my brother die. All of my power, ‘The Mighty Thor’,” he scoffed, “and I couldn’t do anything to help him.”

Loki’s hand shot to his chest and he recalled his confusion as to the lack of pain upon his first waking. He stumbled away as that pain returned to him now along with the memory of the blade piercing his flesh. He missed whatever remained of Thor’s conversation as he fled.

Loki wasn’t sure how far he ran but eventually his legs gave out and he crumpled to the floor, his chest heaving as he tried to draw breath. He remembered it all now, as though the floodgates to his missing memories had opened completely. He remembered _everything,_ Jötunheim, his illness, the confrontation with Farbauti and all that had happened while trapped inside his mind. He recalled the fear he’d felt waking up in that cell, thinking himself only but a child.

He’d been so alone, frightened beyond belief but… he hadn’t been alone for long. Hela had found him, reassured him and left Fenris to protect him.

_“_ _You are not alone little brother.”_

Seeing Cul for the first time had not only terrified him, it had galvanized him into escaping the cell and Hela had been impressed with his jailbreak. He recalled the happy memories Hela had shown him as they’d run from Cul while also searching for his root. He was glad he had those now but then there was…

_“Am I cursed?”_

Those events had his heart racing again. The fight that had taken place within the memory of the Vault… He’d done what he’d had to and if he were forced to make the choice again he would make the same one. Loki did not regret his decision so why couldn’t he breathe? Spots were beginning to dance across his vision and Loki was embarrassed to realize he was about to pass out.

He thought he heard someone calling his name but the voices seemed to come from far away. The vice gripping his chest finally loosened and when his vision cleared he saw Hela kneeling down in front of him. Loki realized he was sitting up though not on his own. Thor sat behind him, leaning Loki against him and attempting to pry Loki’s fingers from the death grip they had on his tunic. “Hela?” Loki gasped, “Thor?”

“We’re here little brother,” Hela replied. “Just breathe.”

“What happened?” Thor asked.

Hela shot Thor a look, eyebrow raised then returned her attention to him. “Answer when you can. For now, deep breaths.” She took a long inhale and exhaled slowly. She did this a few times and Loki fought to match her rhythm. Finally, his breathing began to even out. “There you go.”

“I remember,” Loki said breathlessly. His fingers twitched where they still lay against his chest. “I remember everything.” Hela’s expression softened and Thor squeezed him gently. Tears blurred Loki’s vision. “I died.”

“You did,” Hela said with a nod, “but only for a moment.”

“H-how am I a-alive?”

“I’m the Goddess of Death. I wasn’t about to let you stay dead. I captured your spirit before it could make for Valhalla and returned it to your body.”

“But my wound?”

“Healed when your soul returned. I know you tried to entwine your spirit with Cul’s to ensure he didn’t escape. Doing so made your death unnatural. You weren’t _meant_ to die that day Loki. You have many millennia ahead of you.”

“How are you alive?”

“I’m not,” Hela shrugged, “not completely. I’m alive and I’m dead.” She gestured to her milky white eye. It was on the side of her face he remembered being corpselike. “This part of me is dead while this part,” she pointed to her good eye, “is alive. I was always meant to straddle the line between life and death. I thought Cul had taken that from me when he’d ‘killed’ me. Cul used the Eternal Flame on all of us within the palace tomb. I didn’t know it at the time but his doing so allowed that little spark he’d kept alive to flourish. Her good eye sparkled with mirth. “I know father is glad we are all here but I think it’s a good thing his hair has already turned white because if it wasn’t, it would be soon.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Well, you and Thor have done a good job of it already—”

“Hey,” Thor cried.

There went the eyebrow again. “I may have been dead but I was still able to watch you from the veil. I _know_ the trouble you get yourself into little brother. Both of you. Now he not only has us three to bother him but also Helblindi and Stark.”

“Stark?” Loki asked. “Why would Stark give father gray hair?”

“Many things can be explained,” Thor said, “Stark is not one of them.”

Loki felt laughter bubble up in his chest. He realized the tightness he’d felt earlier was gone. It was freeing. _He_ was free.

That knowledge brought forth another question. Loki knew Cul’s spirit had been trapped within the dagger he’d plunged into his chest but he didn’t know what had become of Cul afterwards. He asked if either of them knew.

“Cul is dead,” Hela informed him. “I destroyed his spirit in the same manner I destroyed Mimir. There is no way for Cul to ever return.”

Loki hadn’t realized how much he needed to hear that. His whole body sagged in relief. Thor’s arms tightened around him and Loki let his head fall back against Thor’s shoulder.

“He controlled you,” Loki said, remembering Hela fighting to keep from harming him.

“The blood tie dissolved once he was trapped within the pommel,” Hela explained. She smiled affectionately. “You saved me, little brother. You saved us all.”

“The bard’s will be singing tales of your heroism for millennia,” Thor added.

Loki snorted. “Right, I can hear it now; ‘Loki: An Ergi’s Tale’.”

Hela pinched his calf, causing Loki to repeat, “ow,” until she let go. He rubbed at the now cramping muscle.

“You are not ergi,” she and Thor said simultaneously.

Hela’s expression darkened slightly. “Point me in the direction of anyone who has ever called you that.”

Loki sighed. “The list is too long to even bother.” When her expression darkened further and he heard thunder crash outside Loki decided to change the subject. “What happened to Fenris?”

By her narrow-eyed gaze, Loki knew Hela wasn’t falling for his change in topic. Luckily, she let it slide. “Fenris remains dead. Her body was laid back to rest underneath the palace.”

“I’m sorry,” Loki had rather liked the wolf.

“As am I but, just because she is dead doesn’t mean she is gone.” Hela performed an intricate gesture and a white mist began to swirl around her hand before resolving itself into a ghostly image of the great wolf. She sat at Hela’s side, visible only for a few moments before fading from view. “Fenris is always with me.”

“What about you?” Thor asked.

Loki’s brow furrowed and he turned his head so that he could see his brother. “Me? What about me?”

“What were you doing roaming the halls?”

Loki shrugged, “I couldn’t sleep.”

“Any particular reason why?” Hela asked.

“Not really,” Loki replied. “My mind would not quiet. I… I suppose I’m simply waiting for the fallout of everything that’s happened. Cul and Mimir caused so much destruction and I…” Loki pulled away from Thor and stood. Thor and Hela stood as well, both waiting for him to finish his thought but Loki wasn’t sure he should. He blew out a breath. “Cul used my body when he did those things and, well, given how the people already think of me no one will bother to differentiate between us.”

“You’re expect to be blamed for Cul’s actions?” Thor asked in surprise.

“I know I will.” From the corner of his eye, he saw Thor and Hela share a look. He decided he might as well keep going. “Thor, I started this by letting the Jötunn into the Vault to disrupt your coronation. That is on _me_ and because of that decision; everything afterwards spiraled out of control. So, yes, I am to blame for enabling Cul to do everything he did.”

Thor appeared about to argue but Loki cut him off. “Thor, you cannot look me in the eye and tell me that I will not be blamed. Even before Cul possessed me, the nobility was holding me responsible for the increased hostilities between Asgard and Jötunheim. Hel, according to your friends I orchestrated everything so that I could take the throne. Even if it isn’t true it doesn’t change it.

“The same goes for your death on Midgard. I never wanted that to happen, I never wanted the Destroyer to hurt anyone but the narrative is that I killed you to get you out of the way.

“I will always be the one held accountable for everyone woes. Do you remember when Hogun suggested that I killed the ‘real’ Loki and took his place? It wouldn’t take much of anything for that to suddenly become truth even if it is all a lie. I’m a liar, or so everyone claims so nothing I say will ever be believed. If I went to the people now and told them I had no control over anything Cul did while he possessed me it would still be my fault because,” he shrugged, “I did it for some sort of personal gain. It’s just the way it is Thor and I accepted it a long time ago.”

“Well I _don’t_ accept it,” Thor growled. His expression became distressed. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“What would have been the point?”

“Then we change it,” Hela said. “We tell the truth, tell everyone what really happened and what we saw with our own eyes. If enough of us corroborate your story then they would have to believe you.”

Loki shook his head. “No, they won’t. All they’ll say is that I enchanted you to make myself seem the victim.”

“You _are_ the victim.”

He gave them both a sad smile. “I’ll never be the victim, only the villain.” His heart heavy, Loki turned and made his way slowly down the corridor. He wondered what would become of him and where his place in the Realms was now. He doubted he could stay in Asgard given the hatred towards him and he most certainly wasn’t about to go to Jötunheim. Midgard maybe but… no, too much destruction there also. Loki could think of nowhere he could go where he wouldn’t be despised.

Perhaps he would have been better off if Hela hadn’t brought him back but he instantly shook those thoughts from his head. He was glad he was alive and, now that he thought about it, Stark had seemed adamant that he visit Midgard. “Loki” would have to go though. It wouldn’t be any trouble for him to change his appearance and create a new identity. As much as he would hate to give up who he was, it was better than the alternative.

Loki decided that’s what he would do. Tomorrow, “Loki” would cease to exist and he would leave Asgard forever. He thought about telling his family what he needed to do but decided against it. He would just disappear and besides, who would really end up missing him anyway?

* * *

The loud bang, which reverberated through his room from his doors being forcefully thrust open, startled Loki awake. He shot up, dagger manifesting in his hand as he did so.

“Get up,” Odin growled, storming up to his bed.

Loki sent the dagger away. “What? Why, what’s going on?”

“I said get up,” Odin repeated. “Get up, get dressed and come with me.” His father’s ire seemed to rise when Loki only blinked at him in confusion. “ _Now!_ ”

Loki scrambled up, every childhood instinct reacting to his father’s tone. He quickly did as his father had ordered, though taking the time to quickly freshen up before dressing. When he exited his bath, his father was still standing in the middle of Loki’s rooms, arms folded across his chest and not looking any happier. Odin gave a nod upon spotting Loki and stormed from the room. Loki followed though he was unsure of what was going on.

He spotted his mother in the hallway and any question Loki thought to voice died on his tongue the moment he saw the expression on her face. She was equally as angry as his father was so Loki simply followed them silently. All the while wondering, _what did I do?_

His parents led him from the palace and into a waiting carriage. Loki valiantly managed to refrain from fidgeting nervously. He had no idea where they were going or what had gotten his parents into such a foul mood.

They rode for what seemed like a couple of hours though Loki doubted it really was that long. It was just the silence was killing him. A few times, he thought to try asking them what was going on but the stern looks they shot him every time he opened his mouth had him biting his lips instead.

Loki nearly jumped out of his skin when his father asked, “Everything was your fault and everyone hates you.” His single eye bore into Loki. “That is what you believe?”

Thor and Hela must have told them about the conversation they’d had in the hall last night. _Traitors,_ he thought. “It’s not as though that’s news,” Loki replied.

“And what were you planning to do?” his mother asked, “Sneak out in the middle of the night and never return?”

Loki gave a half shrug and began to pick at his nails. “No… more like… this afternoon.” He watched as they both became steadily angrier. “I don’t see why you’re so upset. It’s what’s best for everyone.”

“After everything we went through to get you back and you were just going to disappear?”

“I don’t…”

The carriage came to a stop and Loki fell silent. His father opened the door and his mother pointed, “Out.”

Loki followed his father and waited for his mother to exit. They led him away from the carriage and Loki realized they were near one of the outer villages. What seemed like the entire village milled about the marketplace as they approached and Loki spotted, much to his surprise, Helblindi and Býleistr among them. Bestla was speaking with the villagers while Farbauti kept an eye on her sons.

“Hey!” Stark called, waving an arm. “Yo, Merlin, over here!”

Loki froze when what seemed like every villager stopped what they were doing to stare at him. He spotted Thor and Hela along with Volstagg, Fandral passing out what looked to be food.

“Prince Loki!” someone shouted. “Look, it’s Prince Loki!”

The voices of the crowd rose, repeating his name excitedly and several of the villagers rushed over to where he stood. Loki was overwhelmed by the sheer happiness he saw in their faces upon seeing him. Children eagerly asked him to display his magic while the adults attempted to corral them. He felt his parents each put a steading hand on his back.

“We were so glad to hear you returned safe and well,” an elder village woman said. “We feared the worst when news came that you had been taken by Cul.”

“You… you were worried for me?”

“Of course we were,” the woman replied. “You are our prince. What you did for the Realms, for Asgard and for your family,” the woman took his hand and patted it gently, “was very brave. We are thankful Princess Hela was able to return your life to you. If she had been unable to then Asgard would have lost one of its brightest stars.”

Loki’s eyes darted to where the four Jötnar stood, each proudly displaying their blue skin and heritage lines. Glancing back at the crowd, he saw no animosity from any of them.

“The Jötnar are not the monsters they were portrayed to be,” the old woman said gently. “Some are, but not all. The same can be said of the Æsir but if given the chance; our peoples can become close once again.”

As if to prove her words, Býleistr and Helblindi each swung an Æsir child onto their shoulders. The children were awed by their size, especially since Helblindi was around their age and yet he towered over them.

“You would still accept me as your prince,” Loki asked, his eyes roving over those gathered, “even though I was born to Laufey?”

“You are Odinson,” another villager scoffed. “We accept no other truth than that.”

“They reject your reality and substitute their own!” yelled Stark, somehow managing to push his way closer. When he finally made his way to the front of the crowd, he hooked his arm with Loki’s then winked at him. “Prepare to be smothered with affection Lokes.” Louder Stark yelled, “Make way! Savior of the Universe, coming through!”

The gentle shove to his back had him moving into the crowd. He recognized many of the villagers from the times he’d come to tutor the children or simply to help out and intermingle with the people. He’d always enjoyed those times since it allowed him to throw off the trappings of “prince” and simply be “Loki”. It had never occurred to him just how appreciative of that the villagers had been.

He let himself to be ushered along and slowly allowed himself to accept what was before his eyes. It eased something in his heart, an ache that had been there for a long time. Eventually Loki relaxed and allowed himself to simply _be._

Loki listened as Thor and the two warriors regaled the villagers with a rather embellished story of the events, painting Loki as more heroic than he thought he’d been. He put on a show of magic for the children with many of the adults just as awed. Stark watched with a childlike glee, although from Loki could discern, Stark was an overgrown child. The man was very entertaining to watch.

Sometime later, after several pranks had been pulled at Thor and Býleistr’s expense (Stark was the instigator and had roped Helblindi and Loki into it. That was Loki’s story and he was sticking to it.) Thor wrapped an arm around Loki’s shoulder as they watched the continued festivities. Thor leaned in and whispered, “How does it feel to be the sun, brother?”

Loki felt his cheeks flush but couldn’t help his smile. “Amazing,” he replied. “It feels amazing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Que sera, sera (though I only used the first part) means whatever will be, will be.


	26. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Endings are hard...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe we made it. I also can't believe this fix has passed 10K hits! This fic has been fun and about 90% of it was completely unplanned. When I started out I was thinking of doing something short, around 30K or so since my last fic was over 100K. Obviously things didn't go as planned but that's okay.
> 
> I'm thinking of doing a few bonus chapters in the future to wrap up some extra things I wasn’t able to work into the main fic. I don’t know when that'll be though since my muse is poking me to finish the next fic in the Pieces universe. I'm hoping that one will be shorter but it's already nearing 12k words and I haven't even gotten to the part that I want yet.

**_Epilogue_ **

_One year later_

“I’m telling you, it’ll work.”

Loki glanced over at Tony, who was gesturing at a hologram being projected across the room.

“I don’t see how,” Jane replied, “because you’re talking about something that doesn’t exist. Let’s say, for the sake of argument, magic does exist, how would you even plan on harnessing it? You want to incorporate something proven to not exist so—”

“I’m going to stop you right there,” Tony interrupted. “First of all,” he came over and gestured to Loki as though he was one of the _Price is Right_ girls. “Loki literally embodies magic. Second, you’re talking to a guy who built a mini ARC reactor in a cave, with spare parts and a car battery hooked to his chest. I don’t _do_ impossible.”

Loki’s eyes briefly flickered to Tony’s chest where the reactor used to be. As a thank you for his help in defeating Cul, Asgard had offered its healing knowledge to safety remove the reactor and shrapnel surrounding Tony’s heart. Tony had gratefully taken them up on the offer.

Jane rolled her eyes, clearly unconvinced. “Magic is just science we don’t yet understand.”

Now Loki rolled his eyes. That was her go to explanation whenever magic was brought up. He doubted she would ever be convinced to the contrary.

Tony groaned, “Loki, please school your future sister-in-law.”

“Thor hasn’t actually proposed yet,” he replied.

“Oh please, we all know he will. He’s already asked Pepper what he’s supposed to do. I think Pepper and, weirdly enough Hela, have already taken him ring shopping.”

“Too late,” Jane said, holding up her left hand to display a tiny silver band.

He and Tony both blinked at her. “I thought you said…” Tony asked.

“He hasn’t,” Loki replied.

“Not officially,” Jane said, lowering her hand. “This is more of a promise to do so.”

Tony grinned and Loki already knew where his mind was going. “He’ll kill is both, you know that right?”

“It’ll be _totally_ worth it.”

“What’ll be worth it?” Thor asked as he, Pepper, Hela and Helblindi entered the lab. Helblindi had what looked to be a tub of ice cream in his hands.

“Nothing,” Loki and Tony answered.

“It’s a secret,” Loki added.

“Can you tell me?” asked Helblindi.

“Sure,” Loki said, motioning the boy over. “You’ll be our partner in crime after all.”

Helblindi, all seven and a half feet of him, bounded over like a happy puppy. Kid had had a growth spurt over the past year and now completely towered over them all. Loki whispered what they’d been talking about to him and Helblindi nodded eagerly the more he was told.

Thor sighed, “You three should never have been allowed to become friends.”

Hela laughed, “Let them have their fun.”

“Just wait until they turn on you.”

“They know better.”

All three of them turned their gazes on Hela and Thor raised an eyebrow. “You were saying?”

“I’m the oldest,” Hela said.

Thor snorted. “So was I. Never stopped Loki though.”

“Tony’s a bad influence,” Loki said.

“Excuse you,” Tony said, mock offended. “Which one of us is older than dirt?”

Simultaneously, he, Thor and Helblindi all pointed to Hela.

“I’m the baby,” Helblindi said.

“Gotta love you, right?” Loki asked.

Tony threw up his hands. “I’ll never get used to you knowing shit like that.”

“What’s he talking about?” Hela asked.

“It’s an old early ‘90’s TV show,” Loki replied. “ _Dinosaurs_ or something like that. Anyway, before they got sidetracked, we were working on Tony’s new pet project. Jane _still_ won’t admit magic is real.”

Jane sighed. “Magic—”

“Is just science you don’t understand,” Loki said, finishing her thought. “And yet,” he wagged his fingers, allowing wisps of green to dance around them, “magic.”

“It can’t be magic,” Jane complained, crossing her arms stubbornly, “because that would completely change science as we know it. It also completely disregards the laws of physics!”

“Loki is a Seiðrmar, Thor can control the weather and I’m a Goddess of Death,” Hela said. “Your argument seems quite invalid.”

“I control ice,” Helblindi said.

“Yes you do,” said Tony.

Jane let out a frustrated sigh, clearly realizing she wasn’t going to win the argument. “There has to be a rational explanation,” she muttered.

“Oh, there is,” Loki said, “but it’s just using terms you don’t understand yet.”

“So it’s _not_ magic.”

“No, it’s magic but…” Loki pursed his lips in thought. “It’s like trying to explain quantum physics to a toddler.”

“I feel like I’ve just been insulted.”

“No insult intended but you’ve closed your mind to even the _idea_ of magic. There are more things in heaven and earth Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”

“And now he’s quoting Shakespeare,” Tony moaned.

Loki grinned then returned his attention to the hologram. He left the stool he’d been sitting on and walked over to the projection. There was something about the equation that was bugging him. “The ARC reactor was based in part off of the Tesseract, correct?”

“Yeah, why?”

“The ARC reactors energy is self-sustaining and it powers your suits. I’m not sure seiðr and your tech would be compatible at the moment.”

“I’ll take that as a challenge.”

Loki wouldn’t doubt it. “Look, if you adjust this equation like so…” Loki manipulated the hologram to modify the displayed equation. Doing so caused the projected outcome to change. He stepped back and waited for Tony to get it.

Tony’s eyes darted across the data and his jaw dropped. “Holy shit!”

“That’s not possible!” Jane cried.

“Uh, I think it is. Jay, render that!” Tony bounced over to Loki, throwing his arms around the trickster. “You’re a genius.” He leaned back a bit, “Thor, I’m keeping your brother.” He turned back to Loki. “Marry me.”

Loki snorted and pushed Tony away. “I don’t think your wife would be too happy with that.”

“His wife isn’t even surprised,” Pepper said. “What would surprise me is if he stopped saying things like that. I’d begin to worry.”

As Tony’s project rendered, they left the lab and returned upstairs. Loki smelled pizza and stifled laughter at not just the amount of pizza there was but Helblindi’s excitement at eating it. 

They sat conversing over pizza, delving into a discussion about Tony’s personality, among other topics to come up. There was mention once again about future nuptials for Thor and Jane. Loki quipped about making Tony the flower girl.

Loki listened as his _family_ laughed and teased one another, feeling his heart swell with happiness. So much had changed in the past year and to Loki’s surprise, nearly all of it had been for the better. His family and friends had grown to encompass all those present and some who were not on Midgard. His mind wandered as he thought about all that had happened.

Loki hadn’t completely come to terms with the truth of his birth. It still stung to know how easily he’d been tossed away but it did help knowing that he was related to his family by blood, even if it wasn’t in the manner he knew growing up. What surprised him the most was it hadn’t actually changed anything. His parents were still his parents and Thor was still his brother. That knowledge vanquished the fear he’d held upon learning the truth.

He and Farbauti had spoken at length and had agreed that they would never have a mother/son relationship, she had said Frigga held the place of “mother” in Loki’s heart and she would not try to change that. Farbauti had birthed him but she would never be able to love him as a mother should. It was one of the many things she now regretted in her life.

It turned out Farbauti’s condition had to do with a curse Cul had placed upon her and not the poison Laufey had tried to kill her with. Upon Cul’s death, it had lifted and Farbauti had finally been able to think clearly for the first time in ages. Unfortunately, one thing that had stayed were her feelings towards Loki. She no longer hated him the way she had before, but she didn’t love him as she should either.

As the Realms were beginning to recover from Cul and Mimir’s machinations, Asgard and Jötunheim found themselves with a bit of a dilemma. The laws of succession on both Realms found Loki to be King and heir. Loki had quickly abdicated Jötunheim’s throne to Býleistr, who had taken on the mantle of King quite nicely. He’d been raised for Jötunheim’s throne whereas Loki had not. The “transition” of power had been smooth.

In regards to Asgard, Loki recalled the day his father had dragged him, Hela and Thor to court. There were some among the nobles who wanted to see Loki removed from the line of succession, banished from Asgard even. He hadn’t shown it outwardly but their words had _hurt._

In the aftermath of everything, Odin had cleaned house. While many on the Council had inherited their positions, those who his father had deemed untrustworthy or who had been outright treasonous had been removed from their posts and jailed in some cases. After all was said and done, only two of the original twelve Councilors had remained. All of the others had been replaced.

Some of the nobility had abdicated that Hela become heir to the throne since she was Odin’s first born. She had clearly stated that she was already Queen of Hel and did not need another kingdom to manage. Even Thor had surprised him when he’d stated he would give up the throne too. Loki had nearly stabbed him right then and there.

There was a month where his father had fallen into the Odinsleep, the forcing himself from the previous one and subsequent events had finally caught up with him. When the Council had suggested putting Thor on the throne, his brother had fled so fast Loki was surprised he hadn’t left a Thor-shaped smoke cloud in his wake. His mother had become Queen Regent for the duration. Her rule had been blessed by Bestla, who as the Dowager Queen had left no room for argument.

Loki’s eyes flickered over to Hela. His sister was very kind and caring but she could be crazy scary if she wanted to be. Case in point, the first time she and Sif had met. Sif had been adamant in her hatred and jealousy of Loki and had tried all she could to convince Hela of the same.

Loki and Thor had both been afraid they would need to hide a body afterwards. Loki had enjoyed watching Sif leave with her tail between her legs but he’d felt bad for Thor. His brother had been friends with Sif for years and Loki found himself feeling guilty that their friendship was falling apart. He told Thor his feelings, something Loki had a hard time doing. Thor said the state of his friendship with Sif was his problem and that Loki shouldn’t concern himself with it, let alone feel guilty.

Luckily not all of Thor’s friends were like Sif. Fandral and Volstagg were true to their word and were trying their best to become real friends with Loki. Loki was glad he wasn’t the cause for Thor losing all.of his friends. He actually found the two warriors to be pleasurable company. 

Loki found himself amazed at how quickly he’d come to accept that he had _siblings_ and not just Thor. He’d bonded with Hela during his entrapment and his bond with Thor had only strengthened after he’d been freed. What amazed Loki was how quickly and easily it had been to bond with Býleistr and Helblindi. They weren’t brothers, not in the way he and Thor were but there was potential.

Loki’s mind returned to the present at mention of his name.

“He hasn’t even proposed yet,” said Hela.

“I know,” replied Tony, “but that doesn’t change the fact once Thor and Jane start having kids that Loki’s gonna end up being the favorite uncle. Kids freaking gravitate towards him.”

“Which explains you, right?” Thor quipped.

Tony threw a piece of pizza crust at Thor. “You’re hilarious.”

“I’m the God of Mischief and children excel at mischief,” Loki said. He smiled, “Of course children would gravitate towards me.”

“Have you told him yet?” Hela asked.

“Told who what?” asked Helblindi.

Everyone waited expectantly for Hela to continue. Loki smirked, already in on the secret.

“I’m a death goddess and while I sense death, I also sense life,” replied Hela, her clear eye twinkling. “Loki’s place as favorite uncle may come sooner than you think.”

Thor and Tony’s heads turned to Jane so fast it’s amazing they didn’t give themselves whiplash. Thor’s eyes were wide as saucers. “A-are you…”

“I’m not pregnant!” Jane exclaimed. “I can prove it too but that may be _way_ TMI for Helblindi.”

“TMI?” Helblindi asked.

“Too much information,” Loki told him. He wrinkled his nose, “Trust me, you don’t want to know.”

“Hela isn’t talking about Jane,” Pepper said. She stood, “With my family history I wanted to wait to be sure. Hela and Eir have both assured me I have nothing to worry about.” She drew in a breath. “Loki.”

With a nod and purposeful wave of his hand, he dropped the glamour he had around her. He waited and watched as Tony’s brain sputtered to a stop for a moment before going into overdrive. His eyes were glued to Pepper’s slight, yet noticeable, baby bump.

_“You’re pregnant!”_ Tony shrieked. He reached octaves none of them knew he could get to.

“Pepper’s having a baby!” Helblindi exclaimed excitedly.

As they all began to congratulate the couple Tony spun towards Loki, “And you knew!”

“Pepper came to me about a month ago and asked if I could make her appear pre-pregnancy.”

“I wanted to wait,” Pepper said. “I didn’t want to tell you then lose the baby.”

“You won’t,” Hela assured. “Your child’s spirit is strong and, as a death goddess, I wouldn’t let anything happen to your little one.”

“Oh my god,” Tony breathed, “I’m gonna be a dad.” Then, panicked, “I’m gonna be a dad!” Tony paled, “Dear God, I’m going to screw this kid up so bad.”

“You’ll be fine,” Thor told him. “You have all of us to help you.”

Tony stood on shaky legs then went over to his wife and pulled her in for a kiss. “We’re going to be parents and I have _no_ idea how to parent.”

“That’s all right, Pepper’s already had enough practice taking care of you,” Loki said.

Pepper nodded in agreement, “He’s right.”

“Well, since it is customary to give gifts for the newborn,” Loki stood and called forth his seiðr. In his hands appeared a golden baby cap with little horns curling up from the front. Stitched along the side were the words “Trickster in Training”. He presented it to Tony and Pepper, “Here is but one from me.”

Several months later, after little Morgan was born surrounded by friends and family, she came home from the hospital wearing that little horned cap. Hela’s prediction came true in the end as well, Loki was most definitely the favorite uncle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't help paying homage to my Pieces verse. 😁
> 
> The equation Loki adjusted was for Tony’s Mark whatever that he has in Infinity War.


End file.
